Mythology Translated Second Edition

Comic: How Midas Chose His Barber.

In this episode we are covering the story of Marsyas and how it can be told as either Hubris on Marsyas part or general Godly Excess depending on how you want to play it. we will also be talking about  Satyrs vs Seilenos, Apollo being a bad winner, a really bad winner,  Athena being vain,  Ganymedes abduction, King Midas  and a unasked for peep show.

Featuring The Introduction Of: Midas, The Double Flute, Marsyas, Phrygia, Seilenos, Pactolus, Silenus, Ganymede, Troy,

The Story of Marsyas who was into flutes, The several stage story of Midas who can’t seem to get on the right side of any god, The kidnapping of Ganymede and why he was made cup-bearer.

Reasons We are explicit: Skinning someone alive and a description of it to boot! Lots of drunkenness all around, Donkey Ears,  creation of Fezes, Surprise Eagles in a two separate and entirely non related ways, Intellectual Snobbery and the suggestion that at the bottom of all civilization conflicts is really just an argument over Reed or Stringed instruments.

Comic: Apollo hitting on a tree. (Yes that is our main page image of him!)

In the last of information overflow from Nymphs we cover Apollo’s sex life. Pretty boys, Pretty girls, a complete inability to co-exist with Zephyrus, apparently a willingness to tag team with Hermes and we get our first canonical gay guy, so I guess everything before this was just practice.

Featuring the Introduction of: Hyacinthus, Thamyris, Cyparissus, Cyrene, Melia, Bolina, Okyrhoe.

Reasons we are Explicit: I normally make up some fun stuff here, but in all seriousness the rape of Okyrhoe is pretty bad, or at the very least it bothered me.

Comic: A Farmer planning for his horses next foal.

This week we continue our nymph induced tangent as we look at the Winds and their disturbing fascination with horses, A rather kick-ass weather vane, The varying options of Aeolus, The Harpies who have a legit job, and The Sirens who have a rather tragic backstory. Also we will continue our Public Awareness Campaign on the evils of pretty meadows.

Featuring the introduction of: The Anemoi, Anemoi Thuellai, Aeolus, Boreas, Notus, Zephyr, Eurus, Andonicus Cyrrhestes, Kaikias, Apeliotes, Lips, Skiron, Argestes, Orithyia, Hyperborea, Podarge, Celeano, Xanthus, Balius, Pothos, Khloris, Karpos, Oppian, Aello, Ocypete, Aellopos, Nicothoe, Acholoe, Podarce, Ocythoe, Ocypode, Pandareus, Melpomene, Terpsichore, Thelxiespeia, Peisinoe, Aglaope, Molpe, Aglaphonos, Ligeia, Parthenope and Leukoesia.

Reasons we are explicit: So Much Bestiality, Genealogy, Murder, Kidnapping, Actual History, Thrace, Disfigurement (a couple of times), Pretty Flowered Meadows.

Comic: How nymphs are more commonly seen.

We are looking at famous nymphs and some obscure ones. We are covering the creation of Pan Pipes, Why laurel wreaths and Pine wreaths are sacred, at least two of the many ways stupidity can get you killed, and wanton transformations.

Featuring The Introduction of: Syrinx, Daphne, Echo, Khonie, Ladon, Leukippos, Pitys, Narcissus, Longus, Daphnis and Chloe, Ameinias, Nemesis, Minthe, Oppian, Clytie, Leucthoe, Dryope, and Amphissos

The stories of The creation of the Pan flute, why laurels are sacred to Apollo, Eros being Pissy at Apollo, Echo falling in love, Then the multiple choice options for Narcissus. The Transformation of three nymphs into flowers.

Reason we are explicit, Mutilated Nymph Hats, Corpse Desecration, Way Too Much Running, Meadows, Suicide, Rape, High School Drama, Ovid and Blatant Plugging.

Comic:  Our Protagonists having a well deserved drink.

In a shorter episode this week, we introduce Pan, Chiron and tell the story of Arachne.  That Pan apparently needs medication and should be the patron saint of Emo if not, Chiron’s conception and astonishingly being a decent person, and Arachne’s tale of being too good to be tolerated.

Featuring The Introduction of Arachne, Philyra, Penelope, Chariclo, Thoth,

The Story Of Pan’s circus like childhood and Trauma, Chiron’s odd and also traumatic conception, and the tiniest glimpse of satire which gets viciously and roundly squashed.

Reason we are explicit: Bestiality, Surprise Bestiality,  Athena Being A [redacted], The General Existence of Spiders, Unwilling Historical Theology, Daycare and Romans.

Comic: Helios Excepting his title, with Selene being indignant and Eos not paying attention.

We are covering Helios, Eos, and Selene this week.  Helios has a bit of kid trouble which leads to toasty humans, Eos apparently has a sex dungeon and Selene confuses unconsciousness with consent.

Featuring The Introduction Of: Phaethon, Ovid, Clymene, Prote, Rhode, Merops, Po River, Four Winds, Tithonus, Memnon, Priam, Grasshoppers, Cephalos (Eos), Ganymede, Orion, Cletius, Procris, Pteleon, Endymion, Iatmos, Rhodes, The Colossus, Cubits, Ra, Perseis, Aeetes, Medea, Circe, Pasiphae,

The Stories Of Helios’ son Phaethon and why people are different colours. The Story of Tithonis, The Story of Procris, and the story of Endymion

Reasons we are Explicit: Swearing by Styx, Kidnapping, Ravishing, Creating Races, Procris, Date Rape, Wanton Horsing Around, Plato, Witchcraft in passing and Making Zeus Look Reasonable.

Comic: Someone Eating a Pomegranate seed.

We are covering the most famous myth in Greek Mythology, the abduction of Persephone by Hades. We will be covering the two main separate versions of this story, why the fact there are two version is important and maybe alter your perception of some of the gods. Also, I go in to full rant mode there towards the end.

Featuring the Introduction of Persephone, Kore, Triptolemus, Agriculture, Hecate, Celeus, Themephoria, Burning Out Mortality, Demophon, Metaneira, Stress Eating, Hel, Niflheim, and Hades As Devil Analogue.

The Story Of Persephone as normally told and the older variation of The Story of Demeter.

Reasons we are explicit: Child Murder, Mild Language, Meadows, Ranting, but surprisingly no explicit Rape or  Dirty Philosophy. Mild amount of Theology though.

Comic: A Representation of a bust that is theoretically Euripides.

Today we are tackling Euripides and Theater also that philosophy will get you killed.  We spend a bit of time tracking down how we got the Euripides we have and discussing the changes he brought to theater and myths.

Featuring The Introduction of Drama, Athenian Playwrights, Aristophanes, Taxes, Award Snubbing, Ionian, Menander,

The Reason we are explicit: Philosophy, Manuscript Tradition, Flaming Heterosexuality, Aristotle and Nietzsche.

Comic: Dionysus acquiring the throne from Hestia

This week we cover the rise to power of our last Olympian Dionysus.  His very vague young adulthood, his seeming gift for making other people crazy and a minor discussion on Elves, Satyrs and Maenads in relation to Bad Ass Decay. Also a Theory that Dionysus committed Jihad before it was cool.

Featuring The Introduction Of Nysa, Wine, Greek Jihad, Lykourgos (Edonia), Pentheus, The Bacchants, Meanads, Thrysos, Satyrs, Centaurs and Minoan Crete,

The Continuing Story of Semele and Dionysus. Dionysus Idyllic Boyhood, His Prophethood, The Pirates who kidnap him. We Cover the myth that is the basis of The Play the Bacchae, His Ascension into Olympus, and The First official Sex Toy.

Reasons we are Explicit: Sex Toys, Drug Use, Rape, Murder, Mind Rape, General Mayhem and Mystery Cults

Comic: Reaction of Cadmus The Awesome and Harmonia getting the news of what their kids were up to.

This week we go into the children of Cadmus The Awesome, Polydorus, Autonoe, Ino and Semele. We learn about why Peeping never ends well, That Step-kids must be destroyed at all cost (for some reason) and that Zeus might, Just might, have a heart.

Featuring the Introduction Of: Aristaeus, Cyrene, Chiron, Bee Keeping, Proteus In Chains (seems Specific but happens often), Actaeon, Leucothea, Athamas, Nephele, Phrixus, Helle, Crios Chrysomallos, Melicertes, Themisto, Thyone,  Swearing by The Rive Styx, amd Colchis.

The Continuing Story Of The Line of Cadmus The Awesome, The mostly overlooked fact that two of his daughters marry gods and two become gods, The Story Of Cyrene, How Aristaeus learned to keep bees, The story of Actaeon, How the Golden Fleece got over to Colchis, Why you should never kill someone over a fashion choice, the Story of Semele

Reasons we are Explicit: Child Murder (both attempted and pulled off), Polygamy, Apotheosis, Swearing by Styx, and most disturbing of all, sympathizing with Zeus.