Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered

By Alisha Burns & Rhiannon HendersonSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Parenting Kids & Family

Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered episodes

October 07Episode 26: I'm going to fight until I get bored
Both hosts have picked up a new hobby in the last week, and neither is remotely surprised. They are three weeks out from a Hong Kong Disney trip with friends and four small kids, which Alisha has turned into a full creative project: matching t-shirts made on her Cricut with iron-on vinyl, "Disney bounding" outfit plans, and bedazzled sneakers for the kids (and herself) so nobody is clip-clopping around the park in dress-up heels. Rhiannon has fallen into cross stitch and embroidery after buying kits for her daughter, then buying many more for herself, then discovering she'd accidentally bought embroidery instead.
The episode opens with a very good week: school holidays that finally have some rhythm, a bush-school day outdoors, and a first-ever two-wheeler bike ride — plus the saga of a six-centimetre plastic spider named Spidey, who now has a handbag, a ribbon harness and a Halloween costume to match. From there the hosts dig into the "hobby graveyard" every ADHD and AuDHD household knows: the knitting, the sewing, the Lego, the crates of half-finished kits, and the habit of offloading a lapsed hobby onto another neurodivergent friend.
It's a warm, funny episode about hyperfocus, perfectionism (especially when your child "does it wrong"), and trying to find hobbies that give your brain something to do that isn't your phone.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Why a week outdoors in the sunshine has made such a difference to mood in the school holidays
A six-centimetre plastic spider called Spidey, and the handbag, ribbon harness and Halloween costume that followed
A first ride on a two-wheeler bike, and the "I'm going to do this now" determination of a neurodivergent kid
Preparing for a Hong Kong Disney trip: Disney bounding, matching outfits, Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and iron-on vinyl t-shirts
Bedazzled sneakers as a compromise to avoid high-heel arguments at the park
Falling down a cross stitch and embroidery rabbit hole — and discovering you've bought embroidery instead
Buying multiples of something you love "in case it breaks" (four identical dresses and three matching kits)
The hobby that is also a stain-removal obsession, and why "just buy new ones" isn't the point
Being "not crafty by nature" but determined enough to sew, cut down tablecloths into curtains or hack a foam spider into a costume
Hobbies that don't continue, and offloading them onto other neurodivergent people
Keeping a "butterfly board" of ideas for later instead of acting on every new interest
Choosing a hobby that isn't your phone, and that your child can see and join in
Teaching your own child a skill versus someone else doing it — and perfectionism when they "do it wrong"
Lego, second-hand sets and the tension between building to the instructions and letting a child play freely
Different "flavours" of neurodivergence, and a friend who measures every picture before hanging it
Disney merchandise guilt, "YOLO" shopping and why a spending plan can be derailed by PDA
Setting project deadlines to give hyperfocus a finish line
A Facebook Marketplace seller whose hobby-graveyard listings are comedy gold
Key Takeaways
A new hobby is often a new hyperfocus: intense, fast and not always sustainable. Naming that, rather than judging it, makes it easier to enjoy the burst and let it go when it fades.
A project with a deadline (shoes to bedazzle before a trip, a costume before Halloween) can give hyperfocus a finish line — as long as it doesn't take over sleep and other priorities.
A hobby that keeps your hands busy and produces something your child can see can feel better than another hour on a phone — even if your brain keeps running while you stitch.
Perfectionism shows up in hobbies too: it can be hard to watch your child "do it wrong," and sometimes someone else teaching the skill works better for everyone.
Outdoors, sunshine, movement and connection — a bike ride and a chat in the sun — can lift the mood of the whole household, even when you don't want to go outside.
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone with a drawer, shelf or crate of half-finished kits and "I'll get back to it" supplies. Parents trying to find a hobby that isn't scrolling. Anyone about to take small children to Disney and already planning outfits, shoes and ears. And anyone who recognises the thrill of "I'm going to work this out" — right up until they don't.
A Message From This Episode
A hobby doesn't have to be finished to count. If it gave you joy, kept your hands busy, or gave you something to do alongside your kid, it did its job — and the hobby graveyard is just proof that you tried things.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
43 min
September 30Episode 25: Mine's not regulated
School holidays have just started for Rhiannon and are halfway done for Alisha, and both houses are full of big feelings. Alisha shares a car-park standoff over a seatbelt and a tearful rescue of a dead moth; Rhiannon talks about a daughter who can't decide on shoes, a mum who can't decide on dinner, and a lift being drilled in the building at the exact wrong moment. It's the perfect setup for this week's topic: dysregulation.
The hosts go back to basics with proper definitions. Dysregulation isn't a mood, a choice or "bad behaviour" — it's a nervous system that has lost its ability to get back to baseline after stress. They walk through the "window of tolerance," the difference between hyper-arousal (big, loud, fast, even giddy) and hypo-arousal (quiet, foggy, boneless, shut down), and the body and pattern signs that are easy to mistake for plain behaviour, like regression, increased stimming, appetite changes, sleep disruption and all-or-nothing thinking.
Then they flip it around to what dysregulation looks like in adults — snapping, racing thoughts, jaw clenching, numbing out with a screen, being unable to decide what's for dinner — and how RSD, masking and sensory overload stack on top for neurodivergent parents. The second half is the practical part: what co-regulation actually is ("lending your regulated nervous system"), a step-by-step sequence for doing it, and what to do when you're the one who's dysregulated and there's no one to co-regulate you.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Why school holidays can bring more big feelings, not fewer, when a child who masks all day at school is no longer using up that energy
Parenting without the authoritarian style you grew up with, and why that style can still creep back in when your tank is empty
What dysregulation actually is: a physiological state, not a choice, and not "being bad"
The window of tolerance, and why it can be smaller for neurodivergent brains
Hyper-arousal in kids: meltdowns, lashing out, bolting, talking faster or non-stop, and giddiness or silliness that won't settle
Hypo-arousal in kids: going quiet, zoning out, clumsiness, going limp, monosyllabic answers
Body and pattern signs that get mistaken for behaviour: regression (baby talk, clinginess, forgetting how to dress), increased stimming, appetite changes, sleep disruption, and all-or-nothing thinking
What dysregulation looks like in adults: snapping, racing thoughts, catastrophising, jaw clenching, shallow breathing, and the quieter version of checking out, scrolling and struggling to make simple decisions
How RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria), masking and sensory overload layer on top for neurodivergent parents
Why generic advice like "just take a breath" doesn't always work, and what can help instead (pressure, movement, removing sensory input first)
What co-regulation actually means, and why self-regulation is the end goal rather than the starting point
A step-by-step sequence: regulate yourself first, reduce your own output, connection before correction, and repair after rather than during
What to do when you're the dysregulated one: self-soothing anchors and pre-planned "when I'm dysregulated, I will…" scripts
Making a calm-moment craft project with your child: a box of cards with regulation ideas for both of you
Why self-care that doesn't switch your brain off (like tidying) can quietly leave you running on empty
Dysregulation as a skills gap or a capacity gap — "too much input, not enough resource left" — rather than defiance or manipulation
Key Takeaways
Dysregulation is a nervous system state, not a behaviour problem. You can't reason someone out of it — you have to help them feel safe first.
Hyper-arousal isn't always a meltdown. Giddiness, non-stop talking and silliness that won't settle can be early signs that a child is heading toward overload, which gives you a chance to de-escalate earlier.
Regression, clinginess, increased stimming, sleep changes and food refusal can all be stress signals, not attention-seeking or defiance.
You can't co-regulate someone else from a dysregulated state. Coming back to your own window first — name it, breathe, unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, feet flat on the floor — comes before everything else.
Connection before correction, and repair after, not during: save the lecture, consequences and teaching moment for when everyone is back in their window — and not every moment needs to become a teaching moment.
Pre-planning helps. A little menu of 60-second, 5-minute and longer regulation options, written down in a calm moment, gives you something to reach for when you can't think.
Who This Episode Is For
Parents who are tired of hearing "just stay calm" when their own nervous system is already maxed out. Parents of kids who hold it together at school and fall apart at home. Anyone who grew up with authoritarian parenting and is trying to do it differently without a roadmap. And anyone who recognised themselves in the "I can run a business but I can't decide what's for dinner" description.
A Message From This Episode
You can't regulate your kid until you've found your own footing, and no one taught most of us how. Naming it out loud, taking a beat, and repairing afterwards isn't perfect parenting — it's a skill you're both learning, together. Try it once this week: name your dysregulation out loud before you react, and notice what happens.
(This episode is general information and parenting experience shared by two parents, not clinical or medical advice. If you're concerned about your child's development or your own wellbeing, a GP, psychologist or occupational therapist can help.)
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
41 min
September 23Episode 24: It's a fun place inside my head
Alisha plays support person for a friend's IVF egg retrieval, Rhiannon unpacks what happened when she lapsed on her GLP-1 microdose, and both reflect on parenting without repeating how they were raised.

This week starts with a genuinely lovely story: Alisha spent her morning as an emergency support person for a woman she didn't know, picked up from an IVF clinic after her eighth egg retrieval, because clinics require someone to sign patients out. It's a small window into the fertility world most listeners won't have seen, and a nice reminder that community call-outs work.
From there it's a proper September check-in. Alisha's been slowly excavating a hallway full of unsold "fertility hamper" stock — a classic ADHD business idea she followed through on buying for but never marketing — and has finally regrouped it into a bookcase instead of a guilt-inducing pile of pink boxes. Her Father's Day also went sideways in a very relatable way: a surprise gift ambush from her daughter, a full meltdown over finding a friend to see the new Harry Potter movie, and a last-minute dash that somehow still went smoothly because she'd booked tickets in advance.
The heart of the episode, though, is Rhiannon's health update. She's been on a low-dose GLP-1 medication for chronic pain and inflammation (she lives with fibromyalgia and lipedema) and has genuinely noticed her patience, executive function and pain levels shift for the better on it — but she's lapsed on taking it for a few weeks, and the return of tailbone pain, neck pain and headaches has her wondering how much of it was doing. It's a candid, detailed conversation about what microdosing GLP-1s for pain and inflammation (rather than weight loss) can actually look like, including a rough reaction to the originally prescribed dose that had her back on the couch. The episode closes on something both hosts keep coming back to: how understanding their own neurodivergent brains has completely changed how they parent, especially around not squashing their daughters' joy and excitement in public the way they were taught to as kids.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Alisha's morning as a support person for a friend's IVF egg retrieval, and what that process actually involves
Finally dealing with a hallway full of unsold "fertility hamper" business stock — an ADHD hyperfocus idea with zero follow-through on the marketing
Clearing out under the bed (and the immediate chaos of kids, pets and soft toys moving straight back in)
A Father's Day gift ambush, a Harry Potter meltdown over not having a friend to go with, and a last-minute dash to the cinema that still went smoothly
Dysregulation at the movies and in Ikea afterward, and choosing seats deliberately to give room for it
Parenting differently to avoid repeating an authoritarian upbringing, even when it's exhausting in the moment
Rhiannon's September reset: finishing a storage room clean-out, a big pile of folding, and embracing "a win is a win" instead of chasing perfection
Swapping to a new doona and navigating a Father's Day scrapbook project with a daughter who wants creative input
Washing machine, dishwasher and dryer maintenance updates
Listener feedback on the Kat Richardson "Handfish" episode, and discovering there's a real one at the Melbourne Aquarium
Coming off a low-dose GLP-1 medication and noticing pain, inflammation, patience and impulse control decline within a few weeks
The return of tailbone pain, neck pain and headaches, and physio visits
What actually happened on a smart scale while microdosing: stable muscle mass and bone density, only inflammation-related weight shifting
Appetite and eating changes on a low-dose GLP-1, including craving more protein and less "girl dinner" skipping
A rough reaction to the originally prescribed full dose (severe night sweats, near-fainting) and staying on a half dose instead
Using GLP-1 microdosing for pain and inflammation conditions like fibromyalgia and lipedema, rather than for weight loss
Third-term exhaustion, being your child's "safe space," and how that wears on a parent
Reflecting on how an ADHD/AuDHD diagnosis changed their parenting instincts, and what it might have looked like without that awareness
Letting a daughter be excited and "squirrelly" in public instead of squashing her joy to manage what strangers might think
A very ADHD "what's in my pocket" cleaning haul: random found objects and a hair tie that keeps reappearing around the house
Perfectionism, control, and letting go of the fantasy of a permanently tidy kids' room
Key Takeaways
GLP-1 medications are being used off-label at low doses by some people for pain and inflammation management (including fibromyalgia and lipedema), not just weight loss — and the effects on things like patience, impulse control and executive function can be noticeable enough that coming off it highlights just how much it was helping.
A "high" prescribed dose isn't automatically the right one — a lower, self-titrated dose worked better and was better tolerated in this case, and tracking markers like muscle mass and bone density (not just weight) gives a fuller picture of what a medication is actually doing.
Understanding your own neurodivergent brain changes how you parent — recognising excited, "squirrelly," or big-feeling behaviour as normal rather than something to suppress in public can be one of the biggest shifts between how these hosts were raised and how they're raising their own kids.
An ADHD hyperfocus business idea (like buying stock for hampers) can stall out at the "buy the products" stage with zero follow-through on the actual marketing — recognising that pattern, rather than judging it, is the first step to either finishing it or letting it go.
"A win is a win" — a decluttering project that isn't 100% perfect or fully finished is still worth counting as progress, rather than waiting for the fully "ruthless" version that never happens.
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone curious about how GLP-1 medications are being used for chronic pain and inflammation conditions outside of weight loss. Anyone who's ever bought all the supplies for a business idea and never actually launched it. Parents trying to let their kids be loud and excited in public without the instinct to shush them. And anyone who's ever found a random object in their pocket mid-cleaning and had no memory of picking it up.
A Message From This Episode
You don't have to have it all figured out to notice what's working and say so out loud — whether that's a medication that's quietly been helping more than you realised, or a parenting instinct that goes against how you were raised. Paying attention to what your body and your kid actually need, instead of what you were taught to expect, is its own kind of progress.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
30 min
September 16Episode 23: Spring Has Sprung, I Hope You've Got Your Fucking Index Cards Ready
Alisha and Rhiannon check in on their September reset a few weeks late, swap DIY disaster stories, and get honest about sleep, self-care and why "new season, new us" rarely goes to plan.

It's officially the first day of spring, and the hosts are marking it with the September reset they promised a couple of episodes ago — with the honest caveat that by the time you're hearing this, it's actually a few weeks later. Rhiannon kicks things off admitting she's behind on the index card system, then immediately proves she's been busy anyway: recaulking a bathtub at midnight, popping a power board with two hairdryers, and getting genuinely stuck under her daughter's bed with a dog licking her and a mystery cat mess to contend with. Alisha, meanwhile, is a few steps ahead with a Cricut-labelled gold box and rose-gold dividers, and has already ticked off washing machine, dryer and dishwasher maintenance before September even started.
Between the chaos, there's some genuinely useful systems talk: how to break big recurring chores into small, movable index cards so nothing feels overwhelming, why monthly and quarterly tasks work better as "whenever you get to it" cards than fixed deadlines, and how something as small as boiling the kettle can become a built-in cue to knock off a two-minute task.
The episode also covers a fair bit of real life: Rhiannon's medication dosage increase and the caregiving load of taking her dad to a growing list of specialists, a very relatable bedding-and-pillow shopping spiral from Alisha, travel admin for two upcoming trips (a Hong Kong Disney trip with friends and this year's Bali flights, booked earlier than usual), and a genuine, reflective shoutout to Alisha's other podcast, No Need for Prince Charming, and how dramatically her life has changed in the four and a half years since her first episode there. It closes on sleep — specifically, why "just get eight hours" doesn't work the same for every ADHD brain, and the hosts' very different optimal numbers.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Kicking off the September reset and the index card system a few weeks behind schedule (and being okay with that)
Rhiannon's bathtub recaulking, a mattress-cleaning mishap, and popping a power board with two hairdryers at once
Getting properly stuck under the bed while reorganising — claustrophobia, an overly affectionate dog, and unidentified cat mess
Giving yourself permission to sit down and start a system instead of only being productive while physically moving
Why it's hard to plan or "maintain" a room when you can't even get into it yet
Building an index card system with labels, laminating, and a dedicated Notes app dump for things to convert to cards later
Breaking big or vague tasks ("clean the bathroom") down into their actual small steps for a better dopamine hit
Why monthly and quarterly chores work better as index cards you can shuffle around than fixed calendar deadlines
Adding a wish list card (Lego, in Rhiannon's case) to curb impulse buying by capturing the urge instead of acting on it
Booking flights and accommodation for a group Hong Kong Disney trip with friends, and this year's Bali flights earlier than usual
What's actually behind Rhiannon's recent medication dosage increase, and the caregiving load of taking her dad to a growing list of specialist appointments
Finding a sense of control through caregiving and admin, even while feeling overwhelmed by everything else going on
A Fresh Sheet Friday, a mystery stain, and washing the same load of bedding twice in one weekend
An extremely relatable bedding and pillow shopping spiral neither of them can really afford right now
A genuine shoutout to Alisha's other podcast, No Need for Prince Charming, and reflecting on how much has changed personally in the four and a half years since her first episode
Looking back on early guests, a memorable birthday in Fiji, and how the hosts' friendship began
New season intentions: blocking out one work-free house day a month, and trying to stop cleaning only on weekends
The only period either host has ever had a genuinely organised home (hint: it involved medication)
Using natural daily pauses — like the kettle boiling — as a built-in cue to knock off a small task
"Bookmarking" an unfinished task on a spare card instead of staying up until 3am to finish it
Finding your actual optimal sleep number, and why eight hours isn't the magic fix for every ADHD brain
Key Takeaways
A system doesn't have to be finished or perfect to start working — starting with an imperfect, partial index card setup and letting it evolve beats waiting for the "complete" version that never arrives.
Breaking a vague, overwhelming task ("clean the bathroom") into its real component steps gives you more individual wins to tick off, which matters for ADHD brains that run on dopamine from visible progress.
A recurring task doesn't need a fixed deadline to be useful — letting a monthly or quarterly chore move from week to week until it actually gets done removes the guilt of "missing" it on a specific day.
You can't maintain a space you can't physically get into. Decluttering has to happen before any organisational system can actually work.
There's no universal "right" amount of sleep — some ADHD brains genuinely function better on five to six hours than on a forced eight, and finding your own number matters more than hitting a general recommendation.
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone attempting a "new season, new me" reset and already a few weeks behind on it. Anyone who has ever gotten physically stuck mid-declutter with a pet involved. Parents juggling their own health and organisation goals alongside caring for an ageing parent. And anyone who's ever spiralled into a bedding-and-pillow shopping trip they definitely didn't have the budget for.
A Message From This Episode
You're allowed to start a system imperfect, start it late, and let it change as you go — the goal was never to do it perfectly from September first, it was just to start. Progress that looks messy from the outside — a half-finished index card box, a mattress you're still spot-cleaning, a dad's appointment schedule you're managing on top of everything else — still counts.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered

Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
43 min
September 09Episode 22 - A win is a win, ok?
This week is a proper life-update episode, and there's a lot to get through. Rhiannon opens with a 20-minute saga about a UK-exclusive Stickman Book Week costume that went missing for days, involved a full panic spiral, an actual Etsy tarot reading, and a search through every storage tub in the house — before turning up in a laundry bag the whole time. Alisha, meanwhile, had her own Book Week near-miss involving a garage door, a trapped car, and a very fast walk to school dressed as Pig the Pug.
From there the conversation gets into something genuinely useful: what an ADHD medication review actually involves once you're diagnosed, why it happens every two years, and why the cost of that appointment quietly prices some people out of staying on their medication. Rhiannon shares her own experience moving up a dosage and the very real anxiety of knowing there's a ceiling she'll eventually hit.
The back half of the episode is a decluttering and systems deep-dive — Rhiannon has officially finished her Wall of Doom boxes (five bags and two tubs of rubbish gone), and she and Alisha compare notes on the "everything that doesn't belong here goes in a tub" method versus a Marie Kondo-style category sort, plus a genuinely impressive rundown of the custom iPhone automations Rhiannon built to get her calendar, reminders and daily to-dos working together without another app.
It closes on something heavier and lighter at once: Alisha's unexpected tears over Dolly Parton's death, and a wider conversation about why grieving a celebrity who's simply always been there — a Dolly, a Queen, a Robin Williams — is a completely normal, very human response, especially for brains wired for strong attachment.
What We Talk About in This Episode
A listener message about relating to Rhiannon's AUDHD content more than pure ADHD content, and the value of hosting two different neurotypes on one show
The Stickman Book Week costume saga: a UK-exclusive item, a full panic spiral, an Etsy tarot reading, and finding it in the last place anyone would look
Alisha's own Book Week near-miss: a blocked garage, a trapped car, and getting dressed as Pig the Pug in five minutes flat
What an ADHD psych medication review actually involves, why it's required every two years, and why the cost can be prohibitive for people who need it most
Revisiting the ongoing question of whether to pursue diagnosis or medication for their daughters, and a GP's advice to reassess around puberty
Rhiannon's medication dosage increase (50mg to 60mg), building tolerance over time, and the anxiety of knowing there's a maximum dose
The Wall of Doom boxes: officially, completely gone — five bags and two tubs of rubbish cleared out
The "everything that doesn't belong on this surface goes in a tub" decluttering method, and why it beats trying to sort everything perfectly the first time
Comparing that method to a Marie Kondo-style category sort (Alisha's approach with her wardrobe), and why neither method works for every kind of clutter
"Pockets of organisation": aesthetically pleasing drawers next to doom boxes that still haven't been dealt with
Why digital planners don't stick for ADHD brains, and the ongoing index card system progress (and self-judgment about handwriting)
Rhiannon's custom iPhone Shortcuts automations: a 3am daily pull of all calendars into a reminders list, a "Deal With This Later" photo shortcut, a "Things For Later" bookmarking shortcut, and a voice-to-text "Brain Dump"/"Word Vomit" shortcut
Comparing ChatGPT and Claude for building step-by-step tech projects when you need everything explained in detail
Using Alexa as a shared household to-do list, and wishing all the different systems talked to each other
Kindergarten news-and-show-and-tell chaos, and losing track of items mid-declutter
The "speed bump" brain: why a changed plan or a person arriving early can completely derail your ability to function that morning
Crying over Dolly Parton's death, the Imagination Library book programme, and explaining grief to a six-year-old
Parasocial relationships and "generational cornerstones" — why grieving someone you've never met but who's always been part of your life is a real and valid response
Two pieces of good news to end on: strong feedback from Alisha's membership beta group, and Rhiannon's daughter's first solo in a musical theatre performance
Key Takeaways
ADHD medication reviews (often required every two years once diagnosed) exist to check how the medication is actually affecting you, not to "catch" anyone — but the cost of the appointment itself can make ongoing access to medication prohibitively expensive for some people.
A decluttering method doesn't have to be perfect to work: putting everything that doesn't belong in a space into one tub, then sorting it later, gets a room visibly tidy fast — even if the sorting still has to happen eventually.
Different clutter needs different systems. A category-based sort (like Marie Kondo's method) can work brilliantly for one type of clutter (clothes) and completely fall apart for a house full of mixed, scattered belongings.
A sudden change of plan — someone arriving early, an unexpected interruption — can create a genuine "speed bump" in an ADHD or autistic brain's ability to function, not just mild annoyance. It's not about being difficult; it's a real access issue.
Grieving a public figure you've never met is a normal, valid response, especially when that person has been a genuine "cornerstone" of your life for decades. Parasocial attachment is a real phenomenon, not something to be embarrassed about.
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone who's ever spiralled over a lost costume the week it was actually needed. Anyone wondering what an ADHD medication review costs and why it exists. Parents trying to find a decluttering system that survives real life with kids. And anyone who felt a genuine pang of grief over a celebrity death this week and wondered if that was a normal thing to feel (it is).
A Message From This Episode
Progress doesn't have to be dramatic to count — a finished Wall of Doom, a tub of sorted clutter, a system that's still a work in progress, they're all wins. And it's okay to feel real grief over people who've simply always been part of your life, even if you never met them. Your feelings are valid, whether they're about a lost costume, a hard appointment, or a loss the rest of the world might not expect you to feel so deeply.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
56 min
September 02Episode 21 - New Season, New Us
This week's episode starts, as most weeks do, with a confession: Alisha has spent all day on "productive procrastination" instead of launching her new membership beta, and Rhiannon decided the most urgent task in her life was mounting a wood pelmet above her window without drilling into concrete.
From there, the hosts get into the real theme of the episode: as spring rolls around, can they finally become the kind of people who finish projects instead of just starting them? Enter the index card planning system — a low-tech, endlessly forgiving ADHD organisation method they've both been eyeing on TikTok, complete with daily cards, dividers for "someday," "waiting on" and quarterly tasks, and zero pressure to get it perfect (it's a note card, not a $40 notebook you've ruined on page one).
They also run through the seasonal cleaning jobs nobody tells you about — air-con filters, dryer vents, vacuum filters, mattress deep-cleans — while being brutally honest about the stuff that's been sitting untouched for months: the seven doom boxes, the empty photo frames, the baby book that's still only half-filled in. It's a funny, chaotic, very relatable episode about trying to build systems that actually work for brains that don't do "set and forget."
What We Talk About in This Episode
Alisha's "productive procrastination" while avoiding launching her new membership beta offer
The wall of doom: Rhiannonn's DIY pelmet project, a staple gun mishap, and a hole in the wall she still hasn't fixed
Alisha's $1,000+ Ikea bookcase build-out gone sideways, and missing her dad's DIY skills
New season, new us? Deciding to commit to finishing projects rather than trying to become different people
Pitching public accountability and a decluttering community for spring
Alisha's seven doom boxes, working late into the night for work calls, and wanting a real sleep routine
Building an actual wind-down routine instead of just intending to have one
Why a flexible routine works better than a rigid schedule for ADHD brains
Introducing the index card ("Sparkle Box") planning system: daily cards, dividers, colour-coding, and why simple beats perfect
How the cards physically move through the week — pull them out, do the task, move it to next week if you don't
Seasonal cleaning tasks neither of them knew they had to do: air-con filters, dishwasher and washing machine maintenance, dryer vent cleaning, vacuum filter washing
Carpet vs floorboards when you live with anxious pets (and a French bulldog leaving slobber marks on the walls)
Quick wins for spring: the five-minute bathroom declutter, cleaning mirrors, wiping down skirting boards
Mattress deep-cleans, flipping mattresses, and knowing when to just buy a new one
The dreaded photo-sorting task, empty photo frames, and a still-unfinished baby book
Monthly wardrobe resets and prepping outfits for the week ahead
"Autistic brains love routine, ADHD brains hate it" — and why the system needs to survive being ignored for a week
Digital filing chaos, letting go of old files, and new-phone anxiety
Naming the system "The Sparkle Box" and inviting listeners to join in for spring
Key Takeaways
A system only works for ADHD brains if falling off it for a week doesn't ruin it — index cards can be picked back up anytime, unlike a notebook where one skipped page feels like the whole thing is "ruined."
"Out of sight, out of mind" is a real barrier, not a character flaw — having a tangible, visible reminder (a card, not just a digital list) can be the difference between remembering a task and forgetting it existed.
Committing to finish what you start is a more realistic goal than trying to stop starting new projects altogether — the impulse to dive in isn't the problem, the follow-through is.
Seasonal maintenance tasks (air-con filters, dryer vents, vacuum filters) are rarely taught to anyone — not doing them isn't a personal failing, it's a knowledge gap.
Public or shared accountability — a friend, a community, even an Instagram audience — can be the missing piece that turns "I should really do that" into "I actually did that."
A Quick Explainer: What Is the Index Card ("Sparkle Box") Planning System?
It's a low-tech ADHD planning method built around a simple box of index cards instead of a notebook or app. Each card holds one task or routine — a day of the week, a recurring chore, a "someday" idea — sorted behind dividers (daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, waiting-on, someday). As you complete a task, you move its card to the back or file it under the next relevant day; if you don't get to it, it just waits until you're ready. Because nothing is permanent or handwritten into a bound page, there's no "ruined" system to abandon — you can drop it for a week and pick it back up without starting over, which is what makes it worth trying for brains that struggle with rigid digital planners and all-or-nothing habit trackers.
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone with a pile of half-finished home projects, a "doom box" they've been avoiding since last winter, or a graveyard of failed productivity apps on their phone. Also for anyone who has ever paid someone else to do a job, watched them do it wrong, and thought "I could have done that myself" — and anyone about to attempt spring cleaning with an ADHD brain that needs the system to be genuinely, forgivingly simple.
A Message From This Episode
You don't need the perfect system — you need one that survives you ignoring it for a week. Progress doesn't have to look like a finished, streamlined house; it can just look like a pile of index cards, a doom box you've finally consolidated into one place, and permission to pick it back up whenever you're ready.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
47 min
August 26Ep20: I'm trying to minimise my shit
Some weeks are just a lot. This episode starts with two very different-looking problems — one daughter who's suddenly refusing school, one daughter who's suddenly refusing food — and ends up in the same place both of them usually end up: is this a phase, is this the environment, or is this actually her brain?
Alisha unpacks her daughter's abrupt swing from loving school to dreading it, working through whether it's a friendship issue, a masking-fatigue issue, or something closer to PDA, and the very relatable spiral of trying to have a calm "how was your day" conversation with a six-year-old who has nothing left in the tank to give. Rhiannon shares the equally unsettling shift in her daughter Bunny — sudden pickiness, attitude, and an OT-recommended blood test to rule out a nutrient deficiency before anyone reaches for the word "PDA."
From there the conversation goes somewhere the hosts admit they've avoided for a while: should they actually get their daughters formally assessed and, if needed, medicated for ADHD? They talk through the double standard that lets "naughty little boys" get diagnosed and medicated early while girls get overlooked or told they're "just sensitive," the school-accommodation paperwork that requires a formal diagnosis to unlock, and a doctor's blunt warning about hormones, puberty and RSD that's stuck with them both.
It's not all heavy — the episode also swings into the hosts' own adult executive dysfunction (Rhiannon's years-stalled recertification exam, leaning on ChatGPT for step-by-step instructions like a human doesn't already know how to make a to-do list), a very candid update on Rhiannon's doom-box wardrobe project, and a warm reminder that finding your people — your fellow "neuro sparkly weirdos" — makes the whole thing easier to carry.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Alisha's daughter's sudden shift from loving school to dreading it, and untangling whether it's friendship dynamics, masking exhaustion, or something more like PDA
A basketball-to-the-head incident and the challenge of working out what's actually upsetting a six-year-old versus what's just the most recent thing
Why "how was your day" often gets nothing back, and using write-it-down/indirect strategies to get a real answer later
Bunny's sudden picky eating and attitude change, and the OT's recommendation to rule out a nutrient deficiency with a blood test before considering PDA
Offering choices instead of demands, and recognising a PDA-flavoured "no thank you" for what it is
The big conversation: should we get our daughters formally assessed, and would we medicate them?
The double standard around ADHD medication — why "disruptive" boys get diagnosed and medicated early while girls fly under the radar
Why school accommodations often require a formal diagnosis on paper, not just a parent's observation
A doctor's warning about puberty, hormones and RSD, and why that's shifted the hosts' thinking on timing
Perfectionism, generational guilt, and parenting differently to how they were raised
A school system built for the "average" kid, and what that means for kids who are struggling or excelling
Executive dysfunction in adulthood: "I know the answer, I just can't start," and leaning on ChatGPT for step-by-step task breakdowns
Why systems and scaffolding don't always stick, and choosing self-compassion over self-blame when they fall off
Medication as something that doesn't change who you are — it just makes the doing part possible
The doom-box wardrobe project: sorting, under-bed chaos, and the idea of public accountability via Instagram
Body doubling, Alexa AM/PM checklists, and other accountability tools that actually work
Finding your people — hyperfocusing on Lego with a fellow "neuro sparkly weirdo" — and why community matters
Key Takeaways
A sudden, sharp behaviour change in a child — whether it's school avoidance or food refusal — is worth investigating from multiple angles at once: physical (nutrient deficiencies, blood tests), social (friendship dynamics), and neurological (PDA, anxiety, masking fatigue), rather than assuming it's "just a phase."
ADHD in girls is still routinely overlooked because the diagnostic picture was built around "disruptive" boys — quieter struggles like people-pleasing, sudden meltdowns after school, or picky eating don't fit the stereotype, so they get missed or dismissed.
Formal diagnosis isn't just a label — for many families it's the only way to unlock real school accommodations, which is worth knowing before deciding to "wait and see."
Executive dysfunction doesn't disappear when you become an adult — "I know what to do, I just can't start it" is a genuine, common experience, and outsourcing the step-by-step (to a person, an app, or even ChatGPT) is a legitimate strategy, not a personal failing.
Medication doesn't change who your child is — it can simply make it possible for them to do the things they already want to do.
Who This Episode Is For
Parents wrestling with whether to pursue a formal ADHD assessment or medication for their child, especially a daughter whose struggles don't look like the "naughty boy" stereotype. Anyone who has ever known exactly what they need to do and still couldn't make themselves start. And anyone currently living next to their own doom box, wondering if today's the day it finally gets sorted.
A Message From This Episode
You don't need to have it all figured out — not for your kid's brain, not for your own. Whether it's a diagnosis, a blood test, a body double, or just admitting the wardrobe box has been there for six months, asking for the support you actually need isn't failure. It's how you get to the doing part.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered [Add host personal handles / links once confirmed]
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
56 min
August 20Ep 19: The things Katherine Richardson could tell you
This week's guest gets it from every angle: Katherine "Kat" Richardson is a late-diagnosed ADHDer, a mum navigating her own son's likely neurodivergence, and the author-illustrator behind The Things Enid Can Tell You — a children's book about a sparkly-brained girl that never once uses the word "ADHD."
Kat and the hosts trade late-diagnosis stories that will sound painfully familiar: the report cards that said "talks too much" and "needs to apply herself," the university degrees started and abandoned on a whim, the diagnosis that arrived not as grief but as relief mixed with a strange kind of double-edged clarity — finally knowing why, and also knowing this is permanently who you are.
Kat talks candidly about writing her book before she'd even fully unpacked her own masking, about the ADHD-house reality of forgotten showers and rotten apples left in odd corners, and about her very deliberate choice not to label Enid's brain at all — because a children's book that announces "this character has ADHD" lands differently to a kid than one that just lets a sparkly character be herself.
It's a warm, funny, occasionally chaotic conversation about writing honestly, parenting differently to how you were parented, and giving kids language for their brains that we never had for our own.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Kat's late ADHD diagnosis story: report card comments, undiagnosed years, and finally asking the question out loud in her late 20s
The "double-edged sword" of diagnosis: relief at finally having an answer, alongside the realisation that no amount of trying will make you different
University chaos: switching degrees between Antarctic science, guide dog training and a communications degree finished via distance education at double speed
Why "always early" can be the same anxiety as being late
Parenting a sensory-driven, possibly-neurodivergent toddler son, and catching herself repeating the same "can you just sit still" messaging she's trying to break
Reparenting: working out what actually damaged you growing up versus what was just imperfect but harmless
Writing her first book, Diary of a Red Handfish, about a real endangered Tasmanian species and a real conservation project
Publishing under two names — Kat for her business, Katherine Richardson for her books — and why that split exists
The deliberate choice not to name ADHD or autism anywhere in The Things Enid Can Tell You, so kids can recognise themselves without a clinical label attached
Avoiding stereotypes: writing a messy, imperfect, lovable character without reducing her to "the ADHD kid who's always late and disorganised"
The exhausting mental load of basic self-care tasks (showers, teeth-brushing) and the tricks she uses to get herself to do them anyway
Where to find Kat's books and her illustration/editing studio
Key Takeaways
Late diagnosis often isn't followed by grief so much as a strange, double-edged relief: "this explains everything" and "this is permanently who I am" arriving at the same time.
Being chronically early can be driven by the same anxiety as being chronically late — it's still time-related distress, just pointed the other direction.
The most authentic representation in children's books often comes from writing your own story first, rather than deliberately setting out to "write a diverse character."
Reparenting isn't about getting everything right — it's about identifying what actually caused harm growing up and interrupting that specific pattern, not chasing an impossible standard of perfect parenting.
Basic daily tasks (showering, brushing teeth) can carry a genuinely higher mental load for ADHD/autistic brains, and finding a "trick" that works is a legitimate strategy, not a failure to just "do the normal thing."
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone who got diagnosed later in life and is still working out what to do with that knowledge. Parents looking for children's books that let a neurodivergent-coded character just be a full, funny, flawed person rather than a walking symptom list. And anyone who has ever quietly wondered whether they should have finished that degree they abandoned in week three.
A Message From This Episode
You don't need permission to tell your own story, and you don't need a diagnosis to hand to prove it's real. The most authentic writing — and the most authentic parenting — usually comes from working out what actually hurt you, not from getting everything technically right.
About This Episode's Guest
Katherine "Kat" Richardson is an author, illustrator and late-diagnosed ADHDer. She is the author-illustrator of The Things Enid Can Tell You, a children's picture book about a sparkly-brained girl, and Diary of a Red Handfish, a self-published children's book about one of Tasmania's most endangered fish species. She also runs an illustration, editing and book design studio supporting other authors, with a particular focus on making the process accessible for neurodivergent clients.
Both books are available through Kat's website and Amazon.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Guest: Katherine "Kat" Richardson instagram: @peskyploverstudio
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
1 hr 1 min
August 14Ep18: Don't look at my rainbow bookcase
Ever bounced your leg under a desk, reread the same book for the fourth time, or needed total silence to concentrate but constant background noise to relax? This week Alisha and Rhiannon tackle stimming — one of the most misunderstood words in the neurodivergent world.
Both hosts admit they spent years assuming stimming meant "sitting in the corner rocking back and forth," only to realise, once they understood their own neurodivergence, that they'd been doing it their whole lives in dozens of different ways. This episode is the moment of recognition they wish someone had handed them years ago.
They walk through what's actually happening in your nervous system when you stim, why ADHD stims and autistic stims tend to look different, and run through category after category of real examples — movement, touch, sound, visual, oral, comfort and cognitive stims — including plenty that don't look anything like the stereotype.
They also get honest about the harder side: the stims that cross into harmful territory, why shame makes them worse rather than better, and how to start redirecting a harmful stim toward something that meets the same need without the damage.
What We Talk About in This Episode
What stimming actually is: self-stimulatory behaviour your nervous system uses to regulate itself
The "volume knob" analogy — why you stim more in some situations and not others
The differences between typically ADHD stims (movement- and dopamine-seeking) and typically autistic stims (sensory regulation and grounding), and why AuDHD brains often do both
A full run-through of stim categories: movement, touch/tactile, sound/vocal, visual, oral/taste, pressure/comfort, and focus/cognitive stims
Dozens of real, specific examples listeners are likely to recognise in themselves — many that don't look anything like the "rocking in a corner" stereotype
The difference between helpful stims and harmful stims (skin picking, hair pulling, nail biting, compulsive scrolling or spending), and why the goal is redirection, not suppression
How to figure out what a stim is actually giving you — stimulation, pressure, comfort, predictability — so you can find a less harmful way to get it
When it's worth speaking to a GP, psychologist, OT or ADHD clinician about a stim that's causing injury or distress
Masking and "socially acceptable" stims — how women in particular swap obvious stims for ones that fly under the radar, including phone scrolling, hair twirling and constant productivity
Screen time as a stim for kids, and how the hosts think about it without falling into all-or-nothing parenting guilt
Both hosts' own newly-recognised stims, compiled live on the episode
Key Takeaways
Stimming isn't a sign that something is wrong — it's your nervous system trying to regulate itself, and everyone does some version of it.
ADHD stims tend to be movement-based and dopamine-seeking; autistic stims tend to be more about sensory regulation and grounding; AuDHD brains often do both.
Most people are already stimming constantly without recognising it as stimming, because it doesn't match the "rocking in the corner" stereotype.
Helpful stims and harmful stims aren't morally different — they're both your body asking for something. The goal with a harmful stim is to find what need it's meeting and redirect that need somewhere less damaging, not to just try to stop.
Shame is the biggest barrier to managing a harmful stim. Naming what's actually happening ("my brain needs X, not that I'm broken") tends to be the first real step.
A Quick Explainer: What Is Stimming?
Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behaviour) is any repetitive movement, sound, or sensory action your nervous system uses to regulate itself — to calm down, focus, process excitement, or block overwhelming input. It's not exclusive to autism or ADHD (most people stim to some degree), but it tends to show up more often, more visibly, or in a wider range of ways in neurodivergent brains. Stimming becomes worth addressing when it causes physical injury, distress or starts interfering with daily life — not simply because it looks unusual to other people.
Who This Episode Is For
Anyone who has ever wondered why they can't sit still, can't relax without background noise, or has a slightly-too-intense relationship with fidget toys, weighted blankets or rereading the same book. Also for parents trying to understand a child's repetitive behaviours without immediately assuming something needs to be "fixed."
A Message From This Episode
Stimming isn't something to be embarrassed about — it's something to understand. Once you know what your nervous system is asking for, you can give it what it needs without the shame. The better question was never "how do I stop," it's "what is my brain trying to tell me?"
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
46 min
August 06Ep17: We're Back, Sparkly Brains: ADHD Time Blindness & Our Accidental Hiatus
Alisha and Rhiannon return after an unplanned break to get honest about ADHD time blindness, the ADHD tax, decluttering doom piles, and parenting two very different sparkly kids.

Sixteen episodes in a row, then... silence. Alisha and Rhiannon are back after an unplanned hiatus, and instead of pretending it didn't happen, they're unpacking exactly why it did: time blindness, no accountability pressure between them, and two very full plates (a two-week US trip to see donor sibling families, a building project, and the general chaos of being a sparkly-brained parent).
This is the messiest, most relatable kind of episode — the one where nothing is scripted and everything is real. They talk about the overwhelm spiral that hits when the to-do list outpaces the brain's ability to prioritise, why a Claude brain-dump session became an unlikely life hack, and the very on-brand purchase of a plastic recipe box organisation system that will probably never get built.
From there it's doom piles, decluttering guilt, a 90s trivia night costume crisis, and two very different parenting flashpoints: one daughter who is "toxically positive" about coming last in a race, and one daughter whose strong sense of justice is colliding head-on with grade one mean-girl politics.
It's funny, it's unfiltered, and it's a reminder that consistency doesn't mean perfection — sometimes it just means showing back up.
What We Talk About in This Episode
Why the podcast went quiet for a few weeks, and the ADHD time blindness behind it
Rhiannon's two weeks in the US reconnecting with her daughter's donor sibling group
Using AI (Claude) to triage an overwhelming brain dump into "things that make money" vs "things that can wait"
The ADHD tax in real time: unused notebooks, an unbuilt recipe card organiser, and a walking pad
Decluttering wins, decluttering guilt, and why "half-used" products are the hardest things to let go of
A 90s trivia night costume saga (Baywatch, wrong-size swimwear, and doing it sober)
Bunny's athletics carnival and the art of "toxic positivity" after coming last
Lexi's perfectionism and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) showing up in maths homework
Grade one mean-girl behaviour, teaching kids to stand up for themselves, and what the school can (and can't) do about it
Parenting with a diagnosis: how understanding their own neurodivergence changes how they respond to their kids, and the generational patterns they're actively trying not to repeat
A genuinely useful life hack: turning getting-dressed battles into a timed, rewarded game
What's coming up on the podcast, including an episode on PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and upcoming guest episodes
Key Takeaways
Time blindness and low mutual accountability can snowball into a full production gap — and that's a symptom, not a character flaw.
Overwhelm often isn't a "do more" problem, it's a prioritisation problem. Separating "what makes money/matters" from "what can wait" is a genuinely useful (if imperfect) declutter-your-brain tool.
The ADHD tax shows up in small, sneaky ways: duplicate purchases, systems bought but never built, and impulse buys triggered by algorithm targeting.
Kids can be defined by very different traits within the same family dynamic — one child's toxic positivity and another's perfectionism/RSD are both valid, both manageable, and neither is "wrong."
Parenting with self-awareness of your own neurodivergence doesn't eliminate old patterns, but it does make it possible to catch them and choose differently.
A Quick Explainer: What Is Time Blindness?
Time blindness is a common ADHD trait where the brain struggles to accurately sense how much time has passed, how long a task will take, or how close a deadline actually is. It's not about not caring or not trying — it's a difference in how the ADHD brain processes and tracks time. For some people it looks like chronic lateness; for others (like this episode) it looks like genuinely losing track of how many weeks have gone by. Understanding it as a brain-based difference — rather than a discipline problem — is usually the first step to building supports that actually work.
Who This Episode Is For
Any mum who has missed a deadline, gone quiet on something she cares about, or felt the shame spiral of "I had good intentions and still didn't follow through." Also for anyone managing very different personalities in their own household, or trying to parent differently to how they were parented.
A Message From This Episode
You don't have to be consistent to be trustworthy. Taking the pressure off doesn't mean you don't care — sometimes it's the only way to come back at all.
Follow & Connect
Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered
Subscribe & Follow
New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.
45 min

About Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered

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Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered is the podcast for neurodivergent Australian mums who are tired of pretending they've got it all figured out.

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Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered

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About Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered