Modern Couples

Infidelity is one of the hottest of hot-button issues in relationships, and a never-ending source of judgment, recrimination, and pain.

But where all that misses the mark is in that infidelity isn’tjust about sex, and there’s never just one side to the story. Andsurprisingly, some relationships do survive one or the other “cheating” on them. While that’s not always possible—unmet emotional and other needs can make ending the relationship the healthiest outcome for both partners—with some work, there can be healing and reconnection.

“Some” work? No: a lot of work! It’s not enough toapologize and move on: partners have to work through the truth of what happened (truth, as opposed to painful details), and must be equally committed to the process.

Perhaps unexpectedly, the new relationship forged through this process may look completely different from the original one: it’s a transformation brought about what the partners went through and what they’re willing to commit to in the future.

By now we’ve all had a chance to try ChatGPT. And it’s probable that the first few times you used it, you were amazed, right? But as time went by, you probably found it less and less enthralling. And that goes double, or maybe even triple, when you’re using it for relationship advice.

So, yeah, trusting your relationship to a machine, no matter how quick and clever it might seem, may not be the best decision you’ve ever made. But let us tell you why…

First of all, it’s not replacing your flesh-and-blood therapist anytime soon. For one thing, AI misses a lot.

Secondly, the level of trust that builds between you and your therapist cannot be replaced by a machine. Therapists observe and accompany you (and your partner, if you’re in couples’ therapy) on a journey that isn’t on the AI menu.

Does that mean that a chatbot isn’t helpful in therapy? AI is a tool that can aid your therapist, but a lot of its success remains with you.

Chatbots can provide language and structure, but human skill, experience, and intuition are your therapist’s most useful tools for deep relational work.

In other words, ask AI for help in scheduling, or computing, or in fast answers to obscure questions… but don’t place your lovely and fragile relationship in its hands!

Marriages work (or don’t work) in a number of different ways. Some couples enjoy frequent sex; others have less sexual activity, or none at all. Whatever they choose is right for them, as long as both partners are in agreement about the level of intimacy they give and receive.

Problems arise when one partner wants more (or less) sexual intimacy than does the other. This can often manifest in thefeeling of being roommates rather than a couple. The partner who wishes for more intimacy can experience disconnection, rejection, and dissatisfaction, while the partner wanting less may be experiencing shame, discomfort, and pressure.

The key to solving the “roommate” problem is communication. Both partners need to be clear and honest about their needs—and about why those needs are important. A willingness to be vulnerable and not rely on assumptions is critical.

Sexual desire can wane for a number of different reasons: aging, childbirth, weight gain, life events, a lack of novelty, and more. Long-term sexual satisfaction often requires both emotional attunement and intentional efforts to keep engaged.

Different couples have different ways of viewing sexual intimacy, which can be affected by their ages, genders, agreed upon relationship models, and more. As long as there is open communication and regular self-reflection, then a healthy relationship connection is possible.