Mom Founder Imagination Hub

Welcome to episode 216. This is a story of a single mom who has been battling chronic illness, Crohn's, and has also been in the hospital for at least 13 kidney related surgeries. in spite of her doctor appointments and uncertain health status every single day, she continues to go all in on building a business that expresses this: we are all that we are all champions inside. Today's guest is Elva Treviño. Elva is an entrepreneur with a passion for fitness, leadership, entertainment, and making a positive impact as a celebrity trainer and public speaker. She captivates audiences with her motivational talks, drawing from personal experiences and providing actionable advice to empower individuals to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Elva is living her mission. She's an example. An example for anyone that is finding themselves constantly in the hospital or constantly facing failures and challenges. And also an example for those of us who frankly are not. Yes, to be human is to struggle but some of us at least we have our health and this episode, I would really encourage you not just to hear Elva's words and see that she's super passionate, but I want you to feel, feel the sense of urgency that Elva has with the way that she is approaching her one life, despite being a single mom and having a chronic illness.

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Grab a free chapter of Fertile Imagination: https://www.melissallarena.com/fertileideas/

HIGHLIGHTED QUESTIONS

1) Share any stories you have of single parenting with a chronic illness (Crohn's) to help listeners with health concerns

2) What are your go-to self-care practices to combat business and/or single motherhood fatigue?

3) How have you navigated having a chronic illness to spread your message of building a community of champions? Any practical tips?

4) What single most important life lesson are you hoping your daughter takes away from seeing her mom move forward despite a chronic illness?

This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination, my book, a guide for stretching every mom's superpower for maximum impact. I share in this book also an example of a mom who was facing a major illness. Esther, who's a DJ in Amsterdam, big shout out to Esther. Serves as an example of what the mind is capable of when a mom is facing a really big health scare and is able to have so much confidence in herself to take the onus on herself to heal so that she can be the best mom she possibly can, and then also live out her dreams.

Totally no BS dreams, just like the ones that are on her heart, even if that includes playing Tupac at a former cathedral in a nightclub in Amsterdam, just like Esther. So that is in my book. And if you're inspired by Esther's story, I have other stories as well of humans who have thoroughly Used and express themselves by using a fertile imagination.

A fertile imagination is the ability to cast a vision that is so big that you may have never seen a mom accomplish it ever before. And Elva is also such an example of that. So take all her words to heart because they are, they have the potential to really set you on the path of deliberate action. Deliberate advocacy in your community and deliberate mommying to, to your kids. Enjoy the conversation. And if you're interested in the book, just go to ..

www.fertileideas.com.

About Elva

Elva Trevino is an entrepreneur with a passion for fitness, leadership, entertainment, and making a positive impact. As a celebrity trainer and public speaker, she captivates audiences with her motivational talks, drawing from personal experiences and providing actionable advice to empower individuals to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Additionally, Elva serves as a charismatic spokesmodel, effectively representing and collaborating with brands/non profits while leveraging her engaging presence to connect with a diverse audience. Her multifaceted approach, encompassing fitness advocacy, entertainment, charity work, community engagement, mentoring emerging leaders, owning her own businesses, and being a sought-after celebrity trainer, positions her as an influential figure across various domains. She's also been recognized for her visionary contributions, having been nominated as one of the top 100 visionaries in healthcare globally in 2021.

Follow her journey

https://www.instagram.com/advo_elva/

TRANSCRIPT

Elva Treviño, I am so excited to have you on the podcast. Thanks. I'm excited to be here. So this is something that listeners might not know.

So I am actually, which is unexpected, interviewing someone that is also in the big state of Texas in the United States. And you're in Houston, right? Yeah. Growing more every day. Yeah, I think the only time I've been there was to Minute Maid Baseball Park. So that is my impression of Houston thus far. And my little boys really enjoyed it.

So it was a really good time. And I wanted to just learn about you, your experiences, a little bit of your background, a bit about your champion mindset. I'm very intrigued by that. And also just. Tell us a little bit about what, what it is that you're looking to accomplish in Houston and the greater and the greater world.

What is your vision?

I love it. I'm really excited to be here. And just a quick shout out to Sev when you hear this for connecting us. And it's always great to connect with like minds in so many different ways. So, but to kick off that question, my name is Elva Trevino. I'm 38. I'll be 39 in April this year.

And I'm just a woman who has had a lot of. Dreams and visions, but has persevered through a lot of challenges that most people feel like they really wouldn't be able to get through to me. It's just a way of life, but it's always been the driving force of why I started pursuing entrepreneurship, why I started pouring into community and why I always just looked at my story as a backbone of something that could unlock others.

So in 2019, I started a brand called Champions Club that was actually built from my garage. And at the time I was marketing two different brands, working for others, seeing a need here in Houston for just helping people to wake up with health, personal training and things of that nature. But growing up severely asthmatic and having so many challenges when it came to my asthma, even as an athlete, I didn't realize how much mindset training that that actually.

Created throughout my life to get to a certain point where, as I was helping people in those years, marketing those two other brands prior to champions club, I noticed that there was something in the mindset that there was a gap that was needing basically being needed to fill. So when I say that you take the person who wants to lose a 50 pounds or race in a marathon or iron man, like I did, you see the bodybuilders and the athletes from teenage up to professional sports.

But what drives those results was always. And when I started getting to the average people, the stay at home moms, which are really not average, but just the everyday type of goals, I noticed. Why do we, why can't everyone feel like a champion at some point in their life? So fitness really became the gateway for me to really pour into others in my community.

And I never would have imagined back then that the pathway that took me on. Being that I just stayed relentless in my pursuit of my own personal health challenges that it would turn into this massive brand that's been able to serve clients in 15 different countries online, where we were able to open our first brick and mortar here in Houston that we're currently franchising a concept for, that we were able to spin off dreams like music and entertainment and community work and leadership and mentorship all through the walls of my gym.

So since 2019, we've basically created an umbrella company to actually, and we're working on a couple of sister concepts that have really aligned to the community in terms of leadership and just helping people to pursue their dreams. Now, when we look at those commonalities, the mindset's at the root of all of it.

So before champions clump came into existence in 2019, I'd gone through years of having so many health issues with my asthma, but it was the need for 13 kidney surgeries and having two tubes out of my left kidney that really put the fire in my heart and just my mindset to use my voice in a larger platform to really help people to wake up before they found themselves in shoes like mine.

And I know that we won't always all be here, but When I say I want to leave everything out here before anything ever were to happen, being that I'm a single mom and my daughter's entering her high school years. I've done just that over the last five years. It's really just been about the pursuit of making sure that we're leaving our mark behind so that The future of my daughter's being raised in is going to look a lot better than the way it's been And I think there's there's so many people that you are impacting by demonstrating just how How anyone can, can continue to like go after their dreams, even if they have a chronic illness, even if they are a single parent.

And, and I thought it would be really, really helpful to just share with the listeners a little bit about maybe like a story about a time when having a chronic illness for you or any of those surgeries. got in your way, but then you use the power of mindset to not let it stay in your way. Oh, there's some like, as you were speaking, I had like a flash of pictures and it's interesting because when I first started doing podcasts, it was typically the testimonial of this very thing.

So I think it's actually pretty cool that I'm coming full circle to come back into that health story as I still battle health. Issues every single day, basically. So taking it back to when I first started to find my voice, they always say, if you want to give, give some, get something done, give it to a busy person.

But when it comes to business too, when you have a parent or just someone who is waking up, hitting the floor, running for, for a mini them or nieces and nephews or siblings, just something that's bigger than them. There is no stopping. There are people who are relying on your efforts every single day. So back to those days where I was finding that voice inside of me and having to quietly go to my doctor's visits.

I ended up having about 13 different doctors towards the end of the two years of my surgeries. And most people didn't know what was going on at the time. The people I worked for at that time, there were a handful of people like a dot of people outside of my parents and my daughter who knew what I was experiencing, but I, in those days, it was really a time where I knew that I needed to isolate.

Myself away from the noise to stay clear and stay focused. You can probably compare it to someone who was told, Hey, you made it to the Olympics. You have three months to train. Like what kind of mindset would that take from someone? So taking that picture of the Olympic mindset, that's how I felt back then I was standing on stages, dolled up with hair and makeup.

Wearing a beautiful dress, speaking to people in the thousands at times, training on fitness and health and business and leadership. And all the while, when I had my two nephrostomy tubes out of my left kidney, which at that point, the doctors in my hospital had never put two tubes, two incisions into one kidney before.

They had no clue that I had these bags. That were taped to my ribs under my dress. They had no idea that I couldn't see sometimes past the first couple of rows. In fact, actually, after the last surgery. My mom was in the stands on that one. And it was supposed to be a big weekend. I had just gotten the tubes out.

It had been a long 22 months, financially and all those things. And I remember almost blacking out on stage. And if I showed you the picture, you wouldn't be able to tell. I'm sitting up there, going on a panel for 22 minutes, and as soon as I walked off that stage, I looked at my mom in the eyes, and she came from the medical industry, so she knew something was up.

And I grabbed her by the hand and I said, Take me to the hospital right now. Post surgery, I had a blood clot the size of a golf ball, but what they don't know, before I spoke, was that I was violently ill in the bathroom, vomiting, and just dizzy. But it was my pursuit of the people who needed to hear my story that day that didn't let me say, I can't talk today.

And there were so many moments through my career where I pushed through. There's another where they were going to first put the tube in my back, but I was doing my first gala that I was organizing for 250 people at Univision Studios on behalf of the brand that I was representing. And I looked at the doctor and I said, you can't do that.

I have a gala that's my gala for 250 people tomorrow. This is revolutionizing health in Houston for Latinos. You can't, you can't put that tube in my back. I have a backless dress. I have to wear it tomorrow. And I left the ER. Before I should have. So it's so many moments like that where we can find ourselves maybe being a little bit on the brink of, Tim Grover always says, a little bit of insanity.

And sometimes you have to have just a hint of that for you to truly make things happen. And I firmly believe that if we, if we test our mindsets, far enough, our bodies will always follow. So no matter if it's a health issue or a bad day, if it's a business idea or a family challenge, we all have moments like that.

Maybe mine come with medical records that are through the roof, but I feel like everyone listening to this can relate to those pivotal moments in themselves where they found a fight. They couldn't always explain where it was coming from, but they knew that they had to listen to that. So, like I said, there's so many moments I could go over, but those are two that I can recall right now.

Yeah, I think it's, it's, it goes back to what you said earlier, which is just that people are relying on your efforts. And it reminds me of, you know, The book that I wrote, Fertile Imagination, I have a chapter there that's dedicated to a woman who decided to become a DJ in her fifties and like play every kind of song you could possibly imagine.

And at one point, her daughter was six and her daughter had cancer. And of course, being a mom, she completely let go of herself. And some years later, she contracted cancer. And Esther was able to, with the same inner resourcefulness that you exhibited over the course of three years, not even knowing what kind of issue was going on.

She was bedridden for three years, right? She was able to like stop her own medications and, and, and feel her tailbone again. And it's like. I mean, anybody that's going to be able to go through all of that is going to know that, you know what, I'm going to light the world on fire with my passion. And I'm going to, now that I get a second chance, third chance, 15th chance, however many chances you feel you've been given, it's kind of like, well, what are you going to do with it?

Pardon for the tiny little interruption, but I wanted to tell you something that's so important. I wanted to tell you that I have created a program to help visionary mom entrepreneurs through the use of their fertile imagination. You know, that book I was talking about a little bit earlier where I'm helping you cast this vision that maybe you've never seen a mom accomplished before a income generating impact making business that you can actually do while being a present mom.

Yeah, that I'm going to teach you how to use that capability, that superpower of your fertile imagination so that this way you could accomplish whatever vision you have more quickly. I'm going to help you establish, earn the trust and gain the support of the mentors, moguls, or market makers who can take your business idea to the next level, all without awkward, nor having to pretend to be anyone else than your playful self.

Actually, your playful self is going to distinguish you and become your competitive edge. I want to talk to you. If this sounds right up your alley, if you're committed to really, really. Seeing your business idea and making it come true. Then I want to talk to you on a free consultation, 30 minutes over zoom confidential, so that this way you can articulate your precise vision, which is.

Huge, a lot of us have a hard time doing that. And second, we could come up with a clearly defined road map. One that takes into account the stage of motherhood in which you find yourself. I did that the other day. I was actually speaking to someone who wants to build out an HR consultancy practice. And in that 30 minute free complimentary session.

Complimentary and free being repetitive, we were able to figure out that what she needed to do right now in light of her kids school schedule was build relationships on the East Coast, a whole different time zone than where she is in the Rocky Mountain area. And she had it to, she had to figure out who would be the centers of influence so that this way, once her schedule cleared up in 2025, she could run, just hit the ground running and build out her HR consultancy practice.

We went through other things as well, but I wanted to just give you the nutshell so that this will, you have a good appreciation for the fact that these free 30 minute consultations, they will be limited because I really want to understand the business challenge that you're facing in the moment in not seeing your vision through.

And I also want to take a really, really keen. I and see what you might not be able to see or what is right under your nose and doable at any stage in which you are in as a mom, I E, maybe you're at that stage where you don't want to hop on airplanes and meet all these strangers in order to network. So I'll meet you where you are.

Just go to the link, melissalarina. com forward slash. Sessions, there is an application because it is really important that you are committed to the process of building out your business. And the application is so easy. It's absolutely insane how easy it is, especially in relation to everything that needs to happen in order for you to see your vision through and be a mom.

So I invite you to join me. On a free breakthrough session, let's go through your vision, articulate it, and I will help you with a roadmap so that this way you have a really good idea of your best next step. Meanwhile, if you do want to hire me as your coach, so that this way you can actually leverage the support of mentors, moguls, Or market makers who can actually take your business to the next level, then absolutely we can do so and have a conversation about what that might look like for you during those free consultations.

No pressure. This is really in service to you, a podcast listener. And I want to make sure that everything that you heard today, you're able to put into action in your real life. Again, melissalarino. com forward slash sessions. Enjoy the rest of the conversation. And this will be in the show notes. Exactly.

And, and, and honestly, it takes some of those moments for ourselves for a lot of times for us to feel like our backs against the wall. There is nothing else to do, but fight and fight. When we say the word fight, people take it as a negative thing. We're fighting for what we have every single day. And whether you feel like that's you're on the offensive side or the defensive side of it.

People don't realize they're in a fight every single day for their families and themselves, their mental health and all these things. I mean, the world is changing every single day. So when I look back, all those challenges were absolutely necessary because for it to have grown me into the person it's grown me into and what it continues to do.

Had I not had all those dark, crazy internal Courageous moments and moments that could have passed me by all the people I've impacted that we've impacted together. It never would have happened. So we have to embrace those moments and we need to actually sometimes want a few more of them because it helps us level up a lot faster when our backs against the wall like that.

I completely agree. And I think as I think about my own history and I think about My mom, right? So she has manic depression. She's had it since forever. She was a single mom, but there's so many inside the psych units, outside the psych units. And she told me, she said, Melissa, I do it for you. Like, and it's like, holy cow, like little me, like when I was like five, six, seven.

And what that did for me, just to give you perspective, cause I'm going to ask you about your daughter. But what that did for me was kind of like, I was like resilience. I was like. I eat that for breakfast. It's like that, that's who I am now. It's like, there's no one to tell me who I can talk to. Cause I've spoken to everybody I've needed to talk to.

And as a kid to survive. So what do you think this witnessing of you and how mommy's handling all these adversities and challenges, what do you think this is doing for your daughter? What do you anticipate? When she was three years old, I made some conscious decisions to start doing things in a way that were not normal.

And what I mean by that is traditionally not always looking at working for someone else. And I knew then that these years that she's walking into, I had a full circle moment last week when we had parents night for her high school, which is in a great district here in Houston. I fought like hell to make sure that that that vision never stopped.

And for me, it's not about her living vicariously, me living vicariously through her to the way that I would enforce these, these responsibilities on her back. But as a first gen myself, as well as her because of her father, it's a responsibility where we've been able to embrace and empower our family lineage and say, how can we honor what's been done for us?

And how can we take that even further? So my daughter, when I see her spirit, her character, her work. willingness to learn both traditional education and to be open to the wisdom and the real talks and the very deep talks at such a young age. It's, it's being put into action every day. And now with her eyes set on being the first kid, uh, the first person in our family to hit Ivy league, whether or not that's going to happen for her is ultimately up to her.

But it's, it's already happening and I'm so proud of her more every day. And I know that her seeing me, mommy in the hospital up and down those early years where she was in elementary school, it just makes me appreciate the people who were around her in those days from teachers to counselors, to some of our family and just people that really created that support system, despite the term single mom.

Yes. I did a lot of this on my own, but for her to. Have seen that witness it that strength is already embedded in her at the same time I feel blessed that God gave her to me in this time frame because a lot of the things that came out of her mouth While those years were happening Well, she was sent to me for a reason and those words were a lot of affirmation and things I needed in those moments where it got tough and she's a little Champion.

So I'll let her continue to define that in her own identity. But until then she knows character over anything else. And I'm, I'm really happy to see how that continues to unravel in her life. Yeah. And I, and I'm wondering as a business owner and a parent and a leader and, and, and advocate for Latinos, I mean.

How do you, how do you incorporate this, this notion of, of self care so that every day you give yourself a chance to get back up and do it again and then do it again and then do it again because it can't be like a runaway train, you know what I mean? So like, what sort of practical tips can you give someone that.

Also has chronic illness, but, but the vision and the dream is, is, is so freaking big that they have to keep going, but you've, there's gotta be something in check, you know? Yeah. It's interesting because I spoke to a thousand, uh, teens this, this Saturday and the same question came up without the health part in there.

They didn't know all of that. And they're like, mystery, what can I do? And the same exact question. And so I broke it down to them. I said, give me three things. And I was like, well, there's not just three, but What's helped me is, oh, and we hear it, but we need to really live in it. We need to submerge ourselves in it.

Gratitude, whether you're in a high or a low in that day to everyone listening to this with respect to what they believe. For me, my faith has grounded me through all things, especially since those days of my illness took over. I mean, it threw me into that in a whole different level, and I'm grateful to be able to pass some of those things on psychologically, physically, this.

Having to stay in this constant state of alignment really does help. So we can have weeks and months where we're great. For me in this season, I experienced a lot of flare ups. Those flare ups can come in so many different ways. When I say they're debilitating, it can be debilitating at times. I remember waking up last year out of my bed and I couldn't even walk on my feet every morning just because of the inflammation and chronic disruption from head to toe.

It's not always easy to kick flare ups out like that, especially when you do your best to do things holistically. Every morning I would wake up and every night I would go to sleep with gratitude, whether it was in tears, whether it was a productive day, we have to set that intention and keep that intention first.

And we have to mean it. We can't just say these things or look at a couple words and affirmations and just run through that. If you are not in love with your processes, it's time for you to fall back in love with your processes. And those processes have to be a formula that works for you. Now, I also mentioned that having a great state of like a stress maintenance in your life is so important.

And take it from me, you, you juggle all these things, whether you run businesses or not. We have to make sure that the way that we are understanding ourselves in each new season, stress management needs to be in there because if not, it's going to continue to make us sick because it does. We have constant things that are distracting us.

We have tech, we have the air quality going to crap every day. We have food working against us. We have family stress, emotional distress, COVID stress, all these things. And if there's nowhere to put it. There's no outlet. Yes, working out is a good stress reliever, but I'm talking about what works for you.

Is it writing it? Is it talking about it? Is it breathing techniques? Is it yoga? Is it music? Music is a great healing process or maintenance thing for me. There's, there's certain frequencies to music that help heal the body naturally. So there's so many different things that we need to find in that formula.

But for me, having a state of gratitude, making sure that each season, whatever I choose to be my stress maintenance, that I'm attaching it to my every single day. And then making sure that I'm staying around great people in this season of my life. I'm just not willing to put up with the things that are toxicities.

I'm just not willing to put up with the people and things that could try to intentionally or subconsciously pull me down. I don't have the capacity for it. And if anything, it makes me sick. So I've removed a lot of things that it's probably taken a decade for me to really get to this point where there's no people pleasing.

Elva says no more. Elva preserves her energy more. She makes sure she gets her rest more. She's not going to take any invitation to a social, because guess what? Her body and her mind need rest. And if we don't do those things, all of it will catch up to you. I promise. What is it that, that you wish someone who's listening to this, who is completely healthy, completely healthy, completely resourced, they have a dream in their heart, and they're just Scared as hell to jump and take a leap.

What do you want them to hear? Right now, and I just got chills as I heard you say that, you know, there are so many things that you can look up on Google to see what Elva's involved in, and there's a reason for that. A lot of the mentors that I follow, um, they're in stages of duplication. And to me, true success isn't just about hitting a mark financially or career wise or with family.

I can always tell someone who's successful because they, they, they know it's their responsibility at a certain point to pass that knowledge and wisdom down, to duplicate that into others and to, to keep that success rolling. There are some people who are not. as open and selfless to helping their community up.

That's okay. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do. But for those who feel like fortunate and that they've got some of those things together and they're, they're trying to make a leap into something unknown. We don't have the luxury right now in our society for everyone to not step up to their full potential and to be in their A game.

And when you're in an a game, it doesn't mean rigidly working your days and hours in the calendar like you're maximizing what you could be doing in those hours that requires taking a step back and really looking at how am I serving my. community, and how am I leaving an imprint in our society?

Accumulatively, because to be honest, at 38 years old, some of the things that I've done, yeah, they've been pretty cool. They, yeah, they've gotten some attention. Okay, great. The top 100 visionary in healthcare globally. Cool. Okay, great. The mayor's Hispanic Heritage Awards for community activism. Great.

Honestly, I feel bad that there's a lot of room at the quote unquote top that people feel this inspiration towards some of the things I've done because in my head I'm just over here waving my hand saying, Hey guys, you see me over here? I really need some help because you have the knowledge of this and you have the wisdom of this.

And we are leaving behind a tainted future for our children. We are in this, I'm in this generation where it's parents, health and getting older and children and looking at what we're leaving behind for them. Um, if you care about what's been given to you, whether it was in a great way or in you did it in spite of what wasn't given to you, we have to keep coming together to pour in and to lift up our communities.

We have to, there is no, any person can sleep. We can't afford that right now. And I just really want to inspire you that whatever is on the other side of that fear, once you take a step into courage and you commit yourself to always having courage to pursue those things that are whispering at you every single day.

Whatever is on the other side of that there is something that you have been Limiting your potential with because you just won't answer that call. So answer that call and take a step of courage because everything else you'll eventually figure out what to do with and how to do it. Thank you, Elva. So Elva, where can people continue to follow your journey and, and help you out?

How can they reach out to you? Well, for one, stay tuned on to this podcast because we know that she's going to continue to bring great people on trailblazers and people all over the world. As far as communication in this season, there's so many things that we are driving very, very strongly in our community.

So I've been warning everybody that the best form of communication is just my email. If you have a testimony or some, some sort of organization or anything that we can walk arms with, whether it be in Houston or some of the outside communities we're working with, We have our hearts set on some really big activism coming up this year in DC.

We've got a lot of things happening down here in Texas, which is the eighth largest economy in the world right now. There are so many displaced leaders, quiet, silent warriors who are looking for communities and people who can just understand them to lock arms with. Just email me info at championsclub.

global. I love connecting with pioneers. I mean, we're living in a history book every single day right now. So if it's not a connection to something, it could just be a, Hey girl, I see you across the country keep going. And if everyone tells you, you can't. Text me in a month and I'm going to tell you the same.

Keep going. Besides that, my Instagram and LinkedIn, Elva Trevino, Elva underscore Elva. I've been a little less quiet there the last 90 days or so, but it's because we're working really hard behind the scenes on some big things. So that's, that's pretty, the easiest way to get ahold of me and for. Most of the things that we've done, you can Google and kind of research some of the work that we've done, but we're just getting started.

And let me tell you, mistakes and making mistakes is a lot of a large part of that process. So if you're in a season that you're still trying to get some clarity, it's okay. I've been there too. And I promise you, I've gone through more challenges than most of you guys had. So if I can do this, so can you.

Thank you, Elva. No problem. You could feel Elva's. Enormous sense of urgency. And I want to really express these three thoughts to you. And I would encourage you to immediately think about them for yourself. The first one is who's relying on your efforts. Really have that person in mind. Every single time you feel like quitting.

The second is about community. Elva doesn't have to be thinking about other people. As a single parent, she has enough to think about for her daughter and of her business. But she wants to leave the world better off than she found it. And she's finding it within her to also want to impact the Latino community.

What about you? Might you want to impact your own community? Third one, what dream are you deferring? And why do you assume that you're going to be around forever in order to see it through its fullest execution? What dream are you deferring? This one hits home because Elva is facing death every single day and so are we.

Except we might not physically feel it. We might not be going to hospitals every single day. We might not be in physical pain every single day. But at the same time, life is risky too. And so with that I really hope that you feel inspired to do something, even a little thing for yourself today or your community or your loved ones, and really just take to heart the fact that even if you have a chronic illness, even if you feel, feel ill, there's a value to your story.

There really is. And that might be enough. So I hope you enjoyed this conversation. And I urge you share this with someone who's a working mom. With her own business, her own vision, who is experiencing a chronic illness today. Elva has the potential to really turn her life around.

Tune in to learn how to leverage the three pillars of positivity to build your success by Silicon valley entrepreneur and business strategy John Hagel III. Consider this THE change management guide for mom entrepreneurs. If you are exhausted by the fear, uncertainty, and emotional gunk of change then bookmark this conversation. My take is that John offers a fresh and much needed reframe (it's more than a reframe) to help us get more out of our business ideas.

Becoming an entrepreneur is an exciting venture. But when you're a mom juggling the demands of raising children while also launching a business, it can be a challenging journey fraught with fear and uncertainty. On an episode of Unimaginable Wellness, management consultant, author, and speaker, John Hagel, delves into his latest book, "The Journey Beyond Fear," and shares how mothers can harness their imagination to turn fear into an avenue for opportunity.

Hagel suggests that by unleashing the boundless potential of your imagination, you can navigate the psychology of change more efficiently. He points out that emotions, especially fear and excitement, have a profound impact on our actions. The trick, according to Hagel, is to shift our perspective of fear from being a threat to viewing it as an opening for growth.

This episode is brought to you by Fertile Imagination: A Guide For Stretching Every Mom's Superpower For Maximum Impact – My book is now available on Amazon in its paperback version and Kindle format. Grab a free chapter on www.fertileideas.com.

DM me on Instagram @melissallarena just type the word FERTILE and I'll share the link if that's easier to get to fertileideas.com for all the details you need to celebrate your own Fertile Imagination! Here's that link: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

About John Hagel

• John Hagel is a management consultant, author, and speaker with over 40 years of experience in his field. After retiring as a partner from Deloitte, he wrote his latest book "The Journey Beyond Fear," which addresses the psychology of change and how it can help people navigate through life changes. John is currently developing a series of programs to help people navigate change at various levels through his newly founded company, Beyond Our Edge.

• By harnessing your imagination and drive, you can shape your own narrative, focus on the future, and tap into the limitless potential of excitement and opportunity. This conversation provides mom entrepreneurs with practical tools and lessons to embark on a fulfilling entrepreneurial journey.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Exploring the power of imagination in overcoming fear and achieving success in entrepreneurship for mothers

• John Hagel, shares insights from his book "The Journey Beyond Fear". The discussion revolves around the psychology of change and its impacts on mothers in entrepreneurship.

• The relationship between fear and excitement is examined, highlighting how these emotions can either hinder or drive us towards success.

• John shares practical tools on how to shift our perception of fear from being a threat to an opportunity for growth.

• The power of personal narratives in shaping a more positive future and methods to optimize them

• The importance of rebuilding self-trust and granting ourselves permission to play

• Understanding how to stretch your imagination to achieve big goals and impact is explained.

• The crucial role of sustainability in maintaining long-term influence in entrepreneurship.

• Insights on the importance of curiosity, accountability, and shared excitement in achieving our ambitions are given.

• Tips on using your imagination and drive to craft a fulfilling journey as a mom entrepreneur are shared.

• Identifying common threads to guide personal narratives towards a more fulfilling future

• How to turn fear into an opportunity and drive for more significant impact

• The balance between passion and impact in entrepreneurship

• The power of positivity and optimism in overcoming challenges and resistance in entrepreneurship

• John's personal journey of changing his narrative at the age of 54

• The role of excitement in achieving limitless potential and a desire to connect with others

• The importance of shaping our own narrative and focusing on the future for sustained success

• Understanding the three stages of optimizing one's imagination for maximum impact, including rebuilding self-trust, granting permission to play, and stretching imagination to achieve goals

SHARE this episode with mothers who are entrepreneurs, aspiring to be, or anyone looking for strategies to shift their mindset from fear to opportunity.

Supporting Resources:

John's Book: https://www.johnhagel.com/book-the-journey-beyond-fear-by-john-hagel-iii/

Subscribe and Review

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About Fertile Imagination – www.fertileideas.com

You can be a great mom without giving up, shrinking, or hiding your dreams. There's

flexibility in how you pursue anything – your role, your lifestyle, and your personal and

professional goals. The limitations on your dreams are waiting to be shattered. It's

time to see and seize what's beyond your gaze. Let's bridge your childhood daydreams

with your grown-up realities. Imagine skipping with your kids along any path – you,

surpassing your milestones while your kids are reaching theirs. There's only one superpower versatile enough to stretch your thinking beyond what's been done before: a

Fertile Imagination. It's like kryptonite for impostor syndrome and feeling stuck when

it's alert!

In Fertile Imagination, you will awaken your sleeping source of creative solutions. If you

can wake up a toddler or a groggy middle schooler, then together with the stories in

this book – featuring 25 guests from my podcast Unimaginable Wellness, proven tools,

and personal anecdotes – we will wake up your former playmate: your imagination!

Advance Praise

"You'll find reality-based strategies for imagining your own imperfect, fulfilling

life in this book!" —MARTHA HENNESSEY, former NH State Senator

"Melissa invites the reader into a personal and deep journey about

topics that are crucially important to uncover what would make a mom

(and dad too) truly happy to work on...even after the kids are in bed."

—KEN HONDA, best-selling author of Happy Money

"This book is a great purchase for moms in every stage of life. Melissa is like a

great friend, honest and wise and funny, telling you about her life and asking you to

reflect on yours." —MAUREEN TURNER CAREY, librarian in Austin, TX

Welcome to episode 214. Feeling pulled in a million directions as a mompreneur? Juggling tasks, battling overwhelm, and chasing those next-level business goals seems like a constant tightrope walk. But what if you could harness the power of focus to turn your hectic days into laser-sharp productivity? In comes today's podcast guest Severine Naessens a seasoned entrepreneur and mother to a teenage daughter.

Say hi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

About Severine

Séverine is a mom, multilingual effective communications coach, consultant and trainer, university lecturer and keynote speaker. Born and raised in Belgium, she moved to Mexico at age 24, where she worked for the Belgian Consulate, built out a Digital Marketing company, and became a life coach and communications trainer, and consultant. Over the years she has participated as a lecturer for La Salle University in Cancún and as a speaker at different events that promote the development of women and responsible communication. She has also been a guest on various international podcasts and has been invited to Radio and Television shows throughout Mexico to speak about topics related to parenting, business communication, and female empowerment. Recently widowed, she decided to once again reinvent herself and moved back to her native Ghent with her teenage daughter, after having lived a fulfilled and exciting life in Mexico for 23 years. Tapping into all of the knowledge and experience she has gathered over the past decennia, she currently serves as lecturer on diverse and inclusive communication for the Artevelde University of Applied Sciences for the students of the bachelor's in international communication management. Besides teaching at the university, she is serves and supports high-achieving professionals in creating clarity and establishing responsible communication with their loved ones and teams alike. She does so by providing personalized consulting, training, conferences, workshops, mentoring and one-on-one coaching sessions to identify the obstacles and provide practical solutions out of the wide array of tools and insights she has gathered over the years.

Links for more information

Instagram @coachseverinenaessens

https://www.facebook.com/CoachSeverineNaessens/

Websites

https://www.severinenaessens.com

https://www.highachievingparents.com

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/severinenaessens

About Melissa the host of Unimaginable Wellness

Hi there! I'm Melissa, an executive coach empowering mompreneurs. Tired of imposter syndrome holding you back? I help moms like you transform that doubt into fuel for success. Feeling overwhelmed? Let's nip that bud together and unlock your productivity superpowers. And forget chasing milestones solo - I'll show you how to leverage the magic of networking to reach those seemingly distant goals for your business. Because with the right connections, anything is within reach for a mompreneur. So, ready to ditch the overwhelm, amplify your voice, and take your business to the next level? Let's get started! Say hi on Instagram and I'll send you gift via a link to a free chapter of my bestseller Fertile Imagination: A Guide for Stretching Every Mom's Superpower for Maximum Impact: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Additional links:

How to get unstuck in your business quiz? https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/64fb50ebd9dce900148cdff8

Mom Mogul Webinar Replay: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a

Schedule a free breakthrough 30-minute call: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/

TRANSCRIPT

Melissa. This is impromptu. Love it. Yes,

Severine: I love it too. I appreciate you having me. I've been following your journey and I'm super excited about everything that's going on and everything that you're sharing with the world. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for doing that. All the moms, all the mompreneurs, we can use that piece of advice and yeah, that backing voice going, you're doing all right, girl, doing it. All right. So happy to share this space with you.

Melissa: Thank you. Thank you, ine. So why don't you share a little bit about yourself and then also in terms of your motherhood stage, because I have little boys and my twins are 10 and 10, and my eldest is 12, but I'm at a different stage than you, so that can be included in your little about cine portion.

Severine: Well, about me, I was born and raised in Gant Belgium, a wonderful medieval city, which I left at age 24 because I moved to Cancun, Mexico. Quite a bit of a difference there. I did that straight after I graduated from university as a business translator, and I went out to venture for a good six month sabbatical, which turned into 23 years of building up a life in Cancun, Mexico. I absolutely adore the country, the people, the food, the whole thing, the culture. And as I was in Mexico, I developed into a communications coach, trainer and consultant. That being said, it's not about marketing, but it's about interpersonal communication, and I've been able to also put a focus on diverse and inclusive communication as I've been asked by the university to create courses on that for the students on international communications management. So it's full. I'm coming full circle, leaving school, I went out into the world, learned from the world, learned from the experience of being married to a Mexican wonderful man, the father of my daughter, who is now 16.

Severine: So we're in the midst of our teens. It's all good. We are having a great time, wonderful relationship. I've been able to build up with Iati as I have learned to communicate as a mom. So it's like the full package of becoming a communications coach is thanks to the struggles I had with my four-year-old child back in the day when her dad and myself, we split up. So I learned to communicate, and that comes with a lot of breaking of patterns, a lot of breaking of paradigms, and shifting into a healthier relationship based on clear effective communication, respectful communication specifically. So I've been able to take that entire experience and now I can share that with other moms, with other dads, with other leaders as such, because as moms and dads, we lead our families and in business, we lead our teams. So pretty much the same from a communication standpoint.

Severine: So I'm really blessed that I can bring my passion for communication to the world and do that professionally. I get a lot of fulfillment out of sharing this with others and guiding others into a better communication, better relationship with the people around them. So that's in a nutshell, and I've come back to Belgium after 23 years in Mexico. We've been here for a good year and a half. It's been a challenge to readapt to my own culture, and I think you can relate after being away from the US for quite a while and then coming back. That story of becoming immigrants and then reintegrating into your own culture brings a lot of struggles, but a lot of interesting wisdom as well. So it's been quite the journey.

Melissa: Yeah, I mean it's interesting because then it's different cultures, different languages, different, and when I think about, let's say from a Spanish language and Spanish that's so generic because I don't know, I guess Mexican or even the precise province where you were in Mexico culture, I'm pretty sure that your experience coaching leaders has been quite varied, and I am sure as far as the way that you've had to adapt as a mom, entrepreneur has been just as rich in terms of the different things that you've had to incorporate in your practice and how you are as a mom for some time, and in terms of just a daughter and being a single mom, right? I'm sure it's shaped a bit of how you've organized yourself. And so in terms of your background and in terms of your journey as an entrepreneur, I'm very, very curious about how you have bubble wrapped your sanity through the different stages of motherhood. But then I'm super curious if you just shared a bit of what was going on during those moments as an entrepreneur. So maybe early on setting the foundation or when you had a change or disruption in childcare, curious how you decided to bubble wrap your sanity. I think that would be so valuable for other moms.

Severine: Obviously it has grown a lot and I've learned a lot over these past 16 years. In the very beginning, I was miserable. In all honesty. It was hard because I was running a digital marketing company at the time, excuse me, and at that time I was doing full-time job as a leader, as a business owner. That's a 24 7 thing, and then you become a mom, and that's another 24 7 thing that comes along and struggling. I had a lot of struggles figuring out when to do what I mean as a baby. She was with me in her crib next to me in the office. I mean, I was carrying the kid along with me. Luckily, I got into decent and good daycare very early on. So I was able to hand her over to the experts on childcare, and I go into my office and do my thing, but it was hard to incorporate the motherhood into the professional me.

Severine: I'm very driven and I can get very laser focused on working, and I would forget I have a child. I mean, it happened that I forgot to go to daycare to pick her up because I was so focused on working. I had totally zoned out on the motherhood part, and I would get a call, ma'am, already 6:00 PM we closed at four. Is everything okay? It's like, oh, shoot, okay. I'm on my way on those little things. After a while that I came to the understanding that I needed to rearrange everything that I was doing, and that's where I learned about focus management and focus management has been through the years I've become more and more proficient in, it has been a life raft for me to bubble wrap my focus, and I will schedule walks into my calendar. I will schedule everything that has to do with my child into my calendar and plan my focus for work around that.

Severine: And that has helped me to bring my child, my family as a priority, but not dropping my professional activities because I am who I am and I keep going. So I think focus management has been the key for me to learn to be present when I'm working. I'm present working. When I'm with my child, I am present as a mom, even though those chunks of time, not necessarily, they're not necessarily large chunks of time, especially now as a teenager, that kind of stretches out into two adults cohabiting because 16 is almost adult and she has become very independent, which I am super grateful for. So it has keeps changing over time. But I do try and I say try because sometimes I do fail at that to be very, very present with my focus. So focusing is one thing that did help me kind of get out of that mayhem that was going on because motherhood as a professional and motherhood in all forms can be mayhem because there's a lot going on. Whatever it is that you do, whether you're a stay at home mom, because that's a 24 7 job as well, whether you're a professional, whether you're an independent, whether you're a freelancer, whether you're a public person, it doesn't matter. Mayhem happens when you have kids around.

Severine: So finding a way of dealing with everything and having that clarity of what is needed so you can set your priorities has helped for me to work my way through motherhood, and then those terrible first two years, that was really, really hard for me to adapt to motherhood. I mean, I can adapt in any professional situation like that because I've got quite some experience, but as a mom, it was very new and it was very hard because it's never what you've expected. You think motherhood's going to be something, and then you become a mom and it's completely different, nowhere near what you thought it would be because all our kids have their own personalities, they have their own needs, and it's a lot of impromptu stuff going on. So yeah, learning to be flexible, that has also been, I mean, the flexibility factor of motherhood I think is key as well, to understand that you will have to be flexible at certain times because things happen with kids and allowing yourself to step out of the rigidity of an agenda and working. And that's why working with focus management has helped me because I'm stepping away from time management

Severine: Because knowing that I need a block of focus for a certain task, I can move that block of focus around in my agenda, but I know I need to focus on a specific task, so I'm not stuck to, oh, from that time to that time, I need to do this because if something happens, I am flexible to move things around. So that has been a couple of the key things for me.

Melissa: The way that you bubble wrap. So my question just because, let's see, here's where it's really hard for me, and maybe other listeners can appreciate this or listeners can appreciate this idea of focus management for me, let's imagine I say, okay, three hours, I don't know when or where on my calendar this moment, but for three hours I'm going to write one email, and I know it might sound like, that's crazy, Melissa, three hours for an email, no joke. Sometimes an email will take me three hours. Okay, so there's the three hours. I put them on a Monday and I have them from 8:00 AM when my kids are in school until whatever, three hours later, right? 8, 9, 10, 11:00 AM not a problem. I'm sitting down, I'm typing away. I'm like, yeah, I got this. Then the school calls me 10:00 AM in the middle of the fricking email as I'm actually putting it together and it says, oh, your kids stepped on poop on the way to school. You might want to spare them from embarrassment. I literally got a call like this and bring them a second pair of sneakers or whatever, or trainers, depending on the country that you're in.

Melissa: How in your history have you thought about those interruptions of your focus? Because that's a chunk, right? So you just said as my example, that's three hours. Here's a block. So then what do you do in that moment? What do you do? What did you do as an example?

Severine: I would evaluate, first of all, how urgent is the situation? I mean, speaking about needing a decent pair of sneakers, I would ask the teachers, are you able to wash them on the spot? Is there a solution you can do without needing me to go to the school? I think there would be some kind. I mean, in this case, if your child is fallen off a tree, falling out of a tree and hurt their head and they need to go to the hospital, obviously you drop everything in that instant and you go, that's a non-negotiable. Leave everything and go mom situation. But in your situation, I would just ask, okay, is this very urgent? What time do you need to be there at school? And I would say, yes, I will bring a pair of sneakers when I pick 'em up at noon, and that would be for me, the end of the phone call and I would go back to focusing on what I was doing.

Melissa: So for me, it's hard to then get back into that focus point. Are there, it's

Severine: The being disrupted.

Melissa: Yeah, because sometimes my experience has been like, I'll get angry. So a lot of moms, for example, they'll say something like, and it depends on their situation. They've complained about this notion of default parenting. So let's just imagine it's two parents and it's always the mom that gets that call. So there's also this emotional residue that I might now bring back to this fricking email. So I'm trying to be really, really practical based on what literally happened to me. So I'm just wondering, okay, so now being skilled in focus management, what might be one tip, actionable tip that a mom can employ when her focus is broken due to an interruption like the one I shared?

Severine: I'm going to speak for myself and share what works for me. I cannot speak for you or anybody else, but what works for me is whenever I'm pulled out of my focus for whatever reason, first and foremost, I try to plan my focus moments smaller. I will break a big task up into subtasks, for example, in your case, a big email that needs a lot of investigation. And because if it takes three hours, it means that you're looking up stuff and you're picking things out of different angles and you're crafting something. So I would break that project up into smaller chunks so that I can work in pieces of maybe half an hour, an hour at a time. If for whatever reason in the middle of a focus moment, I am interrupted by an emergency or by something because first and foremost, when I am focusing, I will put my phone away and the only phone calls that can come through are from my family and from school.

Severine: So if that happens, which is a very small chance, if that does happen, I evaluate the situation, I look at the urgency of the situation and I see, do I need to act now and leave everything as it is and go If yes, I do so, and there's not much you can do about that. If it's not a huge emergency, can somebody else take care of it? Can I count on somebody around me? In your case, it could be your husband. In my case, it could be my brother, for example, or my mom. If I could ask them to step in and take care of the situation, that's the second thing. And then the third thing to go back to my focus, I will get up, walk around, do a breathing exercise and set my mind back on the focus. But I literally get out of my chair because I can understand the feeling of frustration. I was on a roll and they interrupted me, and it's like, I can't get back into it. Just snap out of it if need be. Go outside for a little, walk five minutes, come back, breathe, drink some water, sit down and continue. That's what works for me to get back into my just snap out of whatever is troubling me and to get back into the focus.

Melissa: That makes a lot of sense. And I think anyone that's listening is going to totally appreciate the fact that you also said that you break up the task into smaller steps, but then on top of that, the time that you allot to them is way smaller. So it's kind of like you're setting up the game so that you win. It's like, how can I make this favorable? So I'm sitting here, I can't control outside factors or the world, so how can I make it so that today or this moment is going to feel like a success? And being super honest, I haven't done that in a lot of instances. So there's so many different frames of thought that I have read. For example, Cal Newport Deep Work, his book is about having extraordinary deep, deep focus in big increments of time. And it's interesting because while that might work for someone that does not have to take care of their kids, I have three kids.

Melissa: Each kid is a variable. We're talking exponential potential for interruptions in the course of a day. But point of the matter is, I think what you just said, for me at least, and anyone that's listening, I would love to hear your thoughts, what you're getting out of C'S wisdom. But for me it's like, okay, there might be many ways that you can, what is it? Slice up an onion, an apple, whatever. But if you're a mom, I think it's really important to understand, depending on what your kid needs from you, it's important for you to tailor what's going to make you feel like you have the greatest chance of success. To be honest, you don't want to end your day looking at your to-do list and saying, and again, I didn't get through it.

Severine: And that's the main idea. If you do work with a to-do list, and I have for many, many years, and I tend to go to to-do list for certain things, but I always make it bite-size, make the task. So you get to tick off a whole bunch of things on the list because that makes mean it's a human thing to tick things off and feel good about it. It's like that little spread of, yay, I did it, and if the yay I did, it means that I don't know you were able to read 10 pages in a book. That's great. I mean, I've got a whole stack of books I need to read, and I'm being gentle on myself setting smaller goals. I'm a big goal girl. I love big goals and I love big challenges, but I always break 'em up into smaller pieces so it's manageable and I can shift away and be flexible if needed.

Severine: But I always, obviously you need the discipline to get back to what it is that needs to be done. No use for you to break up a huge project into 10 bite-sized pieces and not start, you have to go tackle piece number one to move on to piece number two and be disciplined in making sure that over, for example, you set your goals for the week, but you're flexible on moving things between Monday and Tuesday, for example. It's not, flexibility is not from, oh yeah, I'll do it next month. It's being disciplined and having those goals, but being reasonable and taking into account all those factors that can interrupt. I mean, life will happen with kids, it certainly does. So there always may be something impromptu. And also one of the main things I want to share is make sure you plan for me time. One of the things that I've seen as a mom, and I did that in the beginning as well, is I would forget about me. It would be the kid and work the kid and work the kid and work. They didn't work. And then, oops, I have a husband.

Severine: So I would start planning a little bit of meet him because unfortunately my marriage did break and we didn't make it past four years with her in it. We spent 10 years together. But one of the reasons was I was so focused on work, work, work, work, work, and also, oops, the kid, the kid that I had forgotten. I had a husband. My marriage went down to drain because there was no time to focus on that. There was no way for me to manage all things together. But anyway, it is what it is and it was all good. And that is something that in my later marriage and my second marriage, I did plan on spending quality time with myself, quality time with friends. And it's not that I would see my friends every day, every week. It would be maybe once a month, but it would be quality time because that as well as a woman, as a mom, like they say, it takes a village to raise a kid or kids, and it also takes a village to support each other and building your village, having your support system there for you to listen and to speak with and to have fun, got to be something fun in there.

Severine: Doing that also helps balance out everything else, specifically me. Time, time with friends and time with your partner. If you have a partner is super important so that you can fill up your cup to then give it to the kids. You can't run on empty, right? Because if our car runs low on gas, we go get gas. Or if it's an electric one, you plug it in. But we forget to plug ourselves in to that source of joy, that source of energy that is our friends, our family, our spouses, and have some decent me time to recover. So you can keep pouring into the kids' cups.

Melissa: Agreed completely. And I think it's interesting because for me, I feel like, okay, I hear that message, I hear that message, I hear that message. It's exactly the same idea in terms of nutrition and health and dieting and exercising. I've heard that message, I've heard that message, I've heard that message. But I want anyone that's listening right now to just look at her calendar right now today and just see, did you put anything that is going to be remotely fun or restful for yourself today? Absolutely. That's something that's like undeniable because if it's not on the calendar, oftentimes it doesn't get done. So that for me is a huge, huge point of advice for anyone that's listening, that's like a quick little check mark. And you know what? If you do have something on your calendar, then put a check mark there so you get that high that Severine was talking about because that counts too. That is totally just as important ing. Where can listeners find you, learn more about you and send you a dmm if they got value out of this conversation.

Severine: You can find me on LinkedIn with my name, nonsense. I'll share all the links with you as well as well on Instagram, coach ens and on Facebook, same thing, coach ens. It's easy to go find, and right now my website has been translated into Dutch, so for the English speakers, it won't be much value on that website unless you want to learn Dutch. Come on over ine na.com. We'll be back online in English later this year. But for now, social media is the easiest to reach out and send me a dm and I'm always open for a talk.

Melissa: Thank you, Severine

Severine: Pleasure.

Melissa: Severine is so generous. I wanted to just share with you three points that I know you can apply immediately to your life and feel way less overwhelmed. Point number one, chunking down your projects, chunk them down, almost making it as if it's impossible for you not to be productive in that increment of time. So what does that mean? For example, as pivoting was saying, if you're going to write an email and there's different elements to this email, such as the research phase or the writing phase, maybe chuck it down so that this way you're only spending 30 minutes on researching during one point of time on your calendar. Really being generous with yourself as far as giving yourself ample time to accomplish that one thing, but setting yourself up to win is key. The second point is really about making sure that you are absolutely giving yourself some grace.

Melissa: If you are a new mom or if you will become a mom, you need to understand that you have no idea what is ahead. I think Cine said it best. Nobody really knows what it's like to be a mom until you are a mom. So this uncertainty, the same uncertainty you might feel if you're making an investment in your business. Think about it, magnified 10 times as a mom because the stakes are that much higher because it's your child. It is a piece of your heart, so give yourself grace because you do not know what's ahead. And that is, again, why being nimble, which as an entrepreneur, you must be as a mom. It's just like this non-negotiable characteristic that anyone who has been a mom has had to embrace. Third point is the following. Reach out to your girlfriends who are mom entrepreneurs. You can share this episode with them and use it as your excuse to reconnect with a mom, entrepreneur.

Melissa: A lot of us need connection. This conversation with Cine really originally started as a check back in get back in touch conversation on a Saturday morning for me. But I wanted to then really capture ING's wisdom for you, and it became a podcast reconnect with your mom, entrepreneur, friends. I think it is so important you can create connection opportunities for you all the time, and that is something that I wanted to just point out. Cine is an amazing person. She's ahead of me in terms of her motherhood journey and her business journey, and it is for that reason that I will say this conversation is going to help me very specifically as I plan out my upcoming week, I'm going to chunk down my projects even more aggressively. Hope you have the best day ever. Share this episode with your mom, entrepreneur, friends, and reach out to me on Instagram.

Melissa: I want to hear from you. What about this conversation really landed. I'm at Melissa Laina, Emelia ssa, L-L-A-R-E-N-A. This information will be in the show notes. I appreciate you immensely. Have the best day. Reach out to me on Instagram. I want to hear from you. I want to be sure that I'm putting content out there that is going to apply to your life and is going to help you feel sensational and just more focused and clear on what needs to happen so that you can build the biggest business of your dreams, have the most impact, and still be a present mother.

Welcome to Episode 213. Are you a mom entrepreneur who struggles with impostor syndrome, wants to nip overwhelm in the bud, wishes to realize the power of networking and/or wants to turn her business and mom life AROUND in 2024? If yes then hit PLAY.

Say hi to me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

This is a recording from my free webinar that I conducted on January 9th, entitled Mom Mogul Makeover. You'll hear how you can put the insights enclosed in my bestselling book Fertile Imagination into action as a mom with a business. This conversation goes beyond any expected insights on productivity, goal-setting, and motherhood. It's for moms who seek a fresh perspective that's plugged into reality. It's also perfect for you if you know entrepreneurship is the journey you wish to pursue wholeheartedly for more than three years. Oh, also listen to the end, there is a free opportunity for those listening until the end exclusively for moms with their own businesses.

To take advantage of that opportunity here is the link: https://www.melissallarena.com/sessions/. This link is for you to secure your free 30-minute breakthrough call with me, which I will invite you to at the end of this webinar. You'll hear me reference it.

As further context, this webinar is focused on the game changing five insights that have helped catapult me into success which I want for you too in 2024. So please enjoy the conversation, enjoy the webinar, and let me know if you have any questions. You can ask me your questions on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ And yet another reason to go to Instagram is that I'd love to know who got value out of this; let me know you are here so I can see who's listening ti keep you in mind as I'll be running future drawings for listeners. Thank you so much.

TRANSCRIPT

Hello there. My name is Melissa Llarena and I'll share with you my little bio a little later on, but I wanted to just be sure that we are optimizing this time as we are moms in the thick of it.

Even if you're a mom who has. Her kid is an adult. You're still in the thick of it because you still care with all your heart and soul. And so this is time away from them, but it's time on you and your business. And so I honor that. And I respect that. And I just want to invite you to really pour into yourself during this webinar.

Take what feels is going to serve you in 2024 and really consider how you will embody some of these insights. So that 2024 is. As successful as you, as you deserve it to be. So this presentation, I'm just going to jump into it again. I will introduce myself later on, but I just want to be sure that I optimize our time together.

So mom mogul makeover. The makeover is really going to be about mindset shifts that you will want to reflect upon. And flip so that they work in your favor. So I'm going to share with you the five lips, and it's really going to be important. If you've ever struggled with imposter syndrome, or you have felt overwhelmed, or you don't feel like you have the right connections to catapult your business success.

So here we go. Here's the plan. So M. R. O. Y. What is that? I will share with you. I want to also share with you a little bit of what might be going on in your psyche just to see if any of this lands. Then we'll go through the real problem as well as who I am. I promise I would tell you. And then we'll go one by one through the five mindset shifts.

And then at the end, you'll be able to make a decision for yourself. I really like new vocabulary, but I'm not so into equations, but this is my equation. And this is something that I'm sure you have considered. So for a mom, it's not just about investing money and energy and time in her business, but it's also coming at a cost of you being away from your kids.

Also, it comes at a cost in terms of just the psychic energy that you have and the bandwidth that you're able to leverage at any given time, all of that to say, again, that's why this is 20 minutes and not 45 minutes. So what I think about when I think about what success means to a mom, I don't think about just an ROI.

I really do think about a mom's ROI and I see them as completely different. And I also, if you've ever worked in a corporate setting, I also want you to consider that if you have ever asked for a raise, you are not just thinking about your ROI, but your mom ROI. And it's not just tangible like childcare expenses.

It's also the fact that you're not with your kid and you miss them. Okay. So that is why this is 20 minutes. Moving on. Can you relate? And as I go through these, I want you to really think about 2023 and if you've ever experienced some of these ideas, have you ever felt intimidated, yet crazy excited about an outrageous business idea that you never pursued?

A realistic, outrageous idea. So not something like putting someone on Mars, but an idea that you thought to yourself, holy cow, like if I could pull that off, I would be so thrilled and excited, and I might even have what it takes to pull it off, but maybe I'm not ready yet, or I need a lot more resources in order to pull it off.

Have you ever had something like that happen to you? Has imposter syndrome ever caused you to opt for smaller steps when a bigger step was available? And here's the thing, we want to achieve a lot in a small amount of time. And so this could be seen as self-sabotage. But has it ever happened to you that it's been imposter syndrome?

And you knew that you could take a big leap, but you decided to just go baby steps ahead instead. What about overwhelm? Is that like your go to emotion when you can't complete your to do list, maybe due to an interruption? What about this one? And this one I've heard consistently from clients. Have you ever felt disappointed because you couldn't push yourself hard enough to bring your best self to your business or your kids, or have you ever not networked because it felt like you're being needy or maybe it just felt awkward?

Or embarrassing, like you're going to say the wrong thing or put your foot in your mouth or sounds silly. Like you just didn't know enough. And here's the last one. Is it hard for you to articulate your secret sauce as a professional? Because maybe you don't want to set up expectations too high because you know your shit would be one reason.

Or you don't want to let others know the real you. Like there's something there that you don't think is as professional or qualified. So you don't want to reveal something about yourself that's still relevant, but feels a little too sensitive. Okay. Last one. Do you secretly punish or beat yourself up by overworking because you feel that you should be much further along in terms of your business goals?

And this one is a hard one because it's celebrated, right, by society. Working hard, busting your ass, going above and beyond for clients. But could this be the reason why? So while all of that feels heavy and some of that feels relevant, and maybe there's one of those things that was the reason why you're here, I want to just share that there is good news on the other side of this.

Like those are just symptoms. The real problem is that you haven't made what I call the shifts. Okay. And so here's what happens once you make these five shifts that I'm going to share with you in a bit. You will have an opportunity to cast a bigger vision than you have ever cast it for yourself before as a business professional.

You're going to confidently seek shortcuts and straight paths to achieve your five year goals in one and pardon the language, turn imposter syndrome into your own bitch. I know that's so bad by taking bigger steps than those smaller ones. Okay. You will have greater self-awareness to identify when it's you who's making things harder for yourself versus the stories about being a good mom or a successful business owner.

There's so many reasons things feel way harder for us, depending on where you are in your life stage as a mom and as a business owner too. And you will feel comfortable sharing and showcasing your secret sauce. You're going to feel good about your uniqueness. You're not going to feel like standing out is like a terrible thing to do.

You're going to feel good about using your superpowers and telling people what they are. And you're also going to have a tool, an unexpected tool to help you enjoy the process of motherhood and growing your business. And if you've been around the block a couple of times, you have to enjoy the process in order to keep going along the process.

Tenacity is not just something that I grin and bear. It's something that I have to embody and I have to make it enjoyable for me. I would not be here for 12 years if it has not been enjoyable. So who the heck is this person with the hat? So here's the thing. I'm a normal human being. I just want to say that because as I wrote my book this year, fertile imagination, and it became a number one bestseller in two categories, mother and women in business.

I had to take a step back myself and just reevaluate, like, who am I, why am I so blessed? What is it about me that really is drawn to serve you, mom entrepreneurs? And so I wanted to just share just a couple of highlights. But again, I am a very normal mom, but I will say that I do have a particular switch turned on, which I will absolutely share with you.

Okay, so I mentioned it before bestselling author of fertile imagination host of a podcast called unimaginable wellness And here's my specialty It's helping ambitious moms really confidently put themselves out there right to achieve their meaningful business goals Meaningful is a really important word to me.

Otherwise I could stay in corporate and make a lot of money in corporate. But if I can help you do something that's meaningful to you, your family society, then we all have one. And here's the thing as moms, we have such a rough terrain emotionally in terms of both of our roles, both as businesswomen and as moms.

And in order to achieve anything that's difficult, you have to keep going during the ups and downs. And emotionally, you can totally self-sabotage. You can totally be slowed down if you let yourself be completely barraged by the emotional realities of both being an entrepreneur, which has very high expectations and a mom, which has very high expectations, both of which are very important to you.

I've worked in a lot of places. So, all this to say. There's a Swiss army knife perspective that I bring to the world and to any client, whether you are in one vertical, in one country, or you have one child or multiples, I most likely have a very specific approach and framework that can help you. And we can tailor.

I have degrees. Two of them here, but after I pursued my education because I wanted to be a good girl and in the eyes of my parents, I pursued more education because I wanted to be a good mom. And good coach. So I do have a coaching certificate and I am becoming a meditation practitioner and I'm a mom. I have been for 12 years, which parallels the length of time that I have also owned a business, a coaching practice.

So everything that I'm going to share with you is based on firsthand experience, and it's also based on client experience, having worked with working moms and also working dads, which is interesting how you don't hear that phrase too often, for a very long time and through very different economic cycles, the good, the bad, the middle.

So this is who I am, and I've been featured in a lot of things. What I want to just say in terms of all of these credentials and all of these features is this Everything that I've pursued it has not been on everyone else's timeline For example being featured in the wall street journal I believe that was like year two or for example getting a degree at nyu or getting one at business school It was done.

So in a way that I had to earn my degrees and earn full rides to them. So everything that I've done has been things through the work of angels, which I will share with you in a bit, but I promise I'll keep this grounded and useful for you, a working mom. So here's the thing. The five shifts they come to me from completely Various experiences I've had in my life and in my career, and really, they are the keys to accelerating any goal that is meaningful to you.

And again, I say that word over and over because I could say that I want to make seven figures. But I got to be honest, it's not meaningful enough, but if I say I want to build a treasure trove of networking contacts for my three little boys, so that this way, when they have a business idea, when they grow up, I have someone to refer them to, that means something to me.

And that's also why my podcast has amazing guests. So here's the five shifts. Alrighty, a crazy goal can keep you sane. I know this sounds opposite and these shifts are all meant to really have you think, is she crazy? And that's okay. I'm totally, totally okay with that. So this is one out of five, a crazy goal can keep you sane.

I recall there were several opportunities in my business where I could have gone for incremental lift in my business in terms of sales goals, or I could have gone for the expected next distribution channel, creating a product for like, I don't even know. 49 or something, but that was totally rational, but not emotionally driven.

It wasn't enough to be like, yeah, I'm going to skip nighttime reading with my three little boys in order to go after building a 29 product, like it just didn't do it for me, but what did keep me going and made me way more sane during a rough patch of my motherhood experience was going after a crazy goal.

So quickly, here's the goal. The goal that I pursued was launching a podcast and having Gary Vaynerchuk, who has millions of people that follow him, and James Altucher on my podcast. That is a crazy ass goal. The reason why it kept me going was because I decided for a hundred days to write a thousand words every day, and I don't know if it all adds up mathematically, but a thousand words or so a day on Medium.com in order to get their attention. Every single day. That was the choice that I made. Let me write this out so that this way I could get either of them on my podcast. Right? These are entrepreneurs. These are multimillionaires. These are people that are above my weight category. That was the most exciting thing and exciting time for me in my life.

And I will say that when I would then wake up my little boys in the morning to go to school or to go to pre care, whatever, I was the world's most excited mom. And it kept me going. It energized me. Had I said, I want to sell this HR screening toolkit product. For 29. 99 and have a million people buy it, if that was my goal, I think I would have been toast.

And so it's the opposite, but it's an insight that if you embody it, if you know emotionally what's going to pull you, and if you take it to, if you take it to the bank and you really execute on it, then it will absolutely keep you sane and happier than a boring run of the mill goal. And that's the reason why a lot of the things that would have taken me five years or forever Didn't take me five years or forever and they made me a happier person ultimately So yes, I got Gary v on my podcast.

I got James alerted on my podcast It took about a hundred days 67 000 words. I did count But damn, is it a story and it was in my book too, and I wrote it in my book Okay. So that's the first shift. Okay. If you don't get this right, you are not going to feel as energized. You will feel drained. It would have felt draining for me to say, let me sell this HR screening toolkit product to a million people.

And I literally have the product in my store, but it's just not as exciting to me. Next one, imposter syndrome is an asset. You might think to yourself, how is this an asset? Well, you have to make a decision to use it as an asset. And if it's been your habit for decades to see it as a sign that you should like step back or warning that there's something that could happen to you, maybe you're acting beyond your years of experiencing, if that has been your habit.

Then it is going to take work in order to flip it on its head. You're going to have to learn how to actually feel imposter syndrome in your body and take the opposite action. When I interviewed the CEO of giving Tuesday, Asha Quran, she herself said, whenever she felt like an imposter, she would then be Fierce, like totally fierce pursuing that particular task or situation.

That is not the normal sort of approach, but we're not going for ordinary results. We're going for extraordinary results because as a mom. This operating in sprints is something that you have to embody. As an example, I had a holiday break. My children had holiday break and I couldn't work consistently, persistently towards one goal.

I had to like pack it up in a particular timeframe and then basically just go at it in a sprint. Same thing here. So imposter syndrome can be used as an asset. It can be taught for you to use it as an asset, and if you don't use it as an asset. What's going to happen is you're going to feel really insecure, not just about approaching someone that is famous or asking someone for a big sale, but you're going to feel insecure about your story.

You're going to feel insecure about the good, the bad, the ugly about your narrative as a business owner. And chances are that narrative. Has your secret sauce that where I came from, what I've done to get here that has your secret sauce. And if you don't feel that you can share this sometimes vulnerable message with other people, no one's going to know anything about it.

And you're going to sound just like every other person out there who has this amazing way of adding value to someone else's life and just using the same language at that. So turning. Imposter syndrome into an asset is essential and it has to be practiced. And if it's a habit that you've had using it as a stop sign, it needs a lot of practice and guidance too.

Cause we could pretend that we're using it as an asset, but if we're not taking demonstrable action, you're not going to get the numbers you need at the end of 2024. Third one. Okay. Network and share half baked ideas. This one is intimidating. Let me explain why. So let's imagine that you're networking with someone and you're in the beginning of a business idea.

Some thoughts might pop up in your head. They're going to steal my idea or they're going to think I'm silly or I'm sharing something and really I should wait until I have it complete. Well, here's the thing. And this is going back to what I mentioned earlier, angels. This is so weird, but I'm going to share this first time in the history of share this.

I believe, I believe that there are angels out there that have accomplished what you want to accomplish. And in 2024, it is your business to find those people network with these people and tell as many of many people. You're half baked ideas so that this way, a, you're not as fully invested in the wrong idea.

And then B you get people who want to join you on your journey and help you. For me, how did I become a bestseller in terms of fertile imagination? Well, here's the thing. I decided to attend a podcast conference last year in Colorado, and I decided to make it my business to talk to as many people as humanly possible.

And this was during a casual interaction that I approached this lady, chewing on a big conference, yummy sandwich, aka those sandwiches are not very yummy. And I remember telling her, I've got a book, I'm writing it, and I don't know what the heck to do. And I was really, really forthcoming. She happens to be the president of the Chicago Marketing Association.

And she has her own podcast and all of that more than that. She took a liking to me and she shared with me, gave me on a silver platter, a plan. This is how you become a bestseller. That plan was meant for 25 people to execute. I am one human being and I have a virtual assistant, but she took a liking to me and she helped me become a bestseller.

What does that mean? I promise you that there are rules to the game that you're playing in your vertical. I promise you that someone else has figured out what to do. And, and sequentially at that, this person gave me the plan in a way that if I, if I organized it in another way, I would have been ineffective and unable because it was meant for 25 people network and share half baked ideas.

Yes. You will be vulnerable. Yes. You will be looking less. I don't even know prepared, then you want to feel, but honestly, it's better to be less prepared and have someone give you feedback early on an ideas journey. Then later on when you're totally invested and it happens to be the wrong idea. So this is about seeking angels and I'm calling it that because this has been a consistent pattern in my life.

And it's something that I believe in with all my heart and all my soul. And I will tell my children to do as well. So that's the third point out of five. And if you don't do this in a way that's strategic in a way that is consistent and in a way that unpacks value, when you network with individuals in a generous and authentic and bilateral way, then you're going to miss the whole point.

Because that person that helped me, I helped her to that person who helped me. I know her son wants to work with the Green Bay Packers. I'm not a football person, but that's in my head. And if I find someone that's in that organization, you sure bet that I'm going to mention her son. So it's not about using people or just transactions.

It's about having people in your heart and in your mind for the rest of your life, and they will do the same for you. And that's how you can speed up the process. And if you have a meaningful business goal on your heart, that matters. Third point, fourth one. Playing is profitable. So oftentimes as moms, we think about playing as a to do that happens after you do all your to do's.

And while I appreciate the sentiment because I was there, what I will say is that your results will look very different if you played before versus if you held your breath until you had the time to play. And oftentimes you don't play, right? It's almost like, let my partner play with the kids. Let someone else play with the kids.

Mommy's got to get this or that done. Right? And if you are unaware, playing can be so profitable. And this comes from a podcast guest, Beth Comstock, who was the CMO of GE, GE, one of the most serious businesses you could possibly think about, right? Jet turbines and stuff. So at the end of the day, she challenged herself and her executive team to go where the trends are.

She challenged herself to go, for example, a K pop concert in South Korea, and that is where she garnered some insights that changed the course of the way that GE approaches. Storytelling, loyalty, building, et cetera, et cetera. What does that mean for you? Well, if you're a solopreneur in a market that is competitive, how do you intend to distinguish yourself?

You need to be ahead of the trends. Playing is profitable. On top of that, when we think about overwhelm, overwhelm, rather than be bamboozled by overwhelm, rather than not have a plan for overwhelm, which if you look at your 2024 goals right now, are you setting yourself up for overwhelm? Rather than that.

Why not think about playing in terms of a way to nip overwhelming the bud. I'll give you an example. Maybe I'm an alien, but maybe this is you for me in the past, before this insight, I would, for example, work really, really, really hard and then earn a bubble bath, what I'm suggesting is. Take the bubble baths first, and then maybe you won't have to work as hard.

It really changes the tone of your effort, and you'll be a happier mom. Period. Oh, and guess what? You know what your kids want? They want to play with you more. So that's another opportunity right there to reduce the mom guilt. All right. Fifth one. Overwhelm has to be addressed at its roots. So, overwhelm.

Sometimes I've noticed when I've coached working moms, some of the most bad ass working moms in the universe, we're talking about, for example, a CFO of American express in Canada, bad ass mom. She became a mom. All of a sudden, insecurities pop up. Am I really good? Do I deserve the CFO spot? What if the person that's taking my position during maternity leave takes the actual job?

All of these insecurities really pop up because our emotions are so raw, especially early on. And depending on the stage that you are in as a mom, what happens is That you then just start second guessing yourself and other categories of your life. And then you overcompensate because you really don't want to get it wrong.

And that's at the root of overwhelm more than that. It's also figuring out as a mom in that role and figuring out as a business owner in that role, what a success look like for you. Or have you been playing the rules that someone else wrote, maybe your mom, maybe an entrepreneur you see on Instagram, might their rules just send you off a cliff.

Like if you don't get this right, you could pretend to be like chilling out at the end of every day and catching up on Z's. But if in your mind, you feel like you're doing less than you should, or you're not enough, that's going to keep nagging at you. And it will slow down your progress as a business owner.

And it'll make you less happy as a mom. So this is something that has to be addressed at its root. And it's really hard to see. It's kind of like a jar with a label on the outside. If you're inside the jar, you cannot read the label. If you have someone outside that understands that there's symptoms here and can help you work through them, then you'll be way better off to actually avoid a train wreck.

So I, I think this one is just. Pretty urgent. Okay, so here's what you need in order to achieve a five year goal in one year. So five things all together, these have to be practiced and embodied and done swiftly to knock out big goals. Why is that? So at the end of the day, you're not going to be faced with challenge only one time.

It's like, Oh, it's 2024 and it's January. And here's that one challenge that I can't convert a particular sales lead or something like that. No, you're going to get that over and over and over in different sort of flavors. And so it has to be something that when you get knocked out the first time. Maybe it takes you and these numbers are totally not based on reality, but maybe it takes you like three days to get back up.

And then the next time it takes you, ideally, if you've practiced these five, two days to get back up. And then the next day, 20 minutes. And then the next day, it's a two minute rage session or something. That's what we're going for. And that's why these five things are not just. Intellectual conversations that can be had.

There has to be an actual immersion in this entire process. There has to be a guide who can tell you just like the jar metaphor when something is not going well as a business owner, so you could then make some change. So now you have a choice. Now you have a choice. I just shared with you five insights, some of which might sound woo woo because of the angel thing, some of which might sound like they would be impossible for you to do by yourself.

And I've attended webinars just like this. When I have said to myself, first of all, maybe I was double dutying, maybe it was multitasking, right? I was looking at my email. I was looking at another sort of conversation, but these, these conversations and these insights, they're proven. And they're not just proven for a Beth Comstock or Susy Batiz or an Asha Curran.

They're proven for someone like, like you, like me, like someone who constantly has to, in their mind, toggle between, okay, this is what needs to happen at home. Okay, this is what needs to happen in my business. Okay. What about me? Am I even on my list? Like they're proven for individuals who have a meaningful business goal on their heart.

And they're also proven for individuals who have a meaningful and want to continue a meaningful relationship with their kids. And I know that to you, I just know it. I know it. Why else would you be here? Why else do you want to be successful in both realms of this, of this life? Right? So what does this mean?

This means that I can help you. And I can help you in the next 72 hours. So this is what I've done because I anticipated that this webinar might bring up ideas that you've haven't heard before, that you might want to learn a little bit more about. So the next 72 hours, I will put up a link very shortly and you can actually schedule time with me for free 30 minute breakthrough session, and you can share with me your 2024 business goals.

What I would love the honor of doing is helping you filter through these goals based on these insights that I shared with you so that this way any blind spots are addressed up front before you run in the wrong direction of your dreams, right? So what I've done is this 30 minute private call. It's totally free.

And you could just go ahead and sign up right here, but I will also email you a link so that this way you have a time, some time to breathe. I want to be sure that we both have an opportunity to just have some time to breathe, but I want to just have this here for you so that this way. These insights are not just in the air, but they're really tangible and they mean something to how you intend to approach the rest of 2024 so that this way, whatever happened in 2023 that didn't feel was your best or didn't feel when as, as well as it should have doesn't happen again.

Like you want to take different steps for different results. And so that's why I wanted to do this for you. And that's why I honor you. And that's why I'm a hundred percent going to be taking your questions. If you have any, I'll just save a little bit of time, but then we'll absolutely do. The drawing right after, thank you for listening to the webinar.

Here is that link. So you can schedule your breakthrough session in the next 72 hours, or whenever you actually catch this episode, it's www.MelissaLlarena.com/sessions. Those are free 30 minute sessions for mom entrepreneurs who are committed to navigating imposter syndrome for mom entrepreneurs who are committed to finding what is going to help them nip overwhelm in the bud and mom entrepreneurs who are 100 percent open to a fully immersive experience where they will learn how to network effectively, productively. Elegantly and authentically so that this way, if you have a five year plan, you can knock it out in 2024.

I want to be of service to you. Go ahead and sign up for the breakthrough call. No commitment. Just be sure to show up. Be sure to honor that meaningful business goal that you have on your heart by showing up. And bringing you to the table. I'm so excited and thrilled. Again, breakthrough sessions are free 30 minutes and for mom entrepreneurs.

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This episode is brought to you by Mom Mogul Makeover happening today on 1/9 for free.

There is still time to SIGN-UP: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a

If you are like me then perhaps you are getting ready for your kids to return to school very soon and your plan is to hit the ground running. I know this is my plan as a mom of three. This is why I want to invite you to a LIVE 20-minute webinar entitled Mom Mogul Makeover 1/9 at 12pm CST.

The idea is to share the best wisdom I've gathered as a podcaster, bestselling author, and executive coach to ensure that you are running in the right direction, at the right pace, and are challenging yourself to gather more miles with fewer steps. Does that make sense? If this is something that resonates with you then sign-up: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a

This webinar is perfect for you if deep down in your heart you wish you could achieve your five-year goals in one. Come to imagine the possibilities even if you struggle with impostor syndrome, overwhelm, or lack the "right" connections to catapult your business success.

🖐Say hi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Welcome to episode 212. Let's talk about overwhelm. And then we're going to end with a very actionable insight pertaining to how you can play offensively whenever it comes to overwhelm as a mom entrepreneur. If you don't know me, I'm an executive coach for mom entrepreneurs and what I help you with is turning imposter syndrome into your asset. I also help you nip overwhelm in the bud and realize the power of networking. All of this has to do with something that every single mom entrepreneur has to do, which is putting herself out there. So I wanted to just share that with you. I also wanted to share with you one really, really huge, huge opportunity, which is today.

I have a free 20 minute webinar focused on your 2024 ultimate business success called Mom Mogul Makeover. And during this 20 minute live webinar. And the link will be in the show notes, so you could absolutely grab the link and sign up immediately and just show up. I'm going to teach you the mindset shifts necessary to ultimately turn any five year plan into a one year possibility for you, specifically a 2024 possibility. Sign-up: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a

TRANSCRIPT

So here we go on the topic of overwhelm. Some of the overwhelm that you might be feeling could be self inflicted. And I want to share with you a story where I inflicted upon myself way more harm than good and I felt overwhelmed. And it wasn't just emotional overwhelm, but physiological overwhelm. One day when I was writing my book and going through the editing, I had my entire manuscript in front of me and I decided to sit down at my desk for 12 hours straight in order to edit every single sentence.

And the amount of focus that I applied to every single sentence was fairly extraordinary. Because for me, if I miss out on a fact, or if there's a typo, or if there's a misunderstanding, I feel it very personally. And I'm sure that if you have a book on your heart and you have yet to write the book, maybe that's something that you think would happen to you, or maybe that's why you haven't written your book yet, because it feels so personal.

So ultimately that day I sat there for 12 hours and I was saying to myself, okay, I want to get this out to my book interior designer and they might close up shop for the holidays. So I've got to sit here and just grind it out. Right? And so that's why I say it was self inflicted. Ultimately this was a vendor of mine.

I was paying this person and for some reason I wanted to punish myself to meet her deadline. So there's that in terms of just, um, how irrationally I was behaving in that moment in the moment, I felt like a fast moving train. I was not operating rationally. I was emotionally driven. which is something that is very, very common when you attempt to do something on your own without a third party to see what's really going on there and help you avoid a train accident.

Okay, back to the story. So I sat there for 12 hours and all of a sudden I felt like my central nervous system was lit up like a Christmas tree. And that is when my own figuring out what went wrong journey began. So in the middle of an overwhelming season of my life, I added more to my plate. I now had to add in the middle of that moment.

Visits to doctors, blood tests, figuring out specialists and booking appointments with them. So there was a lot that I had to do because I did not respect and honor the fact that as the CEO of my own business, I was able to actually nip overwhelm in the bud. By actually splitting up my time in the review of my manuscript or hiring more help in order to be sure that my deadline was met.

And so there were a lot of things in hindsight I could have done differently, but in that moment I had to now add doctor's visits to my plate. So isn't it funny how when you feel overwhelmed, oftentimes you will then have to add more things to your plate in order to overcome that feeling of overwhelm.

I've seen this as a coach for mom entrepreneurs where my clients have felt extraordinarily overwhelmed. And ultimately they've had to add to their calendar therapist visits, or they've had to add to their calendar more workout regimes. And so it's, it's a little ironic, right? As far as how productive we really are.

When we decide to ignore the signs of overwhelm. So, in that moment, I had to make a couple of decisions. I had to really honor the fact that I wanted to know what was going on with my health. And it really behooved me. And I thought to myself, well, if this was one of my kids, I have three little boys, would I have just sat there for 12 hours just continuing on the path of editing my book if someone came over to me and said, Mommy, I feel weird?

No, if you are overwhelmed, if you have been historically overwhelmed with your business, so just go through 2023 and 2024, you have a more ambitious goal. I would invite you right now to really, really comb through that goal. Really comb through that goal. I want you to think through at a very micro level.

What are every single, what are the steps you need to take on a daily basis in order to accomplish that goal? And do you have to do them all at one time? Might any of those steps be avoidable? Might you want to outsource any of those steps? Might you want to completely toss any of those steps? Because what you don't want to do is feel overwhelmed because you put it on yourself unnecessarily.

That's something that I think a lot of times gets lost. There's this externally focused sort of blame. Like, I feel overwhelmed because I have to wash all the dishes, or I feel overwhelmed because my client has these unreasonable expectations, or I feel overwhelmed because my social media strategy is not working for me.

And oftentimes you want to just take a step back and say to yourself, wait a minute. What part of this is self inflicted and what part of this is totally outside of my control based on my revenue goals, right? And again, we ask ourselves, what part of this is self inflicted because those revenue goals, are they based on the fact that you have extra costs that could be avoided?

Again, really think through what part of your overwhelm is self inflicted and also understand that you're not a robot. And ultimately, what's important here is that if you do have a goal on your heart, the importance is actually in seeing it become real. Will you still be alive after achieving this goal to actually see it become real?

Something to ask yourself. So on that note, I think what's really important for today's episode is for you to have a really good understanding of how to actually nip overwhelm in the bud in 2024. And I want this to be interactive. I would love for you to reach out to me on Instagram. At Melissa Lorena, I want to understand what are your 2024 goals.

I want to understand which ones intimidate you, which ones feel like they're going to be overwhelming in order to accomplish, given your life experiences in 2023, which ones might be. Unnecessary. And that's a question we could actually discuss on DM. But I want to understand, like, how are you setting yourself up for overwhelm in 2024?

Like, how are you making it harder for yourself? How are you inflicting upon yourself this extra ness that is then going to put you in a place where you will then have to add more to your plate? Such as doctors visits, therapist visits, or whatever else might make sense for you. So really consider this as you think about your 2024 goals, really consider what you think it's going to take in order to see them through.

Really consider. Are they totally aligned with who you want to be in 2024 and really consider if they bring out the best in you. I will say if I'm feeling any degree of uncertainty with regards to my physical wellbeing. I'm not like the happiest, most joyful mom. I'm more like scared and nervous. I'm hesitant to do things because I'm just like, Oh my God, am I going to break myself?

So consider that too. I know that you have really big dreams in your heart. I know that you want to serve amazing human beings. But I also know that oftentimes, You, me, all of us have blind spots and in order to more healthfully navigate our blind spots, we need someone beyond ourselves to let us know when we're going a little too far.

We need someone on the outside of us to be brave enough to tell us, you know what? It's your fault you put yourself in that situation. We need someone outside of us to give us a totally different perspective on how we approach our goals. And how we might want to approach our lives too. And so I want to invite you to reach out to me on Instagram with just simply sharing your 2024 goals.

If you're a mom with a business, if you have been at this rodeo before, like I have for 12 years now as a coach, I invite you to just be honest with yourself. Are you setting yourself up for overwhelm in 2024? Might you be making it harder on yourself and how can you ensure that you bubble wrap your sanity so that this way you can use your imagination when you need to When you need to compete in the market when you need to be nimble and change your strategic approach When you need to actually be that present and loving and playful mom There's so much that is on the table for you And it is so important that if you're setting yourself up for overwhelm in 2024 You understand that a lot of it can be resolved by just taking it off your plate.

So, why not start out the year in a way where things feel a little lighter, things feel more clear, and things feel more near also, right, to just go with the rhyming there. I invite you to send me a DM on Instagram. Let me know your 2024 goals. I want to help you think about whether you are making it harder on yourself. @melissallarena

I want to help you tease out whether some of them are self inflicted. And I also want to just close this off by saying you are totally invited. To participate, join me live in terms of today's webinar, Mom Mogul Makeover. It is at 12 p. m. Central Standard Time, and we will be going through some insights that have absolutely helped me really accelerate my business goals and really figure out how to use imposter syndrome as an asset.

How to nip overwhelm, although I am human, there will be times when it will absolutely affect me especially if I don't have a mentor who can see its signs early on. Hint: the irony is that I can spot the signs on others and yet it's hard to read a label on a jar from its inside. Funny how that works?

I digress: But at the same time, I'm here setting out to do something about it. And I also want to use it as a learning tool for you. I want you to absolutely just open your eyes and know that you might be setting yourself up for overwhelm, but you also have the power to change this before it happens.

To actually nip it in the bud and part of the strategy is networking because you don't have to do everything on your own and you don't have to guess as much as you might think other people have already accomplished your business goals. So why not find them, leverage them in an authentic, genuine way and enjoy that connection too.

Alrighty. 2024 definitely really important for you to figure out if you're setting yourself up for overwhelm. It doesn't have to be.

I hope to see you at the Mom Mogul Makeover webinar today at 12pm CST! It's free. It's 20-mnutes! Sign-up: https://witty-thinker-2643.ck.page/7e884a0f0a

Welcome to Episode 211. It's 2024. So now you've got to hit the ground running. You've got to go towards your ambitions and everything seems to be in sync. And I want you to feel energized. We all do. I am so on your side and I'm thrilled that you're here to celebrate 2024. So this conversation is with Meryl Cook and she is a creative person whom I admire. She's a writer, an author herself, and she does something called hooking. Now get your mind out of the gutter. It has to do with yarn and creating beautiful designs. What a wonderful woman and conversation that might be best enjoyed with a mom friend. That was a hint because we'll get into some thoughts on making more mom friends and what to look for in them too. Ultimately, think about this episode as a helpful reminder for 2024. What if you had mom friends that were ahead of you? And what if you had a handful that also reminded you that you get to play too? That is what Meryl and I talked about in this conversation. This is the last chat in my series that involved my book launch of Fertile Imagination. It was maybe like one of my first IGTV lives with a mom who was ahead of me. Also an empty nester. And what I love about the conversation is that 2024, you may have not considered it, but what if it's the year that you make friends?

If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu

TRANSCRIPT

What if it's the year that you find a group of women who emboldened you and inspire you and give you the inspiration that you need to actually go after what is on your heart? On that note, I wanted to share a review from an empty nester who is also ahead of me in her motherhood journey. So Meryl Cook, as I mentioned before, is ahead of me in her motherhood journey.

All her quote-unquote kids are out of the house. And the same is true of this Amazon reviewer, Kathleen Ryan. So Kathleen Ryan is someone who worked at Ogilvy & Mather and has had an amazing career that I completely admire and Kathleen is a great-grandmother right now. This is what she says about fertile imagination, my debut book for moms who want to rediscover their imagination, especially this year in 2024.

This is your year, like legitimately if you choose it to be, she says, fertile imagination is a virtual powerhouse of real-life scenarios that will help any woman. Moms, especially navigate today's workplace. I wish I had been gifted this kind of access to smart women back in the seventies when I was raising my boys as a single mom.

I wanted to point that out because Kathy Ryan also shared with me the idea that now that we have access to technology, we can be always on 24/7. It's like an extra hurdle that working moms have to really overcome. How can you take back your time? How can you hold sacred time? And it's something that I hadn't thought about until Kathy Ryan actually told me over text.

And that's the value of having moms who are ahead of you. They have a really good appreciation for what they were able to accomplish, but they wish they had greater support. And I think it helps us in the modern time right now within any season of motherhood that you're in, to reconsider what's necessary and what's superfluous.

So I hope you enjoy the conversation with Meryl Cook. It had to do with the book launch for imagination and it's about celebrating, right? So January 2, if you got through the holidays unscathed, if you got through. Everything that needed to happen, like, why don't you celebrate? Why don't you do a spa day?

Why don't you throw yourself a dance party? Right. And that's what Meryl Cook and I talk about this idea that oftentimes as moms, we don't celebrate. So again, there are benefits to having moms that are ahead of you in your season of motherhood and 2024 might be the year of friends. It might be the year of friends.

It might be the year of Mom friends who are ahead of you. So I appreciate you both Kathleen Ryan for leaving your Amazon review and also Meryl Cook for reminding me that it is important to celebrate. And I suggest that you do the same too. Okay. Enjoy the conversation. Thank you. So how's your day been going?

Ah, it's been going. I feel like I have, it's overwhelming with the support that I've gotten from people. And it's interesting because maybe for other people also like taking compliments feels weird and different. So when people tell me that they're proud of me for having this book out in the world, I feel so, it's like unusual.

You know, yes. Good for you. I really think it's just soak it up and enjoy it. It's, it's a fabulous way that you've launched and I'm so pleased that, that you called on so many different people to help you. And, and I mean, that's what being a mom is about, right? Is, it calling on your tribe and saying, can you help me?

I need to do this. Yeah. Yeah, it's wonderful, wonderful. And so one of the questions I wanted to ask you, Melissa, because I've just started my new podcast called Renegade Conversations, and I started out with a really great cast of people, but now I'm searching around for other people, and I wonder, how did you get so many really really top-notch people on your podcast.

What, what was your, what was your magic that you did? Do you know what my magic is? It's it's being very authentic and sincere. You can actually, you will be surprised. Like for example, now, as you go on your own sort of audio journey or visual journey, cause I've seen some Instagram too, you will be surprised that.

Individuals whom you might feel are hard to reach are not as difficult to reach if you approach them from a place of sincerity. So if you want to have a deep conversation on your channel and you want to talk about something that is truthfully, On your heart, like it really matters to you. Then someone like Suzy Batiz, who was a founder of Poo~pourri, or David Meltzer an entrepreneur, and philanthropist.

Like they're willing to have a conversation with you. And I think it's for a couple of reasons. Like, I honestly think, first of all, they must think to themselves, well, if this person has the guts to ask, there's gotta be something about her, that's a little different. And then the second side of it is.

These individuals are approached so often with people who have agendas. So you are refreshing if you truthfully want to have a deep conversation, but you're very refreshing. When I interviewed Susie Batiste, for example, Who's in my book, fertile imagination. I approached her from the position where I knew her background.

Like I knew that she had family members who had mental illnesses. And then my mom has a mental illness. And I also saw that she really cared about spirituality and the universe and all of that. And for me, it wasn't a leap really to approach her and say, Hey, I've been looking at you on this channel and that channel.

And I feel like we're vibing similarly. May I approach you? Yeah. No. So. That's the key. Sincerity. Cool. I've been doing that and that's been working for me so far. A few people are a bit hard to reach and hard to get past, their managers, for example, or, their media people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the funny thing.

That's the funny thing, Meryl. I actually don't ever approach, the managers or PR people. Like, that's a nice, that's a nice consideration and I'll respect it if it's a requirement, but I talk to them actually like individually. And so I think that makes the difference because when I was putting together the book, there were so many approvals that I had to get.

And ultimately, some of the individuals that are in the book, you can literally reach out to them one on one and they'll get your approval or whatever. But for other individuals, you have to be more strategic. It's like who was the audio guy behind this person who I physically saw at the comedy club?

Like that's how I got James Altucher's approval. Like I had to really be like sleuth work, you know? And so you got somebody to give you an introduction then basically is how you did that. No, I showed up to his comedy club is how I did that. Awesome. Good. I've been doing some similar things.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's a lot of fun. Actually, I really enjoy it. So I was so excited to see you putting your opening your book video and all those kinds of things because I think that's I think that As women, as mothers, especially, we need to celebrate these, these milestones, right? We need to because they are a big deal.

And, I think often, what we do is rush from one hurdle to the next hurdle to the next hurdle. So we accomplish something and we don't take time to really have fun. And so today you're, you're doing your big launch and I hope tomorrow you're just going to celebrate and say, hey, what did I do?

And really, really take time to acknowledge the hard work that's gone into this launch. I mean, you've, you've been on this for months now, right? Even before, as the book was going to the printer, you were already planning your launch. So that, that's really. Really impressive. Thank you. I, it's funny because I, I was thinking about how a lot of typical book launches, like you go to a bookshop and you're signing stuff, selling the books.

And I thought to myself, I was like, honestly, for me as a mom, a slumber party where no one's invited, would be the best book launch party for me. It's like, can I just like sleep? Like, is that like on the table? And, and it's like, like, I get it. Like I get wanting to like to spend time with other people and make it a big party and celebration.

But I also get to be able to use my fertile imagination and think about how I want to truly celebrate. Like I want to celebrate online with women from around the world who have different viewpoints and I want to do it and I want to be home to then take my three little boys trick or treating.

Wondering about that because yes, you do have to go trick or treating tonight, and uh, but you're on the West Coast, right? So you have a bit of time Austin, okay the middle of the U.S. Yeah. Okay. Wonderful. That's great. And so what's been your biggest surprise about today? well For me, I guess it's like, I thought, I thought that things would be a little bit more like real-time from a technology perspective, but apparently they're not, there's like a lot of lag in terms of the world of Amazon.

So that's more like, but it's, what do you call it? a rookie kind of thing. Right. I just bought one thing and I got another in terms. You know what it is too, in terms of seeing people reshare the stories that I put out there and like share with their community about me and the book, and then also like the reviews.

So honestly, for me, it's like the reaction of everybody. And, and I see it so visually, visually for me, it feels like people are like, like hugging me like, like virtually we are. That's so cool. Wonderful. Oh, wonderful. Do you have any new, stats yet? Or is Amazon still calculating everything that's where we get tricky.

That's right. Could you believe it? Like static, static. So how it's like as someone, like when you're in the thick of it and you're like in a launch or whatever, you always have obviously like two paths, either be like what deflated or forget it, but, but, but, and for me, I'm just like, I don't know what's happening on the logistics end and all of that, but I'm going to keep going.

When I was giving birth and I gave birth to the identical twins, like there was all this, like a SWAT team in the room looking at me, right? Like a miracle or something. And, and I'm giving birth and I'm like, ultimately everybody was telling me, Oh, push all this or that. And like, who was in charge? Me, it was just me.

And so it's like, okay, the same thing with a book. It's like, I have to keep up my energy. I have to keep up the faith. I have to keep this up because ultimately here's what I know for sure. Like you, you have a book, you have books, plural, like. You had them inside of you. You had books inside of you. And do you know how many people say that and don't do it?

So for me, like that in and of itself, it's an accomplishment. It's a huge accomplishment. It's really huge. And what will be really nice is five years from now when you find your book is still selling. People are still benefiting from it. That's a really big deal. And your book is the type of book that will be evergreen.

It's not something that's going to go out of style. It's the kind of advice that all mums need. Yeah, I think, I think you're going to be five years from now, we're going to be having this conversation saying, Oh, I'm still selling on Amazon. And here's where I sell most of my books and it'll be awesome.

So my son was just on Keegan is one of my boys. He said, Hi Mom. I'm just about to leave for work. How cute. He lives in Vancouver. He's a tattoo artist. So. How cool is that? That's what I love, Meryl. I love, I love being around moms who are at different stages of motherhood. I think it's so important.

Yeah. It's important to have intergenerational friends, especially among mothers. When I first moved to the Northwest Territories, my son was just on Keegan was three weeks old and the nurse at the nursing station said, the best thing you can do is to make fun. Make friends with a woman who has kids in school who has sort of been through the early kids stage and has some advice to give you and it was really good advice.

Yeah, I think it's important for sure, for sure. Yeah, nice, nice. So, is there anything else you'd like me to ask you? Is there anything else? I don't know how our times are, we have about four minutes left. No, I think right now, It's funny because you and I were talking about the title of the book. Yeah. I think you did a great job.

Thank you. I remember. So that's something that's kind of like the backstory, right? The amount of pressure that I felt to come up with like the world's best title was something that I couldn't even like. Put my finger on it like it's that it's like that last thing that matters the most and it's like, oh great but yeah, I remember when you and I were brainstorming and you were sharing your opinion and you like the fact that it had something about playful and it was like play playback no playbook and playful Yeah, right Yes.

Do you think that more than one meaning to and yeah, and that it's um, yeah. And so that idea of playfulness, I'm just curious about your stage of motherhood. However, you define that for yourself. How have you remained? I think I have not only remained playful, I've become more playful. My kids are all launched.

The youngest is 30 now and mostly doesn't live in our house. The occasional weekend he lives with us still. I would say that I take more time to be playful and to make sure, for example, that I work on my art every day, no matter what else I'm doing, I'm crazy, crazy busy. If I don't take time for my art or I don't take time to play.

I noticed that I started to make mistakes. I start to kind of fall apart. And when I make time for play, it regenerates me and gives me the enthusiasm and the energy to keep going forward. So. Yeah, so I'm more playful, see, and that's something that I think as, as a mom who has three little boys who are nine, nine, and 12, it's like, I see them play and in the book, I even talk about how, like, my husband is like, he'll go straight for like the chess set.

Meanwhile, for me, if I see the chess set, I will pick up everything from the floor on the way to the chess set, and then I'll forget that I intended to play. It's like adding a to-do, right, in your list? I was actually writing about that this morning. I just published a blog on creativity and midlife and beyond and, and, and I was exactly like that.

I would, I would always do all my chores before I would do my creative process. What I discovered is, is that The chores are never done, and they're never all done, so it was more important to really take the time to play and to do the creative process, and that would help me to get more done in the end, but I think as women, we're so conditioned to taking care of everything else and everyone else, and we think of our creative process as frivolous, or as something that's kind of stuff for the day.

A nice thing, but, but maybe we won't get to it. And, I think that for me, having had breast cancer, I realized that I really need to focus on myself. And, I think that young moms also need that, I wish that I hadn't waited until I had a big health scare to focus on myself and to make time to play because I think in general, I mean, my husband is, is a very.

He's a good father, he does a lot around the house, but he's, he doesn't, he doesn't think twice about lying back on the couch if he's tired. He'll get things done, but whereas I'm like 30 at night, then I'll sit down. And so I'm, I've really worked on that in the last eight years to, uh, to work on, okay, now's the time to do work, and now's the time to just let the dishes sit there or let, let something else sit there because it never will be done and, uh, yeah, we need to play as mothers.

Yeah. No, I think so as well. And I think you reminded me. So one chapter in the book is exactly what you're saying. And it's basically this DJ who is in her fifties DJ yo Mama Esther. And she had also felt like. She was focused on helping everyone be happy and she was losing sight of her own happiness.

And so she had her health scare and her daughter also had a health scare when she was a little girl, but ultimately like the message in the book, I have a chapter. Dedicated to this is that it's like your body doesn't know why you're neglecting it. Like neglect is neglect. And you've got to be really mindful as moms.

And I would say if there were a way to help us prioritize ourselves, I think, I think the art of playing might be the answer. Like our kids want to, they want to, I mean, maybe not your son since they're adults, but Oh, I don't know. I think they still play. They have their hobbies, they have the things that they love to do and they prioritize them.

Some, someone is saying, uh, make time for what matters most. Your relationships, your tribe of people, that's the prize of life. Yeah. I think that that's true, but you have to include yourself in that tribe. So make time for what matters most, including me. Right? Mm-Hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Cool. Thank you so much.

I wanted to tell people that the book is available today. The link in my bio, and I would be honored if anyone in your community, Meryl actually got the book and got enjoyment out of it and felt that sense of play. Excellent. Well, I'm, I'm sure that people will take a good look at it and I would highly recommend it.

So. Thank you so much. Have an awesome one. I appreciate you. Let us know, let us know how the stats go when they finally tell you what they are. Thank you. Thank you again. Thank you, Melissa. Bye. Merrill is so amazing and a big shout out to my Canadians, honestly. The book is available to you as well. You could absolutely get it in Kindle format and you could go on Amazon. And purchase the book as well. If you have already purchased Fertile Imagination, I would invite you to write a two to three-sentence Amazon review today. Here's why there are about 3 million moms who are logging into Amazon every single day around the world. I surmise, that they are shopping. And right now they're getting recommendations in their shopping cart.

That could be things like lipsticks, or it could be things like sneakers, or it could be things like. Tie detergent. What if instead, Amazon noticed that Fertile Imagination was getting all these reviews and put it as a recommended product for them to imagine being recommended, being recommended that you go after your dreams?

Imagine if someone told you, you know what, there's this book out there for imagination that I think you will like to, that can actually take what's in your heart and bring it out live. To whatever market you so desire. That's what we want more of. Like, I would love to see shopping carts filled with a fertile imagination and then filled with whatever tools are necessary to execute whatever dream you have in your heart.

That's what I want to see more of in 2024. And I need your help in order to do that. The more reviews we get on Amazon.com, the more likely 3 million moms every single day will see Fertile Imagination, my debut book. Online is available to them and for them and that is so important every single day. That's 3 million missed opportunities. It is not yet really buzzing with Amazon reviews.

Thank you so much for choosing unimaginable wellness, and this is going to be the year of friends, the year of seeking friends who support you so that you don't feel lonely so that you don't feel overwhelmed and unable to ask for help. I want all of that for you for 2024.

Happy New Year. Thank you so much again for all of your support for shopping, and fertile imagination for activating the ideas for making sure that you're reawakening. Reawakening, playing with, and stretching your imagination for maximum impact. Thank you so much.

​

Welcome to Episode 210. We're going to talk with Margot Bisnow, who wrote the book, Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams - 99 Stories from Families Who Did. What I love about this conversation is that there are so many moms behind us, and there are also moms ahead of us. This includes moms who have authored books too! Moms to young men as well. The available mom mentors are truly plenty and for that I'm grateful to have had so many book launch conversations like today's. In this one, Margot Bisnow asked me what I personally learned about myself, about my family, and about writing. If you think you have a book in you and you really mean it then tune into our conversation as it will astound you in terms of what I learned and you could too in 2024!

If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu

TRANSCRIPT

When I wrote Fertile Imagination. So this is a snippet from the conversation on book launch day for Fertile Imagination. And I'm so appreciative of Margot Bisnow. I wanted to share an Amazon review that really hit close to home because I'm a mom of multiple. This was for the book Fertile Imagination, which you can purchase on Amazon.com.

Rose Elizabeth says this, as a mom of triplets, I know firsthand how easy it can be to lose yourself in motherhood. This book Fertile Imagination helped me reawaken my imagination and start to create the powerful impact I want to have on the world. It's a must-read for moms who need inspiration to live their lives for themselves, not just for their kids.

What I love about this review is that Rose Elizabeth, a mom of triplets, who also might have her own business, if I think this is the Rose that I know, took the time to go on Amazon.com and share two to three sentences on how the book really resonated in her own life. Amazon reviews are so important.

If you have ever, ever written a book, ever uploaded your files on Amazon and hit the publish button, then you know, but most of you don't. You might have never, ever understood the logistics behind what it takes to Have a book become number one in the motherhood category and number one in the women in business category on Amazon.com, both of which Fertile Imagination was able to do on book launch day. So I wanted to share that. I'm so grateful and enthusiastic.

So if you have already purchased the book Fertile Imagination, I invite you today to go ahead on Amazon.com and write your two to three sentences. If Amazon sees that this book keeps getting written reviews and notices that there's activity on this particular book, it will show it as a recommended product to moms.

And there are about 3 million moms. I would argue even more in December, especially today, December 26. They are shopping on Amazon, so could you imagine if a mom is going in there and is looking to purchase something like paper plates or something like, you know, I don't even know, a new battery for her cell phone, I'm making that up.

Imagine if, in her recommended product area, she sees fertile imagination. What if she decides that day to invest in herself? Buy a book that can help her figure out what she wants to do in the next chapter of her life, figure out how she can actually live out her dreams in a very practical step-by-step manner, whereby she gets to actually take back control of her dreams.

That is what I'm asking of you. I'm asking you to potentially do something that is way out of your comfort zone, which is to shop the book on Amazon today. If you have not yet purchased Fertile Imagination, gift it to someone in terms of an option to them so that they can get ready for the new year. And write a review.

If you've already shopped it, you can absolutely just go ahead on Amazon.com, write a review, and I will leave the actual link in the show notes so that this is super easy peasy for you. Look, this is the last episode before 2024. 2024 is coming rapidly and quickly. And all of those words. And I want to just say this, whatever happened this year, really learn from it.

Whatever happened this year, be sure that it is helping you build the life that you need and what you want to see in 2024. Nothing magic happens on January 1st, but what does happen is that you have the benefit of seeing other people. Yeah. Make some new decisions, decisions, and choices in their lives. So why not use their inspiration to inspire yourself?

So I hope you have the best New Year and I really hope that whatever it is that's on your mind or in your heart becomes reality. And it's going to take work. I'm not going to lie. So I'm here to support you. But what I would love again is to write a review. That is the way that we can support more people as they enter into 2024.

Wow. I cannot believe we're here. Thank you again for all of your support in 2023. Thank you again if you were one of these women who interviewed me and thank you again for just being gracious and generous with your time. I appreciate you and I hope that you feel appreciated. I hope you feel really, really appreciated.

Hello, Margot Bisnow. How are you? Am I in? Yes, you are in. You are in. Two months going wild. Yay. Well, congratulations on launch day. I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of you. I know you worked so hard and you deserve all the wonderful things that come. Thank you so much. Margot. I'm like, wow, this is so much work. But it's so worthwhile.

It's so funny. Like my little boys are looking through the glass pane of the entrance way store. They're like, can we come in that from years behind, right? I know, but I can't believe you're doing this on Halloween. There's so much other stuff on Halloween with costumes and candy and treats and decorations.

See, I got me, pulled my pumpkin. Yes, they do. Very nice. Well, Halloween is the day of imagination. Today, people are pretending to be whatever it is they wish to be. Ghosts and goblins and all that good stuff. So why not Halloween? It's like, let's all be playful, you know? Absolutely. Or even let's be a famous author.

Yeah, that's, that's the costume today. It's a famous author right now. The famous author costume. very, very much. Oh, this is so cool. Where are you? You feel, I feel like you are always traveling with the band. I am always traveling. And, uh, today I'm in Washington, D. C. and I'm excited to be here and life is good.

That's good to hear. That's really good to hear. I think it's been like writing a book for me as a mom in the middle of My motherhood season of life has been quite the adventure, quite the adventure and being surrounded by moms who are ahead of me in terms of seasons of motherhood is a source of inspiration for me.

It's like, you know what? That's really cool. Like you going. to concerts with your son on stage. It's like really, really cool stuff. So you give us a lot to look forward to, but don't you feel that you learned a lot writing your book? Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's funny cause I was thinking to myself, I didn't intend to get a PhD.

But apparently, I got a PhD and I didn't even know it. There was so much research that went into it. I had to research, of course, some of the things that are just like basic, right? It's like getting legal approvals from everybody that's influential that's in the book or figuring out what plus content is on Amazon.com.

I have to share this because it's like the biggest misstep. So I thought. Because I'm a nerd, right? Like you get your MBA as you got an MBA, right? From a top-flight school. And you're like, I thought a plus content was actually like the quiz that I did for my website for people to come and take, or like the opt-ins that I did for my website for people to come and take.

And in the publishing world, it's not any of those things. It's like creative stuff to put on your Amazon profile page. I was like, wow, what a, what, I'm like overthinking this. But don't you think you also learned a lot from the other moms that you talked to? Well, yeah, I think when I interviewed different moms in the book, so like Susie Batiste, for example, like she's a grandmother now, right?

And she had invented her poo~pourri. I don't know how old her kids were, but what I do know is that I still see her on social and everything, like having a good relationship with her kids. And that was a question I got from the early readers of my book, fertile imagination. It's like, well, how can a mom go after her dreams and not feel guilty about it?

How can a mom go after her dreams and still have a positive and good relationship with her children? Like when they become adult, right? And so for me, when I was talking to moms for the book, that became a question too. It was like, okay, so if our priorities are to be like the best mom or to be like a present mom, it's like, how can you be present and also pursue your dreams?

That was a big question. Yeah. So that was so interesting to me when I was doing my book, as since you helped me. I interviewed 70 entrepreneurs and their moms about how they were raised. One of the things that surprised me was there was absolutely no correlation between how much time the mom spent at home and how good a relationship they had with their kids.

And some of the moms were full-time moms, some of the moms worked outside the home, and some of the moms really worked outside the home, and it didn't matter because when they were home, they were present. They gave their kids their, all of their love and support. When they were with them, the kids knew that the moms were following their dreams and the kids respected that.

I personally worked all the time. My kids were growing up and I'm so glad I did. I also think in a way it's almost. I mean, for some, you know what, there's not a right answer. It's whatever works for that mom and that family, but I would not have been happy being home all day. And kids want a happy parent who, it doesn't matter if you're there all the time or not.

What matters is that when you're with them, you're with them. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what our kids, they feel the mood, right? So we're like the barometer in our home. It's like, we don't even need to say it. Like if we're, if we're happy, our kids actually like. And so even if you're masking a brave and happy face and you're doing things that you don't enjoy our kids know that they notice that too.

So being present, I have found is not just like literally staring into their eyeballs, although I've done that for fun, like playing the staring game, but it's also, it's also. Just like having them involved in what you've got going on. I literally had my three little boys pick out the final design of my book cover three little boys who do not agree on things, except this is my video game.

Stop touching it. I asked the three of them. I said, Hey, what do you guys think about fertile imagination? Do you like this option or this option? When the three of them agreed on a cover. I took all of my aesthetic sensibilities and I said, it doesn't matter. They agree. I'm going with that. And so that's the other side of it.

Like, let's say you want to go after your dreams and you want to be present. It doesn't just have to be being present, and doing things that they want to do. They can enjoy and join you in the things that you are doing. And that counts too, as being present. Yeah. So I've never. I've never done one of these before, but I'm just so excited that someone I love just joined us.

Hi, Alex! This is so fun! Hello, Alex! I'm so curious about where Alex is located. She's located in New York, but she grew up across the street from me. And I'm going to go to her mom's house tonight. And it's just fun to see her there. She's now, I've known her since she was born, and now she's a wonderful mom of two gorgeous little kids.

Wow. Amazing. So she's in the thick of it. He is in the thick of it. And she's also someone who follows her dreams. She is a full-time doctor. Wow. That's outstanding. Yeah. Can you imagine during COVID? Oh, no, I can't. That's intense. That is very intense. I can't imagine either. Anyhow, she's wonderful. And it's, this is so fun.

You've got to do these more often, Margot, I, I, I expose you to things you don't. Great. Great. Anyhow, no, this is super fun. I'm used to doing more just on TV and I just did another one like 15 minutes before you, but it's just, they're like more boring and they're not as, they're not, they're not more boring.

I shouldn't say that. They're, they're more traditional and you don't get as much sort of back-and-forth interaction. That's true. That's also the difference between like a podcast and just a blurb. Like when you're on TV, I remember like super early on, I was on the Varney and Coach show on Fox News.

This was 2013 or so. And I got maybe Five sentences in that's about it. But then long form IGTV, it's like, you can then really like express yourself, explain yourself, you see the person's reaction, adjust your message. So I think it's, it's. This is also the use of imagination in terms of a book tour, because traditionally book tours, right?

Like you'll go to a bookstore and you'll sign copies and you'll do a little talk and all of that. But for me, I was like, as a mom, I needed to be virtual. Cause again, I got to go trick or treating. I have three little boys who are all about the candy tonight. So. This was another option for me, like just being sure that I can do what I want to do, but honor the fact that today is also a special day for my little boys.

But even when I do book talks or, or any talk, I'm so much happier when it's a conversation rather than just a speech. I'm, I'm so much happier being, having a back and forth with someone on a stage and then even questions from the audience rather than just giving them some sort of rehearsed statement.

So what do you think that you've learned from writing the book that's the most important thing in how you deal with your boys? That they, they have a lot that they can teach me. Like that's, that's the big thing. It's like, I don't think, I don't believe that our kids are, are random. I feel like we have them for quite a precise reason and it's not just unilateral.

It's not just like the parent teaching the kid like the kid does a number on us. I think when it comes to teaching you or me how to be more patient or teaching me how to, Imagine bigger for myself be more playful, see things in a different way, or observe life with a more present sort of way of attention.

That's the biggest thing. It's like, wait a minute. I'm literally with imagination experts in residence. Like they're in my house. They are so inventive and they see things that I could have never imagined. So it's like appreciating the fact that. They are like mini teachers for me, that was a big aha for me.

Yeah, no, I've learned so much from my kids also. And I mean, one reason is that kids. Your kids aren't afraid to tell you, like, how you're screwing up. It's true. That is true. But, my kids give me a lot of, how shall I put this, positive feedback, about ways I should change, that most of my friends won't tell me, but for example, my younger son, and this is, I think important for every woman actually. Cause I think we're all, we hate to ask for stuff. And my younger son says you deserve to ask for what you want. And that's true. So like I'll be in a restaurant and they'll all have asked for something to be cooked kind of rare and they bring it well done.

And I'm like, and he'll say, give it back. And I'll say, I don't want to bother them. He'll say, Mom, you deserve to ask for what you want. Like I do. Yeah. Yeah. My kids also made me for my New Year's resolution. They made me say that I'm going to try to stop saying that's so annoying. Yeah, I think, my children definitely have a bone to pick with me as it relates to like my food situation.

And I told them, I said, look, you are more than welcome to cook these meals yourself. I'm not like this. Cook that you can then tell me all your preferences and I'll execute on them because it's three little humans. They all have their preferences, but at the same time, it's like, okay, yeah, maybe I should put in a little more effort.

But with the writing of the book, with having a coaching practice, with having a podcast, like I am going to like for sure, oftentimes just be like lost in thought or like focus on work. And I burn so many. Pots of rice and beans. So that's like the one thing it's like, that's the one place where I've just been, like, I give up at least we're eating food and I'm sorry, this is part of your childhood memory experience.

Yeah. You just do the best you can. That's I mean, I think that's the bottom line is you do the best you can and you don't get everything perfect. Nobody gets everything perfect, but as long as you do the best you can with people, people appreciate that. People respect that. I like to think so. I totally think so.

And I think when I was putting the book together, I was like, okay, I have a couple of options. Either I could finish it to perfection and 10 more years, or I could get this out in the world now because there are a lot of moms who feel like this. They've lost a sense of themselves or they don't feel like they have the same enthusiasm in terms of what they want out of their life as they believe they should have.

And so I was like, this is my best foot forward. It's like these conversations I had with the individuals in the book, they're very, very raw. They're very real. And they're also very relatable because I think. The more that I tried to hold on to this book idea and just guard it, the, less valuable the book could ultimately be.

So like your point earlier, what did I learn about myself, let's say with writing the book, I had to get this book out to a lot of early readers. Very early, like I knew, I just knew it. I was like, there's just no way that I've got some sort of like a final answer on imagination for moms. I'm one mom with three children.

My editor is a mom in Tasmania with two grown adult children, but I know that there are certain situations that I don't know about. So I asked people that have completely different motherhood experiences, like a single mom, or I asked a mom that she gave up her career, but she's still in a career.

It's interesting, all the different variations of a working mom like that's something big. I didn't realize Margot, like for me, I always felt like kind of in the middle, like, I didn't feel like a working mom in the sense that I would go to a corporate office and leave my kids until 8 PM. Like, that's my imagination of a corporate mom and a corporate living in Connecticut with like a Metro-North commute.

And I also didn't feel like a stay-at-home mom in terms of Purist, right? So like I'm home and I'm schlepping kids from point A to B and I'm part of the PTA or whatever it is that different people call it. I always felt like I was in the middle I was like, okay, I have an LLC, so I have a business, I have a practice, but at the same time, my income.

Quite honestly, really does look a lot like the patterns of my energy, because if I have a lot of energy and I'm not in a season of nursing, my identical twins are nursing my firstborn or moving globally, relocating. That was when I was able to tend to my business. And so for me, I felt like when I was looking at business books in the past, I would always see the perspective of someone who didn't have those things going on.

It was always someone who was oftentimes the breadwinner, who was a male who would write his perspective on how to like be successful in terms of entrepreneurship, for example. Right. But for me, I was like, well, Where, where does, where does the fact that I feel conflicted in my mind? Like, like, like, where does that come into play?

Like, what if I want to be at home with the kids, but then I also want to be doing a head talk or something? Like, how do I make that real? Or how do I make real wanting to go and be an expat in Australia, but I have a podcast where most of my guests are in the United States, how do I make that time zone situation and family time sacred real, and so that was what.

I thought was missing. That's why I wanted to write the book. Yeah, I always tell women that we're thinking about having kids and working and what should they do, I say, well, it's easy. Women have so many choices. You can have kids and not work and feel guilty. You can have kids and work full-time and feel guilty.

And you can have kids and work part-time and feel guilty. So it's like whatever we do, we're going to feel in the middle like we're not doing it right. Like we're not giving our all here and we're not giving our all there. But All you can do is your best, and like when you decided to put your book out, the perfect is the enemy of the good, right?

I mean, you, you, you just, you put it out, you do your best. You can redo it next year if you want if you've learned a bunch of stuff. I mean, it's a mistake to keep trying to get to perfect, because nothing will ever be perfect. And I think you did exactly the right thing to put your book out when you did.

so much. And, I also think that in business, for example, you actually learn more from mistakes. Like it's like, you, you have to actually try something like someone who doesn't make a mistake is cause they never really tried. Anything is what I have realized like there's just no way around it. Right. And I think also that now that the book is out in the world, I also realize that now.

The book is no longer like, just my viewpoint, people now interpret it in their own way. And I'm not going to be there right next to them saying, Oh, but what I really meant was, or what, you know what I mean? And, and that's something else that's like, it's a point of vulnerability, but it's also a point of freedom.

Cause it's like, what? Make it your own, tailor it to your situation. I believe in moms so much. Because I know that if I tell him to go and like, I don't know, run a marathon. I believe that she can for herself decide whether she wants to, or she doesn't want to run the marathon. But at least, I want to encourage a mom to consider the idea that they could do something that's astounding and they could astound themselves.

I think with the book, my ambition is to give people examples of people who are moms, but also people who are not moms who have thoroughly expressed themselves and use their imagination to the fullest. And from that collection, you decide what makes sense for your specific family and based on what you want out of life.

Yeah, I think, you know, that the reason I ended up writing my book, Raising an Entrepreneur, is because I'd meet all these young entrepreneurs at my son's organization, his conferences, and I'd ask them, like, how did they turn out the way they did? And they all said the same thing to me. They all said I had a mom who believed in me.

And so the important thing. Is that you do your best, you love your child, you believe in your child, you let your child know that they're going to be successful if they put their mind to it, you let your child know that failure is fine, as Billie Jean King says, failure is feedback, and you're there for them, and they're willing to take risks, and they love you, and they know you support them, and you know you're there for them, and they, It's a, it's a, it's a wonderful thing to be a mom and you, you, you, you give it what you can and you put in the, the time you can and, but as long as you do all these other things, as long as you're there for your kids and believe in your kids, it'll be fine.

I thoroughly believe that I think being raised by a mom who has manic depression, the one thing she would say to me is, and, and I'm just going to say it as my mom would say it, she would literally tell me that I'm a genius, like, like that's a big and tall order. But let me tell you how that hit me.

So like, for me, I would be like, I would question myself. I'd be like, wow, my mom thinks I'm a genius. Like, like, and then you, you hear it enough and you're like, well, maybe I ought to try being a genius, or maybe I ought to go for like that hard school, or maybe I should go for that full scholarship, or maybe I should go for some other crazy goal, all based on something that came out of my mom's mouth.

Right. And for me, it's like, whether she was well or not, well, as she was saying, it was something that for me, didn't even matter because, for me, it was like, hope, hopeful. It was like, if I'm a genius, I could figure this out. If I'm a genius, I could really do something extraordinary with my life.

If I'm a genius. And, it's funny how like little whispers that we tell our kids when they're sleeping or on at night, like for me. Tell my little boy secrets and I have it in the book. I have it in the acknowledgments. So I tell them secrets every night and they get three, one secret that's unique to them every single night.

So I might tell like one son of mine, Noah, who's really good at asking questions. I might like it. Flip it a little, I might be like, you are an incredible athlete. As you did so well in Jiu Jitsu today, which is actually not what he would have imagined me saying, cause I might talk about his brainiac skills, but I like flipping it a bit or I'll tell Nicholas, I'll be like, you are an amazing question asker or I'll tell Gabriel, as you have, there's such a kind heart or whatever, even if he was bugging his brothers all day.

And I feel. At night, if I'm telling them these positive secrets, I feel like I'm planting a seed, kind of like my mom planted a seed in me, right? Whether it's true, whether it's not, it's kind of like, I just want them to at least imagine something incredible about themselves and go to bed with that thought.

And I think, I think for me, it's like, like it's, it's important. It's just important. And I think for moms. I think for moms, we need the same. I think we need encouragement. I think a lot of us ask for reassurance from other people, but I think a lot of us just don't give ourselves enough credit for the inner resilience, the inner resourcefulness, and the wisdom that we actually have.

So my hope is that the book helps a mom find that out for herself again, and it's through the pathway of our imagination. Yeah, that's so sweet. And it's, it's lovely that that worked what your mom said to you. But I have to tell you these studies actually show that it's much better for kids to praise them for their work ethic, rather than for being smart.

And to say, not to say you're, you're so brilliant, you'll do well on the test, but. I know you worked really hard and that's why you'll do well on the test. The effort. Yeah, I think, I think effort, you're, you're totally right. I think effort makes a difference. I think, but I, but here's the whole thing, Margot.

I think that all depends on the mom having clarity of mind, right? So if a mom is not well, it's like, yeah, you've got to know what's going on there. But yeah, no, it's nice that you took that from her and that you came out so well. I'm sure she's so happy. Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much, Margot. This was so much fun.

I so enjoyed talking to you and I'm so happy and proud of you for your book. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, when is the next concert you're going to with one of your sons? I'm so excited for you. I don't know. Aren't you in Austin? Yeah, I'm in Austin. Oh, I should have told you they played at the F1. Oh, wow.

Oh, that's incredible. Magic giant. Wow. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. There's so much energy that your son has on stage. My gosh. Was he energetic as a kid too? Yeah. He always liked to perform. That's so cool. That's so cool. Thank you, Margot. Good luck. Shop the book today. Just check out the link in my bio Amazon.

Okay. Bye bye. I love how Margot Bisnow asked me to think about the book in terms of my own personal learned lessons because a lot of what gets lost during podcast interviews or IGTV fireside chats like this is the deeper meaning. Like, how did it feel to actually, like, have my stories out in the world? Or how did it feel to hear that a podcast guest was willing to have their episode featured in my book?

How did it feel to choose to go to a cafe on a Saturday morning instead of hanging out with my kids so that I could finish up this book and get it out to the world? Those are the things that are not really discussed on podcasts. So I appreciate Margot's notice in really pulling out in me some of the lessons that I've learned.

If you have a book in your heart, I really hope this gives you some courage and encouragement to actually start putting pens to paper. I promise you, no one even has to see your first draft. You didn't see mine. So be aware. Fertile imagination is try number three, and it took two years and a SWAT team of support.

So please, if you enjoy this conversation, if you got some value, and if the review resonated with you, go ahead to Amazon.com and shop the book today. Fertile imagination, Melissa Llarena. This will be in the show notes. If you shop the book, I would be so smitten if you took an opportunity today to write two to three sentences about the book that makes a big difference.

And every single day, there are 3 million moms that will shop on Amazon. This is back-of-the-envelope math. And I would love the opportunity for Amazon to help me, help me get the word out. And here's the reason why. The reason is this. I want more moms to understand that whatever they have in their hearts, it's there for a reason.

It's because they have what it takes to actually execute this idea. And this is a global conversation. And so that's why the Kindle format is still available. And that's why this is available in a slew of stores. But Amazon is where the reviews are. And so that's why I would love for you to have an opportunity to visit online, share your thoughts, share the book, and let me know.

Let me know if you go ahead and write a review based on this conversation. I would love to know that this is helping you. This is encouraging you to step outside of your comfort zone and leave a review. Thank you again. And Oh my God, until January 2, 2024, may you have the best New Year's. May you be safe.

May you and your family be safe. I'm gonna tell you what I tell my little boys when I drop them off from school. I love you. Be safe. Please do. Be safe. Thank you.

Welcome to Episode 209. In today's episode, you are going to hear how I landed some big-name podcast guests on this podcast Unimaginable Wellness. You'll hear from Beth Nydick, the creator of the F.A.M.E Formula. This conversation happened on my book launch day for Fertile Imagination. Beth Nydick is a PR expert. Definitely check her out. She is the type of mom who, like me, loves a good dare. As it relates to my book launch in October, a dare might be the key to your success. I want to invite you to consider that as the holiday season continues. You might need the jolt of energy that a good dare provides. What if you do show up to a holiday party with PR movers and shakers? Can that distinguish you? You'll want to listen to this chat and take notes! The art of daring yourself to do things has worked for me, and it might work for you.

If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu

TRANSCRIPT

I also wanted to point out that Beth is an empty nester. And a lot of empty nesters have actually weighed in on Amazon in terms of reviews. For Fertile Imagination, my debut book, which launched and is available to you right now on Amazon, and you can purchase or write a review if you've already purchased it.

Here's something that you might not know. So empty nesters have weighed in and a lot of them say that they wish they had this book either back in the seventies as Kathy Ryan said, and she was an and made their executive and now she's a great grandmother. Or a book that they needed 20 years ago, such as my editor, Amanda McMahon.

She's actually in Australia and you'll see her name in the book as my editor. Here's what she said and is available for you to read on Amazon as a review. She says, I was hooked the minute Melissa pitched her idea to me. Her passion for helping moms who want a rewarding, but balanced life is contagious.

Coupled with the wisdom of her podcast guests, we'll have you reach for a pen to fill out the questions at the end of each chapter. Every mom will find something in her book that speaks to them from challenging your inner, your imposter syndrome to acting classes to help create a new persona. Yes, I took acting classes.

Melissa says she knows how hard it is to find time for yourself. She has three sons, including twins, and that is true. So her humorous, self-deprecating stories will be relevant to you. So I love, love, love that Amanda shares this perspective. Isn't it interesting how you might not realize that in your own writing, but someone else who's like really in between the lines can notice how you approach and the tone of your voice.

So I wanted to share with you a snippet of Amanda's Amazon review because every single review matters so much. There are about 3 million moms who search and log into Amazon every single day. That is my back-of-the-envelope sort of shortcut thinking based on some of the stats they have online. And what happens is if a book has a hundred or more Amazon reviews, Amazon will go ahead and suggest the book as a product that they can purchase.

Right now, you know it, if you are shopping for the holidays. There are so many moms looking for the perfect gifts for their mothers, their grandmothers, their sisters, their friends, and their cousins. And wouldn't it be amazing if fertile imagination were suggested by Amazon? And in order to do that, it would be really important to have a written Amazon review.

On Amazon as soon as possible because timing matters every single day that I am not at that goal of a hundred Amazon written reviews. That's three million missed opportunities to tell a mom that she can do it. Others have done it. And here is how through the use of your fertile imagination. Enjoy this conversation with Beth Neidick.

And I hope that you absolutely get some value. If you are a woman in business and you've ever wanted to work with a very powerful influencer, I share some tips, and again, dare yourself to do something this holiday season. See if it puts a jolt in your step. It worked for me. Tune in and enjoy the conversation.

So I wanted to know how you got so many of my friends to talk to you today because I went back on their calendar and I looked at your list and I was like, Oh my God, we know all the same people. And that made me think of all the big names who are in your book too. Yeah, all the big names. So I like talking to strangers and I think that's why I was able to like do this book.

Ultimately, 25 podcast guests have appeared on Unimaginable Wellness since 2017, James Altucher, Gary V, Susie Batiz, and Beth Comstock. These are like really outstanding individuals you see on TV that you feel like, Oh wow, they're like totally hard to grasp, get in touch with. But for me. My podcast started with a dare.

And so one day I was cooking rice and beans as a Latina mom does. And my husband was listening to James Altucher, who you may have heard of and he was chatting with Gary Vee saying anyone that launches a podcast because of this conversation, I will be your guest number three. And then the other person, whoever I kind of swapped right now said I'll be guest number four.

And so it's pretty hilarious because I thought it was going to be easy. I was like, Oh, surely they promised we were from like the East Coast. So we kind of get like, maybe not. Right. So you know what I had to do? I had to, with my husband, go to James Altucher's comedy club and show up there. And he poked fun at me, actually.

I was like, what is it then, the butt of his joke or whatever. And so I tweeted at him after the fact and I said, yeah, it was me, the person you poked fun of. Can you be on my podcast? And he invited me to his home. To interview him. Yeah. Upper West side. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I had to get a crew. So of course I got a former podcast guest who was, who's the trombone dancer, by the way, he's in New York City.

He will play the trombone and dance. Okay. Jonathan Arons. And I asked a former client of mine, who's a military mom to come with me to manage logistics. And that's how it started. It was a dare and it's, it's really about doing things that other people won't do. So like you might want to approach people and you're a PR expert.

So you might want to approach people online, but if you show up in their comedy club, you distinguish yourself immediately. So that was one way that I got one person, James Altucher on my podcast. I showed up, I just showed up. Well, yay. Good, good for you. And that's honestly something I tell my clients all the time is like, it just sending an email or DM is not actually going to get you there, right?

You need an intro. You need something interesting. I think those grassroots old-school tactics, like postcards, or even a letter. Like, how much mail does Gary Vee's company actually get? Probably not that much because no one does anymore. But you send an 11 by 17 message or letter to him, he's going to open it, or at least his assistant will open it.

But anybody that you want, I hear so often from clients of mine that want to get their products on celebrities. And it's like, DM them six times. And I'm like, That's actually not going to help you. What's going to actually help you is getting the publicist's email list or getting on the phone with the publicist or the manager.

There are so many more ways to do this not only being dared, which I love, love, love the fact that you were being dared, but that you just like showed up in the flesh because that's what makes the difference. And that's, it goes back to like what we actually, what we talked about the other day in private, it's about the relationships.

Yeah. Creating the opportunity for you to have a relationship that ultimately will be the opportunity for your success 100%. And I think it's about counting yourself in. And I think a lot of times we count ourselves out and we decline ourselves. Like we don't even give ourselves the opportunity to put the offer out and get a yes or no.

We say no in our head, or we say, you know what? They're going to say no. Right. And then you stop yourself. So like with Beth Comstock, who's also in the book, former CMO of GE, I didn't grow up with connections. When I saw GE, I would think like, I don't know the light bulb or whatever. And maybe I think Edison, is right.

Was he involved with the wrong company right now? Anyway, the point of the matter is it was something that just felt so far reached. Right. But with Beth Comstock, I went to ad week in New York City. And I showed up at like, I think it was the equality lounge or something like that. And I asked her, it wasn't even in person though.

That one, I did a follow-up. I had already gotten Gary Vee and when I asked her, do you know that she said yes right away? And then in the book, I document this. I chickened out, I chickened out because she said yes, right away. I had not felt like I earned it. Her being on my podcast, the way that I earned in my mind, Gary Vee and James Altucher with everything that I did, was like a hundred-day sprint of trying to reach out to these two guys.

And so with her, I remember, and I have this in the book when I talk about imposter syndrome and feeling like you don't belong, you're not enough. Like so many of us feel that way, whether you're a mom or a business owner, and you're trying to play bigger. I had to go up to Beth. A second time, this was a year later into it.

When I funny enough, there seemed to move me when I dared my client, my client to actually talk to a decision maker, cause she wanted to land a job opportunity. And I told her, I said, you know what, I'll do it with you. You talk to that person and I'll go back and I'll reach out to bed, come stop. And so I call that courage and company, right?

So sometimes you don't want to do it alone. And so you bring someone with you and that's what I did. I love that. I think it's also that's also like having people in your corner can give you the possibility of that big goal that big thing because like I'm, you know me I'm always transparent and I always tell my husband's like you tell everybody everything I'm like well that's what helps all of us.

I'm working on a big project for 2024. I spoke to three friends two of them Their advice was to keep it small. One friend gave me the possibility of what I could create from the project. And I didn't realize They were feeding into, like, safety and you're okay, and you put yourself out there and you could, right, I can retreat and kind of do this on a smaller level, and she was like, Do you know what your name is?

Do you know who you are? Like, we don't do things small, we do, and it's what, it's what you do, it's what I do, and I think so often we don't, we talk about the people that we keep in our circle, but we also think what, where their perception is. On the possibility of anything. Oh, a hundred percent because that's why for me, Fertile Imagination is the title of the book.

It's like, you are looking at a vision. You're casting a vision that you may have never seen another mom in your circle, including in your family actually execute. So if your top five people have never run a marathon and all of a sudden you want to run a marathon, that's when you need to get fertile baby.

Okay, that's, that's when you need to just be like, all right, I got to figure this out on my own. And that's when sometimes you have to go outside of your family, outside of your circle, even outside of your country to find the people that are doing things that make you light. up. That's why the book has people from all over the world and people who have life experiences and many of them are totally unlike my own.

I don't have a similar life experience as Muyambi who created a nonprofit Cycle Connect in Uganda. Like he and I, we went to Tuck to business school, but we didn't even know each other at Tuck. Number one, that was me talking to a stranger again, which I really, I really love. But number two, he just has a completely different viewpoint on urgency, right?

So if there's a problem you want to solve anywhere around the world, and you're a mom and you're in the middle of a little community, let's say, or whatever, that urgency should be enough to make you say to yourself, I don't know if I have what it takes, but I want to solve that problem wherever your heart draws your attention to.

Right. So that's the beauty. I love that. Well, let's talk about those. I know you have three stages of the fertile imagination. Let's talk a little bit about that because I think, like, even when you just tell me about it, it helps me. So let's talk about it. Yeah. So a fertile imagination, again, it's like having that vision.

You've never seen it before, but it's enough to drive you to like it. Do what it takes to make it happen. So there are three steps. The first one is waking up your imagination. So the deal is we're not sleeping as moms, but our imagination has been sleeping this whole time. So our imagination is only going to come out and play if it feels confident that we're going to play with it.

Right? So if you have this bright idea. And every time you had this idea, you kept pushing it away. Your imagination is not going to give you some more bright ideas. It's going to be like, this lady doesn't want to play. It's not safe. I'm not coming out. So it goes to sleep. So step one, wake up your imagination.

How do you wake it up? It's that inner work. It's reflecting on what you want. And, and your relationship with calling yourself creative as well. And when I say creative, it's not just like arts and crafts. It's like creative problem-solving. It's. Innovating. It's coming up with fresh ideas. Then it's about, okay, I woke up the imagination.

Now I want to play with it. Right? So it's like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. So again, you're practicing. Okay. How can I re-imagine the way that I mother, for example, how can I reimagine the way that I bring this business idea to the market? How can I reimagine strategic partnerships or solutions to problems that have yet to be solved?

So it's cross-pollination. It's like all these businessy things that you could apply as a mom as well in your life, right? So that's. Playing with your imagination. And that's where you have the examples that I gave, like Beth Comstock, going to Korea, to a K-pop band, to come up with a brilliant idea for GE sounds hard to, to imagine, but that's what it is.

You got to go really all out. The third stage is about stretching your imagination. So any human out there, business owner, a mom, you want to duplicate yourself. This is how you duplicate yourself. You ask. For help, this is how you stretch your imagination. You tell other people your idea and you give them the language to be able to share that idea with their people.

Right? So it's about really taking this ability that you and I had as little girls, the ability to pretend right now is Halloween today. You see people pretending they're all sorts of things. Right. Yeah, we were like that. I may pretend that I was Madonna in the eighties. I pretended that I was punky Brewster maybe.

Right. And it was fun. It was fun. And we played with these ideas. And now as moms, it's like being a mom, it's, it's a role. It's an identity and you could really play with it. Just like being an entrepreneur, you could play with that. And so it's about having that psychological flexibility. With which to tackle life, life is an adventure.

You have to figure it out and be nimble. Yeah, I totally agree. And I'm listening to you as an empty nester mom because I'm going to, I'm in the next stage of what it actually like to be a mom. And as a mom, I know you have a lot of little kids in your house, not little, but little, little, or other mine, it takes time too.

It took carve out that time to have that imagination because I think a lot of times moms don't take the 15 minutes in the bathroom to think they take it to just kind of decompress But that's that taking that time to actually think to roll over your ideas To really figure out what you want to be doing next, whatever chapter you're in.

I think that's really hard for moms to do. Like, what's your advice to, to, when you're like, well, I'm too busy to think about myself. How do we take the time to think about ourselves? Because to be honest, I have a lot more time now and it's, and it's, it's a little uncomfortable, to be honest. Really? Having time?

All the moms are listening to you like, what? Oh my god, I want to feel uncomfortable. Oh, you're so funny years. I've been used to like be having them here. And then for me, I didn't realize how much of my community was my kids' community. And now that that's moved on. There's a lot of space, and I now need to recreate the community of people who are supporting me in different ways.

Yeah, I think this need for connection, this loneliness epidemic, and how moms seldom kind of like, fess up to one another. Like, this is how I feel, and I'm kind of confused of how to approach this, and it's something that we keep to ourselves oftentimes. I think giving ourselves time to reflect on anything, at any stage of motherhood, is the biggest value add for our entire lives.

For example, in the book, I interviewed someone who's known for Socratic method questions, Mark Champagne. And what he had to say was that let's imagine you're constantly interrupted. No mom knows what that feels like. But yeah, we're constantly interrupted. Well, here's what happens. One interruption is going to take you off course for whatever you plan for that very specific day.

If you don't take a second to reflect on it, wait a minute, what was I planning to do right now as it related to my long-term plan? If you don't take that second, that pause. Ask yourself deeper questions about why you're doing what you're doing that could be a 10-year, like off-track sort of road, as opposed to like a five-minute, like, wait a minute, let me get back on track and back on goal.

So those pauses, while they might feel like superfluous and not as. you're in the heat of motherhood, they can absolutely save you a decade. For, I remember I was coaching 12 years now, working with women in corporations. They didn't have time to breathe, not even right. It was like, you're just moving and you're flying by the seat of your pants and all that stuff.

And for them, it's like, Oh, wait a minute. When I would work with them, it's like, I had not. Thought of what I wanted out of my career. I had not considered how I wanted to experience my life after work. Like there's so many unknowns and you know what happens? Other people define them for you if you don't take hold of that.

Yeah. And put you in a place, right? And then there's not any possibility because I always talk to my clients the same way. It's like, what, what is possible for you for this lifetime? What is possible? Now what always comes up and I think we talked about before too and it's in the book like the stories of Why I Can't stories that when you can create that story like you can make anything mean anything so in this idea of imagination creating the story of I'm infinite and I can do anything I want and I think you live you and I really live by that Because who told you, you could write a book who told me I could write a book.

Oh, girl. Oh yeah. Everyone. Amen. Right. Yeah. That's so that's the whole thing. You know, I wish like, I do wish sometimes that someone would just tell me like, play by play, like Melissa, you're writing a book now, then you're doing a Ted talk, then you're doing a this, but the truth of the matter is that if I don't choose it for myself, I'm actually not even as excited about it.

To be honest, I've, I've tried, I've tried to fake the funk and want what other people want for me, but it's really hard because that takes extra energy, right? Like if you have something you want to do and it comes from you, there's just like a surge that makes it possible. It's funny you say that.

Because I was at my therapist earlier. And I'm just talking about what I'm doing. I'm doing a launch and I have this project idea and he said when you talk about this project, you light up. He's when you love your business, but there's a different level of passion when you talk about this project and that, right?

That's like, oh, I should be paying attention to that because a lot of people don't. Your life is like when you imagine what could be possible or what cannot be possible. What do you see? A lot of the blocks are for the moms that you work with. I think a lot of them, it's this collective agreement that there are excuses that are totally valid in all situations.

So it's almost like as moms, it's like, we don't have enough time. Like everybody agrees now. It's almost like we got into this room and we all spoke before the meeting. And we said, let's all agree that we can all say we don't have time. And that's the imagination from working. Or I don't, I want to spend time with my kids at this age.

They're only going to be one for one year, right? They're only going to be in this stage for that particular time. And what I say to that is. Our dreams also have timestamps, like if somebody's looking to get into AI, you need to do it now, not 10 years from now. Right. So there's timestamps. If you want to run a marathon in the age category of being a 40-year-old woman, yeah, you're going to be in your forties now.

I mean, I guess we could repeat it, but it's not realistic. So. So it's like collectively we've said, okay, if a mom says she doesn't have time, take it as is and move on. Or if a mom says I don't have childcare or if I don't have the education or if I don't have the connections, then it's like we accept it.

And in the book, I mean, I spoke with someone that's a Hall of Famer rugby player. Okay. In gym class in elementary school, I was the last kid to get picked for every single team sport. So for me to talk to someone who is in a completely different position is like, like fairy tale land stuff. Right.

And, I could have like, by the way, no one told me to reach out to Phaidra Knight. That was me. Like, no one told me, I don't even watch Rugby. But I just felt like I wanted to talk to somebody who had a perspective on standards and the standards that you hold yourself up to. And so while we might have standards that our kids have to be perfectly polished when it comes to family photo sessions, not me, but people do.

My standard is, well, I need to constantly be growing professionally, like period. I don't need to work for Procter and Gamble to have a performance evaluation that I'm marking my success metric by, like I have my own, right? So to your point, Beth, it's like. How, what's the standard for your life?

Right? Like, is it okay for you to use time as an excuse? It's not my standard. Like it's, it's more like if I don't want to do it, I'll use time. But if I want to do it, I don't even think about time. We're like time warping, you know? I love that. I love the whole concept of that. And when I talk to my clients and they're talking about their sales calls, if somebody says time, I'm like, that's an excuse, how do we reach?

Reframe what time is, but a lot of nerve talking this time and time. It takes time to read your book. So let's talk a little bit about why they should make the time to read your book. Absolutely. So the book is made and it's structured in a way that you don't have to read it in one sitting. That's not the idea.

The idea is it's a guide that you have on your bookshelf, right? And every time that you feel like you're stuck and you just need a little inspiration, you grab the book, you look at a chapter that really draws your attention. Like, let's say you don't feel decisive or you don't feel, or you feel like an imposter, go to that chapter and then see how someone else has managed to take that.

Feeling and like flip it in a different direction, right? Reframe it, reposition it. So if you're a mom right now who feels like, okay, there's got to be a better way. Like right now I feel like I'm dragging through life. I feel like I'm everybody else's cheerleader. I feel like I'm not myself. Self, right?

Like I don't, I'm not happy. Like if you're not happy right now, this is your opportunity to see what else might be available to you. If you've tried like the therapies and you've tried coaching and you've tried and I'm going out here. Because I have tried therapy and it takes me to the back, right?

History. And it's really hard to pull myself forward. Sometimes I've tried coaching and it just depends if you're in a business space and you want marketing coaching, then that's great. But that might not solve some limiting beliefs. Right. But if you feel like. You have more to give to yourself, right? If you feel like you have something inside of you that you want to put out in the world, then grab the book, grab the book, because you're going to see, you're going to see me and my mistakes, and you're going to see other people and like their greatest achievements.

And there's going to be this middle ground that is perfect for you. And I give you questions that you can use to tailor your path. So it's very practical, but it's also very approachable because you could just look at it like one chapter for a whole week if that's your heart's desire and take action. I love that.

I love it so much. And like always, where can everyone buy your book? Just go to the link in my bio today. And if you're not a mom, you could give it as a gift in the Kindle format. So gifted to a mom who you believe in today is the day of imagination. Let's invite moms to rediscover our imaginations as well.

Use today to start. Well, congratulations on the book and everything that you put together. I can't wait to read the book. I can't wait to be on your podcast. And I'm so grateful that we got a chance to catch up today. So thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much, Beth. You're amazing. Have a beautiful rest of the day in the neighborhood and may you have amazing bagels very soon.

Thank you. Bye, everybody. I love Beth's energy and I think that my energy matches her energy, but she's an empty nester. So isn't that cool? Like you could actually be in any season of motherhood and step it up. So I want to also invite you if you have shopped for the book Fertile Imagination, you take the opportunity two minutes today to go ahead, go to Amazon.com, look up Fertile Imagination or look at your orders, and then go ahead and write two to three sentences. In terms of the book itself, two to three sentences go a long way every single day. Three million moms log into Amazon and that's three million missed opportunities. If we delay one day of writing a review if you have not purchased the book.

Then I invite you to go ahead and shop the book. If the review resonated with you, go ahead and gift the book. If you are not sure how to actually like a gift your sister-in-law or your mother-in-law or your friend, something that really conveys the message that you believe in their ideas and you believe in them.

This would be the book to put in a stocking. This would be the book to put under a holiday tree. This would be a book. To give someone that you deeply believe in and that you want to see sore, enjoy the rest of the season and I hope you're done with your holiday shopping and I hope you're done with the things that might have really weighed heavy on your mind.

So thank you for this conversation and have a good one.

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Welcome to Episode 208. Christmas is drawing near. My twins are soon going to be 10 years old. This is a huge moment for my family and I can imagine yours too. A moment of chaos and stress in a lot of ways. Hence, this is why I wanted to share with you an amazing conversation that I had with Jenna Hermans Hermans, who is the Queen of Calm and the author of Chaos to Calm: 5 Ways Busy Parents Can Break Free from Overwhelm. Jenna Hermans interviewed me on book launch day for Fertile Imagination, my debut book for moms who want to stretch the power of their imagination so that they can use it for maximum impact. It was a conversation that I thought would make perfect sense timing wise because WE'RE in the thick of a cyclical season of motherhood in the sense that the holidays require so much of us and it might feel overwhelmingly chaotic. Hence, my hope is that this conversation offers some ideas on how you can remain calm, but you can do more than that...you can celebrate yourself, celebrate other moms, and you can do all of this with greater ease even during the busy seasons of mom life. That's like the greatest gift you can give a mom, in my opinion ---- acknowledgment that you see her shining and it lights you up too.

If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu

TRANSCRIPT

So here's the thing. I would love your support.

I need your support. Moms need your support. I need to get to 100 Amazon reviews as soon as humanly possible. And every day that I'm not at that goal, I am missing out on really sharing with moms, 3 million moms very specifically, each day that fertile imagination is a possibility for them too. Fertile Imagination is a book that can help support them, that can inspire them and that can get them feeling excited about what they have going on again.

So I want to share with you what an Amazon review sounds like. It is available right now on Amazon. This is from Kerry Hughes. And what's amazing is that she and I were on an expat experience in Australia. And so if you've ever considered being an expat. You'll see that you will love being part of an expat community.

So here's her review on Amazon. She wrote it out. She took some time to really share her opinion about the book. She says if there is one type of person that could use her support out there in the world right now, it is moms. Yet the world seems set up to only demand more of them. This book is a great addition to the possible places moms can look for inspiration and support.

I think Kerry's idea that moms need support and the idea that the world is set up to only demand more of them, was just highlighted, put in bold, and italicized for me during the pandemic, and it's part of the reason why I wrote Fertile Imagination during that time, I had to just say that, okay, I'm pausing my business because I need to homeschool my three little boys.

And it's also the reason why I feel really, really passionate about this idea that we have to use our imagination in order to navigate our lives. It is like Indiana Jones out there. There are boulders that we are running away from that. We need to just run more quickly. So that is what Kerry has to say about the book Fertile Imagination.

I would love to see your review on Amazon. It will help us share this message of empowerment, inspiration, and support to moms around the world. If we have a hundred or more written out two to three-sentence Amazon reviews, that is how Amazon will determine whether it is suggested to a mom who is actually shopping on Amazon anyway.

And right now I know for me, I have literally spent hours on Amazon trying to get. Everything is off of my Christmas shopping list. And I know right now is a big, big moment for a lot of us. So I wanted to share that with you. Enjoy the conversation with Jenna Hermans queen of calm. It was so amazing to share with her what the three steps are to optimizing a fertile imagination and what a fertile imagination ultimately is.

Hello, mom of four. How are you doing? Great. How are you? It's a pub date for you. Oh my gosh. No, it's like crazy, but we're going to keep it calm. No chaos here. No chaos here today. Today you've done all the work already. Your book is officially in the world. You've done everything. Now you just get to enjoy.

You get to be celebrated and to celebrate this huge accomplishment. You wrote, published, and designed a book. You did all of this fertile imagination. It is beautiful and amazing. And I hope you feel so proud of this accomplishment. Oh my God, Jenna Hermans. Yeah. I feel so, I feel so proud of this accomplishment.

It's like, I feel proud of my family too. I mean, like you, you have to be supported, right? In order to accomplish something that's so big. So I was telling my little boys today and I was telling my husband, I was like, wow, like this is, this is like a family thing. This is something we all did together.

Like the moments when mommy had to go to the cafe to write. Or the moments when my husband had to hang out with the boys when he couldn't get a weekend. So it's, it's a family thing. It's a family affair. So super proud of us, of us, of us all, to be honest. So yeah. What is the big deal? It's a big deal, my friend.

And so I'd love to ask you a little bit about the book, right? Like, so why the title Fertile Imagination? Why that? What does that mean to you? Yeah. So for me, it's about casting this vision that's like really big, right? So a fertile imagination can cast a big vision that's going to like give you the energy you need and the lift you need to execute it. And it's particularly fertile if it's one that you've never seen a mom accomplish before. So it could be like your own family, maybe your own mom or like the moms you've been around or raised around, or it could be moms on TV, like in another country, in another sector. If you're an entrepreneur.

So it's like really doing things that haven't been done by someone who has a lot of caregiving responsibilities, where like the stakes are high, like ultra high, like, like we want so much for our children. So there's that, that idea that we want to give them the best, we want them to have the best life experience.

And so at the same time, I think a path to that is giving yourself a chance to feel your best, to give yourself the best life experience. I think it's not just like them or you. I think it's like both. And what are you like, how does this work out in real-time? How do you do this? And how does the book lay this out?

So the book has three sections to it. So the way that you optimize a fertile imagination, it just starts with waking it up. So if you think about maybe, at least for me as a little girl on Halloween, like I was anything I wanted to imagine, right? So if I imagined myself being punky Brewster, if I wanted it to be Madonna, if I wanted to be whatever, like I had the silliness, right?

And the permission to just be whatever I want it to be. And so that idea that you can be whatever you want to be, it fits in very well if you're a mom in the modern era, because we have to play so many different roles and the same way we switch. Costumes, so to speak for other people, like whether we're like the soccer mom, the yoga mom, or whatever we can do the same for ourselves in different categories of our lives.

So you start out by waking up your imagination. You say, you know what, I actually want to write a book or I actually want to run a marathon or I want to do something that's like crazy talk, quote-unquote, right? And I want that. I want that challenge. So you basically want to just heal your relationship by thinking that you're worthy of going after that challenge thinking that you've got what it takes with thinking that you should even though you have mom responsibilities and that's step one you're waking up your imagination by saying you know what let me be sure that my imagination is confident enough to know that when it wakes up And it wants to play.

I'm willing to play with it. So you start with that inner game, right? Self-reflection and all that. Step two is playing with the imagination. So how does that look in real time playing with the imagination can look like this. Okay. Here I am. I'm a mom. I have three kids and I have a book tour. I have seen everybody else.

Physically go to bookstores around the United States in order to like, talk about their book. I'm playing with my imagination today. I'm doing it online digital so that this way I can take my kids trick or treating at night today. Right. And so I can scale my time right as well. So playing with the imagination only means giving yourself permission to step outside your comfort zone and do things very differently because that's how they best work for you.

Period. Right. So that's playing with the imagination, being creative. And the people I have in that section of the book, they've played with their imagination, whether it's in a corporate setting, whether it's in their personal home life or entrepreneurship, like they've decided that there were certain non-negotiables that they would build their business around as an example.

And then stretching your imagination, the way that looks is exactly like this. So it's like, it's asking for help as a parent. As a mom, we ask for help. A lot of times we ask for help when our kids need things, right? So we'll ask other moms, Hey, do you know a great orthodontist or Hey, what's a good team sport or whatever, but what about for you?

And so stretching your imagination means. Hey Jenna Hermans, can you help me out? Today's book launch day. Can we do an IGTV live and talk about the book? And so in that way whatever message I have like on my heart Like I'm sharing it with you and you're sharing it with other people and so there's this Amplitive sort of I don't know if I said it right sort of effect Right.

So that's stretching your imagination. I'm thinking beyond myself as an individual who can only do certain things in 24 hours, I'm thinking, how can I spread myself, but not thin, you know? Mm hmm. And how are there examples of the three-step process throughout the book? And can you give us one example? So, for example, in the book, I have as almost like the culmination of like, this is what a fully expressed fertile imagination looks like.

I have the CEO of Giving Tuesday. And for those of you who might not know you always have black Friday and Cyber Monday, but then there's Giving Tuesday where the idea is you're donating money to a cause. So Asha Curan, she actually is the CEO of this global organization And what she was able to do using her fertile imagination Is she was able to say you know what I want to spread generosity throughout the world. Right?

And when she was offered the opportunity to be the CEO, instead of holding herself back and feeling frozen by imposter syndrome, she said, yes, how, right? And so the way that it comes across very practically is that she then started talking about this idea of spreading generosity across the world. She then.

Hired a team of people who would join her mission, right? And help mobilize this movement globally. She then also lets go, which is something that a lot of moms have a hard time doing. So she let people in different countries express generosity in a very localized. Relevant, authentic, and necessary way.

Right. So her vision was originally her vision, right? She had this fertile imagination, this huge vision. I haven't seen a mom necessarily lead like generosity across the world and bring in 1. 5 billion in a day, right? Through the help of the world, I'm going to do it. And then I'm going to figure out how along the way.

And so you also grow as you. Continue the path along your own mission. So with Asha being the example, I mean, it was just beautiful. When I interviewed her on my podcast, she was sharing how ultimately this was this vision she had upfront, but it's become so much bigger than she could have ever imagined.

And so that's something else that happens, right? Like, let's say you want to do something, Jenna Hermans, and then you start telling other people who are inspired by you, then all of a sudden it could be a movement. It could be something that's like global and it could really make a big impact. So that's fertile imagination. Fully expressed. It's like everybody knows what you're about other people think that that's cool too. And so you all want to kind of like join arms and like do something that's incredible together. So it's very much about the collective as, as moms and as dreamers, like I'm a dreamer, but I'm in equal parts, a doer.

And I think that's the other side of it. And I think that's why you have to stretch your imagination because you can only execute through the help of others as well. Absolutely. And so is this book specifically for moms or could anyone else get something from it? Yeah. So a lot of caregivers specifically are getting a lot of value from the book because what it is, is essentially, let's say you go and you step into the role of caring for like an aging parent, or let's say you step into the role of like adopting your stepchildren or something, right?

You're like kind of new fish out of the water. Like, Oh my gosh, this is like a big deal. You have to, you have to, when you take on a new role, really, really imagine to yourself like, wait, how can I make this work for me? Given what I already had going on, given what I didn't finish or cross off my to-do list or bucket list, how can I make it work for me?

And so the book Fertile Imagination, it's really for someone that is, has stepped into a role. Where they have been told, you're no longer 1st anymore, right? Your needs and wants are no longer the top priority and basically someone who wants to start charting out their own particular path on how they intend to play that role.

It's very heavy in terms of Mom's stuff, because I've been a mom for 12 years. I have three little boys and I've also been an entrepreneur for 12 years, but I also bring the clients that worked in corporations and also my extra 10 years working in corporations as well to the table. So these conversations, they're brave conversations that we need to have with ourselves so that this way we could actually make the impact that we're capable of in any setting, especially as caregivers.

So what do you hope that the readers, the caregivers take away from reading fertile imagination? I mean, the number one thing is that they read any part of fertile imagination, whether it's a particular chapter or a prompt, and then they take immediate action, like period. I don't need to know about it.

No one needs to know about it. But if you, for example, have an idea in your heart and you read a chapter. There's such a chapter that's about being the single-minded focus, let's say. And now, well, I can write an affirmation that's going to support me as I pursue that idea that's on my heart. Like if you literally write the affirmation down, like that to me is the greatest expression of like.

The impact has been made. There's like something there, something tangible. There are even therapeutic properties. So like literally writing out things. And so I, I just want, I want moms to heal. Like I really, really do. Like that's the big, big, big goal. I've seen so many moms in a corporate setting suffer from what I call career trauma and in an entrepreneurial setting suffer.

From what I call the cliff, they fall off a cliff because you're burning out. You've got to keep up with people that have different responsibilities. And I want to stop that and prevent that. But I also want moms to like, know that you need to heal. You can't just mask it. No matter how much lipstick you put on, it's not, it's not going away.

You've got to address what you feel inside. And the reason is because your kids are then going to realize, Oh, if I have something inside, then I'm going to have to address it too. They have to see you do it so that they know that it's normal and it's something that's good for them too. So this healing is important.

So it sounds like the book is, is granting permission for caregivers to. To be ambitious, to dream big, to heal their trauma, and to role model that to the people they're caring for. Absolutely. I think this permission, I think when I think about the moms that I've coached, a lot of the moms are like top executives.

They were in boardrooms and they were doing these very major things. Right. And then when they became moms, it's almost like you feel like mush. It's kind of like, Oh my God, like, am I feeding the baby enough food? Is the baby like gonna walk by a certain timeframe? Right. And these are like powerful women who are now all of a sudden when they became moms seeking this reassurance for some things that are like motherhood-related things, let's say.

And so for me, it's like that permission, that reassurance. That okay, or pat on the back, like, yeah, go and, and step outside of your comfort zone. I want moms to like, bring it back into themselves and take back their power. I think it's complete BS, like that we have to wait for anyone to tell us to write a book, launch a business, quit our job, stay at home, have our kids go to this other school, or whatever.

Like we don't need anyone to tell us these things. And I think it's time. Like it's just time. Yeah. Absolutely. And then, so you have a podcast as well, and how do the podcast and the book marry together? So here's the best part. What I found in terms of waking up your imagination is that your imagination is not going to wake up if you're like dragging yourself through the ground.

So if you're like totally drained and you're not feeling very sane, for lack of a better word, then your imagination is not going to come out and play because it's going to think that you're going to ignore it. You're not going to have the energy. So my podcast, Unimaginable Wellness, what it does is it helps you in terms of bubble-wrapping your sanity.

That's like step one. Like you need to be good. You need to be good from a wellness perspective, whether it's like physically, whether it's managing anxiety, whether it's. anything, right? You need to be good. That's the baseline. That's the survival that a lot of us moms feel that we're in. Like I can barely survive.

Now you're asking me to thrive. So I want to basically provide an opportunity for moms to first let's solve this whole survival thing. And that's the podcast. And the book is really about like, Great. Now you're surviving. Let's get to thriving. And you know what? For me, at least sometimes the key to my survival has been the ambition and pursuit of what I want to strive towards.

Like I need big challenges to get me out of bed. I need big challenges to be like, Oh no, Melissa, you're not going to step back anymore. That's just me. Maybe it's a quirk, but it's, it's something that has helped me. It's like I rise to the challenge when I need to. Yeah. Incredible. Oh my gosh. Well, I am so excited for you.

Where can we find your book now that it's in the world? Yes. You could absolutely grab the Kindle format 99 cents a day, and help it become a bestseller on Amazon. And you could definitely gift it to a mom, even in its Amazon Kindle format way. If you're in the U S. And I mean, it's all on Amazon and the link in my bio.

So like you could certainly find it everywhere and anywhere on Amazon's fertile imagination a guide for searching every mom's superpower for maximum impact. I am so grateful to you Jenna Hermans. So I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for sharing your superpowers with us, your story, and this beautiful manifestation of your gift to the world.

Thank you so much. Appreciate you. Congrats again. Thank you! Bye! Bye! Isn't Jenna Hermans amazing? I think for me, what really sticks out is that Jenna Hermans even says that she feels like an honor in terms of supporting me in my endeavors. I had Jenna Hermans on the podcast and I think that word really resonates deeply because it's not a common word and I feel so supported and I feel so like warm in terms of anyone leveraging that word to interact with me.

Like there's so much, I'm just humbled. I'm like super, super humbled because Jenna Hermans's like a mom of four, and she's doing it and she's calm. Can't say I'm always calm. I'm definitely in the chaos realm, but thank you Jenna Hermans for the conversation and for the book launch positive vibes. I would love to invite you right now to go ahead, just take out your cell phone, and go to Amazon.com. If you haven't shopped the book and you enjoy the review, go ahead, and grab the book. If you are interested in writing a review, then please do so go ahead to Amazon.com and look up the book Fertile Imagination, scroll all the way down, and then just left-click on write a review. Your two to three sentences about the book are so important and will help me share the message with more moms and more moms could use our support right now.

This book is absolutely about supporting moms and inspiring us all. To do our best and really think about ourselves for change. And I know right now in the holidays, I'm thinking about how to have the most magical Christmas holiday, but for real, I think it's important for me to think about what I want to feel as well.

And so I invite you to do the same.

​

Welcome to Episode 207. In today's conversation, I actually had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Lana Ashby Rowder, the founder of LookingGlass Lifestyle, which is about styling yourself and leveraging technology in order to make this wonderful, wonderful gift of aesthetics, a possibility for every single person. I wanted to just share something before we jump in. Lana and I met at a library. It was me talking to strangers which brought us together. She helped me pick out the style that made sense for my book cover of Fertile Imagination. Cool, right? This conversation was on book launch day, and I'm sharing that with you because there was so much excitement in terms of the possibilities of this book. Also, the book managed to get to position one in the motherhood category and also number one in women in business as an Amazon bestseller.

If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/

Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu

TRANSCRIPT

And so the conversation with Lana is very fitting as she is a woman in business and she's gone through her own career transitions, having been a nurse. before and now a business owner. So this is what I want to share with you. I want to share with you a review on Amazon for Fertile Imagination, my debut book.

So the book is all about rediscovering yourself and really leveraging the power of your imagination for yourself as a mom. Oftentimes we imagine the best in everyone else. I mean, we're talking about like, we imagine the best in terms of some of our kids' teachers, in terms of our partners, in terms of are OBGYNs. And I want you to take that superpower, that amazing, unmagnificent vision you have for others, and turn it on yourself so that you can dream really, really big. So here is an Amazon review. It comes from someone named Andrew. So I just want to say that it's amazing how Andrew really gets moms.

Because I resonated with his review on Amazon. He says, fertile imagination is a must-read for anyone feeling stuck in the merry-go-round of life. Ain't that the truth? I had to just interject. Using personal stories, interview excerpts, and creative exercises, Melissa inspires you to tap into your inner creativity and go after what you've always dreamed of.

Even if you aren't a mom, this book will help get you unstuck when it comes to reaching your potential. I have found myself frozen sometimes when I think about what I want to accomplish and what I have yet to do. And I want to really be sure that you and I both have some sort of way to overcome those hurdles.

And oftentimes you write the book that you need most. And that's why I wrote Fertile Imagination. So Andrew had an opportunity to write a review on Amazon, two to three sentences, sharing his opinion about Fertile Imagination, my book. And these reviews are so important, which is why I wanted to read it to you first because it give you a sense of whether the book is right for you or for a friend.

But second, if Amazon sees that a book has a hundred Amazon reviews, It will then help market the book to new readers. And here's the deal. How amazing would that be for a mom who is purchasing holiday gifts for her family on Amazon to then get a little nudge from Amazon to see that, wow, there's this book called Fertile Imagination that could actually help me accomplish what I want to accomplish in the new year of 2024.

They would have never seen it if Amazon didn't see that you wrote an Amazon review and about 3 million moms a day log into Amazon. Those are the statistics and that's a little bit of back-of-the-envelope math for you. So every single day that we are not at 100 reviews. Is a day that 3 million moms would not have seen that fertile imagination as a possibility for them too.

So I really could use your help. I want to be sure that we get through that 100 Amazon reviews. So, off to the conversation with Lana. It is sensational. I absolutely love how thoughtful she was. And I also want to just give her a huge shout-out because she is looking for VCs. So if you think that Lookingglass lifestyle is an interesting opportunity for you, be sure to reach out to me via Instagram at Melissa Llarena.

And now for the conversation with Lana, where we talk about speaking to your inner child. And she's a mom that has a little girl. And I wanted to just say that because I have all boys and I appreciate hearing from moms who have very different life experiences. So stay tuned for that as well. Yeah, I want to talk about your book.

So I didn't realize until today that you had been doing coaching for moms for like 12 years and that's is that what kind of got you to the point where you're like, I want to write a book on some of these stories or share some of these insights that I've learned is that what really propelled this?

Yeah, 12 years of having a conversation that usually is held tightly guarded, like these secret conversations, right? Like I'm at work and I don't feel supported or I'm at work and I'm in this job and I don't know if I'm going to get to the C suite. There are all these emotions behind the scenes, especially with working moms in particular.

So we have these inner conflicts that we're trying to untangle. And I even talk about that, like in the book, like it's like these knots in the back of our heads that are like impossible to unknot. And for me, I just felt like, okay, I'm having conversations with both working moms and also working dads.

And that's not even a phrase, which is pretty interesting as I think about it. And they sound different. They really sound different. And I thought to myself, what if I shared a little bit of what I'm hearing from like, The guys and what I'm hearing from people that are not moms, and I empower moms to like have this like psychological flexibility with which they can create their own life experience like at home, at the office, anywhere you want to be.

That's amazing. I know so many women are going to benefit from this book, moms especially. I had a similar experience. What you're talking about is when I was starting my company Looking Glass, it was like this gnawing in the back of my head that was like, there's more. There's more. Like, just try this thing.

You have this idea. And like, I could not shake it no matter what I did, what I tried. And I sat on my idea for a while, but it, yeah, I think just everything you have in the book, encouraging moms to kind of, to find their purpose and stretch their imagination. That was the point that I really liked was the imagination.

Like, Tapping into that what if that lets you play to your reference about Halloween this morning? Like what would you want to be when you grow up? Even if you're 40, what do you want to be? Play like it's Halloween like you get to imagine how this can look for you. So I really love all your insights on that. Yeah, I think when you grow up and I say this as a mom who's been around the mom lights for 12 years now both in the U.S. and living abroad in Australia, what I have noticed is that there's this like, almost like kind of like, I give up. I shouldn't play. I'm too old for that. There's so much going on. I don't have time to like, introduce laughter in my life. It's all about like, do, do, do, the checklist, figuring out how much can get done in a day.

And what happens is something that's really, really, Horrible for entrepreneurs, right? So as an entrepreneur, what I hear all the time is to enjoy the process. Well, how the heck am I supposed to enjoy the process? If I keep on adding even more pressure behind what needs to happen in the day. So one way to add a little bit of levity and to actually enjoy the process of motherhood of entrepreneurship, of being a partner in any other capacity.

Is by finding a way to almost add a breath of fresh air to the moment. And so this is something that helps people not just with their children, like today, Halloween, like we are more playful today because our kids are dressed up and we're all having that fun with them. But like, let's say you're in like a very stressed situation, right?

And right now you have a company and there are all these competitors coming into the marketplace. The best way for you to tackle any challenge, any creative challenge is to actually step away and like really daydream like Sarah Blakely, whom I'm wearing, by the way, because of your style, by the way, I have literally legit Sarah Blakely Spanx jeans on right now.

She actually, yeah. Her best ideas came when she was daydreaming. Her best ideas happen when she's like playing with her four kids. This is something that is proven from a business perspective. Like I have Beth Comstock who was the former CMO of GE in my book. I interviewed her and she herself had gone to a Korean pop concert for divine inspiration for something that can add value to a manufacturing company like GE like playing can be profitable as much as it's fun and something you do with your kids.

And I think that there's a lot that we need as moms. We need so many tools like our bags have everything, lipstick, mascara, but we need other tools that we can be like, all right, let me pull this out for when I don't know what to do. And your imagination is that versatile. Yeah. I like to look at kids in another way.

Like I love the idea of mirroring them and thinking like, how do they play? Let's, we should also be playing like that. But one, one thing I love and Breeja Larson talks about it in your book. Is that like, how would you speak to your inner child? And I've done this where when I wanted to launch my business or I thought I shouldn't go to that work event because my kids, my kids, my kids, I've flipped it in my head like, what would I tell my daughter? If my daughter wants to be a working mom and she wants to launch her business, would I tell my daughter, no, stay home and make spaghetti? Or would I tell her, you know what? Go out. Do that interview do that networking thing that you've been planning and just reach for the star So I've tried to shift it in my head. What advice would I give my daughter? When I'm thinking about my own decisions as a working mom.

Yeah Yeah, and and here's the thing. Let's just imagine your daughter did choose to make spaghetti we're in a situation right now where we have cellphones. So technically she could put her cell phone on a tripod, show up to that event, and show herself making spaghetti for her kids and still make a profit in whatever it is she chooses to do.

Some straight-up people make spaghetti, record themselves, and make money doing so on Instagram. Right. So, we're in a world where you could actually have a situation where it's like, yes. And yes, I can show up to whatever, like a soccer game or whatever I could be present and focused. And then when the game is over on my way to the car, I could get back online, whatever needs to happen, and make those choices along the way. So I think, yeah, Breeja Larson is so kicked tush. I'm a mom, right? We can't use potty language, but she's so kicked tush. She's an Olympian swimmer for anyone who doesn't know her.

And she was the one that said, basically, what about that little girl inside of you? Like, what is it going to take for you to when you're not motivated, jump into a cold pool and practice anyway? And for Breeja, it was conjuring that inner little girl. And as a mom today, it's Halloween. I want you to go back to when you were like eight years old.

Like who did you dress as? Who did you want to be? What did you think you would look like or be like at this age right now? And, and how can you not let her down? And I think your imagination can help you figure out the how. Yeah, absolutely. The other thing I love about Rhea Larson is reading a book and knowing a little bit about her.

She is an Olympic gold medalist in swimming with a breaststroke, and I have a daughter who does breaststroke and swims. But what I love about her is that she didn't start year-round swimming until she was much older. And so I love that too, like the mirror there for the moms, like, If you didn't start when you were 18 or in college or you took some time off or you decided to be a stay-at-home mom, it's not too late to now turn and pursue your dreams and train for something and learn a new skill and reach for the stars.

So I really love, I love that part of her story. Yeah, and I think Breeja talks about it from a perspective of still being a child, technically, when she started her craft. But then there's also Theo, Theo Travers, who's in my book as well. He was the executive producer of the show Billions. He was in his 30s.

And that's when he decided to go across the road, the road, go across the United States to Hollywood and like pursue writing, which at the time felt like something you would do super early in your career, not after being a TV journalist with a lot of success. Right. So I think this whole thing of, well, I should have done that when I was 18 or 20, that stops a lot of dreams from even having a chance.

And so if you're. 30, 40, 50, 60, like straight up, you're the age you are period. Now we move forward. What can be done? What can you do? And maybe you can create your own category and whatever it is you want to pursue. Like there's sky's the limit with your imagination, right? Yeah. So why do you think that is?

Why do you think moms in particular, come out of college, we're in college, we can do anything, and we can be anything we want to be. And then we stop, maybe we stay home for a while, we have kids, we kind of pursue more of a domestic role. And then maybe we have these dreams. Why do you think moms kind of fall into that where they feel like they can't pursue those dreams anymore?

What is it about motherhood or about being in this kind of middle life in the 30s, or 40s that kind of stops dreams from being pursued? Yeah, it's, it's so funny because in the book, really what I share is this idea of holding yourself up to a higher standard than other people might hold you up to. And I think as a collective, as moms, there are certain excuses, and I'm just going to say the word excuses, that we've agreed are valid.

And are the reasons why it's okay for us not to go after what we want. So one of the excuses might be something like I don't have the time, right? However, it's kind of funny how we might make the time to binge-watch something on Netflix But we don't have the time to go to the gym exercise blah blah blah.

So it's like collectively accepting it. Just like when you're a mom, the notion I've heard is if you're a mom, then you no longer come first. Like it's no longer about you. You could take that really literally, right? And so it becomes any moment that you have to decide between your priorities and your child's, you're always going to choose yourself.

Even if the consequence for your kid is not really a big deal. And I'm not talking about the serious stuff. Like you got to go to the hospital. be on some sort of TV show. I'm talking about things like, Oh no, my kid is not going to show up with like a homemade Halloween costume today. Right. Versus man, I really want to do an Instagram live with Lana right now.

So like right now, my, I know my kids are not having GMO-free snacks this second. Like they're literally at a. a theme park here in Austin that has sugar up the wazoo. Am I going to pay for it? Yes, I am. But that's what I chose for today. Right, right. Yeah, it's all a balance, right? I mean, I think to kind of play off what you're saying about the moms and the making excuses and why it's acceptable to not follow your dreams.

One thing I noticed with my clients is being overwhelmed. And so they make excuses like, I don't really care what I look like, or I don't care. I'm 20 pounds heavier,, but I'm too busy to do anything about it. Or I don't care about clothes. So I don't care how I look in photos. But to me, as I've gotten to know a lot of my clients on a more personal level, and even taking this to my years as a nurse, to me, that's just kind of a mask for overwhelm.

They have this dream inside whether it's to have a new career or launch their own business or pursue. Painting, whatever it is, but the ideas of like, now that they're trying to figure out how to do it and learning it and starting something, it's just, they're so overwhelmed by all the other balls that they have in the air that they just kind of maybe say, I don't care about that.

Or I used to want to do this, but like, I can't do it now because, to me, it's just an underlying feeling of they're just overwhelmed and they don't know how to act on it. I think one of the early readers of my book was saying that really sometimes we're also intimidated by our own dreams. And so if that mom that you are saying feels overwhelmed, maybe she's overwhelmed because she assumes that pursuing this business idea, for example, like she's going to have only like her current level, like information, her current level relationships, current level skills.

But in the book, what I share is that you tend to grow with your dreams. So like last year, if someone told me, Melissa, you would have to figure out how to get like the interior of your book ready and set and into like amazon.com. For example, I would have been like, oh my god I don't have my book yet, right? I would have been so scared and I didn't have certain Facebook groups that I would ask these questions to But as I've grown along with my dream as I'm executing on my dream I've been able to increase my capacity, and also figure out where I have gaps and I don't know anything.

So I've been able to figure out like, who can I ask that has already accomplished what I wish to accomplish. So like that mom, to your point, like, let's say you're overwhelmed, right? You want to have, for example, beautiful holiday photos, right? And you see all these holiday photos every year that come to your house.

And you like, I'm making this up, tape them to your wall. Some of us do that, right? Or you like to hold them as this beautiful, like the reflection of a perfect life. Why is it that my kids have their fingers in their nose and their picture or Tommy has a Mohawk and I'm not into that, right?

Like if you feel, if you see that disconnect in the moment. All you have to do is just say to yourself, okay, wait a minute, let me just start with the one picture I really liked. Let me call that one mom and let me just ask her, like, did you have a stylist? Did you hire a photographer? Like did you tell your kids that you would take them to Disney World if they stood still?

You know what I mean? Like you just ask one person. That you admire, like the result of their efforts, just like what, what did they do? And if we're more open about our dreams, even if they intimidate us or overwhelm us or our ambitions, even if they embarrass us too, that's the other thing where we, we feel that's one step forward to actually reducing overwhelm.

Yeah. So do you feel like moms, it's hard for them to be vulnerable at this point when they're talking about their own dreams and their own things for the sake of looking silly or embarrassed around other moms in the community? Or why is it that we stopped sharing the things that we're passionate about that aren't related to our family and our kids?

Yeah. So here's the thing. We all want to evolutionarily be part of a group, right? And so if a group with which you hang out with our moms who look put together, who show up at Halloween with like all the bells and whistles of Halloween stuff and, and you all of a sudden want to do your own thing. thing and be a little different, you're going to then feel like the group is no longer going to accept me.

Like my mom, friends are going to think that I am, and I'm making this up, but like me with a book, for example, right? Like right now I have a book and a lot of the people that I've engaged with, they don't have a book, but they have a book inside of them, right? They have a book in their heart. And so sometimes even for me, like I might feel like okay let me not mention today's book launch day because like what if that makes them feel bad or makes them feel any sort of feelings that are not positive also what if now they don't look at me in the same way? What if now when they say I have a book in me, they feel embarrassed because I have a book outside of me?

So it's really group dynamics. And it's about just like this need to feel like we're in a group of people who accept us. And if we start doing things differently than the people with whom we hang out with, we will, and this is the truth, we will notice a couple of differences. And it's all a matter of like, who do you want to be? Who do you want to be? And I think that's a question we don't take time to ask ourselves.

Yes, absolutely. So what can we do as fellow moms when we're in these groups to maybe help women express their dreams? Or what questions can we ask? How should we be reacting when they do open up and share?

Yeah, so I would say the best thing that you can do is ask the mom a follow-up question, right? So I love asking questions, which is why in the book I have like five questions for every single chapter that a mom can reflect upon and I have questions you could answer like Five minutes by yourself for like five hours. It depends on you. And I would say, ask a mom. Okay. Wow. That's interesting. What made you want to pursue that?

Like, that's a super simple question. That's interesting. What made you want to pursue that? Or another question could be, that's really cool. Tell me more. Super basic. You're just asking them to express themselves. And the beauty is having been a coach for 12 years in the capacity where I'm helping people land these like six figure corporate jobs, et cetera, is that I'm using the same skills, but for moms who are entrepreneurs and who just needs to flesh out their ambitions.

And as it relates. to our Children. And I actually have a five-day challenge on my website that moms can go to. Just go to the link in my bio. But as it relates to your kids, your kids are like amazing question-askers. That's the bomb, right? Two. They also force us to be really simple with how we express our ideas, and that's key to sales as well.

So if you have an idea in your heart and you tell someone the idea you could tell your kids that idea and ask them to Talk back to you and say what did you understand by that? But if you are someone in a mom group and someone says it's like a wacky idea quote unquote what you might want to do is just Ask wow, that's interesting.

Tell me more and leave it at that. You don't have to put judgment or improve it or anything. Just tell me more is, is really amazing. Actually, it feels good. I think I was going to say in the role of a mom, like having somebody else be like, tell me more and getting the opportunity to talk about like what's in your heart and not having to talk about kids and other things.

And someone just genuinely showing interest in your dream and just really giving you permission and the space to like. put that out there in the universe and speak it to life and tell people like I do have this idea and You never know where that's gonna lead that may lead to them being like I know a book publisher Or I have a friend who already published a book.

Let me hook you up So you mentioned this really early on when I hopped on and I think it's been so true and valuable for me It's like just speak it out there Talk to people find people at the library like you and I met to ask them what they think about this ask them just make conversations because there are so many great people out there that want to connect and want to help fellow moms.

And I've been so fortunate to have a couple of mentors that have really connected the dots with me. But it just started with me having a little bit of courage to really be honest about what I wanted to do. Yeah. And I think here's the thing, like, again, it's about what, what's been heard before from mom circles before.

So like, it's common, for example, for a mom to say, I want to be a teacher, for example, right? Because like, the summer's off and all of that stuff. It's common for a mom to say, Oh, I want to participate more heavily in like the parent-teacher groups and all of that. And I know it's uncommon to say, I want to be invested or backed by a VC within like 90 days, or I want my app to hit like 20 million downloads within X period of time.

That's uncommon. And that's why for me, fertile imagination means that you have a vision that's. so big that maybe you've never seen it done by a mom before, but you've got the guts to go after it anyways. And that's the distinction. So I think it's about figuring out what's common and just letting go of that and being uncommon.

And I think that's okay. It's so amazing., I read a couple of chapters. I just bought the book this morning. when it officially went on sale. But I can't wait for all moms to read this and just the reach that you're gonna have with this book. I think it's really gonna hit a lot of hearts in the mom communities and really just tap into that kind of loneliness or maybe unsureness and just really give a lot of people the courage to look inside themselves.

And be honest about their dreams, and, I think your book is going to do a lot of great things. Thank you so much, Lana. This has been sensational. I think you have to become a journalist, girl. No, not at all, but I do have to run to parent-teacher conferences, but I have one more question for you. I want to know, as I have the book and I want to gift it to others for the holidays.

I think it's such a great book to give to mom groups or to give to the teachers as a Christmas present. But what was your favorite chapter of the book that you wrote? For me, it was the one with Diane Bell when I was comparing winning a Sundance award to tandem nursing, my identical twins. That was my favorite because to tell that story, anyone, anyone that's attempted to nurse one baby.

Yeah. Please just imagine what it's like to tandem nurse two and the award that all moms around the universe get for feeding their kids in any way that they decide is like, I mean, we need like golden whatever is out there. The Nobel Peace Prize. Let's give ourselves that. How about that? I know. I think we don't give ourselves enough credit as moms.

It's like, if we can do all these other things, why can't we be a BC-back company? Why can't we start our own? Store or jewelry line or whatever it is Like we've done amazing things and I think something happens along the way where we sell ourselves short a little bit But you're right I think looking back and being like these are great successes and I did all these things and I can do so much more Absolutely.

Thank you so much. Lana. This has been amazing Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. I can't wait for everybody to read it. Good job. Thank you All right. We'll talk soon. Bye, Can I just say that the different women who interviewed me on book launch day are sensational. So I wanted just to leave you with this one point.

If you feel like you would advise your child to go and take a risk or skip making a spaghetti dinner or, you know, do something for themselves when they had the option to do something for their family. And it might have not been a big deal for their family if we're honest about it. If you feel like you would have provided that suggestion, then do the same thing for yourself.

As you think about the holidays, there are so many things that you can do to make the holidays magic for your family, but why not consider doing something magical for yourself? And I want to just invite you to do that. So please help me out. Go ahead to amazon.com. Look up Fertile Imagination. I will put this in the show notes as well.

And then if you're on your cell phone, you could just scroll down to write a review and write a review for Fertile Imagination. If you have yet to shop the book Fertile Imagination, then I wanna invite you to shop the book, shop the book, because it is a testament to both being a wonderful parent and also.

Being totally excited by what you want to bring to the world, right? Having nothing to do with your family, but everything to do with your heart's desire. And I want us to really see more wonderful things out in the world. I think we can all use wonder right now. So I invite you to shop the book for yourself or shop the book for a mom who you believe in.

You're literally telling her I believe in you by buying Fertile Imagination. So just head on over to Amazon.com shop the book and leave a review. We want to reach those 3 million a day moms shopping on Amazon so that they can see that fertile imagination is an option for them. Thank you so much and happy December.