What does it really mean to be a “good woman”… and why does it cost us so much?
In this episode of My Healing Is Your Healing, I’m joined by Tracy Montgomery, creator of the Whole and Holy Woman movement. Together, we unpack the cultural and generational programming that teaches women to equate goodness with sacrifice, servitude, and self-abandonment and what happens when a woman finally decides she’s done living for everyone else’s comfort.
We talk about the “pick me” wound, the fear of rocking the boat, and how women fracture their identity trying to be everything to everyone. Tracy shares how reclaiming your power often begins in the smallest moments: saying what you want, setting a boundary without apologizing, and choosing yourself first even when it feels uncomfortable.
This conversation is for the woman who’s tired of shape-shifting, tired of performing, and ready to come home to herself without needing permission.
In this episode, we explore:
• What the world really means by “a good woman”
• How “goodness” becomes a mask for fear and belonging
• The true cost of self-sacrifice: identity fracture, burnout, resentment
• Why “I wasn’t chosen” often means “I wasn’t choosing me”
• The difference between service and self-abandonment
• How to start choosing yourself in practical, everyday ways
• Why discomfort is not danger and how leaning in changes your life
And if you’ve ever thought, “If I stop being the good girl, I’ll lose people”… you’re not wrong. But you might finally gain yourself.
Website link for the Radiant Women’s Collective is in the show notes: www.myhealingisyourhealing.com
GUEST BIO:
Tracy Montgomery is the creator of the Whole and Holy Woman movement. She supports women in reclaiming their wholeness through shadow integration, identity excavation, and truth-led embodiment. Her work centers on sovereignty, self-trust, and becoming fully expressed without giving your power away.
GUEST LINKS:
Website: www.risewithtracy.com
Instagram: @tracy.montgomery_
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.montgomery.79
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