Must-Knows Before You Die

Must knows for getting through your 20s successfully
A brand-new season is here! And I couldn’t be more excited to have you all back with me on this journey! Welcome to Season 1 of our podcast, where each season is like a chapter, diving deep into different areas of life that matter most.

This season, we’re tackling a topic close to all of us—how to navigate our 20s successfully. It’s a decade full of challenges, growth, and incredible opportunities, and I’m here to help you figure it all out.

From building confidence to managing finances, relationships, and everything in between, we’re covering the must-knows to make these years count.

So, whether you’re just starting your 20s, in the thick of it, or even looking back with some wisdom to share, there’s something here for you.

Stay tuned, and let’s conquer this season together. Here’s to thriving in our 20s—one episode at a time!

(Originally posted in October 2022)
In this episode, Niya reflects on a recent difficulty she experienced and what she learned from it. 

Hello my dears,

Do you find relationships to be easy and peaceful experiences? Do you often end up resentful that your love was not reciprocated? or is your frustration more that people want more of you than you feel comfortable offering them?

It turns out most of our impulses, needs and expectations are ingrained in our attachment system that we gained in our early life experiences.  That is what attachment theory is all about and is often not understood in all its nuance.

It was formulated by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1960s and has gained a lot of popularity and research interest till the present day.

Remember, attachment style is an adaptive response and not a flaw.
It is hard work to change your subconscious view of the world but possible and it's key to having healthier loving relationships.

If you would like to do that work, the best way is probably to look for attachment informed therapists but I know that is not always accessible to everyone. And that's no problem because there are some great resources online. None of this is an AD by the way, it's just what I found most helpful for me.

1. Personal Development School by Thais Gibson
2. Podcast: Therapists Uncensored Podcast
3.  Book - Attached: The new science of adult attachment
4. Heidi Priebe YT Channel: Heidi Priebe

Hello my dears,

In this episode, we're going to spiral beyond time and space to figure out how we can be truly free, why that matters, if it does, and why we need it and we end at two painfully honest truths. 
 Enjoy!

Life is full of losses and heartbreak. How can we thrive because of what happened to us instead of letting it break us?

In this highly vulnerable episode we'll discuss the complexity of loss and the people it turns us into. Then we end with a beautiful story you definitely should not miss. 

Vincent Van Gogh once wrote "I put my heart and my soul into my work, and lost my mind in the process."  

He is not the only one who struggled with anxiety and depression in his short life. There is not enough space to name all the impressive artists who suffered unimaginably if not committed suicide.  

Being a good artist requires an incredible amount "feeling" and focusing on expressing. But is there anyway to not be consumed in the world of dark emotions?

Today, we’re exploring the emotion we call guilt. And how it is leading us to doing worse not becoming a better person.

All examples are fictional.

Resources:
Is corporal punishment an effective means of discipline
Reduced Prefrontal Cortical Gray Matter Volume in Young Adults Exposed to Harsh Corporal Punishment
Parental Conditional Regard: Psychological Costs and Antecedents

Books on parenting with unconditional love
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will: by Shefali Tsabary Ph.D.

What does it even mean to be a good person in this messy and complicated world we're living in? 

We all want to be happy.   

But for people who value happiness a lot, we do tend to do a lot of things that make us unhappy. Especially when it comes to work. Only about half of the people in the US enjoy their jobs. Is there anything we can do about this? or is selling our soul for some coin our only option? 
 
In this episode, we'll talk about how we can find work that we love and are engaged with and other factors that increase our quality of life.
 
Books mentioned: Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi    
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Have you ever been in situations where you can't comprehend how a person can believe things that seem so insane?
Why are people that try to be good and moral divided by their beliefs?

In this episode, Niya answers a call from her 50 years future self that is struggling to get a grasp of moral beliefs.

*Some ideas in this episode are inspired by the book "The Righteous Mind" by Jonathan Haidt. A really good book full of thought-provoking ideas. Buy it here: Amazon*

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