This is the real and irrefutable reason that you don't have the things that you say you "want." I understand that is a bold statement BUT being a full-time creator from a small town I realize that living life on your terms takes everything that you have. It was only after I traveled around and learned where and how to put my efforts into my craft was I able to do it efficiently and confidently. Everywhere that I go is a lesson or a "tool" if you will that I put into my tool belt of life and experiences. Most people leave life up to chance though and end up not liking where it takes them and learn how to cope with that "unfairness" if there is something that you enjoy chase it. Anything is monetizable, if you are the best at something money will come. It just takes that leap of faith, self belief, and the journey of mastering whatever that is to get there. Instead, most of the people that I see (talking from experience of my home town) grow up avoiding everything in their lives or they grow up with a victim mentality after high school ends and they turn to things that help them forgo those feeling in the moment I.e. alcohol, drugs, women, etc. In an effort to numb whatever problem that they have instead of facing it. These problems could be not knowing what they want out of life, or a bad relationship with friends or family or even significant others, or they get caught up in a job they hate, etc. People get so caught up in feeling like they need to have fun or that they are entitled to this or that. So many of those people get caught up in impressing other people because of insecurities that they personally have. If your'e the type of person I'm describing its okay, just become self aware and change it. Easier said then done I know but worth it regardless. Get over all your pitfalls and I promise you'll learn prosperity and humility along the way. Yeah having fun is nice but when you get to a certain point into your success you can actually benefit from it rather than having to make time for it. You get to a point where you actually benefit from having fun, that it becomes a tool in your tool belt. So again, having fun is nice but have you ever cared about something in your life so much that just the sheer thought of not putting every single piece of your effort into it makes you want to work that much harder? Have you ever went to bed exited to wake up the next day? Have you ever heard your alarm go off and you pop out of bed because the adventure you're facing that day is such an excitement for you? Most people haven't. I would say 99% of people haven't. So what I would say is instead of going to the bar or playing those video games you go out and find something that makes you happy, something that you look forward to doing and wouldn't mind mastering, and find something that helps make the world a better place (benefit someone other than just yourself). That's where you start. It does take time but it's worth it. The reason most people don't know what they want to do with their life is because they haven't done enough things... so go out and enjoy your life, step out of your comfort zone, try new things. That is unless you're okay with mediocrity.