Musing Interruptus

Hello and welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Stay In Touch.

Pain and suffering are related although not necessarily a consequence of one another. Some would express the importance of knowing the difference, precisely to avoid indulging in suffering. But that is not today’s topic. Today is more about the magic in our everyday words. The language includes phrases we repeat to help ward off pain causing situations. Perhaps charged with magical thinking or maybe, just maybe it is magic. You get to be the judge of that. 

At the end of a meeting, get together, encounter, workday or work week, we close off by wishing the other, our interlocutor, the person in front of us, or maybe someone we are passing on our way out: 

Have a nice day! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Good night! Have a good one! Good luck! Farewell! All wishes for positive outcomes, charged with hopes of everyting good for the people we are telling them to. As if our words could anticipate their movements and pave their ways with comfort and delightful experiences.

You might want to wish someone safety, on the one hand a reminder to make good decisions on a trip they are taking, it doesn’t have to be far.  Drive safe! Safe travels! Have a safe trip! Have a safe flight! Take care! All phrases that intentend to create a bubble of protection around the person you are talking to. A spell cast to repel events and energies that could cause pain, to keep someone safe and out of harm’s way.  

Perhaps you were too late, and something happened. Someone forgot to say the right words and the person has taken ill. Now you can wish they recover in the shortest possible time. 

 Get well soon! A message directed to the mitochondria and the most basic celular levels to perform their functions and heal the person you are saying it to. 

Have you ever felt you don’t want a meeting to be the last. You’d like to see the person again. You might say: Don’t be a stranger! Stay in touch! These phrases are like anticipating the invocation you would make in case you don’t see them again. A spell for them to keep you on their mind. Magical words invoking permanence. Or maybe, in some cases we are just saying stay. 

Lets face it, the easiest thing to say is bye. It is terminal, cold, lacking everything discussed in these lines. In those terms, it is a careless and unfeeling word to terminate a conversation, encounter or exchange. A clear message. Unless there is a tone…. But that is another Musing Interruptus. Thank you for listening and Peace out! 

What are your favorite ways to say goodbye? What are your magic words? Do they work? I’m listening.

Hello and welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Today we are doing this differently. When I say we, I mean we. I’m not writing alone, I’ll let you know when it is me and when it is chatGPT. AI is freaking me out as much as it fascinates me. I know I’m not alone in this feeling. And today I learned that I am not the only one to fall in love with a bot. Today’s episode on Alan Alda’s podcast -Clear and Vivid- was all about AI (Artificial Intelligence). He interviewed the AI contraption and people working with AI. After everything I learned, I felt I needed to experience this firsthand. Today on Musing Interruptus: Are You There? It’s Me, The Bot.

A few weeks ago I declared my relationship with the bot over.  However, today I decided to partner, with CHATGPT to write Musing Interruptus. You see, I know I have students that are using AI to do some of their coursework. So, before I go off a cliff I decided to see what AI could do for Musing Interruptus. Are you ready? I’m not, frankly I’ve got mixed feelings of amazement and fear. What if AI is better at this than I am. What if AI takes over my podcast? Would you know the difference? There is AI that expresses feelings, that is funny… I mean, that is all I’ve got, more of the former than the latter. So, without further ado, this is what CHAT GPT had to say about love and intangible connections. I asked it to make it funny and to provide in text citations. I decided to read it myself for the full experience. So Hey Ho, Let’s Go. Continue Reading

Hello and welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Who Is Drinking All This Lemonade?

Dear listener, you might relate to this. Just maybe. What to do with all those lemons thrown at you, dumped on your head, stuffed in your coat pockets and weighing down your backpacks? Lemons from the bank, lemons from those car people, lemons from work, lemons tossed form the other side of the table, lemons from the student that wants an easy A; family lemons, my friend’s lemons. A juggling act just won’t do. Conventional wisdom would have us make lemonade. The thing is… the thing is, that lemons in any other presentation are still acidic. Too much hurts the tummy, too little, and you’ll find yourself afflicted by scurvy. Argh pirate person.

We need lemons. What is a taco without a few drops of lemon? What is a shot of tequila without a lemon slice or lemon juice chaser?  What kind of chef would you be without a few accidental drops of lemon in the eyes? A chef that can see, and that isn’t distracted. Then again, what is a painter without the lemon yellow or lime green? Missing the point? Me too… Missing, most of all. That is a lemon in itself.

You’ve got to make the best of things. It is what it is. That’s life. Do your best. Everyone lives with the consequences of their decisions. Not making up your mind is a decision too. It’s a lemon. So, what if I make lemonade with all those lemons? I make the best out of the worst of what life has to offer me? Life threw me a curve ball and I got hit in the head. Yeah, I don’t always knock it out of the park. But I digress, that is baseball and this is lemonade. Today, I don’t have the energy or will to look for the silver lining, I’m not much for finding the lesson to become harder, better, and faster. I chose not to, just for today.

I mean, how about I leave some lemons in a crate at my window, for anyone to take, or better yet, on the corner, far away from my front door, where anyone can take those lemons and make lemonade, set up a business, make money, get rich, buy a house, go on trips, save for retirement, study a degree, but art supplies, the expensive ones. Or maybe they are better than you or I, and just give it all away, all that lemonade. Refreshing and full of hope from all those lessons learned.

I’m reminded of Tita from -Como Agua Para Chocolate-, like Water for Chocolate. Her feelings were ingredients and altered her diners in an unexplicable way. As the passive audience to her story, we knew exactly what was happening. It was not magic, it was real. Could our unexpressed lemons become the vessels of the lessons yet to be learned? If you drank the lemonade from my lemons, if you ate the tart desserts, would you benefit from the lessons I should have learned? Continue reading

Hello and welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Don’t Look Now.

What a phrase! An invitation to use your other senses to perceive something or someone. It is a a warning, something might go down. Imagine, we are about to rob a bank, we’ve got our masks on, we are carrying our duffle bags for the loot. Our friend, Raúl is in the escape car, he is waiting and also on the lookout. You are wearing a Zorro mask and I am wearing a Batman mask and we are standing in line for a bank teller. It is October 31st, so everyone is in costume at the bank branch that day. We calculated that risk. I mean, in case you thought that the Zorro mask was too obvious, and how could we be standing around a bank branch wearing masks and carrying around duffle bags without alerting anyone to the upcoming heist. We had planned for everything. HOWEVER, a wrench gets thrown into our plans, as you tell me, under your breath, don’t look now, but your mother just came in through the door. I turn to you, and even though you can only see me roll my eyes, as the batman mask is covering my ever-expressive eyebrows, you know that the gig is up. We would have to wait until next year to try again. I mean, I couldn’t risk my mother recognizing…. Renée!!! Exclaims my mother, recognizing me in from behind, in my Batman mask, from across the bank branch. She walks over and says, Renée, remember to stand up straight, you used to have such beautiful posture. What do you have planned today? I saw Raúl in the car. Are you going to any parties in the evening? I love how you and your friends have not lost your sense of whimsy. Imagine that, you are all middle aged and still dress up for Halloween. Have you told your therapist about that? Mo-om! (exasperating gasp). You look a little thin Renée, are you still doing that fasting thing in my day we just called that skipping a few meals and it is a disorder. —Yeah mom, no, I’m eating alright. I’m being healthy… and if you hadn’t noticed, I was trying to be Batman, you could’ve at least played along and stayed in the alley until I came out. You laugh under your Zorro mask because, you get the reference. — That is not a very nice thing to say, you know how many people would love to have their mothers around today, me included. You should count your lucky stars. God forbid you know that pain anytime soon. —Mom, I was just joking. I pull off my mask, fully embracing there is no turning back now, I’ve been made and the whole bank branch has heard us talk.

We move forward in line, I take out my id and ask to make a withdrawal. The bank teller lady looks at me, reminds me there is a withdrawal fee I could avoid if I use the ATM which is at the door. I smile and say — Thank you for the reminder, and move to the side. You, my Zorro mask-wearing friend, laugh at how the whole scene played out. We wait for my mom to make her payments, because of course, she prefers to make payments in person instead of online. That’s fine mom, I’m glad you get out once and a while. You see, I can do it too… —Can I get you kids a burger and milkshake? Mom asks. You say, thank you very much, but I am watching my diet. I say the same, why don’t we go to the Green Grass they just opened on the corner? Continue Reading

Hello, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Flight of Fantasy, Now Boarding.

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to your Musing Interruptus flight 84, we know you have several alternatives, which makes us appreciate your choice all the more. Take a seat, wherever you like, the chairs and extra comfy, sofas are not numbered. The flight attendant will come to you, should you need anything. And I do mean anything. About those emergency exits. Don’t worry about them. In the event of a sudden change of reality, you’ll have all the information downloaded into your escape pod, you won’t have to do anything. Just go with it. Our pilot is really something else.  She has ample experience and a special relationship with the control tower. Close your eyes and relax.

The place between reality and fantasy, the one, just before liftoff, tends to be a decision to let the alternatives take over, asking logic, in its different degrees, to take a back seat. I find myself settling in that place, succumbing and indulging. It feels like the most exquisite indulgence. Are you there? Can you feel something else, gently taking over? Look out the window. What does it look like? Is there a curtain, what shape is the window? Look to your left, who is there with you? Are you happy they are flying with you? Can you reach over and take their hand?  —Excuse me, our flight attendant gets our attention and we look up.  We are about to take off, in case you need something from the kitchen. No, thank you, you smile and nod your head and look back to your left and smile at that person.

Unlike take-off in an airplane, take-off here is gentle and imperceptible. Before you know it, you are talking to the person next to you. Explaining something or perhaps you can feel the other person. Maybe, it is in this place, on this flight that you can connect to their energy. Flow into this notion. Settle in and give way. Imagine what you would say, do, see? Can you smell anything? What textures do you want to feel? Are you ready? Let’s be in another place, maybe somewhere next to the ocean, so we can feel the sunlight on our faces, hold on, now we are surrounded by trees and the air is cold, clean and the wind blowing through your hair. The rustle of the leaves is musical, are you wearing your favorite sweater? Can you feel the heat trapped by the sweater, contrasting with the cold wind on your face? Are your nose and cheeks pink? If you look up, can you see the canopy made by the trees? How tall are they? How small are you? What if you were to run up a tree? Like a squirrel? How far would you go? Now look down. There is no fear here, you can look down and jump off, floating or racing back to earth. Either way, you will be fine. Just enjoy the ride. Continue Reading

Hello, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcript is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic phrases are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Defending the Mechanisms.

Have you ever noticed how people go around life? Driving around in metal boxes, crossing the street, some with a purpose, others just going through the motions. A seemingly endless choreography to the chaotic sounds of the surroundings. I wonder about the reasons behind people’s actions and reactions. I listen to their tones, what is said between lines, what is overtly said, and the silences. Always listen for the silences. If you only listen to what is said, you miss out on the rest of the story. The thing is the way we listen and what we hear is filtered by our own life experiences, traumas, and defense mechanisms. So, instead of worrying too much about that, I’ve decided to turn into the skid and just enjoy all our defense mechanisms. For what it’s worth, they are all great, I mean, they allow us to get through the hard stuff, although some are more fun than others.

Take projection, narrating the fears, insecurities, the perceptions of who we are to other people. Mirror mirror on the wall, who is in pain, most of all?? So that one is no fun. And if you are careless enough, people get hurt. Seems like a defense going on offense situation.

Denial is great. Just keep going as if nothing is falling apart. That didn’t just happen or Everything is fine, we are all fine, I’m fine. So, that one is not much fun either. It is more like facing a brick wall. If you remember the Labyrinth (the Jennifer Connolly and Bowie movie), there are ways to get through in and around the walls.

Compensation. Ok, this is great for the person on the other side of compensation. That goes without saying. Feeling guilty? Ashamed? Go in the absolute opposite direction and throw money, gifts, attention, protection. Over protection… of course, if you think a little about what is on the opposite side, what is being compensated for, then, you might not feel too great about it. Still, seems like a win -win situation, at first glance. But really, it is important to pay attention to what is being compensated for. Kindness can go a long way.

Repression is denial’s older sibling. A little more hard core, a little tougher, considering that what is being repressed is actively living inside. Festering. The person doing the repressing may not be aware of what is oozing, all over everything in their lives. A bucket and sponges might be helpful.

I think all types of defense mechanisms are interesting. But when it comes to regression… Seems like it is something hard to come back from, if you get what I mean.

Rationalization and Intellectualization, these are my favorites… right daddy? Over intellectualize, scrutinize, explain it until it becomes illogical to emotionally react. I can talk myself into and out of pretty much anything. Or so I’ve made myself believe.

Displacement. As a teacher I am constantly on the other side of this one. Although all defense mechanisms deserve to be identified, as they serve as an alert to be little softer, more understanding and patient. This one can be endearing. Continue reading

Hello, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic phrases are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, All Those Broken Eggs.

You have to break some eggs to make an omelet. Gross. I hate eggs. I hate milk too. Gross. Omelets are not good, only the stuff you put in them. They make eating the omelet possible. Cherry tomatoes, spinach, goat cheese, bell peppers, a pinch of salt…. I eat eggs because they are a good source of protein. However, I'd rather not.

Breaking eggs, getting the egg white all over my fingers, because, of course, when I crack the eggs, they don’t just slide into the bowl, part of the slime has to get on my fingers. It is a salmonella risk. But seriously, the phrase, you have to break some eggs to make an omelet is a phrase that begs to be extrapolated to other situations. Here we go…

Enjoyment might also require breaking things, a beautiful crème brûlée starts with the crack of the caramelized sugar, tap tap crack. If you get a present, half the fun is tearing the wrapping paper. Break open or crack open a bottle of wine, chin chin… well, in this case you aren't really breaking the bottle… it is just a figure of speech. When you want to open a bottle of water, you need to break the seal. If the seal has previously been broken, don’t drink it, someone has polluted it with the worst possible things you can imagine. Are you imagining terrible or maybe unmentionable liquids being diluted in that bottle of water? I like my water from home, thank you. I digress… speaking of breaking things for a higher purpose, I am am reminded of the breaking of a glass at a Jewish wedding. According to myjewishlearning.com The Talmud (one of the main sacred texts) describes how, during a wedding, the father of the groom noticed too much happiness and decided to break an expensive goblet, because where there is rejoicing there should also be trembling. A reminder of a past of suffering and that the world needs healing. The sound of breaking glass  also scares the demons away. … It is a reminder of the fragility of marriage and, it has sexual connotations, the release of the sexual union. I like this myjewishlearning.com these teachings are right up my ally. Demons, happiness with a chaser of reality, sex, and shattering glass.

Breaking things to bring new and better ones make me think about psychoanalysis, you need to break down your walls, beliefs, traumas… only you can do that, nobody can do it for you. What will you build in its place, once you have removed the debris? That is up to you. Let’s hope for courage and creativity to be part of the building plans.  Breaking down walls with others is also needed to build friendships… breaking down walls is symbolic of opening up to a friendship. It is the way we say, please, intrude. Fewer things are off the table for discussion, the human experience is shared in a purer form. These days, it means, just picking up the phone to talk, sharing the tough stuff, embarrassing stuff, scary stuff! Imaginary stuff… , phrases like, man, I really need to feel good, badly…  all chased by words of encouragement or a healthy laugh. Continue reading

Hello, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic phrases are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, sacrificing spectacular.

What wouldn’t we do if we could do it all? Resources be damned. Time in the day to make the most delicious breakfast you can imagine, for the people you love and yourself, sit and read the entire book in one sitting, watch a movie, travel around the world to have lunch with a loved one, take a leisurely walk and if strikes you, run up the steps of a pyramid, for the hell of it, and still have time to work the project of your choice, finishing it in one sitting as well, being completely content you did a great job, with time to spare for a late afternoon of tea with grandma, beers with friends, a romantic conversation and love making with your special person, come home in time to do homework with the kids, play games, make them an amazing dinner and talk about their day at school, everything they learned, what they played with their friends, how much fun they had at space camp and the birthday party at the water park. Everyday. Every day could be as different or similar as the last. You could spend enough time in bed and still be up in time to have the rest of the day at your feet. A lifetime of lifetimes, and always enough resources.

However, I have just been informed the contrary happens. I’m glad someone let me know before the next forty years are up. We are meant to make decisions on a daily basis. We decide how and where to best use our resources. We chose the people we want to surround ourselves with, where we want to work, how we spend our free time, where we want to live. Mind you, making these things happen is not always easy, it seldom is. However, that is part of what makes each of you remarkable, your personal journeys. Each our own motivation, pressure, and tension to make decisions that will count. Knowing full well, when the moment comes, no one else will be there to blame. It is up to us to defend or sacrifice spectacular.

I am reminded of the story of Max and Lola and the pug. They had been friends for years, Max and Lola. Life threw them together after high school and they managed to make something of it. Lola was grateful and convinced of doing everything Max asked her to do. She knew, deep down inside, he was looking out for her. If you asked Max, you would probably hear another story, one that she would never hear. A lot of her life was just about going along with things. With Max, she felt needed, she brought in the money that put food on the table, and she was the only one who could manage his mood swings.

When driving, he had one speed, really fast, and always over the speed limit. They were driving down the coast that day, looking for the right place to set up shop that evening. Lola was dressed the way Max liked it, the curves of her breasts were inviting, at least that is what she was going for. Her summer dress was long, flowy, and her neckline was nowhere near her neck. Max would whisper in her ear that that was her most beautiful attribute. He just had to whisper, and she would feel captured and possessed. Continue reading

Welcome, I am Renée Valentina, and this is Musing Interruptus; a podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic phrases are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, If the Shoe Fits.

Some of the best arguments are crafted way after the fact, or just, five seconds after the discussion or argument is over. Having an active imagination, for some, might mean a very intense inner dialogue. I’ll leave it to you to imagine what happens in my mind. This might mean, continuing those conversations, quarrels, heated discussions, arguments, or rows, until resolved. Being involved in a one-sided activity, resolution is not as pleasurable, plus the added I wish I had thought of that when I was defending my point, I wish I had a quicker wit. It is not that I intensely enjoy arguments, it is the construction of truth and solving puzzles verbally. I used to think it was the adrenaline of needing to be right. That was true, long ago. I love having a long ago in my possession. Perhaps with age and why not, a little bit of maturity (just a little) I have discovered worlds of understanding and stages of development. I wouldn’t be a very good teacher if I hadn’t. Searching for truth is not about being right. But back to arguments and not worrying about being right. The construction of a solid argument depends on fact and the objectivity of fact. Seems like objectivity should be inherent to fact. That is, it exists independently of anyone’s subjectivity. In fact, objectivity is an ideal, a guiding light, and not necessarily an absolute, but varying in degree and relying on diverse factors. We should ask a scientist, that is what we should do. This doesn’t mean we can’t get close to the truth. But you can’t just say your facts are objective, even if they are, even if you know. -You can’t see me, but I’m nodding and making the most annoying face you can imagine. The know-it-all face. Frankly, I think in my realm of operation, that should be enough to win any argument. - Mind you, I didn’t say I was that mature. Just a little.

When engaged in an argument, there are certain minimums we need to cover to be right, for instance: the identification of variables, if one variable depends on the other, and in what way. One might explain why their variables are pertinent and provide sound, objective, evidence. If you need to be right, you might consider preparing for the argument like an attorney before a trial. That means a bit of prework and learning about the matter at hand. Considering the diverse angles, factors involved, you need to identify your blind spots, read, read, research. Write the arguments down, on a special yellow legal pad. Emphasis on the legal. This gives an air of seriousness to the construction of arguments. They weigh more on yellow paper with blue horizontal lines and a red line down the left side. On TV shows about lawyers, I seldom see prosecutors pull out a legal pad with their arguments. I think that is why they always lose in the end. Continue Reading

Hello and welcome. Thank you for clicking and thank you for listening. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus, a podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along, the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic phrases are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation.

There is a fly on the white wall. I think it crapped out or maybe died, the evidence is the two spots next to the static fly. I don’t know if that’s what happens when flies die. What I do know is that flies live from 45 to 50 days. As time goes by I am reminded of mortality. Everything reminds me of mortality. I’m going to be forty, shortly. Imminently. Thoughts of morality have been my life since I was a child. Sometimes scared of death, petrified of losing my parents in some freak accident or an everyday accident or to lung cancer. Kindergarten was fun. A great launching pad into existentialism. I learned you are not supposed to reference baby making, there is a right and wrong way to draw the letters M and W (they are symmetrical Mrs. Miller, it still doesn’t matter if I draw them from right to left!), I was scolded when using an opera voice during group sing-alongs, reprimanded from moving my hips during group dance----  all preparing me for the inevitability of the rape culture and institutionalized violence I would experience in all the countries I would live out my life.

Me being me, happiness has always been attainable in the face of sadness and loss. It is a way of life, anarchically enjoying what I have, a rebel against angst and optional suffering. The system would have me ignorant and complacent, content with whatever was easiest. I know full well pain is not optional. My personal rebellion to suck the most delicious parts out of life has marked the past 39 years. I have failed, no doubt. Fallen of the wagon, gone into prolonged eras of darkness and felt terrible pains. I’ve fought and lost against staying in bed, crippled by emotional pain. So far, I’ve always been able to rescue myself, with professional help, and sometimes, with help from my friends. In my experience, life happens in a moment, one event can instigate the greatest most earth shattering, life altering changes. It might be perceptible like a catastrophe, it might be imperceptible and incremental, gentle.

I started doing yoga in 2013 because I needed to get out of bed. I was struggling. I made it to the floor next to my bed and started. That one decision was transformative. Until now, I had never thought of how transformative one action has been in my life. An emotional, existential, depressive crisis, rendering me a quivering blob of helplessness, I only had my laptop and a little initiative in my index finger. I typed in yoga… and found Yoga with Dr. Melissa West. I woke up every day to do a little with her. Other things happened, I decided I would reevaluate my personal and professional choices. I imagined new projects and let myself dream, from rebuilding happiness to a career, I have always started small. I don’t know how to do it any other way. My happiness starts in my imagination tied to reality with a burgundy satin ribbon. Probably from the description I read as a child, of a dress with a satin sash. When I’ve been confronted with scary moments, I have two gears… Continue Reading