My Rejection Story

Ever heard of defensive failure? What about productive failure?

In this deeply honest and psychologically rich episode, cognitive psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Amanda Crowell unpacks what it means to do the work that truly matters. We explore the Great Work framework, the emotional toll of overachievement, and the quiet sabotage of “defensive failure”—a pattern that stops us from even attempting the things we care about most.

Amanda shares her own story of striving for approval, hitting burnout, and experiencing a health collapse that forced her to radically rethink her life. From panic attacks and autoimmune flare-ups to a TEDx talk viewed by 1.7M+ people, her story is a roadmap for finding meaning at work, rediscovering your voice, and finally choosing yourself.

This conversation is for anyone yearning to feel more alive—whether by finding purpose at work, outside of work, or figuring out how to enjoy work again after years of burnout. It’s also a must-listen if you’ve ever doubted your potential, or convinced yourself you’re “not that kind of person.”

What We Cover:

• Why most people fail before they even start—and how to spot “defensive failure” in your own life

• The pressure to overachieve: How childhood patterns, trauma, and external validation drive burnout

• Amanda’s breaking point: a panic attack that led to an unexpected health crisis and major life reset

• What “great work” really means—and how to spot your own great work thread

• The surprising way intrinsic motivation works (and why competitive goals often backfire)

• How to build momentum in the smallest ways—and stop self-rejection in its tracks

• Reframing rejection as data, not defeat

• Finding purpose at work worksheet (included in Amanda’s book!)

• How to do less, enjoy more, and feel alive again

  Why burnout recovery requires joy, not just rest

What if the thing that hurts the most isn’t rejection itself, but how your brain processes it?

In this emotionally resonant solo episode, host Alice Draper unpacks the lived experience of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): a lesser-known but deeply felt condition experienced by many, especially those with ADHD. Through childhood memories, Reddit stories, and peer-reviewed research, she explores why RSD feels like a punch in the gut, and what we can do to cope with it.

Alice shares a painful moment from her teenage years that still echoes today: being excluded by a close friend in front of others, and the full-body shutdown that followed. It’s a familiar story for many people with rejection sensitive dysphoria ADHD, particularly rejection sensitive dysphoria women navigating friendships, love, and work in a world that often mistakes sensitivity for weakness.

You’ll hear from others too: Stories pulled from rejection sensitive dysphoria Reddit communities that reveal just how common and debilitating these experiences are. Alice also walks through evidence-backed strategies pulled from a rejection sensitive dysphoria workbook by Neurodivergent Insights, and introduces a free rejection sensitive dysphoria test that listeners can use to assess their own experience.

Whether you're searching how to cope with rejection sensitive dysphoria, how to overcome rejection sensitive dysphoria, or curious about rejection sensitive dysphoria ADHD treatment options, this episode offers understanding, science, and self-compassion in equal measure.

If you’ve ever felt “too sensitive,” this conversation will help you feel a little more seen, and a lot less alone.

What We Cover:

• What rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) actually is—and why it’s not just about being overly sensitive

• The neuroscience behind why social rejection activates the same part of the brain as physical pain

• A deeply personal story from Alice’s teenage years and how those feelings still show up today

• Raw, relatable Reddit posts from people living with RSD

• The staggering statistic that children with ADHD hear 20,000 more negative messages by age 10 (via Dr. William Dodson)

• A reputable, expert-backed rejection sensitive dysphoria test you can take to assess your symptoms

• A resource-rich article from Neurodivergent Insights that doubles as a rejection sensitive dysphoria workbook

• Tools and strategies for emotional regulation, black-and-white thinking, and self-compassion

  When (and how) to seek professional help—and what to know about ADHD treatment for rejection sensitive dysphoria

What happens when success becomes a prison?

In this candid and soul-baring episode, bestselling author and branding expert Jessica Zweig opens up about the emotional cost of staying in a business that no longer aligned with her truth. She shares the moment she realized it was more painful to stay than to leave—and what followed was a journey of healing, identity loss, and radical self-reinvention.

Jessica speaks about the real-life complexities of leaving a business partnership without an agreement, navigating debt in entrepreneurship, and the slow unraveling that comes when you’ve built something that no longer serves your growth. Through her story, we unpack what it really means to change your life—not through hustle, but through alignment.

This episode will resonate deeply with anyone feeling stuck, burnt out, or silently questioning the cost of their own ambition.

What We Cover:

• Why Jessica left her first company, even though it looked like a dream from the outside

• The emotional and financial aftermath of splitting a business partnership with no formal exit plan

• The toll of chronic burnout and situational depression—despite outward “success”

• How to begin healing when your identity has been tied to achievement

• The meaning of spiritual entrepreneurship and how Jessica integrates it into her life today

• Practices that supported her transformation and helped her change her life for the better

  What sovereignty means—and why it’s not a luxury, but a necessity

In this short and powerful replay, ADHD coach, creator, and author Meredith Carder explains why masking happens, what ADHD masking symptoms look like, and how to make strategic choices about when to mask and when to unmask. Many people with ADHD mask their symptoms (at work, with friends, or in public) to fit in and avoid judgment. But masking comes at a cost, and for some, it can lead to ADHD masking burnout.

Meredith shares practical ADHD masking examples and her “low-reward masking” approach for reducing the energy drain of constant self-monitoring. We also talk about finding masking accommodations that help you function without burning out, and how community can ease ADHD friendship struggles, ADHD friendship issues, and help you build genuine ADHD friendship groups.

The conversation then shifts to ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria (also called ADHD rejection sensitivity disorder), including what’s happening in the brain during perceived rejection, why rejection sensitive dysphoria in ADHD women can feel especially intense, and how emotional regulation and ADHD are connected. Meredith shares tools for increasing rejection tolerance, the role of executive functioning in ADHD women, and how to apply these strategies in daily life.

If you’ve ever looked up an ADHD masking questionnaire, searched for ways to prevent burnout, or wondered how to deal with RSD in a relationship, this episode will give you practical insights and compassionate perspective.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• The risks of constant masking and signs of ADHD masking burnout

• How to identify ADHD masking symptoms in yourself

• Real-life ADHD masking examples that can actually help

• Meredith’s “low-reward masking” approach to conserving energy

• How to find masking accommodations that support your needs

• Navigating ADHD friendship struggles, ADHD friendship issues, and building ADHD friendship groups

• Understanding ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria and ADHD rejection sensitivity disorder

• Why rejection sensitive dysphoria in ADHD women can feel different

  Tools for emotional regulation and ADHD

• The connection between executive functioning in ADHD women and rejection tolerance

• How to deal with RSD in a relationship and practical steps to reduce its impact

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  Links & Resources

  • Follow Meredith Carder on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hummingbird_adhd/

• • Read Meredith’s book on adult ADHD: It All Makes Sense Now: Embrace your ADHD brain to live a creative and colorful life
  • Subscribe to Meredith's Substacks: Meredith Carder Substack and It All Makes Sense Now Substack
• • Take an ADHD masking questionnaire to explore your own masking patterns: https://www.bhcsmt.com/aamm

  
  

  Chapters:
  01:33 The dangers of masking
  03:35 How masking can be beneficial
  04:10 Meredith’s “low-reward masking” approach
  06:30 Finding masking accommodations
  07:35 ADHD friendship struggles and friendship groups
  09:06 Understanding ADHD rejection sensitive dysphoria
  11:31 What’s happening in the brain during perceived rejection
  12:46 Emotional regulation and ADHD
  14:10 Executive functioning in ADHD women and cognitive inflexibility
  16:07 Why self-awareness matters for managing RSD
  18:33 How to deal with RSD in a relationship and improve rejection tolerance
  20:30 Lifestyle factors that increase emotional resilience

Christine Platt boldly embraces the power of less. She has written more than two dozen books, and spent more than 20 years advocating for social justice and the environment in academia, governments, non-profits and the private sector. After writing The Afrominimalist’s Guide to Living with Less,she became widely known as the Afro-minimalist, a black woman who started a movement. In the book, she radically revisions minimalism, integrating it with history and heritage.

In this episode, Christine Platt explores how rejection can lead us to tell self-limiting stories about ourselves. By reframing these rejection stories, we can open up opportunities for personal transformation. She reflects on the development of self-awareness and resilience, and highlights the role of self-talk, and language in letting go of limiting beliefs. She describes the discomfort of learning to “be” instead of constantly “doing” which had led her to a state of overwhelm.  She touches on the pandemic and proposes that we are still going through an unspoken cycle of collective grief - that needs attention.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Christine Platt and Her Journey

01:00 The Gift of Parental Support and Career Freedom

03:04 Transitioning from Doing to Being

06:09 Navigating Uncertainty and Life Cycles

10:04 Rejection Stories and Their Impact

12:01 The Power of Reframing Rejection

17:53 Finding Meaning in Lowest Lows and Highest Highs

33:03 Understanding Rejection Stories

38:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery

42:17 The Importance of Introspection

45:53 Navigating Collective Grief

56:30 Building Community and Connection

Resources and Links:

Her new book “Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom from a Life of Overwhelm” will be released in October 2025 and you can pre-order here: https://www.amazon.com/Less-Liberation-Finding-Freedom-Overwhelm/dp/153875830X

Instagram: @iamchristineplatt

Subscribe to Christine’s Substack: https://christineplatt.substack.com/

To find out more about Christine Platt visit: https://www.iamchristineplatt.com/

This episode is personal, vulnerable, and messy — for a reason.

Alice reflects on the fear of saying the wrong thing, the rejection that often follows speaking up, and what happened when influencer Jenna Kutcher finally broke her silence on Palestine.

This is a conversation about rejection, shame, activism, and the paralysis of perfectionism in the age of public scrutiny.

Chapters:

00:00 Opening — fear, paralysis, and why this episode feels scary
01:23 Jenna Kutcher’s post on Gaza
03:00 Background information on Palestine
04:40 Silence after October 7 and influencer inaction
06:32 Why some people don’t speak up
08:40 The impossible expectations around speaking out
10:50 The science of rejection and how it relates to activism
12:36 Self-affirmation theory and how it helps us take action
14:03 Personal reflection on sharing imperfect thoughts
15:42 Final thoughts — rejection, risk, and showing up anyway

Resources & Mentions:

Jenna Kutcher’s Instagram post:
https://www.instagram.com/p/DMmA5sbOYG5/?igsh=MTRyOTBpZnR3eHFndw==

Alice’s interview with Sarah Rice on This Changes Everything:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/learning-to-reject-rejection/id1640548625?i=1000708545091

Scientific American: Study on why rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-we-are-wired-to-connect/

APA article on self-affirmation theory:
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-19538-004

Your loneliness isn't weakness, it's love without a home.

In this raw and reflective episode, writer and mindset coach Katie Horwitch joins Alice to explore the emotional roots of identity, self-talk, loneliness, and healing. Katie shares her journey from childhood eating disorders to building a platform that helps others shift their inner narratives—without sugarcoating the messiness of that process.

Together, they dive into the stories we tell ourselves when we’re rejected, the parts of us we learn to perform, and why so many high-functioning people are secretly lonely.

You’ll hear:

• Why Katie says “loneliness is love with nowhere to go”

• How eating disorders were a way to create control and connection

• The cost of being the “good girl” in every room

• Why self-love isn’t the same as self-like

• What happens when recognition doesn't feel like belonging

• How to break fluency in negative self-talk—and learn a new emotional language

This episode is a compassionate and cutting look at how we reject ourselves before anyone else can—and what it takes to stop.

Chapters:

00:50 Intro
03:02 When Katie realized her dream no longer fit
07:44 How eating disorders became a survival strategy
10:55 Performing perfection and the cost of control
14:20 “I was fluent in shame”
16:12 Loneliness as a side effect of masking
18:49 Rebuilding identity after letting go of the stage
23:03 Self-talk as a learned language
26:57 What happens when we stop performing healing
30:14 Why recognition felt hollow without real connection
34:30 Holding high standards and self-compassion
38:08 Katie’s approach to rebuilding community and belonging
42:10 Where to find Katie and her work

Resources & Links:

• Katie’s book: Want Yourself

• Website: katiehorwitch.com

• Follow Katie on Instagram: @katiehorwitch

Heartbreak doesn’t just feel like withdrawal. It is withdrawal.

In this short, powerful replay, psychologist and author Guy Winch explains why breakups hurt so much and why trying to “stay friends” with your ex might be sabotaging your recovery.

He breaks down the neuroscience of heartbreak, compares it to addiction, and shares why going cold turkey - unfollowing, muting, and cutting contact - isn’t dramatic. It’s necessary.

You’ll hear:

• Why heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain

• The science behind why you’re obsessively thinking about your ex

• How heartbreak mimics the brain patterns of drug withdrawal

• Why unfollowing your ex is a psychological intervention, not a petty move

• What to do instead of re-reading old messages or checking their feed

This is a must-listen if you, or someone you love, can’t stop going back to the ghost of a relationship.

Resources & Mentions:

• Guy Winch’s TED Talk: How to Fix a Broken Heart, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM&pp=0gcJCfwAo7VqN5tD

• Book: How to Fix a Broken Heart, https://www.amazon.com/How-Fix-Broken-Heart-Books/dp/1501120123

• Podcast: Dear Therapists, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696

• Website: guywinch.com

What if every tiny criticism (real or imagined) felt like a full-body betrayal?

In this validating and deeply personal episode, ADHD educator and author Jesse J. Anderson joins Alice to unpack what rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) really feels like, and how it’s shaped his relationships, self-perception, and emotional responses.

Jesse shares how RSD used to hijack his nervous system, leading to blow-ups in conversations with his wife and shame spirals that lasted for days. But over time, he’s learned to pause, name what’s happening, and create space for a different response.

You’ll hear:

• How RSD distorts emotional cues and triggers emotional overwhelm

• Why Jesse used to “blow up” and what he does differently now

• The therapist phrase that helped him access logic in the middle of a spiral

• What happens when ADHDers interpret normal conflict as deep rejection

• Why emotional regulation looks different for ADHD brains, and why it matters

• How Jesse’s layoff pushed him to lean on community instead of hiding

This episode is a must-listen for anyone with ADHD—or anyone who loves someone with it.

Chapters:

00:50 Intro
02:21 Jesse on being the “bad kid” with undiagnosed ADHD
05:33 What rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) actually feels like
10:10 The therapist phrase that changed everything
13:55 ADHD and marriage: how Jesse nearly blew it
17:42 Learning to pause before blowing up
21:05 Jesse’s “hand over mouth” moment
23:18 Getting laid off and going public
26:50 The healing power of community
31:45 Why ADHD friendships often fall apart
35:22 Jesse’s app idea for remembering friends
38:10 Grieving the ADHD kid you were
41:03 How Jesse shows up differently now
45:12 Where to find Jesse and his work

Resources & Links:

Jesse's book, Extra Focus: https://www.amazon.com/Extra-Focus-Quick-Start-Guide/dp/B0CGKL5FGF

Follow Jesse on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdjesse/

Follow Jesse's Substack: https://substack.com/@adhdjesse

Why do we still fear being left out, even in safe, loving friendships?

In this solo episode, Alice opens up about a vivid dream that left her in tears and the deeper fears it uncovered. Despite being a grown adult with supportive relationships, her subconscious still clings to the belief that one day, the people she loves might just… stop loving her.

This episode dives into the science behind social rejection, the wounds we carry from childhood friendship dynamics, and what rejection-sensitive dysphoria looks like in everyday life (yes, even in dreams). With warmth, insight, and zero toxic positivity, Alice shares how she copes when the fear of being unwanted comes roaring back.

You’ll hear:

• Why our brains process rejection like physical pain

• The childhood friendship that left a mark—and still shows up in dreams

• How rejection-sensitive dysphoria impacts friendships and self-trust

• Why “rejection = redirection” isn’t always helpful

• Practical ways to cope with perceived rejection without spiraling

• Why diversifying your identity makes rejection hurt less

This one’s for anyone who’s ever walked away from a group hang wondering, “Did I say something wrong?” or reread a text thread five times to confirm they weren’t being iced out.

Chapters:

00:50 The dream that triggered this episode
03:12 Why safe friendships still feel unsafe sometimes
06:40 The science of rejection and why it physically hurts
10:45 Childhood friendship wounds and feeling ousted
15:05 Why I still carry those fears into adulthood
17:00 Lessons from Sarah Rice on dealing with mass rejection
20:22 How to cope when social media amplifies rejection
23:05 You don’t need to find the lesson right away
25:19 Feeling grief and gratitude at the same time
28:14 Why nuance matters: people aren't all good or all bad
31:08 Diversifying your identity to soften the sting
34:35 Reflections on nine months of podcasting
36:45 A thank you, and what's next for the show

Resources:

Cyberball study on social rejection (a meta-analysis)

My Rejection Story Interview with Whitney Goodman on Toxic Positivity

Alice Draper's Interview on Sarah Rice's Podcast "This Changes Everything"

Email Alice: [email protected]