More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human

"Gay is gay."Except it isn't. And if you're parenting both a son and a daughter through coming out, you may know that, but NOT know what to do.

A gay son and a lesbian daughter face different stereotypes, different safety realities, and different early questions about who they are. This episode names both directly.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Debunk the most common stereotypes attached to gay sons and lesbian daughters
• Understand the orientation-specific safety facts every parent needs: HIV/PrEP awareness for sons, IPV and healthcare access for daughters
• Recognize that your son and daughter may need entirely different support from you, even when coming out into the same family

Press play to learn what's actually different, and why it matters that you know.

RESOURCES

https://heatherhester.net/starthere

PFLAG (pflag.org)

CDC HIV testing/PrEP locator (hiv.gov)

The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386 / text START to 678-678).

The Gottman Institute Study on Same Sex Couples

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the information coming at you?

This week's Butterfly Effect gives you four tiny actions across four different points in your own process, from repairing a moment you regret to saying your pride out loud.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Use the specific repair language for a moment you wish you'd handled differently
• Get guilt out of your head and onto paper instead of letting it circle silently
• Know what to do instead of arguing when you're stuck in conflict
• Say one sentence of advocacy out loud, even if it feels like more than you're ready for

Press play for four tiny actions you can start today.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Your teen isn't the only one going through a coming out process. You are too, and most parents skip past their own.

From shock to true acceptance, there are six distinct stages parents move through after a child comes out. Naming them makes the hardest parts- the guilt, the denial, the shame- survivable instead of silent.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Recognize which of the six stages you're in right now, from shock through true acceptance
• Work through guilt and shame without carrying them for years
• Move toward genuine acceptance instead of just tolerance

Press play to find out where you are in your own coming out process — and how to keep moving forward.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Tuesday's six stages aren't just something to understand — they're something to practice.

This week's Butterfly Effect gives you one small action for four different moments in your teen's coming out process, from staying present in silence to knowing exactly when to step back.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Practice being a "witness" instead of an investigator during the invisible early stage
• Ask the one question that takes pressure off your kid during the double-life stage
• Recognize when pulling back, not stepping in, is the most supportive thing you can do

Press play for four tiny actions you can start today.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Looking for support but not quite sure what type? We've got you covered!

Did you know that your teen may be going through the hardest, most private season of their life right now and showing you almost none of it?

Coming out isn't one conversation; it's a six-stage internal process your teen may move through for years before they ever say the words out loud. Understanding where they are helps you know how to show up — and when quiet isolation is more than a phase.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Recognize the six stages of your teen's coming out process, from identity confusion through synthesis
• Tell the difference between normal identity development and warning signs that need professional support
• Support your teen through isolation, shame, and pride without rushing or forcing their process

Press play to understand what your teen may be carrying alone right now — and how to become the safe door they need.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

The unlearning doesn't stop. It just gets quieter, and quieter isn't the same as finished.

This Butterfly Effect episode picks up Tuesday's quarterly check-in with one small practice: catching the reflex to label someone before you actually know anything true about them.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Notice the moment you want to label someone's gender or identity before you've been told anything
• Sit in uncertainty about someone's identity without reaching for a label to ease your own discomfort
• Ask yourself what you're still doing on autopilot that deserves a second look

Press play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Let's connect on Substack!

Love is proven by what you're willing to unlearn. This is a check-in on that, for you and for me.

Year-one unlearning is loud: fear, shame, and often a full religious deconstruction, and impossible to miss. What comes after is quieter and easy to overlook entirely: the automatic reach for a label, a tidy category, before you actually know anything true about someone. This episode is an honest look at where allyship goes once the big, obvious work is behind you.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Recognize the difference between year-one unlearning and the quieter unlearning that follows
• Notice the habit of labeling, and why it creates comfort for you and walls for someone else
• Run a quarterly self-audit to keep your unlearning honest and ongoing
• Normalize still catching yourself, years into this work, as the actual practice rather than failure

Press play for the full Quarterly Unlearning Check-In, five questions to return to every three months.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Have you ever felt like the more put together you are on the outside, the more chaotic you feel on the inside?

This Butterfly Effect episode carries Tuesday's conversation about performance and honesty into one small, practical moment you can catch this week: the pause before you say "I'm fine" on autopilot.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Catch the moment you're about to perform "fine" instead of telling the truth
• Say one honest sentence this week that you'd normally edit out
• Check in with yourself at the end of one day about the gap between how you looked and how you felt

Press play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Continue being more human on Substack!

What does being “more human” mean to you?

This episode is a personal one, tracing how performing "fine" for most of my life, learned as a survival mechanism, gave way to embracing the vulnerable, raw, and messy parts of who I actually am. It's a direct answer to the question at the center of this whole show, and an invitation for you to ask it of yourself.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Understand "more human" as more honest and less performed, not more polished or more healed
• Recognize the gap between how put together you look and how you actually feel inside
• Notice one relationship where honesty would be met with relief instead of judgment
• Practice one true sentence instead of the edited version you'd normally give

Press play to hear the story behind this show's name, and three tools for closing your own inside-outside gap.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

Do you think of a threshold as a potential stumbling block or the place you stand before walking into something new or unknown?

This Butterfly Effect episode builds on Tuesday's conversation about the five back-to-school thresholds parents face, with a small practice to help you name yours out loud instead of carrying it silently into September.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Name your threshold to someone you trust instead of carrying it alone
• Reach out to one teacher or administrator before a problem starts, not after
• Say your protective instinct out loud without apologizing for it

Press play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.