My dog will eat my face

In this "special" podcast I discuss a new and worsening series of physical issues, that are truly alarming and absolute "firsts" in my life's history. I fear my Protein C deficiency is causing these issues, but right now, there is no way to be sure.

Don't worry, I'm still dying, but wanted to get some thoughts that have been in my head for a while off my chest. In this episode I discuss the war in Ukraine - and my personal connection to it. My perspective is likely controversial, however. So please listen kindly and gently.

In this podcast I summarize a recent and troubling Care Call between hospice and family. I also give in to the idea of cremation, and select a profound resting place, wherein my knowledge of Roman history beautifully meshes with ancient and modern sentiments, Kinda spooky, really,..

In this episode, I completely go off topic and rant about a pet peeve I have with how the American government is described. It's certainly proper considering the upcoming election, and maybe some listeners will find themselves doing the same error that makes my skin curl.

Lately I have noticed further isolation, and me subconsciously withdrawing myself more and more from the world. This is a common part of the dying process, I'm told. And I don't like the consequences of such withdrawals... They put my mental peace and clarity in jeopardy. In this podcast, I struggle to find the answer to handling this unwelcome change.

It's been a rough few weeks for me, with physical issues, and also keeping the best possible hospice service for myself.

As I look at a common behavior I do to ensure I get better service, I began to wonder if it was manipulation. And, if it is, is it really so bad as society makes it? Or is a little manipulation good for all of us?

What happens when you review the Stoic, Swahili, and modern "box universe" theory for consistency? Sounds like a joke... but no. You find one similar belief with respect to the past. The same belief that has given me peace with my mortality.

But if you do have any good "a Stoic, Swahili, and theoretical physicist walk into a bar" jokes, I'm all ears!

I once said that loss itself is a human illusion. But this perspective is one that I have struggled with the most since my self reflection permeated such a notion. Thus, I revisit this topic again and try to square it with my feelings of loss.

I admit freely I am a vain person. I always have been this way, but found positive outlets to mitigate negative feelings. But my current battle has me struggling intensely with what is merely a consequence of my disease and it's completely out of my control. Here I discuss the negative consequences and my drive to mitigate vain emotions with respect to my terminal diseases. It won't be easy...

In this podcast, I discuss the unique issue of suffering a terminal illness while still managing adult responsibilities and the visitation of maligned intentions from others. While this dispiriting triad is vexing at first, I find that response useless, and completely counterproductive. There is a better way to handle so much out of my control.