Episode Summary
In this practical exploration of navigating conflicting truths, Ruth illuminates why disagreements escalate and how to transform them into opportunities for genuine understanding. Rather than focusing on being right or avoiding conflict altogether, she offers a nuanced approach to honoring your perspective while creating space for others'. Through concrete examples and actionable language patterns, listeners will learn to differentiate between subjective and objective truths, welcome diverse perspectives, and find middle ground without sacrificing their values. This episode provides essential tools for maintaining relationships and moving forward constructively even when fundamental differences emerge.
In This Episode:
Introduction: The problem with conflicting truthsCommon misconception: Agreement vs. clarity as the goalWhat's really happening: Subjective truths being treated as objective factsPractical shift: How to state your truth while making room for others'Integration exercise and closing thoughtsThe Problem: When Your Truth Collides With Someone Else's
What many professionals experience is the friction that arises when we realize our perspective drastically differs from someone else's. These moments of misalignment can quickly escalate from slight disagreements to full-blown conflicts, especially around topics we care deeply about.
The conventional wisdom suggests that we have two options: either convince the other person we're right, or submit to their perspective to keep the peace. Both approaches typically leave us feeling either combative or compromised.
But this approach often leaves us feeling dissatisfied and frustrated because it treats differences as problems to be solved rather than inevitable aspects of human diversity. We end up either avoiding important conversations or engaging in them in ways that damage relationships.
The Myth: You Must Choose Between Your Truth and Harmony
Myth: When your truth conflicts with someone else's, someone must be wrong, and someone must give in.
This myth persists because we've been conditioned to treat all truths as objective facts rather than recognizing that many important truths are subjective experiences, opinions, preferences, and perspectives.
The real cost of believing this myth is that we approach conversations as battles to be won rather than explorations to be shared. We focus on proving our point instead of understanding different viewpoints, which prevents meaningful connection and progress.
What's Really Happening: The Confusion of Subjective and Objective Truth
What I've discovered through facilitating difficult conversations is that most conflicts arise not because people disagree about objective facts, but because they're treating subjective truths as universal.
When someone says "This is the best choice" or "This is what everyone wants," they're presenting their subjective experience as objective reality. This creates immediate resistance because it invalidates others' equally valid perspectives.
This connects to our deep human need to be seen and validated. When someone presents their opinion as universal truth, it can feel like they're erasing our experience and right to a different viewpoint. Our natural response is to defend our perspective, often by doing the same thing—presenting our subjective tru
