Ever bounced your leg under a desk, reread the same book for the fourth time, or needed total silence to concentrate but constant background noise to relax? This week Alisha and Rhiannon tackle stimming — one of the most misunderstood words in the neurodivergent world.

Both hosts admit they spent years assuming stimming meant "sitting in the corner rocking back and forth," only to realise, once they understood their own neurodivergence, that they'd been doing it their whole lives in dozens of different ways. This episode is the moment of recognition they wish someone had handed them years ago.

They walk through what's actually happening in your nervous system when you stim, why ADHD stims and autistic stims tend to look different, and run through category after category of real examples — movement, touch, sound, visual, oral, comfort and cognitive stims — including plenty that don't look anything like the stereotype.

They also get honest about the harder side: the stims that cross into harmful territory, why shame makes them worse rather than better, and how to start redirecting a harmful stim toward something that meets the same need without the damage.

What We Talk About in This Episode

Key Takeaways

A Quick Explainer: What Is Stimming?

Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behaviour) is any repetitive movement, sound, or sensory action your nervous system uses to regulate itself — to calm down, focus, process excitement, or block overwhelming input. It's not exclusive to autism or ADHD (most people stim to some degree), but it tends to show up more often, more visibly, or in a wider range of ways in neurodivergent brains. Stimming becomes worth addressing when it causes physical injury, distress or starts interfering with daily life — not simply because it looks unusual to other people.

Who This Episode Is For

Anyone who has ever wondered why they can't sit still, can't relax without background noise, or has a slightly-too-intense relationship with fidget toys, weighted blankets or rereading the same book. Also for parents trying to understand a child's repetitive behaviours without immediately assuming something needs to be "fixed."

A Message From This Episode

Stimming isn't something to be embarrassed about — it's something to understand. Once you know what your nervous system is asking for, you can give it what it needs without the shame. The better question was never "how do I stop," it's "what is my brain trying to tell me?"

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Alisha and Rhiannon return after an unplanned break to get honest about ADHD time blindness, the ADHD tax, decluttering doom piles, and parenting two very different sparkly kids.

Sixteen episodes in a row, then... silence. Alisha and Rhiannon are back after an unplanned hiatus, and instead of pretending it didn't happen, they're unpacking exactly why it did: time blindness, no accountability pressure between them, and two very full plates (a two-week US trip to see donor sibling families, a building project, and the general chaos of being a sparkly-brained parent).

This is the messiest, most relatable kind of episode — the one where nothing is scripted and everything is real. They talk about the overwhelm spiral that hits when the to-do list outpaces the brain's ability to prioritise, why a Claude brain-dump session became an unlikely life hack, and the very on-brand purchase of a plastic recipe box organisation system that will probably never get built.

From there it's doom piles, decluttering guilt, a 90s trivia night costume crisis, and two very different parenting flashpoints: one daughter who is "toxically positive" about coming last in a race, and one daughter whose strong sense of justice is colliding head-on with grade one mean-girl politics.

It's funny, it's unfiltered, and it's a reminder that consistency doesn't mean perfection — sometimes it just means showing back up.

What We Talk About in This Episode

Key Takeaways

A Quick Explainer: What Is Time Blindness?

Time blindness is a common ADHD trait where the brain struggles to accurately sense how much time has passed, how long a task will take, or how close a deadline actually is. It's not about not caring or not trying — it's a difference in how the ADHD brain processes and tracks time. For some people it looks like chronic lateness; for others (like this episode) it looks like genuinely losing track of how many weeks have gone by. Understanding it as a brain-based difference — rather than a discipline problem — is usually the first step to building supports that actually work.

Who This Episode Is For

Any mum who has missed a deadline, gone quiet on something she cares about, or felt the shame spiral of "I had good intentions and still didn't follow through." Also for anyone managing very different personalities in their own household, or trying to parent differently to how they were parented.

A Message From This Episode

You don't have to be consistent to be trustworthy. Taking the pressure off doesn't mean you don't care — sometimes it's the only way to come back at all.

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Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 

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New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

You think you know us? Think again.

In this week's episode we're stepping away from the deep dives and getting a little personal. We asked AI to give us rapid-fire questions — then spectacularly failed at the rapid-fire part — and ended up somewhere far more honest and interesting.

From ADHD rage triggers to Disney dreams, impulsive purchases we absolutely justified, the tortured artists we tried to fix, and the things we actually want our daughters to remember us for. This one's lighter, warmer, and honestly? A little unhinged in the best way.

We also get into: what our ADHD brains do with "free time" (spoiler: not relax), how neurodivergent women tend to attract the wrong kind of fixer-upper, and why one of us just bought a treadmill after telling a story about buying a treadmill.

In this episode:

→ ADHD rage triggers that make zero sense (but make total sense)

Send us your questions for the next round — we want to find things we don't already know about each other.

🎧 New episodes every Thursday. Follow so you never miss one.

Have you ever felt like you become a completely different person for one or two weeks every month?

Maybe you're more emotional, more reactive, more overwhelmed, less productive, or struggling with rage, anxiety or depression that seems to disappear almost as quickly as it arrives.

In this episode, Alisha and Rhiannon dive into the growing body of research exploring the connection between ADHD, hormones, PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), perimenopause and emotional wellbeing.

The conversation begins with a raw and honest discussion about parenting through illness, overwhelm and emotional exhaustion before exploring why many neurodivergent women may be experiencing hormone-related challenges that have been dismissed, misunderstood or misdiagnosed for years.

The episode also unpacks a recent study involving more than 600 women that found significantly higher rates of menstrual irregularities, severe PMS symptoms, postpartum depression and menopausal symptoms among women with ADHD.

Most importantly, it's a conversation about understanding yourself better, advocating for your health, and recognising that suffering through hormonal symptoms isn't something you simply have to accept.

• Parenting through overwhelm, sickness and emotional exhaustion

PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is a recognised clinical diagnosis that goes far beyond typical PMS. While PMS may involve symptoms such as bloating, sore breasts and irritability, PMDD is characterised by much more severe emotional and psychological symptoms.

These can include:

A key feature is that symptoms typically occur during the luteal phase (the one to two weeks before a period) and often improve rapidly once menstruation begins.

A recent study published in Archives of Women's Mental Health examined over 600 women, including 377 women with ADHD and 225 women without ADHD. The average participant age was 39 years.

Researchers found that women with ADHD experienced:

The findings support what many neurodivergent women have reported anecdotally for years: hormones can significantly influence ADHD symptoms and overall wellbeing.

Many women notice changes in focus, motivation, emotional regulation and executive functioning throughout their cycle. These changes are not "all in your head."

You don't need to obsessively monitor every symptom, but paying attention to patterns can provide valuable insights into your moods, productivity, resilience and emotional wellbeing.

If you repeatedly notice severe mood changes, overwhelming emotions or significant fluctuations in functioning, those experiences are worth investigating.

Different women respond differently to various approaches, including medication adjustments, hormonal treatments, antidepressants, lifestyle strategies and cycle-aware planning.

Just because something is common doesn't mean it's normal or something you should simply endure.

One of the most powerful themes throughout this episode is the reminder that understanding ourselves allows us to be kinder to ourselves.

Whether it's recognising when you're overstimulated, identifying hormonal patterns, understanding your ADHD, or simply acknowledging that you're exhausted, awareness creates opportunities to make different choices.

Sometimes the goal isn't perfection.

Sometimes the goal is recognising what you need before you reach breaking point.

The episode opens with a candid discussion about parenting through a difficult weekend, highlighting something many parents experience:

Sometimes both parent and child are struggling at the same time.

Alisha shares how recognising her own needs allowed her to make a decision that supported both herself and her daughter, rather than forcing herself to push through and mask her feelings.

It's a powerful reminder that looking after yourself is not selfish—it often allows you to show up more effectively for your children.

This episode is based on personal experiences and discussion of emerging research. It is not medical advice.

If you're experiencing severe mood changes, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or symptoms that are affecting your quality of life, please seek support from a qualified healthcare professional.

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Fresh off the annual Solo Mum Society Bali trip, Alisha and Rhiannon sit down for an honest post-holiday debrief.

What started as a conversation about forgotten chargers, unnecessary scooters and overpacked suitcases quickly became a much deeper discussion about neurodivergence, parenting expectations, mum guilt and what children actually need from a family holiday.

This year’s trip looked very different from previous years. With an all-inclusive resort, kids club, nightly shows and dozens of solo mums and children spending time together, there were plenty of opportunities to learn what worked, what didn’t, and what they'll be doing differently next time.

Alisha shares her struggle with feeling guilty about using kids club while balancing work commitments, while Rhiannon offers a different perspective: what if the kids were genuinely having the time of their lives?

Together they explore:

The episode is packed with funny travel stories, practical lessons and relatable moments for any parent who has ever planned the perfect holiday only to discover their child had a completely different idea of what fun looks like.

• The Solo Mum Society Bali trip debrief

• Children often define a successful holiday very differently from adults.

• Parents frequently put pressure on themselves to create "perfect" family moments that their children may not even want.

• Kids club isn't a sign of poor parenting—it can be one of the highlights of a child's holiday experience.

• Neurodivergent adults and children can become overstimulated by exciting experiences just as much as stressful ones.

• Holidays often require letting go of expectations and responding to what's actually happening in front of you.

• Packing lists only work if you actually follow them.

• Sometimes the biggest lesson is discovering that your child was happier than you realised.

This episode highlights something many neurodivergent families experience:

Excitement can be just as overwhelming as stress.

When children are having the time of their lives, they're often processing huge amounts of stimulation, social interaction, change and emotion. The result can sometimes look like emotional outbursts, big feelings or unexpected behaviour.

The same is true for adults.

Whether it's navigating a new environment, managing expectations, handling logistics or simply being away from familiar routines, travel can bring both incredible joy and unexpected challenges.

This episode is for:

• Solo parents travelling with children

Your child doesn't need the perfect holiday.

They don't need every minute planned, endless activities or a parent trying to manufacture magical moments.

Sometimes they just need friends, freedom, a swimming pool, an ice cream and the chance to be a kid.

And sometimes the best thing a parent can do is let go of the idea of what the holiday should look like and enjoy what it actually becomes.

Follow along for future adventures, behind-the-scenes stories and weekly conversations about motherhood, neurodivergence and real life parenting:

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This week, Alisha and Rhiannon are in full pre-Bali countdown mode.

With 34 solo mums and their children joining the annual Solo Mum Society Bali trip, the conversation starts exactly where you'd expect: doom piles, overpacking, last-minute hyperfocus, welcome packs, and wondering whether a third suitcase is really necessary.

But what begins as a chat about packing quickly turns into an honest and practical conversation about traveling as neurodivergent adults and raising neurodivergent children.

From airport overwhelm and sensory challenges to carry-on essentials, screen time guilt, travel anxiety, and keeping kids entertained on long-haul flights, Alisha and Rhiannon share the real-world tips they've learned through years of traveling solo with children.

They also discuss:

Whether you're planning your first family holiday, travelling solo with kids, or simply trying to survive airport chaos without a meltdown, this episode is packed with practical advice and plenty of laughs.

• Preparing for the Solo Mum Society Bali trip

• The best packing strategy is often comfort over perfection.

• Travelling with children becomes easier when you stop trying to entertain them with 50 different activities and focus on what actually works.

• Snacks can solve more travel problems than most parenting books.

• Neurodivergent travellers often benefit from planning for sensory comfort before problems arise.

• Airport stress is often reduced when systems are simplified and hands are kept as free as possible.

• There is no prize for travelling uncomfortably. Pack the pillow, blanket, headphones or support items if they help you arrive feeling better.

• The "perfect" travel setup is the one that works for your family.

This episode is for:

• Solo parents who travel with children

You don't need to be the perfectly organised traveller.

You don't need matching luggage, colour-coded packing cubes, or a Pinterest-worthy itinerary.

You just need a system that works for you, your child, and your nervous system.

Because arriving slightly overdressed, carrying too many snacks and surviving the flight is still a win.

Follow along for behind-the-scenes Bali adventures, travel updates and future episodes:

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This week is less expert advice and more of a catch-up.

The kind of catch-up where one mum accidentally loses half a day to Pinterest strategy, another starts demolishing a bathroom at 11pm, and somehow both of them end up discussing friendship, parenting, school communities and why socialising feels so complicated as a neurodivergent adult.

In this episode of Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered, Alisha and Rhiannon reflect on the aftermath of Lexi's birthday party, the surprisingly big emotions their daughters experienced after saying goodbye to each other, and what it looks like raising children who feel everything deeply.

They also dive into:

This episode is funny, honest, completely unstructured and incredibly relatable.

Basically, exactly what happens when two neurodivergent mums sit down for a chat.

• Hyperfocusing on completely the wrong thing

• Hyperfocus isn't always productive — sometimes it's Pinterest strategies and washing Lego.

• Neurodivergent children often experience friendships and separations very intensely.

• You don't need hundreds of friends — you need the right people.

• Parenting often means pushing through your own discomfort to support your child's needs.

• Matching a child's energy can sometimes work better than trying to force them to calm down.

• Not every social event is worth your energy.

• Community matters — for both mums and kids.

This episode is for:

• Neurodivergent mums

Sometimes motherhood looks like:

Having a perfectly packed lunch.

A clean kitchen.

A child who is fed and thriving.

And absolutely none of the things you actually planned to do that day.

And that's okay.

Because progress doesn't always look the way we expected it to.

Follow along for clips, conversations and weekly chaos:

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Why are so many women only discovering they’re neurodivergent later in life?

In this episode of Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered, Alisha and Rhiannon are joined by psychiatrist Dr Clinton White to unpack what’s really happening with late ADHD and autism diagnoses in women.

From missed signs in childhood to years of being labelled with anxiety or depression, this conversation dives into how easily neurodivergence is overlooked — especially in women who have spent their lives masking, coping, and “holding it together.”

Dr White shares openly about the limitations of psychiatric training, why autism has historically been seen as a “male condition,” and how even professionals can miss it.

The conversation explores the moment everything clicks — when women receive a diagnosis and suddenly their past, behaviours, and struggles finally make sense.

“The veil of confusion about their life just lifts… and that alone changes everything.”

They also dive into common misdiagnoses, including anxiety, depression, and burnout, and explain why these are often symptoms rather than the root cause.

This episode is honest, validating, and deeply eye-opening — especially if you’ve ever felt like something didn’t quite add up.

• Why ADHD and autism are often missed in women

• Many women diagnosed with anxiety may actually have underlying ADHD or autism

This episode is for:

• Women with ADHD

You weren’t missing something.

You weren’t failing.

You were working with a brain

And once you understand it?

Everything starts to shift.

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Why does a delayed reply feel like rejection?

In this episode of Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered, Alisha and Rhiannon unpack one of the most intense and misunderstood parts of ADHD:

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).

From overthinking text messages to spiralling after perceived criticism, they break down what RSD actually is, why it happens, and how it shows up in everyday life — especially for women who were diagnosed later in life.

They explore the difference between real rejection vs perceived rejection, and why your brain can react just as strongly either way — even when logically, you know it’s “not a big deal.”

This episode also dives into:

This is one of those episodes where you’ll likely hear yourself in every example… and finally understand why.

This episode is for:

You’re not too sensitive.

But…

It also doesn’t mean it’s real.

Sometimes your brain is trying to protect you

And once you can see that?

You get to choose how much power it has.

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New episodes released every Thursday.

What if your child isn’t being “difficult”…

In this episode of Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered, Alisha and Rhiannon dive into the reality of parenting neurodivergent children — especially when their brains work in ways that don’t respond to traditional parenting approaches.

Alisha shares her experience navigating an occupational therapy (OT) assessment for her daughter, including the moment she realised there were far more signs of neurodivergence than she initially recognised.

From struggles with transitions and emotional regulation to seemingly “defiant” behaviour that isn’t actually defiance, this episode explores what it really looks like to parent a child with a different neurotype — and how confronting that can be as a parent.

They also unpack Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) — including the constant negotiation, refusal, and resistance that can show up when a child feels a loss of autonomy, even in everyday situations.

This is an honest, nuanced conversation about shifting from

This episode is for:

Your child isn’t trying to make your life harder.

They’re trying to navigate a brain

And you?

You’re learning in real time how to support them

That’s not failure.

That’s awareness. ✨

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New episodes released every Thursday.