Mythology Translated Second Edition

Comic: Cadmus The Awesome acquiring dragon’s teeth.

We are going over the awesomeness of Cadmus, the nigh-immortality of Tiresias and contemplating Dragons.

Featuring The Introduction: Thebes, Spartoi, Polydorus, Autonoe, Ino, Semele, Agave, The Necklace of Harmonia, Literacy, Tiresias, Canes, Snake Based Gender Swapping, Narcissus,

The Continuing Story Of Europa and Her Brother, The Founding of Thebes,  The Marriage of Cadmus The Awesome and the Stories of the Blind Seer Tiresias

Reason we are explicit: Prophecy, Cows, Mook Death, Dragons, Surprise Attacks by Teeth Men, Divine “Helping”. Becoming What You Kill, Naked Athena, Gender Fluidity, Phoenicians

Comic: The One Surviving Danaid

This week we are covering the three great punishments in Greek myth. And one that should be a great punishment, but somehow never makes the cut.

Featuring The Introduction Of Ixion, Lapith, Centaurs, Philostratus, Pelops, Atredes, Corinth, Sisphyus, The Fates, Charon, Aegyptus, Amymone, Danae, and Odysseus

The Stories of Ixion who Murders his Father-In-Law which was totally fine and then proceeded to lie about a one night stand which was not.  Tantalus who mildly miscalculated in his earnest attempt to appease the gods.  Sisyphus who Paid Attention and got nothing but trouble for it. And The Danaids who followed orders and got the short end of the stick for it.

The Reasons for Explicit: Godly NDAs, Rape, Cloud Babies, Nasty Murders, Human Sacrifice, Cannibalism, Chaining Death To A Post, Ares Being Useful, Dishonorable Burial Practices, and Cleverness.

Comic: Europas’ Passage to Crete

A small amusing breather episode this week, detailing Zeus’s attentions towards Kallisto, Niobe and Europa.

Featuring The Introduction Of: Kallisto (Of Arcadia), Niobe (of Teledike), Argus, Pelasgus, Europa, Minos, Sarpedon, Rhadamanthys, The Astronomy Fragments, Pausanias, Ehoai (Catalogue Of Women), And Asterion.

The Story Of Kallisto and Arkas, Zeus Starting to Sex up Mortal Women as Well as Nymphs, And the Kidnapping of Europa.

Reasons we are explicit: Sex, Plato, Sex, Thrace, Lesbian Sex in theory, cuckolding and the valiant hunt for a word for Zeus’s interest in women that isn’t just calling him a rapist every time.

Comic: A Gift From The Gods

This week we are looking at Pandora and The Great Deluge or Deucalion’s flood. There is discussion on the two very different ways the Pandora story can be told and a mention of slavery (more in the Greek sense).

Featuring the Introduction of Utnapishtim, Gilgamesh, Pyrrha, Thessaly, Dardanos, Kerambos, Megaros, Arkas, Nyktimos, Parnassos, Erichthonius (Baby In A Box), Erasmus Of Rotterdam, Eve

The Story of Zeus Retaliation on the Sons of Iapetus, Zeus’ Irritation at Humans for Existing, The Flood that apparently had many survivors and Athena’s The Baby In A Box.

Reasons we  are Explicit: Mild Profanity, Attempted Rape, Bodily Fluids, Theoretical Corpse Desecration, Nietzsche and Rampant Philosophy.

Comic: Aphrodites’ Enthronement on Olympus

This week we are doing a bit of mythological clean up before our next world shattering event. Those seem to pop up with surprising regularity. Covered today are Apollo and Python, the varied marriages of Aphrodite, and three first kings.

Featuring the Introduction of Pythia, Eros (Not Titan), Harmonia, The Daniads, Kekrops, Argos, Athens, Acropolis, Lycanon, Ixion, Tantalus and Sisyphus.

The Stories Of Apollo Claiming Delphi, Aphrodite becoming an Olympian and getting settled in And Lycanon’s Very Bad, Horrible, No Good Blaspheme.

Reason we are Explicit: Animal Cruelty, Prophecy, Throne Entrapment, Penis Pregnancy, Nyxian Birth, Ares Having a Redeeming Feature, God Scamming and Child Murder.

Comic: Ares

Gaia has been carefully collecting her pawns and setting up the board. She has sprung a surprise war on the Olympians. In this episode we cover the three main stages of the Gigantomache. An actually serious warning, There is Rape, two depending on how you count it, and some serious Serial Killer behavior going on.

Featuring the Introduction and prompt Deaths of: Typhon, Eurmedon (Giant), Aloadae, Alcyoneus, Clytius, Mimas, Ephilates, Otus,

Continuing the Story Of Gaias’ pissyness otherwise known as the Gigantomache. The Defeat of the Race of Giants, The Defeat of Otus and Ephilates, The Defeat of Typhon, and Gaia’s Less than good natured giving up.

Reason We are Explicit: Gaia “Vexed”, Legit War Crimes, Rape, Edgar Suits, Prophecy and The Gods fleeing For their lives

Comic: Io as a Calf (I couldn’t come up with anything better)

Io is our topic for today, our first totally encapsulated myth.  A friendly warning to all those who love ancient Egyptian myth out there, get ready to get irritated.

Featuring the Introduction of: Io, Inachos, Argos, Egypt, Pharaoh, Danaus of Argos, Epahos, Isis, Apis, Horus, Perseus and Medusa.

The Story of Zeus’ first non-Relative affair, the transformation of Io, The Death of Argos and The Trial of Hermes

Reasons we are Explicit: Zeus Attempting Innocence, Boring To Death, Smugness, Synchretism

Comic: Hesiod Writing

This episode deals with the biography of Hesiod and The Works and Days.  Be warned there might be a copious amount of Thens during the recap of the poem, Snark when discussing Hesiod in general and the tone of the poem in particular and more than the usual bit of cussing though it is all pretty tame.

Reasons we are explicit: Oracles Are Bastards, Nietzsche, Hesiod (This episode explains why he is explicit) Misogyny, And Condescension.

Comic: Prometheus acquires fire

The Humans are coming! We discuss the two main stories of how humans came to be, one that seems to be mostly a “going to hell in a hand basket” rant and the other which ends with Prometheus making friends with an eagle.

Featuring The Introduction of Deucalion, The Isle Of The Blessed, Aseop, Aeschylus

The Continuing Story of Prometheus with a tangent into The Ages of Man.

Reason We are Explicit: Hesiod, Blaspheming, Cleverness, Rocks, Liver Eating

Comic: The legit mythological scene of a teen aged Apollo chasing after an infant Hermes.

Zeus gets his freak on and fathers three more kids in this episode. Apollo and Hermes get off on the wrong foot, and a bit of slightly disappointing research nets us a workable list of the primary gods going forwards.

Featuring The Introduction Of: Python, Delphi, Delos, Pleiades, Mt. Cyllene, Sacrificing To The Gods, The Lyre, The Caduceus, Cadmus The Awesome, Herakles, Aesculapius, And Alpheus

The Continuing Story Of Zeus getting around, The Birth of Apollo and Artemis, The Birth of Hermes, Apollo and Hermes irritating each other as only brothers can.

Reasons We are Explicit: Lack Of Napping, Dragons, Long Labor, Bribery, and Infant Shenanigans