Mutual Understanding

Relatively rambling as usual, especially the second half I think. I hope some of you enjoy it!

Some links:

* Kave on X

* Kave’s blog (with his excellent Inkhaven posts)

* some tweets of mine about being stuck in puzzles

* Justin Wack and the Big Time Hack

* Scott Whiskers

* Mutropolis

* Golden Idol games

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

Last week, I went to see Matt Bateman and Aaron Stupple talk about their parenting disagreements at The Montessorium, the (pretty new!) school Matt created. I enjoyed their conversation, wanted to hear even more, asked them if they’d be up for coming on my podcast, and they did!

Probably the best place to find more is on X.com, and here are a few more links too:

* Aaron’s book, The Sovereign Child (the link is to the free pdf, and it’s also available at all major book stores

* Taking Children Seriously

* a thing I wrote a while back about some of what I think about unschooling

(ETA: I have locked the comments because I both feel somewhat responsible for comments made on my posts and don’t have the bandwidth to monitor them at this time)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

A bunch of this was me trying to understanding Shea’s metaphysics of value and also where he sees property rights as coming from. It may have been more repetitive than usual, since I kept asking him to explain stuff again, but it was helpful for me at least!

We reference this series of blog posts about proposed reforms to zoning laws.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

Shea started out talking about recognizing thought processes as value-laden, and then we got into ~psych debugging a way I think some of my thought processes haven’t been respecting what I think are the correct internal property rights. Shea updated somewhat about what I mean when I’m saying things in an IFS framing.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

Some things we mentioned include:

* A Positive Account of Property Rights

* the original instructions for we-ness

* someone's write-up of the we-ship experiment that Malcolm ran (the one where we did the "goodbye for now, Malcolm")

Malcolm also posted the same conversation but with video to his YouTube channel if you want that!

I’ve included some automatically generated chapter timestamps in case that’s useful.

Chapters

00:00 Exploring Internal Family Systems and WeSpace

03:01 Collective Selfness and Group Dynamics

06:00 The We-Ship Experiment: Collective Consciousness

08:59 Navigating Individuality within Collectivity

11:58 Fractal Nature of Selfness in Groups

15:02 Understanding Self-Energy in Group Contexts

17:55 Projection and Responsibility in Group Dynamics

20:49 Defining Boundaries: What is Us and What is Not Us?

27:00 Navigating Relevance in Conversations

29:55 The Dynamics of Group Triggers

32:57 Exploring Collective Self and Shame

36:12 Understanding Boundaries and Ownership

39:00 Moral Layers in Property and Boundaries

41:54 The Complexity of Group Dynamics

44:58 Fairness and Communication Styles

55:58 Earning Attention and Communication Dynamics

57:03 Navigating Group Dynamics and Proactive Engagement

59:00 Establishing Boundaries in Communication

59:51 Finding Solutions in Parenting and Communication

01:00:55 The Importance of Shared Information in Conversations

01:03:05 Addressing Safety and Container Dynamics

01:03:59 Self-Sustaining Dynamics in Group Settings

01:05:55 The Role of Leadership in Group Containers

01:07:54 Exploring Collective Self and Attunement

01:10:01 Unpacking Self and Group Dynamics

01:11:57 Ego Awareness and Self-Modeling in Conversations

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

I probably should have split this up into two episodes, but instead it’s all together.

The first part of the conversation is basically about how Shea thinks military conflicts should work in the modern world, with the recent Israel and Iran war as a jumping off point.

We talked about The West Wing speech about a proportional response.

I tried to summarize what I thought Shea was saying about his theory of conflict, and how it analogized to interpersonal conflicts between individuals.

And then, at 1hr 28min in, we switched topics and talked some about how both of us have big families as atheists, which is pretty uncommon. I have plans to make a mini series of podcast episodes with various atheists who have large families, so this is sort of the first episode of that. (But I expect me and Shea to revisit the topic later too.)

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

I had a fun time catching up with my former cohost!

Some links we mentioned:

* Ben's website

* Ben’s substack

* Good Strategy Bad Strategy

* my blog

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

We talked about the scarfgate and it turned into a whole thing about how discussions of ethics should work. We didn’t even really get to the part about “high agency”! We did get to analyzing how I pirated music when I was in college.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

We only had a time for a short episode today, but I hadn’t recorded anything in a while, so here it is!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com

I saw this Twitter thread from Sarah and offered her to talk to her about it on a podcast, and Aaron volunteered to moderate.

I was more taking the position that all emotions are functional, and Sarah was approaching things from a more bio-realist perspective. Ultimately, I don’t think we disagreed about all that much once we hashed it out!

Some things we referenced:

* How Emotions are Made

* It’s not about the nail

* Ads don’t work that way

* Society is fixed, biology is mutable

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mutualunderstanding.substack.com