C.H.O.S.E.N. — SERIES
- Confident in who you are
- Healed from what hurt you
- Open to growth
- Strong through adversity
- Empowered by purpose
- Never meant to blend in
Week 2: H: Healed From What Hurt MeWelcome back to Week 2 of our C.H.O.S.E.N. series. Last week, we began walking through what it means to be chosen by God, not because of who we pretend to be, but because of who He created us to be. This week, we are focusing on the letter H — Healed From What Hurt Me.This topic is not easy. Healing is personal. Healing is layered. Healing requires honesty, courage, and surrender. Some wounds we talk about openly, while others we carry silently for years. Some pain is so deep that we learn how to function with it, smile through it, worship through it, and survive with it — but surviving is not the same as being healed.Today, I want to speak from a very real and vulnerable place. I am sharing a part of my story that took me years to even find the words for. My prayer is that as you read this, you feel seen, loved, and reminded that what happened to you does not define you. Your hurt may be part of your story, but it is not the end of your story.Before we go further, I want to gently say that today’s blog discusses sexual assault, trauma, and healing. If this is a sensitive topic for you, please take your time, pause when needed, and know that you are not alone.God is still a healer. God is still a restorer. God is still close to the brokenhearted.And if He can begin healing the broken places in me, I believe He can do the same for you.As we continue to break down the word C.H.O.S.E.N., today we are on the letter H — Healed from what hurt me.And honestly, we could be here for days, weeks, even months talking about all the things God has had to heal me from. Some wounds were visible. Some were hidden. Some I didn’t even realize were still controlling how I lived, loved, trusted, and saw myself.But today, I’ve chosen to share one part of my story with the hope that it encourages somebody else to allow God to heal them too.Scripture for Today“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3This scripture reminds me that God is not afraid of broken places. He does not turn away from wounds. He does not shame us for being hurt. Instead, He comes close, He heals, and He gently binds up what life tried to destroy.Why Healing Is ImportantHealing is necessary because what we don’t heal from, we often bleed on others.There is a saying: “Hurt people hurt people.” And while that may sound simple, it is very true. When we carry unhealed pain, it can show up in our relationships, our decisions, our attitude, our parenting, our friendships, our boundaries, and even our relationship with God.Unhealed hurt can make us defensive. It can make us isolate. It can make us angry. It can make us distrustful. It can make us blame ourselves for things that were never our fault.But when you are chosen, you have to understand that God never intended for your pain to be the end of your story. Some of the things you endured were not because God abandoned you, but because He was going to show you that there is a way through it — through Him.That does not mean what happened to you was okay. That does not mean God caused the hurt. That does not mean the person who hurt you gets excused.But it does mean that God can take what was meant to break you and use it to build something in you that the enemy can’t destroy.We often give the devil too much credit. The enemy has no real power over a child of God. He cannot do anything without God’s knowledge, and he cannot touch what God has already covered without God allowing it for a greater purpose. Even then, God’s purpose is not to harm you — it is to bring you through, heal you, restore you, and remind you who you are.Healed From Sexual AssaultOne of the things God has been healing me from is sexual assault.For a long time, I blamed myself for what happened to me. I carried shame that was never mine to carry. I replayed moments in my mind wondering what I could have done differently. I questioned myself. I questioned my worth. I questioned if I would ever truly feel whole again.And for over 20 years, I lived with it quietly.Twenty years is a long time to carry something that heavy. Twenty years is a long time to smile while hurting. Twenty years is a long time to survive something in silence.I was not comfortable sharing it for a long time, and I want to say this clearly: healing does not always happen overnight. Sometimes healing is a process. Sometimes God has to peel back layers. Sometimes we have to be honest about wounds we buried just to survive.But I thank God that He is patient. He did not force me. He walked with me. He comforted me. He reminded me that what happened to me did not define me.I am not what happened to me. I am not damaged goods. I am not unworthy. I am not dirty. I am not forgotten. I am chosen, loved, covered, and healed by God.Things You May Experience After Sexual AssaultSexual assault can affect people in many different ways. Everyone’s healing journey is different, but some things people may experience include:
- Shame or guilt, even though it was not your fault
- Fear or anxiety, especially in certain places or around certain people
- Depression or sadness that feels hard to explain
- Flashbacks or nightmares
- Difficulty trusting others
- Feeling disconnected from your body or emotions
- Anger, confusion, or emotional numbness
- Trouble with intimacy or relationships
- Blaming yourself for what happened
- Silence, because speaking about it feels too painful or scary
- Triggers from smells, sounds, locations, words, or memories
- Feeling distant from God, wondering why He allowed it
If you have experienced any of these things, I want you to know: you are not crazy, you are not weak, and you are not alone. Trauma can affect the mind, body, and spirit. But God is able to heal every part of you.And healing can include prayer, worship, scripture, therapy, support groups, trusted community, and safe conversations with people who will not judge you. Getting help does not mean you lack faith. Sometimes therapy is one of the tools God uses to help you heal.Allow God to Heal YouSometimes we say we want healing, but we are afraid to feel the pain again. We are afraid that if we open that door, we won’t be able to handle what comes out.But God is gentle.He does not expose a wound to shame you. He exposes it to heal you.You cannot fully walk in freedom while pretending you are not hurt. You cannot fully become who God called you to be while carrying the weight of what someone else did to you.Chosen one, it is time to stop blaming yourself. It is time to stop carrying shame. It is time to stop letting what happened have the final say.God wants to heal you from what hurt you.Sexual Assault Statistics & Red Flags in Youth/TeenagersSexual assault is more common than many people realize, and one of the reasons it continues to thrive is because of silence, shame, fear, and secrecy. Many survivors do not speak up right away — some wait years, and some never tell anyone at all.Here are a few statistics to help us understand the seriousness of this issue:
- According to RAINN, an American is sexually assaulted about every 68 seconds.
- About 1 out of every 6 women in the U.S. has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.
- About 1 out of every 33 men in the U.S. has experienced attempted or completed rape in his lifetime.
- According to the CDC, more than 1 in 4 girls and about 1 in 13 boys experience child sexual abuse at some point in childhood.
- Many victims know the person who assaulted them. Sexual assault is often committed by someone familiar — a relative, family friend, partner, coach, teacher, church member, neighbor, or trusted adult.
- Teenagers are especially vulnerable because they may not understand what happened, may fear getting in trouble, may feel ashamed, or may have been threatened into silence.
These numbers are heartbreaking, but they remind us why awareness matters. We cannot protect what we refuse to talk about.Red Flags in Youth and Teenagers Who May Have Been Sexually AssaultedIt is important to understand that every child and teenager responds differently to trauma. Some may cry out for help openly, while others may become quiet and withdrawn. Some signs may be obvious, while others may look like “bad behavior” when it is really a trauma response.These signs do not automatically mean a child has been sexually assaulted, but they are warning signs that something may be wrong and should be taken seriously.Emotional and Behavioral Red FlagsA youth or teenager may:
- Become suddenly withdrawn, quiet, or isolated
- Have mood swings, anger outbursts, or unusual irritability
- Seem anxious, fearful, depressed, or overwhelmed
- Cry often or appear emotionally numb
- Lose interest in school, hobbies, sports, church, or friendships
- Suddenly avoid certain people, places, or activities
- Become fearful of being alone with a specific person
- Show signs of low self-esteem, shame, or guilt
- Say things like, “I’m dirty,” “I’m bad,” or “It’s my fault”
- Become overly secretive or protective of their phone/messages
- Start lying or acting out in ways that seem unusual for them
- Run away from home or talk about wanting to escape
- Self-harm or talk about suicide
If a child or teen expresses thoughts of suicide or self-harm, seek immediate help. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.Physical Red FlagsSome physical signs may include:
- Unexplained pain, bleeding, bruising, or injury in private areas
- Difficulty walking or sitting
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