It’s the holidays and I LOVE the Grinch cartoon. We normally
think of him as stealing Christmas spirit with his attitude, but don’t you have
Grinches in your office, too? They bark and growl and bah humbug every idea,
making your role as leader a pain in the you know where. You’ve labeled them as
difficult and certainly treat them as such, but is it possible what’s actually
happened is you’ve let this Grinch steal your emotional intelligence? Think of the moral of the Grinch Stole
Christmas story and play along with this concept as we take a new approach to
those “Grinches” you lead this holiday season.
It’s Not All Happy in Whoville
While every television commercial and retailer ad will lead
you to believe that the holiday season is bright and merry for all, this is
just not the case. There are those you lead who are sad, fearful, or dreading
the arrival of their mother in law and the thought of putting one more candy
cane up to celebrate makes them want to use one to poke their eyes out. Give
them a break. Not everyone is merry in the “Whoville” of your office around the
holiday time. Not everyone is dreaming of sugar plums or sees elf on the shelf
as an endearing creature. You don’t have to label them as a Scrooge, but stop
forcing them to wear a proverbial pair of happy elf shoes. Let them be and
consider giving them more work to do as it often provides a welcome
distraction. Emotional intelligence
includes understanding what people need and what their behavior really means.
Max Gets Treated Like a Minion
During the holiday season the stress peaks at an all-time
high. Between gifts to buy, what to buy and for whom, parties to smile for,
extra workload, the fear of being left out of it all, music that become
nauseating by the tenth rendition and so, so much more, it’s no wonder that the
normally simply glum employee can rapidly become one who appears far too
annoyed for social interaction. Stress is the number one cause of difficult
behavior and it’s unfair to blame an employee for being short tempered if they
don’t possess the ability to manage the stress. Have a pow-wow with those you
lead and those they lead to brace everyone for the reality that this is the
time of year to cut all some slack. It’s not acceptable for your Grinches to
treat everyone like mere minions and simply be rude, much as it’s not
acceptable to assume that the new level of stress is having no impact on
employees and manager’s attitudes.
Emotional intelligence entails being able to interpret a person’s level
of stress and not taking their natural reactions as difficult behavior done
A Cindy Lou May Be Among You
Maybe it’s not you and maybe you’re not the one, but someone
on the team you lead may have a heart that is NOT two sizes too small, as the
Seuss rhyme goes, and may turn your Grinch’s heart from stone to a more pinkish
tone. Who might that be who could reach your Grinch and help get them through
these holiday times? Is there someone
who might understand and be willing to provide a helping hand in managing them?
In the story and the movie, Cindy Lou is the one who covers for the Grinch when
he robs her home and help to turn his entire thought process completely
around. She is the one who sees beyond
his rough exterior and believes in the real meaning of the holiday, who’s kind
approach proves generous and heartwarming more than most. Find that Cindy Lou
and have him or her extend a hand to the one person in your office this time of
year who’s biggest fear may be that no one will want to be their Secret Santa
when it appears everyone else has an abundance of presents. Emotional
intelligence could be used to describe a leader’s ability to see what is really
needed when others are telling you where that difficult person needs to go!
We are all faced with difficult people from time to time and
yet most don’t realize that what is shown as difficulty is usually a great
cover for pain. Don’t let your Grinches steal your emotional intelligence. Stop
taking their pain personally and extend a hand, dare you miss the real meaning
of the season and the true meaning behind giving. It’s not always about the
gifts we give and presents we wrap, but the simple touch on the shoulder and as
leaders, the lives we impact.
I’m Monica Wofford and that’s your
Monday
Moment. Have a great week, an even better
Monday, and of course, stay contagious! Monica Wofford, CSP is a leadership development
specialist and professional speaker. Her coaching, books, and skill based
training programs are requested internationally. Monica is the CEO of www.ContagiousCompanies.com
and author of Make Difficult People Disappear. She may be reached at 1-866-864-0121.
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