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What words to you like to use that help you feel more empowered?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, Episode #45: Unless And Yet

There are three words that I like to use: Unless, And, Yet. Let me tell you why... these are empowering words that open our minds up to new possibilities and solutions.

Let's start with the word Unless. Do you notice yourself thinking or saying...I can't because (fill in the blank). For example, I can't because I don't have enough money. I can't because I don't have enough time. I can't because people...whatever. Now hear what happens when we say the same thing with Unless at the end. I can't because I don't have enough time unless. I can't because I don't have enough money unless. I can't because other people, whatever we're talking about other people, unless. As soon as you add the word Unless, your mind and heart start wondering about all the possibilities. I love adding this word to things I think I can't do and seeing what comes up.

The next word that can be very empowering is And. This is a great word to use when you're about to say But. We're so used to seeing things as one way or the other way, but not as both-at-once. When we're thinking it's either this or that, we unconsciously choose a side and live there. We don't have to do this. There can be room for both, And everything in between.

I talk more about that, everything in between, in my podcast Play the Gray, Episode #9, if you want to hear more about that. So the word And helps us rectify how something can have good and bad elements. It gives us the opportunity to dig a little deeper, to figure out how we feel about things.

The word But often discounts everything that was said before, however, when we use the word And it gives room for both. So the next time you're about to say But, say And instead, and notice what happens.

Now the last word that can be empowering for me is Yet. This word can be used in both a negative and positive connotation. However, I'd like to use it to show enthusiasm or excitement. For example, that was her greatest performance yet, or 28 minutes was my best time yet. Using yet this way celebrates where we're at and gives us the opportunity to think about more.

Another way to use it is to let others or yourself know that a situation or event is the present and not finished yet. For example, there's a lot more time yet, or I have yet to figure it out that way, so I'm going to try this. I like using yet when working on goals, meaning that I expect it to happen, even though it hasn't yet.

So what are the words that you like to use to help you feel more empowered? I'd love to hear what they are. And if you're not already, try giving the words Unless, And, and Yet a try, and let me know what you discover.

I like this quote from Yehuda Berg: "Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all ~ and here's to, Unless, And, Yet, and love.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please share and leave a review, to help others hear tidbits of love. If you would like to become an expert at Loving Yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sided tidbit of love - I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #44: Put Yourself in Their Shoes with Trish Meek

I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they fill and implement love into their lives.

We have the amazing Trish sharing some beautiful love insights with us today. Alright Trish, briefly introduce yourself.

T: Well, my name is Trish Meek. I live in Georgia. I've also lived in South Dakota and Colorado. I'm in my mid fifties. I enjoy going to church and I love doing things for people, and I like to bake when I can.

L: I love it, and I've been the recipient and seeing Trish doing lots of things for people, and I love that about her. Trish is filled with love, so thank you. Alright, so I'm going to ask you three questions. The first one is, how do you incorporate love into your business and/or your life?

T: Well, the questions that you gave me ahead of time so I could think about my answers, I found very difficult and thought provoking, and I really had to think about my answers because I really don't think about what I do, I just kind of do what I do. So my answer is, I try to put myself in other people's shoes. That way it helps me understand them better and so I can relate and connect with them on their level if I can.

And in return, it also helps me become a better person because I can only go by what I have experienced in my life. And there's so many other experiences out there that I haven't had the chance to experience, good or bad. And I think by trying to put their shoes on, you can find more compassion, more patience and empathy. So I think for me, that is really important. And honestly, that's something, wow, I forgot about that. A very long time ago I was having a conversation with the Lord and I had asked to try to help me with that actually. I'd forgotten about that, but it has served me well. So that's my answer.

L: That's so beautiful. So served you well in trying to put yourself in other people's shoes.

T: Yeah, so it's been able, because whether you're homeless or famous, you know, we're all the same. You know, we're all the same people. And you know, I've never been famous and I thank God I haven't been homeless, but I could have the same conversations and get to know the beauty in their heart. And so, yeah, it has served me quite well, as in being able to relate with my fellow man.

L: That's so beautiful, Trish, thank you. Alright, the second question, what is something you love about you and why?

T: This was the hardest one. I finally learned how to truly forgive people who have hurt me, especially for painful things. Because especially when it's like friends or family, you know, that you love and trust and put them on a pedestal. Even though they're human, you know, you kind of forget that when you do that, just because you know, we do that with people you know, unintentionally. And when they disappoint you or hurt you, your feelings really get hurt because you don't realize, it's like, how could you do that to me? cuz I wouldn't do that to you. But because we're human. And it took me many years to totally learn how to forgive cuz you can forgive, but you're always harboring something.

But once you can achieve that, your heart is, transformed for a better word. It's like you no longer have that pain or that irritation when you see that person. Or if it was something that they did that you see someone else do, it doesn't bring up those anger issues or that hurt issue that you might have.

But there's a trick to that I found out that recently happened to me, cuz you get tested on that, and for example, somebody hurt me again, same person, and I know it wasn't intentionally, but it was just like, okay, can I forgive them right away? You know, it's like, are all those feelings from the past, from another incident? Is that going to take and start on fire again? Thank God it didn't. You know, I'm very grateful for that. But, I found out that can be a multi-level learning lesson.

L: Absolutely. And what a superpower to be able to forgive others.

T: It is, but I meant it took me, probably a couple decades to learn how to really fully forgive, where you can truly love that person for the person that they are, and not remember the pain that they caused you, which can take a long time.

L: And was there some, like you said, some little trick or something that's helped you do that?

T: No, just not wanting to have that in my life because, when you thought of that person, you always had that, for lack of a better way, an irritation. And, I'm one of those people that my heart and my mind have to be in the same place, otherwise I'm not okay. And so I didn't like not having that, my heart and my mind not being at the same place with that, so it was something I had to work on with that particular person.

L: So it's more like being in alignment with yourself, and really the forgiving others is helping you.

T: Yeah. It totally helps you, because that person may or may not know they hurt you. And it did help me because then I'm at peace now. I'm at peace with that person and that's what I want because, you know, I love this person. It's just, you know, it's sometimes it's very hard to love someone when you're angry or hurt. And it's not a place I like to be.

L: Ah, that's beautiful. What an amazing superpower, Trish. That's great. Alright, so before I ask you the last question, anything else you'd like to share?

T: Just always try to love people. You know, I, some people are hard to love, but you know, I think if you take time to see where they're coming from, or look through their glasses, or their pain or hurt, I think it can help you love that person more.

L: Yeah, and you've had some pretty tough experiences in your life and I think that's amazing how you still, you still choose love.

T: Yeah, because for me, that's the only way to be. I mean, when I love someone, I love with my whole heart, you know, and how do you half love somebody? I mean, I don't understand that, you know, cuz isn't that, that's just not right. So it's either all or nothing when it comes to love for me, and it should be love for everyone, all the time.

L: You're all in on loving. Oh that's beautiful. Alright, so what is your favorite quote about love?

T: Well, I found this in Guidepost. I used to get Guidepost, let's see, I told you I was in my mid fifties, so probably my late twenties, early thirties, I was reading Guidepost and I found this quote from Norman Vincent, and I'm probably trashing his last name, Peale. I don't know how to say the right name, so I'll spell it, p e a l e. I don't know how you say his last name. Perfect. Sorry Norman. But I have made this my mission statement, pretty much since the day I read it, because it pretty much is who I want to be, and I try to strive on this at a daily basis in one small way or another, or bake. But the quote is, "to be successful is to be helpful, caring, and constructive. To make everything and everyone you touch a little bit better. The best thing you have to give is yourself."

L: Hmmm, something to think about y'all. Thank you Trish, for sharing. You're welcome. Thank you. Your tidbits of love. So beautiful. Thank you.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to love. If you would like to become an expert at Loving Yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com.

Embrace the gift of time with my black friday offer~

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #43: The Gift of Time

Time is a measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues.

Another definition of time that resonates more with me; time denotes our existence here on earth. It's the space, or the dash, between the date of our birth to the last day of our life. It contains a personal history of who we were, how we lived, who we knew, and what we did with our lives.

Henrik Edberg continues: "Time is filled with memories of love, joy, laughter, pain, sorrow, anger, forgiveness, emotions all entertained, some internalized, some expressed, and some exploded. In the midst of our living, time continues on its endless journey. Time is a gift, though we rarely stop and acknowledge it as such. With every day time is equally allotted to everyone - 24 hours, and what we do with that time is totally up to us. We can spend our time wisely, or worthlessly, we can squander it, or invest it, we can enjoy it, or abuse it, we can live it, or retreat from it, but it moves on regardless."

Y'all may remember the analogy that I've used and seen many times. Where you place large rocks in the jar first, then you add the pebbles, and then the sand. This simply illustrates how to use our time wisely by doing the important tasks first, and then filling in with other things where there's space available.

Time is something that I've always tried to maximize. I like to get a lot done in the shortest amount of time possible. My cute son shared with some of his friends, "my mom can get more done by 10:00 AM than I do in a whole month." Now, this can be a good thing and a not so good thing, because what I have also struggled with is taking time to slow down, to not be in a rush, and to truly be present and enjoy where I'm at.

Thankfully, over the past few years, I've learned better ways to create space and time for the things I really love and really want to do.

In my Lovin Me Program for December, I'm going to teach some amazing tools to help you organize your time in whatever way works best for, to become more intentional about what you're doing with your time, and spend it doing things you really love and want to do.

If you're ready to give yourself the gift of time this holiday season and throughout your whole life, I have a Black Friday special, today through Sunday, that you won't want to miss. If you go to my website, leannaustin.com and sign up for my Lovin Me Program, enter the code Black Friday, and save 50%.

So for a full month, you'll be able to come on my calls (or watch the recordings) and learn all about time. You can get coached if you'd like. You'll have complete access to all my videos, worksheets, grounding exercises, bonus material, private Facebook group, and everything else in my Lovin Me Program.

The cost to you today (November 23rd through Sunday, November 27th) is $14.

$14 for an entire month in Lovin Me. Come join me in learning how to better manage your time. What a beautiful gift to give to yourself and to your family. The link to purchase a month of Lovin Me is in the show notes or in my bio.

Again, my special Black Friday offer is 50% off, available now until Sunday. An entire month in Lovin Me with all the bells and whistles included.

Share this with your friends and family, what a perfect gift for them too. Hope to see y'all there.

And in closing, I love this quote by Philip Zimbardo: "The greatest gift that you can give to others and to yourself is time. Embrace the gift of time, whether you give it or receive it." Hmmm, something to think about. Have a good one y'all, and here's to time and love.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please share and leave a review, to help others hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at Loving Yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

What input is getting your output?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sided tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #42: Atomic Habits

I read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear years ago, and recently I've been reading it again. I forgot what an amazing book it is. I could talk for days about this book, but I'm just going to share a few things from the beginning that I love. I highly recommend that you buy this book and use it for a reference often.

James teaches us to forget about the goals, focus on systems instead. Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results. Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.

James says, achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. We think we need to change our results, but the results are not the problem. What we really need to change are the systems that cause those results. When we solve problems at the result level, we only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good, we need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

This is sooo good. This is where my Lovin Me program and mind management comes in. When we become aware of and tweak what we're thinking, meaning our input, the results, or the output, that we truly desire will come.

Another thing you may have noticed as you are working on your goals is that sometimes we have an assumption with our goals. Once I reach my goal, then I'll be happy. So basically we're putting off happiness because of this thought, when actually happiness is available to us anytime. And also we're creating an either or conflict. Either you achieve your goals and are successful, or you fail and you're disappointed.

This is how a system first mentality helps. When you enjoy the process rather than the product, you don't have to wait to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your systems are running. We also practice this in my Lovin Me Program, how to become aware of our feelings, and spoiler alert, it's coming from our thoughts. And then how rather than waiting until some event happens, we can choose the way we want to think and feel about something now.

Well there's one more thing I've noticed in my life that James was talking about. He said a goal-oriented mindset can create a yo-yo effect. Many runners, he said, work hard for months, but as soon as they cross the finish line, they stop training. The race is no longer there to motivate them. When all of our hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you after you achieve it? It totally makes sense then why we find ourselves reverting to our old habits after accomplishing a goal, hence creating the yo-yo effect. I've noticed this with my weight, where I go back and forth with the same 20ish pounds, but as I'm rereading this book, I realize I've been focusing on the goal or the result, rather than the systems to get me there.

The goals that I've accomplished in the past and I've maintained, have been those where I've focused on the process rather than on the outcome. James says; the purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True, long-term thinking is less goal thinking. It's not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. It is our commitment to the process that will determine our progress.

James said, If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again. Not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.

So as we're finishing up this year, let's complete a goal or two by looking at the process or system rather than the outcome. If you'd like some help accomplishing a goal, this is what I do in Lovin Me Program. We figure out the input that's keeping you from getting the output you want.

Well, one of my favorite quotes from the book is: "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all. And here's to focusing on our systems and love.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please share and leave a review to help others hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me program at leannaustin.com

What do you have plenty of?🤔

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love. I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode number 41: #PlentyProject

What do you think of when you hear the word plenty? Right now, I think of leaves. We have more than enough leaves. Definitely plenty. And as I'm raking and mowing up the leaves, I like to think of leaves as blessings. There are so many things to be grateful for, especially during this Thanksgiving season. I'm pretty sure that's why all the leaves fall now, so that we remember, there are plenty of so many things that we can be thankful for.

Well, my dear friend Sara Payne started a hashtag plenty project (#plentyproject) that I want to share just in case you'd like to do it too. We receive so many messages that there's not enough, not enough time, not enough money, not enough resources, or even I'm not enough. Well, what if instead we look for examples of where there is plenty.

So, for example, there are plenty of songs for me to listen to, or movies for me to watch. I don't think I'd ever run out of either of those. There are plenty. So what do you notice in your life where there is plenty? If you'd like to share, use #PlentyProject, and if you're on Instagram, tag @SaraPayneCoaching in it and she'll share it there too. And I'll put that in the show notes, you can tag her in there as well.

Well, I love this quote from Frank McKinney: "Approach life knowing there will be plenty to go around. Be generous." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all. And here's to plenty and love.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please share and leave a review to help others hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at Loving Yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

Ways to connect with Camille: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/camillescowcoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/camille.bradford.5/ Website: camillescowcoaching.com Podcast: https://anchor.fm/camille-scow/

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, Episode #40: Love Feels Good with Camille Scow. I love observing and connecting with other humans, especially noting how they feel and implement love into their lives.

We have the amazing Camille Scow sharing some beautiful love insights with us today. Alright Camille, briefly introduce yourself.

So I'm the youngest of nine in my family, grew up in Mapleton. My parents had, and they still have an orchard, and mostly peaches, mostly apples, because my dad was like, I'm gonna teach my children to work. And as we grew up, he has this phrase now of "I taught my kids to work and they taught me how to play." So we like to have fun. We have a cabin up Spanish Fork Canyon, and we go there. We have family reunions there and it's always super fun.

I went to BYU Idaho for three and a half years, two and a half years, I don't know, a couple years, and then transferred to BYU, got my degree in education with a minor in music, and then got my masters from UVU after teaching for a couple years in Jordan School District.

And then got married in 2017. Both my husband and I were 28, and it was kind of perfect. I was hoping to get married sooner, but it was perfect cuz I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about love really, and like what it feels like, and the real love, cuz I'll be honest, kind of grew up with the fairy tale mentality of, you know, you do all the things, and then you find your prince, and then it's all just happy. And it's just supposed to be happy all the time.

So, I was glad for that time alone to just kinda connect more with myself before I entered into the marital stage. And we've been married for five years. I have an 18 month old and expecting next baby end of November, so that's pretty exciting. That is exciting. And January, went through the Life Coach School. Certified in May. You're a coach now. Awesome. Yep, so trying to pursue that, it's kind of the next chapter of my life and yeah, that's about it.

Awesome. Well, so many fun stuff. I love it. It's fun to hear the experiences of what you've had. So I'm going to ask you three questions, and let's tell our audience the first one: How do you incorporate love into your business and/or your life?

So, my business is helping wives whose husband's view pornography. And the love part is all over. It's in every aspect. It's in being able to love who you are, and being able to love who your husband is, as he is now, and as you are now. Because oftentimes we get in a relationship, or maybe there's some, you know, unexpected information, there's unexpected things that we might learn about our spouse. And then we feel trapped. And it's kind of a dangerous place to be because you're giving away your power in a sense. You're kind of giving away your situation to your circumstance. And what I mean by that is like, especially in like the LDS culture of like, you know, if you get married in the temple, it's like forever and ever, and you kind of feel trapped of like, oh I made this choice, even though I didn't necessarily know this information, and so I have to stay in this situation, which then prevents, or this marriage, that's what I mean, like I have to stay married cuz that's the right thing to do.

And the reason why that's damaging is because it doesn't leave room for love, really, because there's this mentality of necessity. And so it's like, I have to be in this marriage. I have to stay in this marriage cuz that's the good thing. That's the right thing. But being open to getting out of the marriage has the opposite effect, what you might think. Because being open to leaving the marriage. Then leaves you open for love, leaves you open for loving yourself, leaves you open for loving your husband, which then puts you in a situation where you are able to make that choice, if you wanna stay or leave.

And it's kind of mind blowing because there's more love no matter what you choose. And the decision doesn't seem so black and white. The decision doesn't seem so doom and gloom, either to stay or to go. Because it can feel doom and gloom to stay. It can feel doom and gloom to leave the marriage. But when you're open, like genuinely open to both scenarios, you're genuinely open for love. And so that's what I try to help my clients reach. Like that's the point of where I want to help them see. How love has, like, love actually creates the result they want. When they are like negative or down on themselves. Cause they think if, if they're down on themselves, if they're angry at their spouse, if they're feeling strong negative emotions, then it'll potentially get them what they want, which is a happy marriage. Which is weird what our brains do. It's like, oh if I'm so mad at my husband, he'll see that I'm mad, and then he'll want to change. But that's not how it happens.

So once we have such a strong love for ourselves, then it helps us let go of the control that we feel like we need to have in a relationship. And then, like I said, leaves room for love, which then helps you get out of your emotional state in your brain, which then helps you use more of your prefrontal cortex, which then that is the decision making part of your brain. So it's like the loving yourself exactly as you are, loving your husband exactly as he is, opens that portal of love and appropriate decision making. And I think it's a beautiful thing.

That is a beautiful thing. Yes Camille, I love that. I love how you're willing to talk about it. Some people don't want to talk about pornography. I love how you're willing to talk about it. You're willing to bring that to light, to talking about making a choice whether to stay or go. That's so beautiful and I love that you're honing in and focusing on that. Alright. Well, thank you. Nice. Okay. Definitely have my ups and downs. For sure, part of life, huh? Yes. Alright, question number two: What is something you love about you and why?

So, as I was thinking about this question, I realized I have a tendency to say the good, but then also say the opposite of the bad. Cause like, I think many people kind of have a hard time thinking positively about myself. Cause I was, my answer to that question is I love that I am quick to forgive, because the whole idea of not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting another person to die. That kind of thing, and realizing that the forgiveness is for me, like I selfishly forgive because it's for me. Like I want to feel better, so I'm going to forgive.

And then right after I had that thought, the next thought I had was, well I'm not so good at forgiving myself , and that's what I'm hoping to get better at. So I'm hoping my skills of being quick to forgive others will translate, of course, with work to forgiving myself quickly too. Cause that's definitely something that I've noticed that I'm not always the best. But I also see how it can benefit my life.

Absolutely. And just that awareness of it, that you do recognize that you are really good at forgiving others, and your practicing being good at forgiving yourself as well. That's beautiful. Alright, so before I ask you the last question, where can our audience go to hear more about you?

Well, I have a podcast. It's called Choosing Love. And it's cultivating relationships. What is it? My little tagline, it's cultivating self-compassion in relationships with unwanted pornography use. So you can find that on Apple Podcasts, on Amazon Music, on Google Podcasts, or Google, whatever the Google one is called.

And I have a website, it's camillescowcoaching.com. And then Facebook and Instagram are both camillecowcoaching. Perfect. And I'll put those in the show notes as well. Excellent. Alright, so last question: What is your favorite quote about love?

Alright, so I recently came up with this quote, I mean, discovered this quote. My first thought was, love feels good, and I'm not sure who said it. I think maybe Brooke Castillo might have been the first person where I heard it from and I love that.

But then I was like, wait a minute, I want to share something different, which goes along with that, of that love feels good. And this is from Brené Brown's book, Atlas of the Heart, in her chapter about love, and it says, "We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. And when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. Love is not something we give or get. It is something that we nurture and grow. A connection that can be cultivated between two people only when it exists within each one of them. We can love others only as much as we love ourselves."

I love the part about being vulnerable, and how that openness with ourselves and others is what can cultivate that love. As well as the idea of, we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. I think that goes to, like if we can't feel love for ourselves, then we have this deeper underlying belief of in question and doubt of how can someone else love me even if I don't love me. And so there's always that blocking us from loving others.

So when we cultivate that self-compassion, that love within ourselves, it generates more capacity to love others. And then the idea that love feels good, is like enough motivation to do it. And it can help shut out all of the drama of love, cuz sometimes it's like oh, I shouldn't love this person, because if I love this person then it means I approve of their behavior. So that's not the case. Right. But it's kind of like forgiveness and that we love and we forgive because it feels good for us. Yes. And we can do it regardless of anyone else's behavior. Yes. Such beautiful thoughts.

I love that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Hmmm, something to think about. Well, thank you Camille for sharing your tidbits of love with us. Thank you for the opportunity. My pleasure. Have a good one y'all, and here's to love.

If you would like to become an expert at Loving Yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program, at leannaustin.com

See what comes up, when you say So What?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #39: So What?

Do you have someone in your life that you struggle with? It may be a spouse, your kids, your daughter-in-law, or anyone. Do you notice yourself not liking what they do or say? Well, I've got a trick for you to try that works well for me and my clients.

Start using the phrase, So What? Someone says or does something that you disagree with. Try thinking in your mind, so what? Your mind may then go to, that wasn't very nice. Again think, so what? Whatever is coming up for you, keep asking yourself, so what?

Let me give you a specific example. My son didn't call me back. My mind started spinning about this and I quickly stopped it and said, so what? Well, he's rude, he should call his mama back. And then I'd think, so what? It doesn't really matter. Maybe he's doing something. All of the thoughts, but I would just respond with, so what? Then my brain went to, why can't he communicate with me more? And I thought, so what? Maybe he is communicating with me, just different ways. Doesn't mean he has to call me. So notice what I'm doing here. Everything that my brain is thinking is wrong. I just respond with, so what?

So what is an informal way of saying it doesn't matter. It's not relevant. It's not important. Don't worry about it. See what comes up for you, when you say, so what?

I love this quote by Richelle Goodrich: "Take a step back. Draw in a deep breath. Now ask yourself, 'so what?' Then, after answering, ask yourself again, 'so what?' And then a third time - 'so what?' Chances are you'll come to realize that the issue at hand is not as dire, detrimental, or important as you first thought." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all ~ and hears to 'so what?' and love.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please share and leave a review to help others hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program at leannaustin.com

Are you ready to make the big leap? Listen to Hendrix's tips to make this happen.

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, Episode #38: The Big Leap

I just finished reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix, and highly recommend it. Hendrix starts the book stating that his desire is to remove your last obstacle to ultimate success in wealth, work and love. I'm very interested when someone tells me a way to remove an obstacle from my ultimate success, so I read the book.

Now the one problem that holds us back, Hendrick says, is called the upper limit problem. And he's never met anyone who didn't suffer from it, at least a little bit. So the upper limit problem is this basic pattern: enjoy a period of feeling really good; then do something to mess it up.

Most of the world operates like this, enjoy a period of peace, then plunge into war, create a time of economic expansion, then go into recession or depression. So there's lots of evidence of this pattern.

How do we solve the upper limit problem? Hendrick suggests asking ourselves these questions:

Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?

Am I willing to take the big leap to my ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?

How much love and abundance am I willing to allow?

How am I getting in my own way?

Really, the only relevant question, is whether you will let it be a possibility for you. If you're willing to accept the possibility that things can go well all or most of the time, then you're on your way to making that happen.

Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old familiar zone where we feel secure. One of the biggest drivers of the upper limit problem is a false belief that says, I'm fundamentally flawed and don't deserve success.

If you have a deep old feeling that there's something wrong, bad, or flawed about you, you will find yourself grappling with that issue every time you break through to greater love and financial abundance. When you surpass your upper limit thermostat setting, a little voice in your mind will say, You should not be happy or rich or creative because you are fundamentally flawed. This thought creates cognitive dissonance, the mind rattle that occurs when you try to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time. Given that I'm fundamentally flawed or wrong or bad, how can I possibly be this happy or rich or creative?

The cognitive dissonance must be resolved in one of two ways Hendrick says: by returning to your previous thermostat setting, or by letting go of the old limiting belief, which allows you to stabilize at the new higher level. Now the best way to shine the light of awareness on the thought that you are fundamentally flawed, and label it as what it is.

It's an upper limit bug. Hendrick uses bug in two senses here. It's like a computer bug because it's a false line in your code that causes a breakdown in your operating efficiency. And it's like a bug in the mosquito sense too, because it bites you when you're going to higher levels of love, abundance, and creativity. You start slapping at the bug and bringing yourself back down to your previous level, and then guess what? The bug wins and you lose.

If you want to eliminate your upper limit problem, simply be aware that it's there. Hendrick says, you dissolve the upper limit problem by shining a light of awareness, the false foundations that hold your upper limit problems in place. When you shine the light of awareness, you then are free to soar and explore.

This is what I do in my Lovin Me Program and my Daughter-in-law Course. I help you become aware of the thoughts that are keeping you from what you truly desire. I teach you the model so you can become aware of what you're thinking and feeling, and how it's showing up in your results. Then, if you want to change your results and live your best life, you can do that simply by becoming aware of the thoughts and feelings that are holding you back, and keeping you stuck. As you tweak your thinking, and practice thinking and feeling what you want to instead, you create more love in your life, love for yourself, your daughter-in-law, and everyone around you.

To sum up, one of my favorite quotes by Hendrix is: "The essential move we all need to master is learning to handle more positive energy, success, and love. Instead of focusing on the past, we need to increase our tolerance for things going well in our lives now. If we don't learn how to do this, we suffer in every area of our lives." Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all ~ and here's to taking the big leap and to love!

If you're enjoying this podcast, please leave a review and share with others, to help them hear tidbits of love.

Do you have a daughter-in-law? I have two. They are amazing and I love and adore them, but that wasn't always the case. Whether you love your daughter-in-law already and know there's space for the relationship to become even better than it is. Or you're really struggling with your daughter-in-law, and you feel anxious, worried, or angry every time you're together or even thinking about her. This Lovin My DIL Course is for you.

This course that I created includes years of experience with my daughters-in-law, life coach training, and lots of love and inspiration. Everything I've used to have a beautiful relationship with my daughters-in-law, and I'm sharing it with you.

These five secrets will allow you to stop walking on eggshells, be less worried and anxious whenever you're with or even thinking about your daughter-in-law, and have the loving relationship you truly desire. Click the link in the show notes. And if you purchase now, you'll receive a special bonus. Here's to Lovin My DIL y'all ~ have a good one.

Are you "shoulding" all over yourself?

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tibit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

Hey y'all, welcome to Love Tidbits, episode #37: Should

I've noticed the word should come up often in conversation with other people, and I used to use it a lot on myself as well. Often it's used as a way to motivate ourselves or to express feelings such as frustration, guilt, and regret. I used to should all over myself about countless things, until I realized that telling myself I should be doing more, or being more, wasn't actually helping me do more or be more. In fact, it did the opposite. It left me feeling like I wasn't enough.

I noticed when I used the word should when talking to myself, it wasn't loving me, and accepting me right where I am now. I also realized that when I told my boys or husband that they should or shouldn't do something, I wasn't appreciating their ability to make the best decisions for themselves. And this is not the kind of mom or wife I want to be.

When we think we should do something, it often feels like we don't have the choice to do what we want to do. I like that we have agency to do countless things, and using the word should seems to lessen our ability to choose for ourselves.

So my challenge to y'all, notice how often you tell yourself you should be, or should say, or should do something. And notice too, if you tell others they should as well. As you become aware of this word in your vocabulary, try changing should to I could, or I choose. Let me know what comes up for you, and how this increases the love you feel for yourself and others, as we replace our shoulds with what we truly desire and choose.

I love this quote from Kelly Corbet: "Shoulds' come only from leftover thinking. If we are truly in this moment (the only one there really is), we don't should on ourselves. It's a great freedom. Next time you feel a should coming at you, ask yourself if it really belongs to you!" Hmmm, something to think about.

Have a good one y'all, and here's to not shoulding yourself or others, and to love.

If you're enjoying this podcast, please share and leave a review to help others hear tidbits of love.

If you would like to become an expert at loving yourself, check out my Lovin Me Program @leannaustin.com.

Ways to connect with Tyson: inherentidentity.com @tysonbradleycoaching

You're listening to the Love Tidbits Podcast, where you'll discover a small, tasty, delightful, bite-sized tidbit of love ~ I'm your host, LeAnn Austin

We have the amazing Tyson Bradley sharing some beautiful love insights with us today. Alright Tyson, briefly introduce yourself.

Yeah, so my name is Tyson Bradley. I am the father of two redheaded little girls, and soon to be a boy in December. So that's super fun. And I have a business where I focus on helping people change their identity, so that they can accomplish their goals. Because I think that everything is, that's the core of everything, is who we really are.

So I'm writing a book right now and it's going to be a New York Times bestselling book, and the working title is "Discover Your Inherent Identity: The Simple and Effective Way to Create Change and Make It Last." So that's what I'm doing. That's who I am.

That is so cool and so exciting, and a new little boy on the way. That's awesome. So fun. Alright, so I've got three questions for you. The first, how do you incorporate love into your business and or your life?

I think that love unifies everything in everyone. And I know you're going to ask this later about what my favorite quote is, and I don't know if I can go out of order. Yes, you can. This totally applies, but my favorite quote on love comes from 1 John 4:8, which in the shortest version of it is just "God is love". And when I talk about helping others and helping myself discover our inherent identity, what I'm really talking about is that inherently we are children of God.

We are his sons and daughters. We're born of heavenly parents. We have spiritual bodies, and as crazy as that can be, or may sound to some people, if he is love and I'm made with his DNA, then I am love too. And it's like, for me, it's like I want to be love and I also want to be loved. And I love the word beloved, because it's like, it's just be-loved. How can I just be loved, as well as be love to other people?

So when I incorporate it into my business and my life, one example that comes up is with my kids. I have normally been the frustrated parent . That was my, that still comes up at times because I've got a seven year old and a four year old, and they test me and they test my patience. And I feel like love is, the access to, it's the access point to my heart. And it is what naturally comes out of me when I connect to my heart versus my head. Because if I'm in my head, and I'm thinking that they need to do something and they're not doing it, then I'm getting into, they should. It's like they should go to bed and they're not, or they should eat their dinner and they're not. And at a very like brain space thought level, that creates frustration.

But when I tune into heart, and when I tune into love, and I tune into how do I show up to my kids and who do I want to be, then it's almost like those things don't really matter, and all I want is just to be with them and to love them. And so these are like pretty recent, but that is how I feel like I'm incorporating love into my life

And in terms of business, it's one of my dreams that I want to always act from love, that not the, I'm reaching out to you, for example, it's like this podcast. LeAnn, I'm going to reach out to you, because I want my message to spread. It is purely selfish. You know, that could be the way. That could be the motivation driving my actions for my business, is that I reach out to a bunch of people, try and get a bunch of podcasts so that, it's for my growth. But where I want to come from, and the thing that I feel is more powerful, is when I'm just sincerely care about people and know that this is what I have to share will help people, and that it is all for love. That if you said no to me, or if someone said no, it wouldn't matter because I would just be like, Listen, I'm just here to share this amazing message with people, so if you like it, great. If you don't, it's also great. I love you, kind of thing. So that's how I incorporate it.

Ah, that's so beautiful. And I love the beloved. Be-loved. That's a beautiful way to look at it too. Thank you. Alright, question number two. What is something you love about you and why?

I thought about this and I just love myself a lot, and so I was just like, well, I love that I keep moving forward no matter what. I just can't stop. I can't not seek for further learning and understanding and further growth for myself, and I love that.

I also love that I can yodel, and sing, and do impressions, and that I'm good with an audience on the stage. And I love how I combine art and science in new ways that brings clarity and power to my life. And so I think about all these things, and I'm grateful for the question, just because we don't really think about it very often. To just say, what do you love about yourself? Cause when you really think about all these things that you love about yourself, it's like, that's where my heart gets full. Because I think wow, I am cool. I do like myself. I do like what I can do and what I've been gifted in terms of talents and abilities. So those are some things I love about myself.

That is so good. And I was lucky enough to go to a mastermind event that Tyson was the MC at, and it was amazing. So fun watching him in action. So yeah, kudos to you for all you do with that. That's cool. Alright, before I ask you the last question, where can our audience go to find out more about you?

So I would tell them to go to inherentidentity.com, because there's an amazing worksheet and kind of a walkthrough that will help them to incorporate what I mean when I say, you need to be love. There's a being that comes before doing. And so if you're struggling loving other people in terms of how you act, we first have to address, how do you become a loving person? How do you be a loving person, and how do you be loved even? And so whether it's habits of thought or whether it's habits of action, this process that I've created there is among the most powerful tools that I've done for myself, that has created some amazing changes for me and my clients. So that's where I would go. And if you want to follow me on Instagram, I'm @tysonbradleycoaching there.

Okay, and then you also have a podcast as well, correct?

Yeah. Inherent Identity Podcast. So it's all the same, all that kind of stuff. But yeah, I would go to those places because it's all good and helpful stuff.

Excellent. And I'll put those in the show notes as well. Alright, last question, and I know you mentioned this before, but if you have anything else you want to say about it or sum it up, we'll do that. What is your favorite quote about love.

Okay, I'll just reference it again. It's 1 John 4:8, and the very last phrase in it says, "God is love." And he's always been love. And the way we often think about God is that it is an unconditional love. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to be anything special. You could sit on the couch all day. And it's just love for you, and everything that you do, everything that you don't do, every mistake that you make, because he sees the end from the beginning. Like our whole life story is just one eternal, like now before him, he has read your story and he already knows you're going to win.

And, it's like to be able to look at someone and know that they're inherently amazing, because God didn't create anything that's not perfect. Like people are born with deformities and mental issues, and that's a physical thing. But in terms of our spiritual bodies, those were created perfectly, and they reside within us, in these physical bodies. And so there's no deformities within you, inherently. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing going on. It's just you are made with his DNA. And if he is love, then you are love, period. And so that's probably what I would add to that quote.

What a beautiful quote and scripture, "God is love."

Hmmm, something to think about y'all. Thank you Tyson, for sharing your tidbits of love with us. Have a good one, and here's to love.

Do you have a daughter-in-law? I have two. They are amazing, and I love and adore them, but that wasn't always the case. Whether you love your daughter-in-law already and know their space for the relationship to become even better than it is. Or you're really struggling with your daughter-in-law, and you feel anxious, worried, or angry every time you're together or even thinking about her. This Lovin My DIL Course is for you.

This course that I created, includes years of experience with my daughters-in-law, life coach training, and lots of love and inspiration. Everything I've used to have a beautiful relationship with my daughters-in-law, and I'm sharing it with you. These five secrets will allow you to stop walking on eggshells, be less worried and anxious whenever you're with or even thinking about your daughter-in-law, and have the loving relationship you truly desire.

Click the link in the show notes, and if you purchase now, you'll receive a special bonus. Here's to Lovin My DIL y'all. Have a good one.