Liz Sanicola of Mom in the Worksand the Mom Deconstructed Podcastis a wife, mom to three (plus 8 chickens, a dog, and a cat), writer, tech junkie, homesteader, budding permaculturist (is that a thing?!) and craver of simplicity. She and her husband are often asked how they “do it all”, but the reality is… they DON’T! She’s doing her best to keep life simple amidst the chaos of modern life. In the age of technology and the never ending list of "all the things", it seems that people have never been so far apart. Her goal is to help bring some clarity and sanity to our lives and help relate the lessons we have learned so that others might find their own path to a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Listen as Liz shares how she:

• Separates what she needs to do vs. what she wants to do.
• Struggles how to be “all the things.”
• Always feels like there is a stone somewhere unturned.
• Writing down daily and long term goals has helped her.
• Her and her husband’s relationship is different than the norm.
• Keeps the health and wellness of her family a priority.
• Strives to keep her life simple.

Quotables:

“My whole life I had an abundance of patience, where did it go when I became a mom?” - Liz Sanicola

“Women’s personal expectations are to be a domestic goddess.” - Liz Sanicola

“I always feel like there is a stone unturned somewhere.” - Liz Sanicola

“What’s the point if we are just driving ourselves crazy all the time?” - Liz Sanicola

“It’s so insane to me that people will say anything on Facebook, but will NOT say anything to me at school pick up.” - Liz Sanicola

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This week we are deconstructing the myth that becoming parents is an easy decision.  We are revisiting our conversation from last week with Liza Tremblay. If you missed it, go back and download episode 9.  As a refresher, Liza is a mom of two, a restaurateur and food entrepreneur.  While building their businesses, they struggled with infertility, but since have built a family and business life unique to them.

Liz and Kate discuss:

• How to keep ALL the calendars straight.
• Importance of going out with your partner & friends, even as an introvert.
• Breaking the routine can work for both you (and your kids!).
• How to support friends & family who are battling with infertility.
• Pregnancy is such an internal struggle.
• We ARE in the right place at the right time (at least, how we are TRYING to be present in the moment).
• Age appropriate chores and how everyone *can* contribute to the household.

Resolve.org - How to support friends and family

Huffington Post - What not to say to someone trying to conceive.

New York Times: Age Appropriate Chores

MORE FROM LIZA

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Quotables:

“We have a standing Friday night date night, sometimes we just go in the backyard.” - Liz Sanicola

“You trap yourself into what you perceive as the easiest route to success.” - Liz Sanicola

“Sometimes you can’t always “fix” things, you just need to listen.” - Kate Turza

“We have an intrinsic desire to relate to one another, but why are we comparing?” - Liz Sanicola

“When you are IN the moment, that’s where the magic happens.” - Liz Sanicola

“When my brain isn’t actively engaged, I always start thinking about what needs to happen next.” - Kate Turza

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Mom...In The Works

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Liza Tremblay is the mother of Leo and Rosie and the owner of Bay Burger restaurant and Joe & Liza's Ice Cream, based in Sag Harbor, New York.  Her and her husband, Joe, have owned and operated Bayburger and Joe and Liza’s Ice Cream for the last 11 years.  When Liza isn’t working full-time or mothering her two children, you can find her going out to her weekly date with her husband or out to dinner with her friends.  

Listen as Liza shares how:

• Even though she’s been a mom for seven years she’s still in the thick of it.
• She manages being a full-time business owner AND a mom.
• Important scheduling weekly date nights and girls nights are.
• She navigated a three year journey to get pregnant the first time, and two year journey the second.
• How she got off and took a breath from the infertility train.
• Her advice for moms who are trying to get pregnant.
• Her family rose to the occasion after her recent surgery.

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Mom...In The Works

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Quotables:

“I never feel like I’m in the right place at the right time.” - Liza Tremblay

“Maybe you’re a little sleepy and hungover the next day, but it’s worth it.” - Liza Tremblay

“Drink a Redbull, put some mascara on and let’s do this.” - Liza Tremblay

“Like lightning in a bottle, they don’t know what’s going to work.” - Liza Tremblay

“Once you’re on the infertility train no one asks if you want to stop or talk about it.” - Liza Tremblay

“I knew I wanted to be a mom and I knew we were going to figure it out.” - Liza Tremblay

“Life with mommy out of commission managed to continue.” - Liza Tremblay

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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Carrie Sharpe.  Here’s that episode.  Carrie is a mom of 5, who is navigating “older” children as her first child prepares to leave the nest. Liz and Kate discuss:

• Bonuses of having older children.
• How children can contribute to the household, using incentives!
• Carrie’s tips for keeping her relationship with her husband strong.
• Where you can find time for your relationship when you have young kids.
• Letting go of the guilt to go on date night.
• How partnership is work.

Here’s more more about Carrie’s son (Maverick’s) birth & harrowing NICU journey.  

Quotables:

“We all get stuck in a rut, we need to remember to re-evaluate.” - Kate

“It is in those times of crisis that brings challenges and strengths to the forefront.” - Liz

“It’s always a work in progress.” - Liz

“Marriage is portrayed as blissful all the time, and it’s NOT.  There are really hard times you need to work through.” - Kate

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Carrie Sharpe is a Communication Consultant and Speaker and co-owner of He says, She says. A highly sought-after international speaker, Carrie develops courses and coaches clients on public speaking skills, interview skills, and other communication topics. She earned her degree in Political Science and Psychology from Lake Superior State University. Carrie is a Huffington Post Contributor and has been quoted in a variety of publications including LiveStrong, Business Insider, and Bustle. She resides in northern Michigan with her husband, Ryan, and their five children.

Listen as Carrie shares how her mothering journey has evolved as her children have gotten older:

• She’s preparing for her oldest to leave the nest.
• Days truly do go slow, but years fly by.
• She stays present and creates memories with her family.
• To keep your relationship strong after having children.
• Everyone contributes to completing household chores.
• She homeschooled all her children.
• To say “No” without guilt

Quotables:

“Just because it works today, doesn’t mean you won’t be tweaking it tomorrow.” - Carrie Sharpe

“There are years of my life I don’t even remember.” - Carrie Sharpe

“When you’re in a crisis, you see the best and worst of each other.  Any issues in the relationship are magnified during and after the event.” - Carrie Sharpe

“The older I get, the more inclined I am to say no to obligatory things.”- Carrie Sharpe

“Is this a necessity right now? Is this my priority or someone else’s?” - Carrie Sharpe

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Mom...In The Works

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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Sasha Gray.  Here’s that episode. Sasha is an older and wiser version of her first time mothering self, as she’s mothering the second time around.

Liz and Kate discuss:

• the ups and downs of the myth that “Practice makes perfect”
• How not to view your shortcomings as “failures.”
• Having to remind ourselves we are enough.
• What’s best for everyone is relative.
• How to create productive members of society (PMOS).
• Life experiences and how they shape us.
• When we ACTUALLY have time to stop, think, and analyze.

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Sasha’s Mini Group Sessions ~ 30 minute classes that give solutions and guidance that you can take action on immediately.

Sasha’s  Glitter & Grace Club ~ a membership site that offers daily motivation and inspiration, along with a monthly zoom call and a birthday gift in the mail.   

Sasha’s  Mindset Switch Coaching

Quotables:

“It wasn’t a failure, it was what I had to do for survival.” - Kate Turza

“You have to treat yourself as you would treat your friends.” - Liz Sanicola

“PMOS Training: Become a Productive Member of Society.” - Sasha Gray

“It won’t look pretty, but it will get done.” - Liz Sanicola

“Life is full of stumbling blocks, you need to focus on things that matter.” - Liz Sanicola

“In 20 minutes I can go from loving it to a raging maniac.” - Liz Sanicola

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Sasha Gray of Scattered Sashais a writer of words, spewer of sarcasm, and a margarita loving, sassy Southern belle raising her 11 year old granddaughter. Sasha believes life is tough for a lot of us, and we’re all just doing the best we can. But she also believes that kindness, laughing, and doing a little dance every now and then is sometimes the answer to everyday life. Sometimes we just need a margarita and some glitter to give us that extra push.

Sasha brings her unique brand of motivational humor to her Facebook home - Scattered Sasha- where her daily lives and weekly show make us laugh, and remind us that we are perfectly imperfect and that's just fine.

Sasha's mottos are: Make a difference. Build people up. Create Laughter. Spread a little love.....

And with a journey fraught with caffeine and chaos, and slapped together by pixie dust and tequila, Sasha knows a thing or two about differences, building people up, creating laughter and spreading a little love.

Listen as Sasha shares how:

• She uses her wisdom as an “older” mom to make more intentional choices.
• She deals with second guessing her decisions and regret.
• Her granddaughter became her daughter.
• Social Media has changed her mothering journey.
• Her life experience (age?) allows her to set better boundaries and priorities.
• To deal with self-criticism (Take that picture!)
• Laughter has helped her cope.
• To raise a child in an atypical family.
• She chooses happiness.

MORE FROM SASHA:

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Sasha’s Mini Group Sessions ~ 30 minute classes that give solutions and guidance that you can take action on immediately.

Sasha’s  Glitter & Grace Club ~ a membership site that offers daily motivation and inspiration, along with a monthly zoom call and a birthday gift in the mail.   

Sasha’s  Mindset Switch Coaching

Quotables:

“My journey is fraught with caffeine and chaos, slapped together by pixie dust and tequila” - Sasha Gray

“I have no regrets, just fabulous experiences” - Sasha Gray

“If it causes drama or trauma, just say no” - Sasha Gray

“You have 1000 little boxes in your soul that are filled with all the good things people tell you.  If you let 1 box fill with ugly, then it festers and grows, then there is no room for the good boxes of kindness and joy.” - Sasha Gray

“Fill your head and soul with positive” - Sasha Gray

“Can’t change how people act, but how we react” - Sasha Gray

“What is in my realm of possibility?” - Sasha Gray

“PMOS Training: How to make your child a Productive Member Of Society” - Sasha Gray

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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Sarah Argenal.  Here’s that episode. Sarah works in the fast-paced litigation field but set plans in motion when she began her family to transition into a work from home mom.

Liz and Kate discuss:

• the ups and downs of the myth that “it all goes to plan”
• Where motherhood fits into our identities.
• Embracing shifting priorities.
• How routines help us get through the daily parenting tasks.
• Where to find time for ourselves & partners.
• What our self care looks like.
• Study that women do more housework than their partners.

**Clarification & Updates: Sarah worked as a Litigation Support Analyst (not as a lawyer), we misspoke in the episode! As a recent update, she still continues to work in this field from home after the birth of her second child.**

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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula

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Mom...In The Works

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Quotables:

“It was a hard decision to stick with it.” - Kate Turza

“It’s so easy to lost track of priorities when you’re in the moment.” - Liz Sanicola

“It could be as simple as making eye contact and saying “I love you.”  - Liz Sanicola

“Self care...think small.” - Kate Turza

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This week on the Mom Deconstructed Podcast we are talking with Sarah Argenal.  

Sarah Argenal is the Founder of the Working Parent Resource and Host of the Working Parent Resource Podcast. She facilitates candid conversations, offers reliable resources and provides practical training to help professional moms and dads integrate all aspects of their lives without sacrificing one area over another.  Sarah has her Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and Adult Development and is a Certified Professional Coach with nearly 20 years of experience in counseling, coaching, college-level instruction, course development, and project management. You can find out more about Sarah and everything she offers atwww.WorkingParentResource.com, where you can find Sarah’s free online training for professional moms and dads to help them address the real reasons why they don't have enough time and suffer in survival mode.  ""What's Behind Your Burnout: The 3 Biggest Burnout Triggers and How to Overcome Them".

Sarah shares her decision to leave her fast-paced career in litigation once she had a family and how she managed to find her sense of balance.  

**Clarification & Updates: Sarah worked as a Litigation Support Analyst (not as a lawyer), we misspoke in the episode! As a recent update, she still continues to work in this field from home after the birth of her second child.**

Listen as Sarah shares how:

• She made the decision to leave her career in litigation to be a work at home mom.
• She balances working and being a mom.
• She felt she “wasn’t good at being a mom.”
• The parenting “experts” don’t know your family situation.
• There is no “right” way to parent.
• She manages unpredictability of children with her Type A personality
• To maintain yourself after you have a baby.
• To keep top of mind what you priorities are RIGHT NOW.
• She institutes boundaries to preserve herself.

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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula

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Simply Virtual

Mom...In The Works

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Quotables:

“I felt wasn’t very good at being a mom” - Sarah Argenal

“You need to learn to recalibrate moment to moment.” - Sarah Argenal

“You hear “you can’t have it all”, I didn’t like that.” - Sarah Argenal

“It’s not that I don’t have time, it’s that I don’t want to do it.” - Sarah Argenal

“I’ve got all these things I have to fit into my life, I need to choose what’s important RIGHT NOW.” - Sarah Argenal

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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Sara Topping.  Here’s that episode. Sara is a *mostly* stay at home mom of 3 young boys on the East End of Long Island.  

Liz and Kate discuss:

• the ups and downs of the myth that the “Stay at Home Mom” as the ideal.
• How we take it breath by breath
• How storytelling plays a role in our lives (check out something scientific)
  
• Reasons why we started this podcast    

Link:

Blog Post: What we fear most about our parenting journey

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Quotables:

“The good breaths get better and last longer.” - Kate Turza

“As a parent, all you can do is your best.” - Liz Sanicola

“We are the hardest on ourselves.” - Kate Turza

“Storytelling makes us relatable.” - Liz Sanicola

“Despite being surrounded by people, motherhood is extremely isolating.” - Kate Turza

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