My Very Last Life

By "Cynicism" I mean Truth," and by "Sincerity" I mean "Truth." Two different things.

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You look for substance in life and what do you get? Style. Trendiness. A poor substitute, a Kaugummi popcorn milkshake mascara pink crappy substitute for something real.

 

On Substance and Style (Actually Trendiness) – My Very Last Life #15

A confused mess of cats and metaphors

This started out as „My Journey from Cynicism to Sincerity“ but then I got tangled up in cat metaphors and never got out – now I don’t know what it was really all about – listen at your own risk.

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A writer must see the world and reduce it to a parable. Then he must find a way to write about the parable. Lucifer and free will, the Germans and the vote to abolish democracy, lot of incoherent ramblings on a Sunday evening after a good steak and fries and with a glass of whiskey at the ready. 

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Remember that time in church on a hot Sunday in Kailua, Hawaii, and you scribbled in your journal or on a notepad or in the margins of a paperback that the emotions you are feeling now - teenage emotions - are the only real thing you will ever feel? Stay true to that boy you were.

Am I the only one who thinks of Dickens and Marx as hero/anti-hero, two sides of the same coin? It seems natural to me - they were both of the same time, but such different cloth. Dickens seems so humane, Marx seems so … German …

 

My rant on Dickens vs. Marx. 

When I turned 60 I resolved to live my last good 20 years as if they were the first twenty, but knowing more than I did then. This is my journal of that journey.

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Here I sit on a Sunday evening, I made myself a steak and fries, I fed the cats, I have a whiskey with lots of ice and water and I'm thinking about what it means that Trump was sitting there waiting to see what would happen as a couple of hundred idiots stormed the capitol.

Similar things happened here in Germany and it wasn't that long ago and they too got nowhere near a successful coup. It was just stupidity. But – without wanting to, Trump gave me something I am, grateful for. I always wanted to see the future and now, thanks to him, I do. 

When I turned 60 I resolved to live my last good 20 years as if they were the first twenty, but knowing more than I did then. This is my journal of that journey.

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On New Years Eve, not long before midnight, Astrid said to me the most beautiful thing I think I ever heard.

And: New Year's Resolutions, but not really resolutions, more like work-arounds.

When I turned 60 I resolved to live my last good 20 years as if they were the first twenty, but knowing more than I did then. This is my journal of that journey.

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Just Drunk Eric rambing on about the end of the year ...

Trading in the horrible year 2020 for just about anything, really anything better in 2021 …

and yet, I refuse to let 2020 go without wringing something good out if it. So here's me trying to go that. *this was recorded a few days ago - I held it up for New Year's.)

But to get the New Years part, you have to go through another bout of winging and whining about my dead friend. 

Wishing all of you all the best in the New Year - good luck and Guten Rutsch!

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Still thinking of Claus, dead a week now - warm-hearted but arrogant and selfish, funny and honest but ... well arrogant. But there is a thing I want to learn from him, carry around inside me in his absence. My Very Last Life - my unedited thoughts about my life at and after 60 and making something out of it I could never have done earlier.