Modern Hysteria

I didn’t know sex isn’t supposed to hurt.

Did you know that? Penetrative sex is supposed to be free of any unwanted pain. ANY UNWANTED pain.

That’s what I learned from Rachel Gelman, physical therapist and sexuality counselor, in this week’s episode.

I also learned that 75% of women will have painful penetrative sex in their lifetime. 👀

Painful sex can be a result of invisible, chronic illness, pelvic floor dysfunction, or a lifetime of dogmatic messaging about sex.

THE TABOO

The taboo we reveal in this episode is that many people — particularly people with vulvas — have had and continue to have painful penetrative sex.

Women in our patriarchal culture are often conditioned to anticipate or accept pain as a part of intimacy, and spend years (decades!) not knowing their experience is not normal (but dreadfully common), and treatable.

LINKS + RESOURCES

The Pelvic People - on a mission to end painful sex

* 🛒 The Ohnut depth-limiting rings

The International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH)

* 🏥 Find a provider

Pelvic Wellness + Physical Therapy

* 🗓️ Schedule a virtual visit with Rachel Gelman, DPT, CSC

TIME STAMPS

* 02:30 – Why patients come to pelvic floor therapy (often self-referred through Reddit)

* 04:45 – Your pelvic floor muscles and how they affect sex and pain.

* 13:50 – How media and culture condition women to expect sex to be painful.

* 16:30 – Why people push through pain: duty, stigma, survival.

* 18:45 – Texas sex toy laws and why female pleasure is still taboo.

* 23:20 – Vaginal dryness: causes, hormones, and why lube helps but isn’t always enough.

* 28:10 – Endo, adeno, PCOS, and fibroids: A quick overview and relevance.

* 32:30 – What to expect in a pelvic floor therapy session

* 41:45 – How to talk to your partner about painful sex.

THE GUEST EXPERT

Dr. Rachel Gelman’s mission is to make women/people with vulvas aware that certain life events (pregnancy and menopause) can impact their sex life but that there are options to address their sexual health concerns and common issues, like pain with sex or low desire do not need to be accepted as normal.

* 📍 San Francisco, California

* 🛜 Pelvic Wellness + Physical Therapy: Promoting wellness for anyone with a pelvis

* ✍🏻 Rachel’s blog: The Pelvic Post

* 📱 Follow Rachel on Instagram: @pelvichealthsf

KEY TAKEAWAYS

* Sex should be pain free to the extent you want it to be

* Painful penetrative sex can be the result of conditions like endometriosis, adenomyosis, fibroids, or PCOS, pelvic floor dysfunction like vaginismus (which can be a side effect of trauma and/or fear of sex).

* Sex toys, lube, sexuality counseling, and pelvic floor physical therapy are ways to treat painful sex

How to talk to your partner about painful sex

“Hey, I was listening to this podcast and they were talking about pain with sex.

“It's interesting because I've actually had pain with sex and I always thought it was normal, but this lady said, it's actually not normal and it's actually really common, but there's things that can be done about it. I didn't know that, and I didn't realize there were things I could do about it, but I would like to try _.

“I wanted to tell you that I have been having pain.”

P.S. I made you this silly quiz to find out which feminist banned book you are:

🔮 Which Banned Feminist Book Are You?

Other episodes you might like:

Full informed consent — before you agree to a medical treatment, test, or medication, you’ve been given all the information you need in a way you can understand, and you’re able to make the decision freely, without pressure.

This episode uncovers how women — especially Black women — are often prescribed fertility and mental health medications without full informed consent.

… and how systemic racism, medical misogyny, and lack of personalized care create dangerous, traumatic, and entirely avoidable outcomes in reproductive and mental health care.

(Because our sex hormones and our stress hormones are inextricably linked, reproductive and mental healthcare go hand-in-hand, but they’re not always treated as such).

Dr. Cyntia Brown, a clinical pharmacist and fertility expert, shares how her own medical trauma shaped her mission to empower others to ask the right questions, advocate for themselves, and demand better care.

THE TABOO

Even the smartest, most educated women, doctors and pharmacists included, are not safe from being gaslit, coerced, or harmed in our healthcare system.

And when it comes to reproductive and mental health care (which are often intimately intertwined), the stakes are HIGH.

It’s even more taboo to say that racism and misogyny, not race or risk factors, are why Black women are dying at higher rates in pregnancy and childbirth. It’s not race; it’s racism.

THE GUEST EXPERT

Cyntia Brown is a doctor of pharmacy and clinical pharmacologist working in the women’s health sector helping women feel empowered and capable of healing at her concierge practice, Kopela Health.

Links and resources:

* 📱 Her Instagram: dr.cyntia.obrown

* 🗂️ Her business: Kopela Health

* 🗓️ Book a consult with Dr. Brown

* 🛒 Shop her favorite products

* 💊 Her favorite prenatal vitamin

* ⏲️ Her recommended ovulation tracker: Inito Fertility Monitor

KEY TAKEAWAYS

* You deserve to know the real risks, benefits, alternatives, and long-term effects of the medications you’re prescribed—including hormonal birth control, antidepressants, and fertility drugs. If your provider isn’t giving you the full picture, that’s not informed consent.

* Misogyny and racism are baked into the institution of healthcare in the US, by which Black women are disproportionately harmed. And better care isn’t necessarily about better providers; it’s about naming and dismantling the systemic issues that lead to increased rates of maternal mortality.

TIME STAMPS

* 1:20: How your partner’s race or privilege can affect your care

* 3:40: Mental health, fertility care, rX drugs

* 6:58: Withdrawing from psych drugs

* 8:06: Effects of long-term oral birth control on fertility

* 11:00: Believe women!

* 16:21: ‘Big Pharma’

* 19:42: What does “holistic” really mean?

LISTENER ACTION ITEMS

* ✅ When you're prescribed a medication, remember you can ask:

* When was this drug approved?

* Is it new?

* What are the actual risks and percentages of side effects?

* Would you take this drug yourself?

* ✅ Request pharmacogenomic testing, especially if you've experienced side effects or been on multiple medications. It can help determine how your body uniquely metabolizes drugs and whether a medication is likely to be effective or harmful for you.

* ✅ Get a second opinion. If you feel unsure about your medication or treatment plan, consult with a clinical pharmacist or specialist like Dr. Cyntia Brown who can explain your options and help you advocate for you.

WHAT'S IN HER BAG?

💋 Danessa Myricks Blurring Balm

Does this episode resonate?

Tell me in the comments; I read every single one!

Upcoming episodes of Modern Hysteria:

* S1E21 Painful Sex with Rachel Gelman, DPT

* S1E22 Menopause x Body Image with Menopause & Misogyny

* S1E23 Pleasure x Orgasm x The Clitoris with Cindy Scharkey, RN

* S1E24 Disorganized Attachment x Relationships with Grace Bithell

* S1E25 Vulvas x Vaginas x What’s Normal? with Carla Carpenter, MD

* S1E26 ADHD x Motherhood with Avery Wasmanski

You can subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify ☺️

Hi— It’s Micah from Modern Hysteria, podcast and newsletter revealing the taboos of women’s brains and bodies. This episode is about how medical gaslighting — especially in fertility and pregnancy care — silences women, and why Black women face the highest in a system never built to protect them.

Subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

Raise your hand if you have been personally victimized by oral birth control 👋

… or had side effects from a medication that were worse than the condition it was supposed to treat. 👋

… or if you felt like you were talked down to or dismissed by a healthcare provider when you complained about medication or its side effects 👋

… or if you just stopped asking questions in a medical appointment because you felt annoying or bothersome, even though you had concerns 👋

… or if you have taken a medication — appropriately prescribed or not — that has altered the course of your life 👋

If your hand is raised, this episode is for you.

The Taboo

Even smart, educated women — even medical professionals — can be ignored by their own doctors, especially during fertility and pregnancy care.

Because our stress and sex hormones are deeply connected, reproductive care often overlaps with mental health care. But when women — especially Black women — speak up, we’re often seen as dramatic instead of being believed.

It’s taboo to talk about how common this is and how dangerous it can be. But during Black Maternal Health Week, we need to say it clearly:

Misogyny and racism are alive in healthcare.And they put women’s lives at risk — especially Black women’s.

According to the Johns Hopkins Center for Communication Programs:

This crisis is driven by unconscious bias in the medical system and its actors. In a 2016 survey of white medical students, nearly half held false beliefs about biological differences in Black patients, including thicker skin and less sensitive nerve endings.

Another 2020 study found that Black babies are more likely to live if they are cared for by a Black physician. Recently, the CDC declared racism a public health threat. The maternal mortality crisis in the United States emphasizes the truth behind this declaration: It is racism, not race, that is killing America’s Black mothers and babies.

This week’s guest, Dr. Cyntia Brown, talks about why she helps women understand the meds they’re given, especially when they’re trying to get pregnant.

But here’s the thing: This type of advocacy shouldn’t be a privilege. It should be part of humane health care.

Because being treated like a “silly little girl” for speaking out about pain and discomfort — or side effects of medications — isn’t just insulting.

It can be deadly.

The Guest Expert

Cyntia Onuoha-Brown is a doctor of pharmacy and clinical pharmacologist working in the women’s health sector helping women feel empowered and capable of healing at her concierge practice, Kopela Health.

Links and resources:

* 📱 Her Instagram: dr.cyntia.obrown

* 🗂️ Her business: Kopela Health

* 🗓️ Book a consult with Dr. Brown

* 🛒 Shop her favorite products

* 💊 Her favorite prenatal vitamin

* ⏲️ Her recommended ovulation tracker: Inito Fertility Monitor

Key Takeaways

* Medical credentials don’t protect patients from dismissal.Even with a doctorate in pharmacy, Cyntia was ignored and minimized, especially in her pregnancy care (and, as we will learn in Part 2 (S1E20), in her mental health care, too).

* Systemic racism and misogyny are baked into medicine.Black women face barriers to quality care not because of race, but because of racism.

* Advocacy is often the only safeguard.The system isn’t built to protect women’s voices. We need providers like Cyntia to help us interpret and question our care.

Time Stamps

* 04:52 – Integrative fertility

* 05:42 – Aside on estrogen, body fat, and fibroids

* 07:04 – Expensive birth control

* 14:01 – Medical gaslighting, dismissal, and self doubt

* 21:54 – Progesterone mini-pill and mood instability

* 28:34 – Racial disparities in PCOS and endometriosis diagnoses

* 30:39 – How Cyntia helps women interpret labs and advocate for themselves

* 32:04 – Restoring the human touch in healthcare

Listener Action Items

* ✅ Ask hard questions. If something feels off, ask questions or for a second opinion (did you know you can ask for your provider’s clinical notes?) even if it feels uncomfortable.

* ✅ Get a second opinion. Especially when you’re being prescribed medications you don’t understand and you’re having side effects. It’s okay to switch providers, too.

* ✅ Know what you're taking. Learn what medications are meant to do, and what they might also be doing as side effects.

* ✅ Talk about it. Share this episode to raise awareness and reduce the shame around medical gaslighting.

That’s it for Part 1 of this conversation with Dr. Cyntia Brown. Next week, look out for Part 2 (S1E20), where we dive deeper into

* how fertility meds, hormonal contraceptives, and mental health intersect — especially for women with PMDD, endo, or a history of trauma

* break down how drugs like progesterone can both help and harm

* the ethics of pharmaceutical care,

* why informed consent in women’s health is often missing

If you've ever wondered “Why didn’t anyone tell me this?” — next week’s episode is for you.

Does this resonate? Tell me in the comments; I read every single one!

Part 2:

Upcoming episodes of Modern Hysteria:

* S1E21 Painful Sex with Rachel Gelman, DPT

* S1E22 Menopause x Body Image with Menopause & Misogyny

* S1E23 Pleasure x Orgasm x The Clitoris with Cindy Scharkey, RN

* S1E24 Disorganized Attachment x Relationships with Grace Bithell

* S1E25 Vulvas x Vaginas x What’s Normal? with Carla Carpenter, MD

* S1E26 ADHD x Motherhood with Avery Wasmanski

You can subscribe and listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify ☺️

K, that’s it for this episode.

Talk soon,

Micah

P.S. I made you this silly quiz to find out which feminist banned book you are 🙃 …. wanna find out?

Which Banned Feminist Book Are You?

Other episodes you might like:

Have you ever been six months pregnant, doing your very best to hold your pee, crying hysterically, and been told to “CALM DOWN!!!?”

That advice — to “just relax” — is not helpful, especially when you’re pregnant, your body’s going through changes, and you’re worried the stress will impact your baby. And maybe even less so when you’re pregnant after a pregnancy loss or complication.

In this episode, Parijat Deshpande explains how the “body keeps the score” in pregnancy and what we can do about it.

Links + Resources

* 🆓 Stress Solutions Quiz

* 🌈 Follow Parijat @theruvelle on Instagram

* 💻 Ruvelle — revolutionizing your high-risk pregnancy

* ✍🏻 The Body Language Journal

* 📘 The Pregnancy Brain book

The Guest Expert

Parijat Deshpande is the founder of Ruvelle, the only truly trauma-informed company specifically dedicated to improving high-risk pregnancy outcomes, reducing preterm birth, and supporting parents to pass on generational health.

On a mission to end the high-risk pregnancy crisis, she has served and supported thousands of clients through her live events, virtual courses, one-on-one consulting, her bestselling book, Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy, and the Body Language Journal.

Learn more here.

Key Takeaways

1. Stress isn’t just in your head—it’s in your whole body.

Pregnancy stress affects your brain, nervous system, hormones, and immune system. It’s not something you can just “think away.” That’s why advice like “just relax” doesn’t work, and can even make you feel worse.

2. Your past pregnancy experiences may linger within body, and healing is possible.

If you’ve had a loss, traumatic birth, etc., your body might still be holding onto that stress. You’re not broken, and you didn’t do anything wrong. Somatic healing (body-based work) can help you process it and support your body before, during, or after pregnancy.

Time Stamps

* 7:58: The gaps in care for pregnant people dealing with trauma and chronic stress.

* 17:07: Why 'just relax' doesn’t work for pregnant people under stress

* 23:36: How chronic stress affects pregnancy via the nervous, endocrine, and immune systems

* 29:18: Somatic memories

* 34:20: Completing ‘stress cycles’

* 49:17: How the body and brain change during pregnancy and postpartum

P.S. It’s National Library Week this week — I made you this silly quiz to find out which feminist banned book you are 🙃

Which Banned Feminist Book Are You?

If you’ve ever felt like your body was “wrong,” worried way too much about how you look, or spent time poking or prodding your body in front of the mirror, this episode is for you.

We’re talking about body dysmorphia — what it is, how it shows up, and how we can work through it.

I ask physical therapist Dr. Laura Glazebrook how shame, social media, and toxic positivity affect the way we see ourselves, and how things like therapy, movement, gratitude — and neuroplasticity — can help us reconnect with our bodies and feel more at peace.

The Taboo

Lots of people struggle with body image or body dysmorphia, but it’s still hard to talk about. We’re often told to “just be confident” or “be grateful,” which can make us feel ashamed for having real, painful thoughts about how we look. This episode breaks the silence around struggling with your body, and how it doesn’t make you vain, broken, or alone; it makes you human.

Time Stamps

* 13:06 – What is body dysmorphia, and where does it come from?

* 19:52 – Dr. Laura shares grounding practices through sensory experience

* 26:39 – Neuroplasticity and brain patterns in BDD

* 31:30 – Gratitude vs. toxic positivity

* 46:52 – Adolescence, incels, and cultural influences

* 56:25 – How to support loved ones with BDD or become more resilience re: body image

Links + Resources

* 🆓 Pelvic Floor Self-Assessment Guide

* Follow Laura on Instagram at @laura.g.dpt

* Laura’s website

* Adolescence trailer

* Bodies Are Cool children’s book

The Guest Expert

Dr. Laura Glazebrook earned her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from University of North Georgia, then spent ten years specializing in neurological injuries. She specialized training to evaluate and treat a variety of pelvic health concerns for all genders and ages, as well as complex spinal conditions including scoliosis and kyphosis.

Laura is also an adult living with severe scoliosis and spinal fusion, and after her two pregnancies and childbirth experiences she became passionate about providing more resources for women during life-altering transformational seasons like pregnancy, postpartum.

* 📍 Atlanta, GA, USA

* 🏥 Treats adolescents and adults with scoliosis, kyphosis and pelvic health concerns, and also coaches women around the world virtually through her website

“I’ve lived a lifetime of feeling traumatized and unable to live within my body. I’ve worked my way through crippling body dysmorphia and feeling othered because of the way my body looks (and how others perceive it).

“As I get closer to middle age I realize that our inner knowing and resilience is extraordinary and I’m on board for any endeavor that can reassure another human that they are unbelievable and worthy of all the good things they can imagine.”

— Laura Glazebrook, DPT

Key Takeaways

* Body dysmorphia can make us see ourselves in ways that aren’t real.It can cause us to fixate on flaws, avoid mirrors or social situations, and even obsess over how we look, sometimes so much that it affects daily life. But it’s more common than we think and not something to be ashamed of.

* Our brains can change, which means healing is possible. ✨ We can build new thought patterns over time (thanks, neuroplasticity!) with therapy, mindfulness, and gratitude, so we can feel more at home in our bodies.

* Social media and toxic beauty standards fuel body image issues.Curating what we consume — like following body-diverse creators and limiting filters — can protect our mental health. And using gentle, neutral language about our bodies can be powerful!

That’s it for this week’s episode!

Did this resonate with you? Tell me in the comments; I read every single one!

Coming up on Modern Hysteria:

* Pregnancy brain

* Menopause x misogyny x body image

* Pleasure x orgasm

* Vulvovaginal disease (what’s normal?!)

* Painful sex

* Disorganized attachment

Subscribe here on Substack to get new episodes right to your inbox, or listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

P.S. Are we connected on Instagram yet?

WELCOME TO PINKPILLED. These mini-sodes expose how patriarchy and medical misogyny affect our brains and bodies.

In honor of Endometriosis Awareness Month, we’re starting off with endometriosis, a little-understood and shockingly-common chronic illness. 🩸

What is endometriosis?

Endometriosis — or “endo” — is chronic illness that can affect women and people assigned female at birth from their first period to the end of their lives. It happens when tissue that’s similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus, like on:

* ovaries and fallopian tubes

* bladder and bowel

* stomach lining

* lungs and other organs

Endometriosis affects 1 in 10 women and people assigned female at birth (more than diabetes or asthma!), yet SO FEW OF THEM have even heard of it.

Why is endometriosis so bad?

When your body goes through a menstrual cycle wherein hormones tell the lining of your uterus to grow. If you don’t get pregnant, your body sheds that lining. That’s your period.

But with endometriosis, the tissue outside your uterus also reacts to those hormones, gets thick, breaks down, and bleeds. But that blood outside the uterus has no way to leave your body. It stays trapped inside, causing:

* swelling

* lesions

* scar tissue

* adhesions (when your tissues stick together)

The symptoms can get so severe they are estimated to cost the US economy somewhere between $22 and $80 billion annually in direct medical costs and lost wages.

What does endometriosis feel like?

Endometriosis symptoms can vary, but many people feel:

* bad cramps that don’t go away with painkillers

* pain during or after sex

* pain when peeing or pooping

* fatigue

* bloating (sometimes called “endo belly”)

* infertility

According to the World Economic Forum, endometriosis may be responsible for up to 50% of unexplained infertility.

How is endometriosis diagnosed?

Right now, the only way to if you have endometriosis is to have a surgery called an exploratory laparoscopy (or “ex lap”), where a doctor looks inside your belly with a camera.

That means a lot of people live for years without getting the right diagnosis — especially teens and women of color, who are more likely to be told their pain is “normal.”

The difficulties with diagnosis are one of the most insidious effects of endo. It’s common, but individuals often see an average of eight doctors over 10 years before getting the correct diagnosis. It takes an average of somewhere between 5 and 12 years of symptoms before patients get the help they need.

And in that time, you can be told you’re overreacting, “just stressed,” or that it’s all in your head. This is medical misogyny in action.

What’s the treatment for endometriosis?

There is no cure for endometriosis.

Some patients are put on birth control pills. Others have ablation surgery, in which the affected areas are burned and cauterized. Still others have excision surgery where the endometriomas and lesions are cut away. Both of these procedures have a tendency to leave behind affected tissue, so symptoms often recur.

Hormonal treatments and pain meds are Band-Aids for this whole-body disease.

Why haven’t you heard more about endometriosis?

Answer: Medical misogyny in action.

Our medical system — and medical education, even for OBgyns — doesn’t always take women’s pain seriously. Women’s reproductive pain tends to be pathologized and attributed to psych issues.

Meanwhile, according to the WHO, approximately 10% of reproductive-age women and girls (and people AFAB) worldwide are affected by endometriosis. This equates to around 190 million people.

Still, endometriosis research is severely underfunded. In 2022, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) allocated $27 million to endometriosis research. This averages out to about $2 per patient. In contrast, diabetes, which is comparably prevalent, received $50/patient in funding.

Medical misogyny — the systemic dismissal, devaluation, and underfunding of women’s health concerns — is baked into nearly every part of how endometriosis is researched, treated, and diagnosed.

Please comment, rate, and review this podcast, or share it to help make sure it reaches the people who need it most!

Source Material

WHO endometriosis

Rescripted: Endometriosis

Most of us hold a deeply-entrenched belief that women’s value rests on our appearances. Specifically, how well we adhere to a very narrow and problematic standard of beauty: thin, white, feminine, and ageless.

It’s an impossible standard, and one that we carry with us both consciously and subconsciously. It motivates us to spend, globally, 73 billion USD every year on “anti-aging” (projected to hit 140.9 billion by 2034), of which North America alone spends $29.2 billion.

This episode is about how this pressure to stay young forever shapes our beliefs and habits around exercise, and what we can do if:

* you’re feeling the shift in your body as you age to more fatigue, stiffness, and slower recovery

* you’ve been sold the anti-aging lie and are exhausted by the pressure to stay small, toned, and ageless

* you want better; a relationship with exercise that focuses on joy, strength, and ability ✨

The Taboo

Women are taught to treat aging like a failure. That if our bodies get softer, slower, or need more rest, we’re doing something wrong. That we should fight aging tool-and-nail with workouts, diets, Botox, or willpower.

This episode challenges all of that.

We’re saying:

* Aging isn’t a flaw.

* Rest isn’t laziness.

* Movement isn’t just about looking young; it's about feeling strong and free, now and later.

We’re not here to anti-age. We’re here to train for the life we actually want in our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.

Links + Resources

* Bamboo Bodies ™️

* 🆓 Neuro Warm-Up Video

* Angi’s blog

The Guest Expert

You met Angi McClure in S1E1, when she shared why she’s not anti-aging but pro-aging.

Angi is a neuro-based movement therapist specializing in age science. She uses functional Chinese medicine through movement (Qigong), nutrition and seasonal lifestyle habits through her movement program called Bamboo Bodies™, a movement system based on the seasons and applied neurology.

Key Takeaways

* Train for what you want to do later, not just how you look now. Movement should help you play, explore, and stay strong as you age, not punish your body into shrinking.

* Recovery isn’t optional, it’s training. Rest, stillness, and nervous system care are just as important as strength and cardio. Especially in perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopausal women.

* You’re not broken, and aging is not a failure. Your body is shifting, not falling apart. And there’s power in working with those changes, not against them.

Timestamps

* 04:05 — Why we need to stop exercising for looks and start training for function

* 08:07 — Aging as “seasons”

* 10:36 — Resiliency redefined: bouncing back without wasting resources

* 14:08 — What movement women need in their 30s, 40s, 50s (and why it changes)

* 23:14 — Angi’s movement checklist: nervous system, vision, balance, strength

* 34:12 — Build a movement plan based on what your brain is thirsty for

* 37:21 — Why women must train for the “internal winter” with intention

* 44:35 — Stillness is a skill; rest isn’t weakness, it’s training

* 50:08 — Pro-aging is a radical act in a culture obsessed with staying young

* 58:38 — Final takeaways + 4 simple action steps to age well, with power

Here’s what’s coming up on Modern Hysteria:

* Menopause x body image with Menopause & Misogyny

* Body dysmorphia x resilience with Dr. Laura Glazebrook

* Pregnancy brain with Parijat Deshpande

* A new series of mini-sodes I’m calling “Pink-Pilled”

… I can’t wait to share more!

Fertility is about more than just an egg count or a sperm sample. It’s a whole-body process. And we often overlook one basic question when trying to conceive (TTC): Are you giving your body the things it needs to thrive outside of your fertility?

In this episode, fertility nutritionist Neema Savvides breaks down how nutrition and other commonly-overlooked health factors impact fertility, why diet culture complicates fertility advice, and what you can do to take control of your reproductive health (instead of feeling at the mercy of your lab results). We discuss:

* What “unexplained infertility” really means

* Why IVF is not a fail-safe or magic fix

* How diet culture has infiltrated our understanding of fertility nutrition

* How underlying conditions like nutrient deficiency, restrictive dieting, and thyroid issues can impact fertility (and can be managed)

The Taboo

Fertility struggles and TTC are deeply personal, and using interventions like IVF (in vitro fertilization) and IUI (intrauterine insemination) require us to put a lot of trust in clinicians and the fertility industry. But what if you’re diagnosed with “unexplained infertility,” and the imperfect system that’s supposed to help you get pregnant is also somewhat to blame?

This episode challenges the unspoken truth that fertility clinics are businesses and sometimes prioritize efficiency — and, potentially, profit — over comprehensive testing or whole-body health, while there are things you can do before or during intervention to support your body and improve chances of success.

The Guest Expert

Neema Savvides is a fertility nutritionist with over twelve years of clinical experience. She specializes in treating clients with PCOS, endometriosis, and using IVF.

* 📍 London, UK

* 📱 neemasavvides_fertility

* 🍓 5-Day Habit Challenge: Reset and Reboot

Links + Resources

Key Takeaways

* What we call “unexplained infertility” is often un-investigated infertility. Many fertility clinics skip addressing thyroid health, inflammation, and nutrient levels, which could explain why conception isn’t happening.

* Fertility nutrition is really about nutrient adequacy, not restriction. Diet culture often pushes “clean eating,” but eating enough and focusing on key nutrients (rather than eliminating foods) is recommended.

* IVF is not a guarantee of pregnancy, and prepping your body matters, because interventions like IVF and IUI don’t fix poor egg or sperm quality. Optimizing your nutrition, reducing inflammation, and getting the right tests before starting treatment can improve success rates.

Time Stamps:

* 04:31 | The reality of “unexplained infertility” (and why it’s often more un-investigated than unexplained)

* 07:16 | What fertility clinics may not test for, but should

* 14:51 | How diet culture warps our ideas about fertility nutrition

* 18:31 | Key tests for understanding your fertility

* 22:01 | The truth about IVF success rates and what most people don’t know before starting treatment

* 25:41 | How nutrition really affects fertility; what to focus on (without food fear)

* 30:01 | “Toxins” and fertility

* 34:16 | Managing the emotional side of fertility struggles

* 38:31 | Action items ✅

⚠️ Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of abuse and intimate partner violence

This week, we’re talking about the protective effect of our gal pals on our health, our wellness, and our ability to survive and escape toxic relationships with crisis counselor, coach, author, and podcaster Stephanie McPhail.

We ask and answer: Why do we stay in the cycle of unhealthy romantic relationships, and how can our friendships help us break away?

In this episode:

* The role of social support in our longevity and happiness

* What to do if you’re losing a loved one to a toxic relationship

* How our *girlfriends* can be an escape route from these bad relationships

* How to take steps to make solid friendships

The Taboo

It’s extremely uncomfortable to tell a friend that their partner is potentially bad for them. We’re taught to mind our own business when it comes to other peoples’ relationships, even when we see clear red flags.

The Guest

Stephanie McPhail authored the book Being Love Shouldn’t Hurt and hosts the podcast Toxic Love.

✍🏻 Stephanie’s blog

🆓 6 Steps to Recognize + Overcome Toxic Relationships

Time Stamps

03:45 – Guest Introduction: Stephanie McPhail

05:35 – Why women ghost their friends in toxic relationships

09:11 – The Harvard research on relationships and longevity

12:46 – Isolation in toxic relationships

13:41 – Aside: Gaslighting

17:31 – Aside: Trauma Bonding

19:26 – Red flags of a toxic relationship

22:16 – How to support a friend in a toxic relationship

26:26 – Toxic vs. abusive relationships (and the gray area)

40:40 – How to reconnect after ghosting friends

51:55 – What’s in your bag?

Action Items

If you feel you are in a toxic relationship:

Listen to the whisper in your head (your gut knows)

Start reconnecting with one friend today, even if it’s just sending one simple text (“Sorry I’ve been distant; I’d love to reconnect”)

Seek external support (like a therapist or women’s group)

If your friend is in a toxic relationship:

Keep the door open ("You are always welcome, but your partner is not”)

Check in regularly (even when they pull away)

Offer a safe exit plan ("If you ever need a place to stay, my door is open.")

This week we’re talking about one embarrassing and annoying — and common but NOT NORMAL — side effect of childbirth: Peeing in your pants.

In this episode, sports scientist and semi-pro athlete Patricia Siegel walks us through:

* ⚠️ pelvic floor dysfunction

* 🏆 her battle with urinary incontinence as a mom and runner

The Taboo

PEEING YOUR PANTS IS EMBARRASSING. Or, at least, that’s the stigma we carry with us, which is wild because urinary incontinence and pelvic floor dysfunction are so common.

Pelvic floor dysfunction is when the muscles in your pelvic floor — which support your bladder, uterus, and rectum and help control peeing, pooping, and even sex — aren’t working the way they should.

There are two common — and opposing — forms of pelvic floor dysfunction that can cause urinary incontinence, and both are treatable:

* Weak pelvic floor muscles. Your muscles don’t contract like they should.

* Too-tight (hypertonic) pelvic floor muscles. Your muscles are constantly rigid and don’t have enough “give” to control your bladder correctly.

Links + Resources

* Patricia in Strong Fitness Magazine

* Trader Joe’s Jojoba Lemongrass Almond Oil

The Guest

* Follow Patricia — @thefitpelvicfloor — on Instagram here

* Patricia’s website

* Patricia in print

Key Takeaways

✅ Peeing yourself is common but NOT normal.

Bladder leaks after childbirth, menopause, or high-impact exercise are not something you just have to live with.

Incontinence is a sign of pelvic floor dysfunction and can be treated at any age.

✅ Kegels are not always the answer.

Some women have muscles that are too tight, and kegels can make symptoms worse.

If you have pain during sex, trouble emptying your bladder, or pelvic tension, you may need relaxation, not just strengthening.

→ Look out for an upcoming podcast episode on painful sex with pelvic therapist Rachel Gelman!

✅ You don’t have to stop exercising.

Running, walking, and strength training can support pelvic floor recovery. You don’t have to stop doing the things you love and that make you feel like you!

The key is knowing your symptoms, using the right kind of rehab, and making small adjustments to train your pelvic floor the right way.

Time Stamps

* 03:04 - What is the pelvic floor?

* 12:36 - Why normalizing pelvic floor dysfunction (PFD) can be harmful

* 16:03 - Sexual trauma and PFD

* 19:13 - C-sections versus vaginal birth and PFD

* 25:10 - Why kegels aren’t a fix-all

* 31:46 - Too weak or too tight? Your PFD checklist

Upcoming

* 💝 S1E13 Female Friendships x Escaping Toxic Relationships with Stephanie McPhail

* 🤬 S1E14 Mom Rage with Allison Staiger

* 💉 S1E15 IVF x Nutrition with Neema Savvides

Sources

Effect of the length of the second stage of labor on pelvic floor dysfunction

Prevalence and Normalization of Stress Urinary Incontinence in Female Strength Athletes

Sexual Abuse History and Pelvic Floor Disorders in Women

Pelvic Floor Muscle Problems Mediate Sexual Problems in Young Adult Rape Victims

Pelvic Healing After Sexual Assault

Pelvic Floor Muscle Training for Treatment of Urinary Incontinence in Women