What are my boundaries? What are my needs? How do I share them with my partners? Sarah and Alex try to understand the differences between rules and boundaries, needs and desires.

Mentioned in the episode: 

Glitter & Greed: The Lisa Frank Story

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links.

Hollywood made a movie about open relationships (sort of). We watched it so you don't have to!

Mentioned in the episode: 

Splitsville | Together | Together’s free couples therapy gimmick | 

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Sarah and Jessica are fasting this week, so we’re sharing an episode that first aired in the spring of 2024. Is polyamory inherently apolitical? Is it just an excuse for rich people to avoid thinking about climate change? Did Sarah accidentally make out with a Trump supporter at the ferry dock??? Tune in to find out! 

Mentioned in the episode: 

Parents Fast for Gaza | @parentsfast4gaza on instagram | @stute on instagram | The Atlantic - Polyamory, the Ruling Class’s Latest Fad | Time Magazine - Polyamory isn’t just for liberals: The Surprising Political Evolution of American Polyamory | More: A Memoir of Open Marriage | Stranger in a Strange Land  

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links.

Sarah and Alex talk with therapist and ‘Crush Coach’ (it’s not what you think), Calvin Burnap, about mindfulness, queerness and the gift of bad sex.

Mentioned in the episode: 

The Crush Coach | The Crush Coach on Instagram | All About Love | Esther Perel | The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin | Jenny Hayo | Dan Savage 

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

LInks to bookshop.org are affiliate links.

A mysterious green tupperware offers a portal to the past. Sarah and Alex talk about how their feelings about hierarchy, sleepovers, vetoes and more have changed over five years of being polyamorous.

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Sarah and Alex investigate mind-blowing, legendary, earth-moving sex, to find out if such a thing actually exists, and if so, how to have it.

Mentioned in the episode:

Sexucation for Men Podcast | “Take my Breath Away” Scene from Top Gun | Partner-Specific Learning

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Sarah and Alex unpack the mournful refrain: “if only I was into girls,” and question whether modern relationships between men and women are fundamentally doomed.

Mentioned in the episode:

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward | Midsommar (film) | The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood | If Hetero Relationships Are So Bad, Why Do Women Go Back For More? On The Cut

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!

How does death, loss and grief impact our relationships? After a year filled with loss, Sarah and Alex talk to a trauma-informed spiritual care provider about the taboos around death, and what happens to our desire when people around us die. 

Mentioned in the episode:

Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration by David Wojnarowicz | Without: Poems by Donald Hall | Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments: Intimate Histories of Riotous Black Girls, Troublesome Women, and Queer Radicals by Saidiya Hartman

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!

Is it you? Is it me? Are you moving to Antarctica?? In this episode we talk about how and how not to end a relationship.

Mentioned in the episode:

@karamintheworld on Instagram

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Are the same dynamics screwing up our relationships also hampering our social movements? Sarah and Alex talk to activist and law professor Dean Spade about the romance myth, capitalism and love in this f*cked up world.

Mentioned in the episode:

Love in a F*cked Up World | DeanSpade.net | The Death Panel | Movement Memos

Also by Dean Spade:

Mutual Aid | Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics, and the Limits of Law

[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links. Any proceeds will support this podcast!