Join me for a behind the scenes look at my private bedtime medication routine, in which I fight through intrusive thoughts and fears before falling asleep. For me it's a battle with Seroquel and the strange paradox where it stirs up my mind before putting me to sleep.

I talk through what insomnia means for mania risk, why psychosis feels closer in the dark, and how intrusive, even spiritual, panic can crash in before sedation takes hold. We get practical about my 9:15 wind-down, how to read early signs that a backup will be needed, and what the morning after costs in focus, mood, and energy. You’ll hear the honest math of “best available” choices: antihistamines that fog the next day, benzodiazepines that demand caution, and Seroquel, an antipsychotic that delivers sleep but can open the door to racing, violent thoughts on the way there.

If you’ve ever faced the 3 AM question of how long you can keep doing this, you’ll find language and tools for that hour, and a reminder that morning usually brings a different view.

If this resonates, share the episode with someone who needs it, subscribe for more real talk on living with bipolar disorder, and leave a review with your own sleep strategies so others can learn from you.

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping