Mythology Translated Second Edition

I get the giggles this episode as we cover Iole, Omphale and an assortment of murders that means Herakles in the area.  Herakles finds he is at a low ebb of his popularity, which might have something to do with all the random murder and conquering he has been up too. He kills a guest and ends up a slave.

Reason we are explicit: Murder, Butts, Murder,Unlawful Intercourse, More Murder, Tripod Wrestling, FFS Stop Murdering People, and A Fine And Awesome Display of Hypocrisy.

Next year I might try to track down some sufficiently pompous music.

We are covering Apollo getting a friend, the Alcestis incident, which shockingly doesn’t involved Herakles shaking up with someone. The Sacking of Elis because Herakles can hold a grudge, The Molionoidai who I had never heard of but now rank high on my awesome scale, and the death of two random guys.

Reason we are Explicit: Apollo Being Nice, Wedding Bed Surprise, Intoxication, Herakles Helping, Siamese Twins, Sheer Stupidity

We finish up the labors with the descent into the underworld to take Cerberus for a walk.  We will meet one of the priests of the Eleusinian mysteries, run into Theseus and his friend Pirithous, watch as Hades get shot and Herakles opens up a traveling side show.

Reasons we are explicit: Animal Cruelty, A Basis For Little Shop Of Horrors, Thrace, Rough Housing, Underworld Shenanigans and Mystery Cults.

The Cattle of Geryones and The Apples of the Hesperides are on the docket for today.  We follow Herakles as he either threatens his way into a boat or conquered Iberia, fathers either the Scythians OR the Keltoi or maybe both, proves to be a rocking cowboy, tries to be liberated.  We also learn a bit about how the greeks thought geography worked, watch a certain amount of dickishness happen, meet two new dragons, and then there are the side quest.

It’s a pretty long episode.

Reasons we are Explicit: Sex, Murder, Cussing, Rome, Whoring, The Very Odd Greek Obsession With All Foreigners Killing Random People, Speed Boats, Geography, and General Narrative Confusion

Herakles is going after the Belt of Hippolyte and murdering up the place on the way there, while there and on the way back.  What I am getting at is a ton of murders.  We will also discuss the Amazons and the First Trojan War.

Reasons we are explicit: Seriously! SO MUCH MURDER! Breast Mutilation,  Corpse Desecration, Reneging Of Payment (Twice, Because It Worked SO Well The First Time),  Gods Deciding Herakles Is Too Hard Core,  Sea Monsters, A Perseus Plot, And A Rash Of Sensible Thinking.

The second round of labors, The Augean stables, The Stymphalian Birds, The Cretan Bull and the Mares of Diomedes.  There is only one sidequest of centaur killing, but I promise we will be getting more of that in a bit.

Reasons we are explicit: Thrace, Beeps, Clever Birds, Bullshit, Pasiphae, The Theory That Human Flesh Causes Fire Breathing and Men Named Diomedes WAY More Interesting Than The One We Cover.

We are back from our move! This week we are covering the first 4 of the 12 labors.  The Nemean Lion, The Lernaean Hydra, The Cerynitian Hind, and The Erymanthian Boar. We will also discover Zeus apparently has some standards towards things he wont sex up, Kill off Chiron and try to figure out why in the world would Prometheus need extra immortality?

Reasons we are explict: Crabs, Death, Death, Death, Wine, Death, A Bad Translation Somewhere, An Arrow To The Knee, An Attempt at Nepotism,  and Random Reindeer

Alcaeus as a youth and the shenanigans and occasional murder he gets up too. Though to be fair, one of them is just a straight horrifying mutilation and there is a hint of an orgy as well.  We will cover up to the death of his First Wife and the bestowing of his most famous name upon him.

Reasons we are explicit: Attempted Baby Murder, Surprise Nursing, Daughter Pimping, Fiery Deaths, Jingoism, and SEVEN DAMNED DAYS OF LABOR.

The Start of Herakles. We will be going over Alcmenes’ entire family being slaughtered, the invention of the Lysistrata Gambit, and a cameo by our friend Tiresias.

Reasons we are Explicit: Zeus In A Lab Coat, Soreness, Lysistrata Gambit, and Killing with Sticks.

References:

Episode 39 (Sthenelus)