Did you know even non-birthing partners can experience post partum depression? In today’s episode of Mothering, we talk to therapist Snehal Padhye who is doing a fellowship in perinatal mental health about the impact of the changes that happen after a new baby is born, on the entire family unit- in particular the non-birthing partners. Snehal brings her wisdom and experience and makes us reflect when does the journey of parenthood begin – when the baby is in the womb or way before that- when the baby is just an idea. A mother of a teenager herself, Snehal also shares with us how she navigates motherhood and being a therapist and how both these roles inform each other. I hope you enjoy this one.

TW: Miscarriage, graphic medical descriptions.

There is a missing chapter in the journey to motherhood – miscarriage. In today’s episode, we talk to Dhara Ghuntla – a clinical psychologist and a college friend who shares her experience with loss. 10-15 percent of pregnancies will end in miscarriage and yet very few of us hear experiences. Dhara , brings in her insight and astute self-awareness and takes us through her very personal journey and I must warn you, I had goosebumps when she spoke. We also talk about the intersection between feminism and mental health and Dhara brings up some very interesting experiences from her clinical practice and adds the vantage point of a mental health professional to a very personal and intimate account. If you have ever experienced loss, I hope you find comfort in this story.

Do you have a 4 am friend? The one who knows you best and who is there for you no matter what time it is? In today’s episode, I talk to my 4 am mom friend, Menaka Warrier. When I was in the trenches during postpartum , her wisdom and humour has saved me on many days. You’re up for such a treat just listening to Menaka and the unique way she moves through the world: thoughtfully and with care. We talk about mothering as a full-time job and the nuances of her journey to becoming the parent she is. We share one commonality – we both have husbands who are very feminist – sometimes more than we are and we talk about how that is such a unique privilege to have. This conversation for me is much more than an episode, its one link of what I hope to be a giant human chain of one mother holding the hand of the next and wading through this journey of mothering together. Here is to the one who held my hand.

There is a lot said about how good breastfeeding is for the baby, but what if I told you, breastfeeding is great not only for the baby, but for mothers too. In todays episode, From a Doctors Lens, our guest Dr. Taru Jindal, a gynaecologist takes us to three very different places. We start at the worst hospital in Bihar where its 11 am and a sweeper has just delivered a baby and is about to use a common needle and thread to sew up the mother. We then head to the delivery room in the first hour after a mother gives birth and look at breastfeeding from a completely different lens – as a preventive intervention for postpartum depression and finally Dr. Taru shares her own , very intimate account of vaginismus - an involuntary tensing of the vagina that can make sex very painful Dr. Taru brings in her unique vantage point as a trained gynecologist to all of these issues and talks honestly about the ills that plague our systems. But most of all, Dr. Taru is a beautiful storyteller and I found myself transported to all the places and scenes she described. I hope you enjoy our journey too.

TW: Violence

What if motherhood is not a blessing but a reminder of the violence that was inflicted on you?

Welcome to the third episode of the mothering podcast: Mothering and Violence.

In 2021, in the thick of the global pandemic, domestic violence complaints to the National Commission for women reached a 21 year high. In India, 19% women report experiencing domestic violence.

In todays episode we talk about this intersection of motherhood and violence and explore what that looks like. Our guest today Aarthi Chandrasekhar is a mental health practitioner who works with survivors of gender based violence and one of the most important feminist influences for me early in my twenties.

Aarthi is such an inspiration, a personified lesson on being unapologetic about who you are. In the course of our conversation we talk about first dates as a space to engage on feminism, her childfree by choice lifestyle and how being married interplays with that. Aarthi takes us through what is the feminist thing to do when there has been domestic violence and shares how she tactfully navigates working with government systems while keeping a feminist approach.

I have worked with survivors of violence too and one question that I am often asked is how do you keep working on this difficult issue and Aarthi sums it up beautifully: the survivors haven’t given up, so how can we.

I hope you enjoy this conversation and find as much light in it as I did.

What happens when you cannot conceive naturally? 

Do conditions like endometriosis sentence you to infertility? 

Why is there so much secrecy around this?

In today’s episode, No one tells you we have Richa Goswami, an educationist who shares with us her intimate journey to parenthood. There is a lot of information available about assisted reproductive technologies but do we really know and understand the real experiences of someone who has gone through a procedure like IVF and how that affects their lives. Our conversation ranges from raising a gender sensitive child to the misconception that certain educational qualifications means you will be a great parent: spoiler – we are begin at ground zero as parents. Richa is one of the warmest people I have had the privilege of meeting and when she talks about the lack of dignity and fears and anxieties through this process, I felt moved. We took a minute to warm up, but I hope you stay with us to hear her share some profound lessons from her journey.

Have you ever wrestled with the question of whether or not you are ready to be a parent?

As a woman we carry the possibility of a thousand lives within our body but this biological possibility of being able to birth a child comes with the baggage of the assumption that you want to be a mother.

Today we begin this series of explorations on mothering starting with the decision to be one.

In todays episode we talk to Amrita Puryakastha –a fierce feminist and author of Everyday Revolutions. I invited her to talk about her dilemma around the decision to have a child or not but she generously brought in so much more to the conversation ranging from her journey with the research for her book, feminism, the lessons she has learned about her privilege and how they have shaped her work and the lens with which she sees her own mother. I got very emotional during the conversation and the vulnerability she brought in moved me and showed me a whole other side to her.