MS and SEX

What can the Leather Community teach us? Toni Solenne is a sex positive social activist warrior! We talk with her about what the leather community means to her; we hear about her new book- "Women in Leather: Shaping Our Own Identity.

Have you ever wondered what those kinky people are all about? In this interview, you will hear from a Leatherdyke about what this concept means to her and why she was drawn to this community. Not into kink? That's okay! These words of wisdom are for you too.

You can find Toni's book on Amazon, search for "Women in Leather: Shaping Our Own Identity" by Toni Solenne

Sometimes, life gets hard. In these times, we need to look to others and learn from their experience and individual wisdom. India Harville is an African American, femme queer, disabled, Access-Centered Movement dancer, choreographer, bodyworker, and social justice educator. The unifying thread in India's work is facilitating people working with their bodies as a vehicle for personal and collective growth and transformation. She is fantastic! You will love her velvety voice and her words of wisdom.

I will also talk about my brush with death with "The M.S. Episode that was Never Supposed to Happen to Me".

Here is India's website: www.lovingtheskinyouarein.com

I also mention a very important book I am reading with many folks from around the world. It is "My Grandmother's hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies. Try to buy the hardcopy from a local bookstore but I believe they are on backorder. I got a kindle version on Amazon.

Remember to click the "Subscribe" button; all that does is send you the next episode when it's available. Enjoy!

Bonus! Here is an Embodiment Meditation guided by India Harville. I had a COVID-19 scare last week (YIKES!) and so I listened to my body and took a few days off. Drift away on the dulcet tones of India's voice, go back and listen to the second "Prolly Gonna Cut that Out" with Roz Dischiavo, and go to https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/a-letter-from-the-virus-listen/ to watch a really beautiful short film that will give you hope. That should keep you busy until I have the full episode up in just a few days. Remember to rate, review and subscribe!

Here's India's Website: www.lovingtheskinyouarein.com

"You don't have to be disabled to experience ableism." Who gets to define ABILITY? Historically, who has deemed certain people valuable while telling others to stay quiet and in the background? How does this affect the culture that we live in? So many questions! In today's episode we learn about ableism, and I'll talk about how internalized ableism has affected my wellbeing. I introduce you to concepts from some folks in the disability justice community including Stacy Milburn, Rabbi Rose Kukla, and Dr. Angel Love Miles. I'll also interview Joleen Nevers. She is an instructor at ISEE and teaches the Sexability class that blew my mind and exposed me to the ways in which I had been hating on myself and my disability. I hope that it will introduce you to some ideas that will spark some excitement and hope within you.

Here is a small list of resources that I think you might find interesting:

Ten Principles of Disability Justice: https://www.sinsinvalid.org/blog/10-principles-of-disability-justice

· Joleen Nevers: https://instituteforsexuality.com/about/faculty/joleen-nevers/

· Crip Camp: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crip_Camp

· Stacy Milburn writings: https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2020/05/23/staceytaughtus-syllabus-work-by-stacey-milbern-park/?fbclid=IwAR3V7_0NNUrhQ9G_dIBiLughybipeYMs0jwN9Kju8UVzs7ekLxFQDya4zyQ

· Patrick Cokely: https://galtfoundation.org/martin-luther-king-jr-inclusive-disability-community-1

· Habin Girma: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2019/11/excerpt-from-the-deafblind-woman-who-conquered-harvard-law/

· The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: (Cory Silverberg, one of the authors of this book, acknowledges that though there is fantastic information to be found within its pages, he has grown and learned that there is a huge portion of disability justice values missing. He notes that there were no black contributors involved in writing this and so it is important to reach out to the broader community to gain a more holistic understanding of disability and sexuality.

Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good https://www.akpress.org/pleasure-activism.html

A little input from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, some gratitude for our narrator from the last episode, and an update on the new format that begins in June.

Here is where you can find more info about my creative website designer, Julian Maltby. Thank you for your fabulous voice and your creative mind.

https://formacuento.com/

This episode will expand your mind and heart. Join us for a deep dive into the interconnectedness of sexuality and the evolution of consciousness. We hear more from Dr. Dischiavo, then jump down a rabbit hole as we ponder Jean Gebser's theory of evolution and how it relates to our sexual nature and where we might be after we emerge from this pandemic.

Here are some links to check out:

The Institute for Sex Education and Enlightenment:

https://instituteforsexuality.com/

"The Evolution of Consciousness According to Jean Gebser" by Ulrich J, Mohrhoff:

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/8280/da861df9889a5f8f8ec210b3c50803cd3197.pdf

American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists

https://www.aasect.org/

Sex Ed for Social Change:

https://siecus.org/

Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality

http://sexscience.org/

Brene Brown clip on the power of vulnerability:

http://sexscience.org/

I also want to thank Julian Maltby for reading the part of Jean Gebser. He did this while redesigning our website and updating our logo. I highly recommend him for web and graphic work. Who knows? Maybe he'll do some narration for you if you ask nicely. Here is is website: https://formacuento.com/

Join us on our Facebook page at Joyful Sex Education and our website:

www.JoyfuSexEd.com

In part two of "Why is Sex Education Important?", we spend time talking with Dr. Rosalynn Dischiavo. She is the director of ISEE, the president elect of AASECT, and the author of "The Deep Yes, the lost art of true receiving". The links to these organizations and her book are below.

Don't forget to offer feedback on our Facebook page or take the time to rate, review and share this podcast. Thank you!

The Deep Yes: https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Yes-Lost-True-Receiving-ebook/dp/B01COCGE74

The Institute for Sex Education and Enlightenment:

https://instituteforsexuality.com/

AASECT:

https://www.aasect.org/about/about

First, if you haven't listened to the first episode in the "Why is Sex education Important?" series, please listen to that first. Then come back to this one.

Resources used in this episode:

Field, T. (2010). Touch for socioemotional and physical well-being: A review. Developmental review, 30(4), 367-383.

Green, L. (2017). The trouble with touch? New insights and observations on touch for social work and social care. British Journal of Social Work, 47(3), 773-792.

The relationship resource I have for you is the Gottman institute. We've attended a couple's weekend based on their work and it has been very helpful in strengthening our communication skills. https://www.gottman.com/blog/category/love-relationships/

If you have a therapist, see if they are doing remote sessions, and if you don't have one, search for therapists in your area. I can guarantee that you'll find people who are going remote. There are also a number of platforms that are app based, a therapist friend of mine recommended Fast Company: https://www.fastcompany.com/90440201/this-app-matches-marginalized-communities-to-therapists-who-share-their-background

Another friend said that the therapists at her clinic use an app called "Mend". You can find that in the app store.

Here are some DV resources:

Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Here are a couple of books:

"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans

"Why does he DO that?" by Lundy Bancroft

DV is increasing around the world during this pandemic, you are not alone. Here are a couple of articles: https://theintercept.com/2020/04/13/coronavirus-lockdown-domestic-violence/

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/06/world/coronavirus-domestic-violence.html

Finally, in this episode I point out that it is good to keep in mind that some people are struggling more than others with shelter, food, and safety. Beyond "keeping them in mind", which is kind of like "thoughts and prayers", we can donate to organizations that are helping people. I'm going to donate a portion of my "fuck you trump check" to a local food pantry, and another portion to a local women's shelter. So, if you are in good shape financially, you might think about googling organizations that are in a position to make a difference to make a little donation.

We are excited to share our first full episode of The Pleasure Principle, "Why is Sex Education Important?". For this episode, we sat down with Dr. Don Lucas, a professor of Psychology at Northwest Vista College in San Antonio Texas. He is also the dynamic host of "5 MI Weekly" on You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQFQ0vPPNPS-LYhlbKOzpFw/playlists

In the episode I also promise a link to learn more about the Harlow Monkey study, here it is: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/harlows-classic-studies-revealed-the-importance-of-maternal-contact.html

Thank you for listening! I am so grateful that you gave me 34 minutes of your time, I hope you felt that it was time well spent. Your feedback is invaluable to me, please take a moment to rate, review and share the podcast. I cannot tell you how much this will help me as I develop further content. I look forward to our next episode!

Remember to keep an eye out for this week's companion episode: "Prolly Gonna Cut This Out", where I will talk about one thing that stuck out at me in this interview. I'll also share a great exercise for you to do as you shelter in place. Until next time, stay safe and well.

Get ready for episode #1 (Part One and Two) of "Why is Sex Education Important. How do you get ready? By listening to this introduction, checking out the links I have included in the description, calling 1-888-569-3854 to ask questions or share your experiences. Then- share the link to this podcast. Please!

Dr. Don Lucas and his series "Human Sexuality Education": https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrr7zGRzgYQ_jm19XXHkL-e1X-E0zbiMY

Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo and her "Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment": https://instituteforsexuality.com/about/director-founder/

Thank you for listening!