In mid-2024 as it became clear my time at my last job was coming to an end, I was talking with a dear friend, the Rev. Traci Blackmon, and Traci gave me an important word of warning and counsel. She said to not be surprised if I went through a crisis of identity over the next several months. It’s natural, she said. Your whole adult life your job has been part of your identity and now you won’t have that.
It’s not unusual … people go through it all the time whether through voluntary retirement or involuntary job loss … and it can be hard. I had no idea how hard.
Over the next seven months, I lost my job, I left my marriage and I spent the next year living in spare bedrooms of wonderful friends in Culver City, Tucson and Marin County. And I realized how much of my sense not just of self but of worth had been tied up in those identities. I still had some important identities left … I was still a father, a friend, even a priest … though even those relationships and identities were undergoing some significant shifts.
And, thanks to a wonderful community of friends and the gift of time, what could have been – and frankly, sometimes felt like, a tremendous crisis of meaning, purpose and identity – ended up being a wonderful opportunity to learn from the past 30 years of my life and begin the process of being remade … and getting back to the core identity that for three decades I had been telling other people but had struggled with believing myself – that I was a child of God, beautiful, powerful and good – and that was the only worth I would ever need.
One of the friends who helped me and is still helping me through this time is my guest today. His name is Jeff Koziatek. Jeff and I have known each other for about a dozen years and have walked through a lot of life events together. He has gone through a lot of challenges and changes in his own life and has found a vocation helping people walk just the journey I have been on. He is the founder of Core Authenticity, a leadership coach, a dynamic speaker and leader but more than that for me he has been a source of deep wisdom and even deeper joy.
As I listen to so many of you in this changing world today, I realize these struggles for identity and meaning are not unusual they are everywhere … and so is an epidemic of silence of how deeply we are struggling with it all.
So I thought this would be a great time to bring Jeff on and have him share some of the principles and practices that have guided him and that certainly helped me … and that I hope can bring some wisdom and joy for you as well.
Jeff's website - https://www.coreauthenticity.com/
Mask Trilogy - https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jeff+koziatek+mask
Juggling Jeff at All Saints Church for Joy Sunday - https://youtu.be/Vucx8SJfC_I?si=cgTv6eaVYn9GjqiG
