This whole episode was inspired by a critique of the parenting skills of uncles, aunts, teachers and daycare workers. The comment went something like this, "uncles and aunts only say that parenting is easy because they are not around the child for as much time as parents have to be around the child; therefore, actual parents are always better at parenting than people who are not around the child all as much". It pains me that I even have to state what is wrong with this generalization. We all know that domestic abuse has skyrocketed during the pandemic. We all know that our most popular religion, Christianity, gives parents a license to abuse their children. It becomes quite easy to blur the lines between faith and abuse. We also know that organizations like child protective services are called more frequently on black and brown families, even though there is no evidence to suggest black and brown families abuse children at a higher rate than white families. So, right from the beginning the argument that natural parents are somehow better at parenting is wobbly from the get go. Of course I am not saying that all parents are abusive, but there are a fairly good amount, otherwise the statistics simply would not be as high; here they are by the way: "It’s estimated that at least 1 in 7 children in the US has experienced child abuse and/or neglect in the past year. Neglect is the most common form of child abuse, followed by physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological abuse. Boys and girls experience similar rates of childhood abuse (48.6% and 51% respectively). Children younger than one year old are the most vulnerable to maltreatment, accounting for almost half of child fatalities from abuse in 2018. In 2018, 76% of child abuse perpetrators were a parent to their victim. In 2018, 62% of children placed in foster care were removed from their homes due to abusive neglect, totaling over 160,000 children." Well, there you have it. A staggering 76% of child abuse occurs in the home, by the parent and the abuse is so bad (CPS has to have clear evidence to place a child into foster care and the requirements are very strict) that the child was removed from the home 62% of the time, that's 160,000 children and that's just 2018! This also does not account for the child abuse cases that do not get reported for various reasons ranging from the ineptitude of child professionals or just lack of evidence. Abusers are crafty; they know they have the law on their side as long as they don't get caught so things like harming people in hidden areas that people don't normally look is common. Also, people often do not know how to properly define abuse, thinking it is limited to physical harm, whereas it can also include, neglect, spiritual abuse and verbal abuse. So what are parents really saying when they critique the school system or other family members who watch their children for "not knowing enough about parenting to really understand it". Are they saying that there is a certain way to abuse children that is somehow more informed? 76% is a large number and it speaks volumes to the fact that aunts and uncles can actually be better at parenting than actual parents are. If the niece or nephew prefers the company of their aunts and uncles, it doesn't always mean that the aunt or uncle is showering them with candy or gifts either. Children often times prefer structure. Sure, they don't say that because structure sounds like a scary word to them. But when children act out around their parents, it is generally (obviously excluding severe mental disorders that cause children to harm parents here) because the child is not getting the attention they deserve. When children misbehave they automatically get the attention they desire. I do not think all parents are bad, but I do think that being a parent does not mean that you know how to parent. I think it is better to learn from as many people as you can when raising a child.