This is my experience , my unique blueprint.
The quote I used on my forgiveness journey was
“ It is within me that I seek, not on me, not for the validation of others.” First I had to be comfortable knowing :
Sometime I will be the villain in someone’s else’s story and that’s okay:
sometime i will be the warriors and hero in others.
Not everyone will agree with me and that was normal.
I have always here the saying: “Forgiveness is not for the perpetrators it is for you. “
I never truly understand this until I was on a journey called THE DARK NIGHT of THE SOUL.”
A journey that brings up scratching unbearable pain. A journey that trigger anger towards myself for what I allowed all my life.
A journey that trigger me to forgive myself and release guilt and shame.
A journey that requires me to forgive my entire family and walk away for them all. The root in which all my traumas started since birth.
A decisions that broke my heart severely but brings peace to my soul and respect for myself. A respect that kept on elevating to the highest version of self.
I wanted to forgive and I needed it to be genuine.
I was tired of living in a repeated toxic cycle.
I was ready to heal..
I was ready to take accountability for my action.
I was ready to forgive myself.
I was ready to let go of all my guilt and shame.
During my healing I realize I had to be my own villain I had to be resilient I and to be aggressive and rebellious to the negative and procrastinating thoughts.
I could not heal with passiveness I had to heal with aggressiveness.
I had to command self-respect
I had to command self-love
I command consistent
I command discipline
And most importantly
I command staying grounded In my uniqueness.
First I had to understand that I can forgive everyone that hurtled me and never give them access to my life ever again:
Secondly.. I had to understand that I had to forgive on my own terms, not on the expectation of others or society's standards.
Not only did I have to forgive emotionally.
It had to be felt on a energetic level.