More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human

Give yourself the gift of empowerment

What do you do when you can’t stop your LGBTQ child from seeing online hate, and you shouldn’t try?

Online cruelty and dehumanization get louder in the weeks before an election, and our kids are in the middle of it. Heather explains what’s driving the harshness in their feeds, including who is paying for some of it. She walks through six ways to build resilience without surveillance or confiscating phones.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Understand why your child’s feed is likely to get harsher before the election and what’s behind it
• Have real, age appropriate conversations about what they’re seeing without resorting to surveillance or taking their phone
• Help your child find at least one safe online space, and where to start looking

Press play to learn six practical ways to help your LGBTQ child take care of themselves online.

If you or your child needs support right now, the Trevor Project is available at 1-866-488-7386 or by texting START to 678-678.

The TrevorSpace

Allsides.com

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

How do you stay hopeful and engaged when the news makes everything feel hopeless? What if the answer is smaller than you think?

This is the butterfly effect episode for Tuesday’s episode on the load-bearing walls of democracy. Heather offers one word, one 15-minute action, one urge to resist, and one line for the next time someone says they’re just not political. Her reminder is that those walls aren’t made of granite. They’re made of people, and that includes you.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to:

• Use one word to change how you see your place in all of this
• Pick one race outside your state and do one thing for it from your couch
• Count the wins alongside the losses when the news feels hopeless
• Respond to “I’m just not political” with one line that brings the conversation back to the kids

Press play for four small ways to stay hopeful and engaged between now and November 3rd.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

What does our democracy actually rest on, and which of those supports are being weakened right now?

With less than a month to go before the midterms, Heather breaks down four load-bearing walls of American democracy, a decade of wins and losses for LGBTQ families, and where your dollars and time can make the biggest difference this November, wherever you live.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Recognize the specific ways free elections, checks and balances, and the rule of law are being tested right now
• Track the decade of LGBTQ rights rulings from Bostock to this year's sports and conversion therapy decisions
• Find the races and tools where your vote, donations, or time will have the most impact, no matter where you live

Press play to see exactly what's at stake this November and where to put your energy.

Links referenced in this episode:

• votingrights.org
• allsides.com
• oath.vote
• votesaveamerica.com
• movement advancement project
• heatherhester.net/starthere

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What do you actually say when your kid asks how you're voting?

This is the Friday companion to Tuesday's episode on political approval-seeking. Heather makes that thought experiment small enough to carry through the week: one word, one two-minute action, one urge to resist at the table, and one line to say to your kid that could change how safe they feel.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Reframe "hovering" as motion, not failure to decide
• Check your voter registration and claim your vote out loud
• Resist the urge to lecture or correct at the table, even when you're right
• Say the one line that tells your kid questions won't cost them your love

Press play for four small ways to carry Tuesday's question through the week ahead.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Find the right level of support for you!

Is your vote reflecting your own values, or someone else's approval?

This is the first episode in a month-long series leading up to the midterms. Heather shares the moment her daughter, in tears, asked her not to vote for Trump again, and what that moment forced her to confront about whose approval her politics had actually been seeking. She offers a thought experiment built around three questions to sit with privately this week.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Ask whether your vote reflects your values or someone else's approval
• Name what it would cost you to change your mind, and who you'd be afraid of disappointing
• Recognize whether your child feels safe bringing you their hardest political and personal questions

Press play for three questions worth sitting with before you vote this midterm.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What's one thing you can do today to support your LGBTQ loved one through coming out?

This is the Friday Butterfly Effect episode for Tuesday's Coming Out Action Guide episode. Heather offers one word, one tiny action, one micro rebellion, and one line to steal, all built around a single finding: the biggest factor in a young person's coming out journey isn't having the right words. It's having one steady, accepting adult in their life.

In this episode you'll learn how to:

• Replace a pointed question with one open, reassuring sentence when your loved one starts to pull away
• Notice and interrupt the guilt spiral before it starts, instead of searching for what you did wrong
• Use one simple line to mark the moment their self-love starts to return

Press play for one small, steady action you can take today.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Find guides, tools, resources, and more!

You know the six stages your teen moves through when they come out, and the six stages you move through as their parent. But what do you actually do at each one?

This episode was inspired by listener feedback asking for more concrete next steps. Heather walks through a specific action for every single stage on both sides, your teen's process and your own, so you have real moves to make instead of just the ability to name where you are.

In this episode you'll learn how to:

• Take the right action at each of your teen's six stages, from identity confusion through identity synthesis
• Move through your own six stages, from shock and denial to guilt, expression, decision, and acceptance
• Ask the one question that cuts through all of it: what does your child actually want and need from you right now

Press play for the specific moves to make at every stage of coming out, for both of you.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

What do you actually say when your kid is hurting, and how do you know something's wrong before they tell you?

This is the Friday follow-up to Tuesday's episode on queer dating and breakups. Heather offers four small actions split between the before-it-happens world of prevention and awareness and the it's-already-happening world of simply showing up. The facts equip you, but they aren't what your kid actually needs from you in the moment.

In this episode you'll learn how to:

• Open the door to a relationship conversation by asking how it feels instead of how it's going
• Trust your gut and gently name a red flag, even when you're afraid of overstepping
• Have one line ready for the moment you hope never comes, starting with belief before a single follow-up question

Press play for four small ways to stay present for your kid, before and after heartbreak.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Do you know how to actually help your queer kid through a breakup, or are you using advice built for straight relationships?

Both of Heather's daughters went through breakups within a month of each other this year, and it revealed just how underprepared she was to support them the way she wanted to. This episode debunks the most common and most dangerous stereotypes about queer relationships, walks through documented research on same-sex relationship stressors and abuse, and gives you language to open the door with your kid without prying.

In this episode you'll learn how to:

• Recognize the couple-level stressors unique to same-sex relationships that straight couples never have to navigate
• Understand why queer kids may be less likely to tell you if something is wrong, and how to build the kind of trust that changes that
• Know where to point your kid for LGBTQ-competent support if a relationship turns unsafe

Press play to learn how to show up for your kid's relationships, and their heartbreak, with the facts and presence they actually need.

This episode discusses sexual assault and intimate partner violence. If this is a sensitive topic for you personally, The Trevor Project is available for LGBTQ young people at 1-866-488-7386 or by texting START to 678-678.

Here are the other resources mentioned in this episode:

• The Network/La Red — 24/7 hotline specifically for LGBTQIA+ survivors of relationship abuse, 800-832-1901
• FORGE — self-help guides specifically for transgender and nonbinary survivors of interpersonal and sexual violence
• NCAVP (National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs) — the largest LGBTQ-specific anti-violence coalition in the country, with local member programs you can search by region
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org, 1-800-799-7233) — not LGBTQ-exclusive, but explicitly trained on LGBTQ-specific abuse dynamics, which is important since it's the most recognizable number and some kids will already know it.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

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What does your gay son, lesbian daughter, or bisexual kid actually need from you this week?

This follows up on Tuesday's episode about the real differences between a son and daughter coming out. Heather offers four small, specific actions, one for each thread from that conversation, so nothing gets lost in the idea that "gay is gay." Small doesn't mean simple. It means paying attention to which questions this particular kid is actually asking.

In this episode you'll learn how to:

• Normalize health information for a gay or bisexual son in the same matter-of-fact tone you'd use for a dentist reminder
• Catch and resist the "it's safer, it's two women" assumption that can quietly lower your guard for a lesbian or bisexual daughter
• Use one line that counters bisexual erasure for good, no matter who your kid is currently dating

Press play for four small ways to show up specifically, not generically, this week.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.