Mormon Stories Podcast

Austin Wheeler shares his personal journey navigating Mormonism, military culture, and faith deconstruction. He recounts growing up in the church, his early experiences with trauma, and how Mormonism influenced his views on violence and masculinity. After a series of life events—ranging from military service at West Point to his mission in Taiwan—he confronts the toxic elements of both the military and the church, including dehumanization and harmful beliefs. Ultimately, he reflects on how his experiences shaped his disillusionment with Mormonism, his struggles with identity, and the deep questions about purpose and meaning that arose as a result.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:01:55 Introductions

00:08:55 His parents divorced when he was in seventh grade

00:10:00 He was sexually assaulted by a ward member and doubled down in his belief

00:31:00 How his High School shaped his identity

00:42:15 Prepper culture associated with the military culture

00:58:55 The Mormon culture is that they are going to build you in OUR image

01:20:00 Experiences at the Mormon Singles Ward

01:23:37 Called to the Tawaiian mission

01:36:00 He started a fight club in the MTC

01:45:00 Mormon culture makes a lot of people weird

01:50:35 His mission president thought he was sick because he had sinned

01:53:15 They sent him home for worthiness reasons, not because he was sick

02:03:45 He went back on his mission

02:24:00 Meeting his wife

02:42:00 Authority and obedience in the church and in the military

02:56:20 Opening his mind to the reality that the church had a lot of shortcomings

03:07:10 How did his military career end?

03:19:45 How did his military service end?

03:27:35 Because he was never deployed is he happy or sad? Broken or healed?

03:36:35 If you want to connect with people who have been in the military

03:48:30 Nihilistic views and the emptiness of existence

03:53:20 Final thoughts

___________________

At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor todayOne-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories Paypal: https://paypal.me/mormonstories Join this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/joinOur Platforms:🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us:📧 [email protected]📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117

Paul reflects on his journey from being raised in the Mormon church to eventually leaving it. He opens up about his childhood, feeling isolated due to his neurodivergence, and his complicated relationship with his family. Paul shares his path to Mormonism, how he felt a strong connection to the faith at first, and his experiences as a missionary, including the challenges he faced in Argentina. Over time, he became disillusioned with the church, particularly after learning new information and struggling with its stance on LGBTQ issues. As Paul navigates life post-church, he discusses his career, his evolving understanding of love and relationships, and the healing process through music and self-reflection. The episode explores his feelings of loneliness, the importance of recognizing toxic behavior, and his journey to self-acceptance after leaving the Mormon faith.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:03:35 Defining neurodivergence

00:14:30 Religious experiences before the LDS church

00:27:18 First introduction to Morminsim

00:47:28 Mission call to Buenos Aires and being pressured to confess sexual sins

01:00:55 How neurodivergence played into his mission

01:16:28 Parental alienation & trying to reconnect with his mom

01:32:58 “Mormonism is passive aggressive”

01:41:25 Paul began to get in trouble for questioning priesthood holders

01:59:20 November 2015 LGBT policy and Paul’s choice to stop attending church

02:14:50 Feeling love from the members, but not the institution

02:28:25 Narcissists only see their own reality

02:44:10 Do you feel more fulfilled than when you were Mormon?

02:56:04 Final questions - “Where will you go?”

___________________

At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor todayOne-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories Paypal: https://paypal.me/mormonstories Join this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/joinOur Platforms:🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us:📧 [email protected]📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117

In this episode of LDS Discussions, we explore how BYU Professor Anthony Sweat’s artwork reflects the troubling aspects of church history found in the CES Letter by Jeremy Runnells. Despite being excommunicated for questioning the church, Runnells’ CES Letter, published in 2013, exposes discrepancies in the official narrative. Meanwhile, Sweat’s art, starting in 2014, delves into controversial topics like Joseph Smith's treasure digging, the use of a seer stone, and polygamy. We compare Sweat's paintings to the CES Letter's criticisms, highlighting how the church’s history is often presented inaccurately. Join us as we discuss these bold portrayals and the ongoing tension between church teachings and historical truth.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:00:00 Intro

00:06:55 This is episode 60 of LDS Discussions

00:10:50 Introduction to Anthony Sweat

00:15:20 Historical overview with these controversial topics being covered

00:22:30 Earlier artwork depicting images of the restoration

00:34:30 The CES Letter by Jeremy Runnells was published in 2013

00:35:50 How members were taught the translation happened versus how it actually happened

00:41:33 First painting - “The First Visions” by Anthony Sweat

00:54:46 Quote from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

00:57:22 “Gazelem, A Stone” by Anthony Sweat, Joseph obtaining his brown seer stone

01:06:13 The Harmony Treasure Searcher by Anthony Sweat01:15:25 Joseph Smith’s white stone and brown stone

01:18:46 Clip of Anthony Sweat sharing concerns from a BYU student

01:22:07 CES Letter and Anthony Sweat saying correct artwork wouldn’t communicate what the Church wants to communicate

01:26:45 “Oliver Cowdery and the Gift of the Rod” by Anthony Sweat

01:33:44 “The Ordination of Q. Walker Lewis” by Anthony Sweat

01:39:09 “An Angel with a Drawn Sword” by Anthony Sweat

01:48:06 “Destruction of the Nauvoo Expositor” by Anthony Sweat

01:52:25 “Purgatory: Joseph, Emma, and the Revelation on Plural Marriage” by Anthony Sweat

01:59:44 Clip of Anthony Sweat talking about painting controversial aspects of church history

02:02:35 The church is still trying NOT to show the rock in a hat during translation

02:07:25 Clip of Anthony Sweat and the translation process (the church telling an artist to change his painting)

02:13:13 Other depictions from Anthony Sweat

___________________

At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor todayOne-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories Paypal: https://paypal.me/mormonstories Join this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/joinOur Platforms:🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us:📧 [email protected]📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117

In this episode of Mormon Stories, Erika Nordfelt shares her powerful journey from a devout Mormon upbringing to finding healing and self-discovery. Erika recounts her experiences growing up in a close-knit Mormon family, navigating high school in Colorado, and attending BYU-Idaho, where she faced struggles with religious expectations and marital dynamics shaped by the Church.She candidly discusses topics like sexual shame, pornography in marriage, and the role of Twelve-Step programs, highlighting the challenges of reconciling faith, identity, and personal growth. Erika opens up about her turning points, leaving the Church with her husband, and her work as a therapist, witnessing firsthand the impact of shame within Mormon culture.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:00:00 Intro

00:03:18 Erika’s intention for coming onto Mormon Stories and sharing her story

00:06:12 Erika’s upbringing and her parents

00:14:32 The best of Mormonism is being raised outside of Utah or Idaho, Mormonism should be the salt not the whole meal

00:16:30 High School years and feeling undesirable in the dating aspect

00:23:18 Her relationship with her body in dance and modesty

00:35:00 Sexual neglect in her upbringing and in the Mormon church

00:37:26 Attending BYU-Idaho - She did not serve a mission because she met her husband

00:49:20 Her awareness to physical touch and how she was raised

00:54:20 How the Mormon church shaped their marital relationship as far as gender roles, etc.

01:06:07 Learning that her husband struggled with masturbation and porn and how she handled it

01:20:00 She felt so much despair when her husband confessed to viewing pornography

01:29:23 The Twelve Step Program and what part it played in her marriage

01:39:20 How long did she go to these Twelve Step meetings and was it working?

01:46:10 Moving to Rexburg and getting new jobs on campus

01:56:00 Seeing clients for the first time at the BYU-Idaho Counseling Center

02:03:55 She had a front row seat to Mormon suffering while working as a counselor

02:14:35 Checking in with their marriage during this time in their life

02:26:55 The beginning of the end lasted for five years, holes being poked in the Gospel

02:33:10 She began exploring troublesome church topics from a safe place in the church

02:43:40 Has leaving the church affected her therapy practice at all?

02:50:40 A better way to approach porn and masturbation

03:19:13 Erika Nordfelt wrote a book called “Don’t Walk Alone”

____________

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January 9 saw the release of a new Netflix series, American Primeval, set in the context of mid-19th-century Utah. Though the series is fictionalized, many of the events and peoples depicted are real, including the Utah War, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the Mormon settlers, and the Shoshone, Ute, and Paiute Indians.

Historians Barbara Jones Brown and Darren Parry join host John Dehlin for this live podcast to answer viewer's questions about which aspects of the series are factual and which are historical fiction. Barbara is co-author of Vengeance Is Mine: The Mountain Meadows Massacre and Its Aftermath, and Darren is the author of The Bear River Massacre: A Shoshone History. Barbara and Darren offer a unique perspective because they are not only historians of this time period in Utah, they are direct descendants of peoples depicted in the mini-series--Darren is Northwestern Shoshone, and Barbara is a descendant of perpetrators of the horrific massacre at Mountain Meadows.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:00:00 Intro

00:06:25 Photos of ancestors

00:14:15 The creators did not intend this to be historically accurate

00:23:55 We need to debunk that this was done by the Native Americans, it was NOT

00:33:45 Jim Bridger’s character was the funnest character in the show

00:42:45 Brigham Young (Kim Coates) what is right and wrong

00:47:40 Jedediah M. Grant and the Mormon Reformation

00:57:25 Elias Higbee and John M. Higbee

01:07:45 Mountain Meadows started as a cattle raid

01:18:50 Made up fiction from the Nauvoo Legion

01:26:11 Two Moons - great female lead who had had her tongue cut out

01:30:40 Red Feather

01:35:00 Winter Bird - Strong female character

01:39:10 Sarah Rowell and Devin Rowell - neither were Mormon, main characters,

01:43:20 Jacob Pratt and Abish Pratt were both Mormon

01:46:55 Wild Bill Hickman - member of the Nauvoo Legion

01:51:20 What Barbara said about the missed opportunity in the TV show

01:55:00 Ned Blackhawk

Mormon Stories Thanks Our Generous Donors!

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Join Lauren Johnson Matthias (@HiddenTrueCrime ) Megan Conner (@Third_Verse ) Mindy Caldwell, and John Dehlin as they react to Shari Franke's new book "The House of My Mother: A Daughter's Quest for Freedom" by Shari Franke, Ruby Franke's oldest daughter.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:02:15 Trigger warning for the book

00:14:30 Questions that will be covered in this episode involving Jodi, Ruby, Kevin, and the Mormon church

00:19:32 Ruby and Kevin’s formation of their relationship and early family life

00:28:30 Was Ruby Franke set up with a disadvantage by Mormon gender roles?

00:35:18 Personality dynamics in the Franke family and Ruby’s profile as a mom and how much room the children had for their emotions

00:39:42 Childhood emotional neglect with Ruby Franke and her children

00:43:25 The pajama story and Ruby telling Shari she’d been friends after she had a baby

00:57:38 Mormonism and Vlogging

01:05:20 Consent and ethics in family vlogging

01:12:00 Shari Franke’s mental health - thinking that her tummy aches are demonic possession

01:29:03 Ruby removed Shari from therapy after Shari wanted to quit piano

01:40:50 Shari starts her own YouTube channel, while Ruby did not help her grow it she demand some of the proceeds of the account

01:43:46 Chad’s involvement in Shari’s story

01:52:30 Why Ruby reached out to Jodi was because of Chad

02:13:30 Meeting with Jodi as their therapist and showing her business structure as a cult

02:21:10 Truth and Distortion became the bane of Shari’s existence

02:34:50 Jodi’s tactics around isolation

02:41:18 How Jodi saw sex everywhere and how she and Ruby were queer

02:49:23 Visions of Glory and how it ties in with Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt

02:56:34 Shari Franke compared Lori Vallow to Ruby Franke

03:00:30 Thom Harrison and his influence over these cult leaders within the Mormon church

03:11:35 The darkest part of the book was about Derek and Shari’s sexual assault

03:31:14 Church disciplinary part of Shari’s story involving what happened with Derek

03:41:55 Shari is familyless for a while, running into her dad on the BYU campus and he was afraid to talk to her

04:04:05 Who is the main villain in this story? Is it Jodi or Ruby?

04:12:24 Shari drawing connections in the Mormon church

04:27:15 Shari’s final comments at the end of the book about her mother being narcissistic

Mormon Stories Thanks Our Generous Donors!

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In this powerful episode of Mormon Stories, Clare and Jackson share their personal journeys of growing up in the Mormon church, struggling with shame, guilt, and anxiety, and eventually undergoing faith transitions. Clare discusses her challenges with modesty, body image, and mental health, especially during her mission, while Jackson opens up about his battles with pornography, shame, and a dangerous mission experience in Honduras. Together, they reflect on their experiences with church teachings, therapy, and the emotional toll of deconstructing their faith. This episode explores their healing process, the impact of questioning Mormonism, and the growth they’ve found in rebuilding their lives and relationship after leaving the church.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:01:35 Intentions for being on Mormon Stories

00:17:50 Modesty and Young Women lessons

00:23:30 High School years

00:32:34 Jackson’s Mormon upbringing

00:39:40 Adolescent years

00:47:13 Issues with pornography and masturbation

01:07:20 Claire’s mission

01:16:13 Having panic attacks while serving her mission

01:27:35 Someone proposed to her on her mission

01:28:25 Jackson’s mission

01:35:00 Jackson’s dangerous mission experience

01:47:25 Claire going to college after her mission

01:51:30 He went through a disciplinary council

01:58:20 He was assigned to the Addiction Recovery Program

02:04:55 Meeting, engaged and married was five months

02:17:40 Parenthood and the church

02:24:25 TikTok was her demise of her testimony

02:31:10 Why she didn’t tell her husband of her struggles in the church

02:40:16 Jackson’s journey with his testimony

02:47:40 What happened after the faith crisis?

02:55:50 Healing after the faith transitions

03:07:00 How will their friends and parents respond to this episode?

03:14:03 Rebuilding after their faith transition

____________

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A recent article from the Salt Lake Tribune showcases how the Mormon church education commissioner Clark Gilbert has implemented stringent measures to ensure that faculty members across church-affiliated institutions, including Brigham Young University and BYU-Idaho, align with the church’s teachings. Professors are now facing many hardships. Their social media posts are being audited, many are being fired for showing LGBTQ+ and feminist support, or for experiencing doubts in their Mormon beliefs. Some professors are being terminated simply because their spouse stopped believing in the church. Top scholars no longer want to apply to BYU and many professors are seeking employment elsewhere. These changes have led many to argue that this approach suppresses academic freedom and creates an environment of fear among BYU faculty members, who may feel pressured to conform to specific interpretations of Mormon church doctrinal teachings to maintain their position.Join us today as we talk in-depth about these controversies and the recent news article from the Salt Lake Tribune titled "Dark Days: BYU professors are running scared as premier LDS school steps backwards." According to the US and World News Report, BYU ranked #61 in 2017 and then dropped to #109 in 2024 out of 436 National Universities, but are these new changes going to drop the university's ranking? Join the livestream to share your own personal experiences in this regard!Link to the original article: https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2025/01/05/byu-blue-why-these-are-dark-days/

Show Notes

YouTube

00:02:57 Biography of Clark Gilbert as the Mormon church education commissioner

00:08:22 Clip - Elder Holland calling for more musket fire

00:25:10 Clip of Oaks and Eyring comparing the church to standing the wrong way in an elevator

00:31:22 Reading the article from Salt Lake Tribune “Dark Days: New Rules…”

00:39:35 Shutting down the ability to be honest and asking the professors to be unChristlike

00:49:04 The Mormon church favors obedience over all things

00:51:44 If the church continues this way it would be less like Notre Dame and more like Liberty University

01:02:50 The four groups of BYU faculty members (the faithful core, the supportive center, the secular first and open foes)

01:13:05 The process of hiring at any Mormon church university

01:19:25 Could these specific things (LGBTQ support, criticizing Trump, being a feminist, etc) get BYU professors in trouble?

01:32:00 Are women being singled out to not be hired at BYU?

01:36:00 Spouses being required to attend in prospective hire interviews at Mormon universities

01:41:20 Creepy and Orwellian aspects of the BYU hiring practices

01:58:00 ExMormon Reddit - The firing of the BYU-Idaho employees is a warning shot to Rexburg. Support your family and risk everything

02:00:15 ExMormon Reddit - Kevin Pearson and Clark Gilbert are encouraging an orthodox, fundamentalist, approach to their responsibilities

02:10:05 Some positive comments on Clark Gilbert

02:30:17 Don’t go to BYU, do not apply or attend this university

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In today's episode, John sits down for a conversation with immigration attorney, Justin Sweeney. Justin grew up LDS in Mesa, AZ, served a mission in Argentina, and has served in many leadership positions within the church. He was even serving in his branch presidency up until the end of 2024. Justin discusses how he felt overworked in his church callings, questioning polygamy and masonry, and his journey of discovering the true history of the church.

In this episode, Sandra Tanner and Chris delve into key figures and moments in Mormon historical scholarship. They discuss individuals like Dee Jay Nelson, Mark Hofman, and Wesley Walters, highlighting their contributions to uncovering evidence that challenges official LDS narratives, including the Palmyra revivals and the 1826 trial of Joseph Smith.The conversation touches on the work of scholars like Dan Vogel, Stan Larson, and D. Michael Quinn, as well as influential writers such as Fawn Brodie. Topics include changes in the Book of Mormon, early Mormon controversies, and the deeper complexities of Mormon history. This episode provides a compelling exploration of the intersection between faith, evidence, and critical analysis.

Show Notes

YouTube

00:00:00 Brief review of key points from the previous episode

00:01:23 Discussion about the alias of Steven Mayfield/Stan Fields

00:11:10 Scholar Dee Jay Nelson’s false claim of having a PhD, Tanners losing some credibility

00:21:27 Joseph Smith’s mistakes in the Book of Abraham translation using heretic and hieroglyphics simultaneously

00:22:56 Insights into Mark Hofman’s forgery activities

00:28:10 Kerry Ross Boren exploring efforts to dig into Tanner-related controversies

00:35:40 Profiling Wesley Walters and his evidence against the Palmyra revivals and his discovery of the 1826 trial for Joseph Smith

01:06:00 Discussing M.T. Lamb and Mike Marquardt’s scholarly works

01:22:55 Stan Larson and the thousands of changes made to the Book of Mormon text

01:31:20 Key Figures in Mormon Studies like D. Michael Quinn, Fawn Brodie, Curt Bench, etc.

02:00:36 Insights into Sterling McMurrin’s perspectives and the New Mormon Thesis

02:06:30 Addressing the number of wives Joseph Smith had relationships with

02:14:00 Reflections on Christianity and Jesus Christ’s Atonement

Mormon Stories Thanks Our Generous Donors!

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Contact us:
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PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117

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