Move Your Desk

Have you heard of The Ugly Duckling story, published by Hans Christian Andersen in 1843?

It's about a duckling that looked different than the others, and was rejected by everyone in his close proximity - his mother, his siblings, and the people in the surrounding farm areas that tried to take him into their lives.

But, spring came and so did second chances.

He went out into the world ready to risk everything to find a way... to not be alone. In the process, the duckling finds out he has grown into a fully grown...swan. And, the other swans had no problem welcoming this bird into their flock. The recognized him as one of them in every way.

Notice, the swan was always a swan.

It's just the everyone around him didn't realize that's what he was, and expected him to be something else. So, he didn't measure up to the expectations of the crowd. In this case, a bunch of ducks.

Ducks and swans aren't the only living beings that deal with these misconceptions of value. 

Most of us experience it at one time or another in school, work, our neighborhoods, or in finding our true self. In the process, we can lose a sense of personal worth and value. We can wonder if we are on the right track as we question what we offer the world, how we offer it, and if there is really a person, a group, or a company that will recognize what we offer as valuable.

If you haven't found your people just yet, keep learning and building your knowledge base.

If you have, remember the experiences you had when your value wasn't recognized.

It can be a journey to figure it out. Embrace all parts of it because you take all of the experiences to whatever you offer next.

And, remember...

You will always be an ugly duckling in some ponds.

Go find your swans.

It's a sly statement, but I'm finding that it is part of every single day.

The moment someone says you should try something and you say, "Nah, not for me" or "Nope, I don't do that..."

It's fine, if you've tried it before and determined that you don't like it, it's not the best use of your time, or not part of the highest value you can offer.

But, what if your response is just because you've decided it's not for you without giving it a concerted effort to really find out.

A few months ago I caught myself giving this response to some things that I've said consistently over the years. Here's a few of mine to prime your brain:

Nope, I don't do:

• saunas
• marathons
• spas
• singing solos
• modeling
• go to Walmart

These are just a few that I happened to talk about in this episode.

Seem kind of no big deal on the surface, but when I started to question my assumptions I found some hidden emotions and thoughts that were hard to tell myself.

Most of these were "nope" and "nah" moments because I was proud, jealous, fearful of failure, or self-righteous.

Yuck.

Take a look at your assumptions. Take a look at things you reject quickly. Ask yourself why. Go try them and see what's up with it.

Hidden in these things we want to avoid may be the doorway to discovering some of the best attributes, skills, experiences, relationships, and contributions that we can make.

Give yourself a chance the next time you find yourself saying, "Nope, I Don't do that" and see what happens.

I rode my bike exactly eight miles this year before riding 24.8 miles the day of the triathlon.

To say I didn't train is an understatement. Walking, arm weights, and water aerobics don't quite hack it. Especially if you are doing the Olympic version of the race.

To protect myself, I took a lot of breaks. Too many, in fact. And before I needed them. So the race became more of a saunter through the potato fields, and it took a very long time. I joked with people along the way that those of us who took a while were the real "endurance athletes" as we sweat it out in the 96-degree humidity for an entire Saturday morning.

But, I finished.

After triathlons, I become reflective and self-judgmental.

What could I have done differently? How can I prepare better for the next race?

And new questions crop up. Why am I doing this again? What am I seeking from this experience? Should I do this again?

Hidden in the responses to these questions are insights into motivations, fears, and often a core belief of "I am not enough."

I'm still asking the questions and finding that I'm not sure I'm clear on my reasons for pursuing this form of achievement.

And I'm realizing that reasons matter.

So, when you make a choice to pursue something...are you liking your reasons?

#moveyourdesk #podcast #triathlon #olympictriathlon #swimming #biking #walking #running #triathlonlifestyle

The struggle is real, whatever it is.

It can take you in several directions - through pity, despair, and self-destruction. But, also increased capacity to love, express your creativity, and unearth hidden talents to share with the world. And, be compelled to help others that want support on their struggle journey too!

This was a beautiful interview experience.

Kevin Faulkner shares his experience - the highs, the lows, and the lessons. He says his smile hid a lot of depression, fear, hurt, and anxiety in the past. His smile now shows the wisdom of what he has learned... with a strong sense of knowing himself more. And, a new secret happiness that he is anxious to share.

He has stepped into believing again, but we didn't touch fully on what that means. I have a feeling that will be his next book. Nudge, nudge.

Please listen. You will be inspired. And, please buy his new book of art, poetry, and prose all from his heart. I got it in the mail right after I finished recording the interview. I read it cover to cover, and will read it again. It's full of heart and insights that come from going through the struggle and emerging on the other side.

Connect with Kevin on Instagram at @kevinfaulknerpoetry. He shares poems from his book in the same charismatic way that he speaks in this podcast.

Kevin is at https://www.wonderedbliss.com - website, book, and podcast. Book is also on Amazon at https://amzn.to/3KA8Fqn.

The bus stop is now an essential part of my day.

It's the one moment, twice daily, where I feel a sense of community. Or, since it is the beginning of a new year, a newly forming community because it's a mixture of old friends and a lot of new additions to the mix.

The diversity is a complex mixture of people from Africa, the Middle East, Asia, Europe, and the Americas. Maybe Antarctica and Australia will come along soon! There are also a few languages in the mix. And people from four years old to their mid-70s. Add to this the types of work, interests, religion, and physical appearance of everyone and there is quite an interesting group!

Still, this week I looked around and saw a person or two that looked a bit separated from the crowd, and lonely. Though I'm the person (self-designated) to communicate and help everyone connect as best I can, I will still make my rounds to meet everyone. It just took one interaction for it all to change. A couple didn't know English, and another was just new to the neighborhood. The one interaction helped them slowly progress out of their shell and interact with others or... at least sit a little closer to the crowd.

It brought up a thought in my mind about the loneliness in diversity. Sometimes there is just so much diversity that it can be overwhelming, especially if you feel like you aren't able to fully express your personality or feel safe yet. In those moments, you really want sameness or familiarity to get your courage and confidence up.

This episode is just a nudge to embrace both diversity and sameness. Recognize what you need and where you might want to challenge yourself. If you have a problem with being around a diverse set of people, take a step toward one of them to learn more. If you embrace diverse people and opportunities at the expense of interacting with those that ground you... maybe take some time to interact with the familiar.

Also important is being aware of when you are the person that can help bring everyone together. In my neighborhood it was interesting to see that was made possible, partially because people with different languages were willing to interact, make mistakes, and allow onlookers to find joy from the imperfectly perfect communications.

#moveyourdesk #diversity #loneliness #communications #connections

Today, I randomly logged into my podcast provider account after a few months of not paying attention. I was surprised to see hundreds of listeners from all over the world delving into past episodes this week.

For some reason, it reminded me of all the topics I've wanted to share over the past 14 months that I haven't recorded.

So, I darted across the room, found my microphone, plugged it into the laptop, and started talking.

Yes, "darted" across the room.

No plan. Just deciding to get started again.

And so it goes. I've kept a running list of topics on my mind, and I'll start sharing again. I hope it reminds at least one person that it is okay to restart, even after a long hiatus. Even if you think no one cares or no one will listen. Or, even if you think it's too late.

You are still here on this planet. So, do the thing you need to do. And you might just have to tell me about it so that I can share it with my friends, too.

Unscripted, as always, and recorded on a whim today. That's how restarts go sometimes.

Happy Mother's Day. Happy Women's Day!

I am the oldest living child of 10 children. My parents had twins before me who passed away during childbirth. They are buried in Pensacola, Florida. So, I have seven living siblings. For most of my life, I've been a daughter, sister, and aunt to a few dozen nieces and nephews who live across the United States. I've also been a wife and, more recently, a mother, which is something that I have always wanted to experience. I'm grateful to be a woman.

For the four years I've had this podcast, I've wanted to talk about being a woman. But each time I've recorded an episode, I've felt like there is more to learn. Conversations with friends and family confirmed those thoughts.

Of course, there is more to learn!

This week, I decided to share a few thoughts during the Mother's Day season, even though I'm still learning and growing.

My DNA is filled with the history of amazing women. My sisters (including sisters-in-law), mother, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and beyond were driven by faith, adventure, hard work, pushing boundaries (and handcarts), and not judging themselves by cultural and media expectations. In many ways, I feel like I'm not living up to the heritage of women in my family tree. However, one thing is for sure: we are all moving, growing, and seeking to fully embrace the possibilities of life.

Setting aside the DNA, I have a lot of thoughts about being a woman in the world today. I change my mind frequently while still holding on to certain standards despite the outside influences that impact some women more than others.

Friends and family continue to help me learn more about being a modern woman, femininity, feminism, and everything else.

I'm sure there are more thoughts to share, but I shut down my work computer today and just started to record.

Reach out if you want to talk and offer more thoughts. I'm open to exploring this topic more.

Correction: I am the oldest living child of 10 children (not 8 stated in the episode). We are 8 living children.

Available through all major podcasts through https://pod.co/move-your-desk

#podcast #mothersday #pioneers #pioneerwomen #lauraingalls #karana #islandofthebluedolphins #barbie #mediainfluenceonwomen #women #womensfashion

Working virtually means that some days have very few interactions. However, I can count on one interaction each morning and afternoon regardless of the absence of human interaction.

The bus stop.

I had to drive pretty far to a bus stop each morning and afternoon during the first couple of years of school. But now it's a walk up the street.

Showing up at the bus stop takes effort. It takes effort to stay focused on yourself and your phone. Or, interact with others sharing the journey.

You decide.

I share a few thoughts today about my current experience. And I'll probably talk about this again as I add in the layers from prior years at bus stops.

I wrote a reflection last night and decided to read it on this episode today. Perhaps there is a little book in here somewhere, at least that is what a friend has nudged me to do with the learnings. I may take her up on it, after I finish another couple of books in process.

If you see the podcast thumbnail associated with this episode, I'm wearing the jean shirt that the Chinese grandmother gave me. And she's the woman holding my arm. Listen to find out why she is so special.

In this episode, I share what it means to live as an Edge Walker—someone who keeps moving forward without guarantees. I talk about the moments when certainty runs out and all you have is faith, and how I’ve learned to trust my inner compass, even when the map disappears. Through my own stories and reflections, I hope to encourage you if you’re standing at your own edge. You’re not alone—I’m walking this path too, right alongside you and so many others.

Your presence matters.

Sometimes you are leading from the front. Sometimes you are guiding from the side. Sometimes you are protecting quietly. Sometimes you are creating a safe space for someone to take the next step.

And, sometimes you are recognizing that someone is doing this for you in moments of your own personal challenges or weaknesses.

I share a few moments from my life with you in an attempt to nudge you to take a moment to think about those who have been a guardian for you, and for you to think about stepping up to being that for others going forward.

It's within you to take on this role, and to thank those that serve in this capacity for you.

Available through all major podcast services (https://pod.co/move-your-desk) and YouTube - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1c0TSanTzDfZYN0_BGNmYFyQXpQxIBIb