We're tackling a particularly weird case today while Mark takes a much deserved vacation. Seth, Heather and guest host Aaron dive into the 1973 case of Sam the Sandown Clown, one of the most bizarre monsters... well, ever. 

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BUFORA Journal Report - 1978

Monsteropolis

Sam the Sandown Space Ghost Clown

INTRO

We told you Seth was coming back. Ha! But there’s a catch! Mark is on vacation. I know, total rip off. I’m sorry. Some other guy is here to fill the mic. 

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We’re going to the UK today. All the way, all the way over there. 

It’s May 1973, Tuesday at around 4 PM, the Isle of Wite, near Lake Common, adjacent to the town of Sandown. Two wee children, around age seven. Their names have not been publicly disclosed apparently, even all these darn years later. Can’t say I blame them though, and you’re about to find out why. They are usually referred to in retellings as “Fay” and “Unnamed boy”

The wee children found themselves near a little bridge running over a little stream, very idyllic except for the wailing, when SUDDENLY A WEIRD GUY WAS THERE. 

About seven feet tall and dressed like a clown. Triangle shaped eyes. Three toes and three fingers. Appeared to be made of WOOD. Like, wooden planks for arms. Also wooden antennae poking out from either side of it’s head. Red hair that fell to the forehead, and circular marks on his cheeks, even a little bob on top of the hat.  

And when we say “dressed like a clown” we’re talking green tunic, white breeches, conical yellow yat. Like something straight out of Rankin & Bass, but like, wrong. Also, seven feet tall. You know what? Here’s a picture.

I just love this dude so much

He kind of trips and splashes in the water, and he’s holding this book. Like a regular book. And he drops the thing, right in the water, sort of playing out this whole cartoonish thing, like you hear the music from the animated movie based on this in your head and it’s like “womp WOMP womp WOMP womp womp WOMP WOMP wompy wompy WOMP WOMP WOMP”

Then it picks up the book, jumps up on the riverbank and starts like, DANCING AROUND like it’s on the moon or something, lifting it’s legs up super high, doing a fancy jig I guess. THEN it turned and ran off towards a small metal hut, which had apparently been there the whole time, and dashed inside. 

And the kids are scared, I mean, you know, they’re not having a great time. This isn’t what they signed up for. But then the tall weird dude comes back, and he’s holding a microphone, and the wailing sound picks back up and the kids are like, nah dude, and they book it. 

But then the wailing sound stops, and the weird clown man TALKED.

“Hello. Are you still there?”

And the kids can hear him, even though he’s “fifty meters” away. Did I mention the microphone? He’s talking into the microphone. So they stop and turn back and clown brother takes the book back out, the one he dropped earlier. He scribbled a bunch of stuff in the book and showed it to the kids, but was apparently just a bunch of random words out of order. Then he starts pointing, one word at time, repeating the same sequence over and over again. And the message said,

“I AM ALL COLORS SAM. HELLO AND I AM ALL COLORS SAM.”

Would anyone like to play the part of “kids” for this sequence, I’m down to play Clown, I can also just make scifi noises in the background if you guys wanna do it

KIDS - “Are you a man”

CLOWN - “No”

KIDS - “Are you human”

CLOWN - “No”

KIDS - “Are you a ghost”

CLOWN - “Not really, but I am in an odd sort of way”

KIDS - “What are you”

CLOWN - “You know”

Sam also explained that there are others like him on earth, but that they fear human beings. He stated that if he were attacked by humans, he wouldn’t fight back. 

This is around when they realized the creature could talk without the microphone, but the voice was distorted and the lips didn’t really move, like someone trying to use a ventriloquist dummy.

Then he just turns around and walks towards the hut, and invites the kids to follow him inside. 

Alright like we’re all parents, so obviously there are some concerns here. It’s not looking good. And it’s gonna get weirder but not like, in a bad way, so, it’s cool. It’s cool. 

I’ve been playing a lot of Stardew Valley lately and this is sending me

They crawled through this little hole in the side of the hut. It was two-storied on the inside, and had blue-green walls covered in dials or knobs.

Then Sam pulled out a berry, stuck it in his ear, and the kids saw it roll around behind his eyes. Then it popped up in his mouth I guess, like a reverse nutcracker or something, and then he just eats the berry like normal. Like that’s just a normal thing to do. 

They hang out with Sam for a little while, just, chatting about space stuff I guess? And after thirty minutes or so they bounced, headed home, play time is over, okie dokie. 

The kids keep it largely to themselves, except apparently ran up to the first adult they saw on the way home and said they’d seen a ghost. The unnamed bystander didn’t believe them. Stupid idiot. Three weeks later the girl lets it slip to her dad. The report refers to dad as “Mr. Y” to protect his anonymity. 

Mr. Y didn’t take the story seriously, until his daughter continued to insist that it was an actual event, apparently becoming upset when he didn’t believe her. Then he starts to question like you and I probably would, “Wait, what if something bad happened and this is just like the child version of it”

So he goes and asks the other boy about it, and after some prodding Unnamed Boy tells pretty much the exact same story that Mr. Y’s daughter did. Uh oh, two witnesses. 

Now obviously the kids could have come up with this whole thing on their own. I used to have an imaginary friend that was a giant donut. 

But here’s another fun fact - Mr. Y had his own UFO sighting in October of 1970 and March of 1972, so as he’s hearing this story from his daughter, he’s coming off of two really bizarre encounters of his own. Obviously already asking himself what’s out there, what’s going on, etc. The report specifically states that Mr. Y never disclosed his own experiences to his daughter. I mean, later probably, but not while she was a kid and not during this encounter. 

He described a large ring of “seven or more spheres” hovering over a river with no apparent purpose. He had eyes on it for several minutes, and other witnesses passed and remarked on it while it was visible. It moved over trees and between some buildings. 

During his second encounter he saw two glowing yellow orbs beneath the surface of the water on Compton Bay, which he was overlooking from a cliff face. It was between 9-10 PM. 

In the the BUFORA article Mr. Y is quoted thusly,

Sam. This is Sam. Sam the Sandown Space Ghost Clown. 

What do you guys think?