This week, Naoness, talks about the ever-frailty of life and time, which makes the Nao/Now ever more important.  As always, we touch upon a span of topics from light & darkness, follow-up to student protests to more than we imagined (but not surprising) talk about Holiday cookies and our nostalgic childhood experiences in Tokyo.  

Content warning: This episode explores the history of Thanksgiving and a student-led protest demanding accountability on how the school responds to reports of sexual assault.

Naoness would like to honor and center Native & Indigenous People's communities and their stories to disrupt the Thanksgiving Tale and myth of mainstream American narrative of the Thanksgiving holiday with Truthsgiving—we acknowledge and honor the traditional territories of the Ramaytush and Coast Talish peoples we reside, respectively. "Native Americans have gathered annually on Thanksgiving Day since 1970 to commemorate a National Day of Mourning. The day is a time to remember and reflect on the genocide and mistreatment of millions of Native Americans, to honor ancestors, to recognize the ongoing struggles of Native Americans, and to come together as a people" (from National Geographic link below). This erasure must be recognized for a more honest and equitable understanding of our collective American history to stand united. We choose to rejoice and focus on our shared values of truth, family, generosity, and gratitude.

We pivot in the moment of Naoness, Naoko talks about the peaceful student-led protest demanding administrators to do a better job of providing support to sexual assault survivors. The school officials called the police and put the school in lockdown during this rally on November 19. We see these power dynamics and systemic inequities exposed to the surface, resulting in the continued harm of the underrepresented when institutions react first and foremost to control and maintain power over the students. We strongly believe an academic institution's core mission is to serve and protect its students; thus, their core value must be centered on the students' physical and psychological safety for their learning and well-being. We do not have answers but we are to help support and fight for a more equitable environment for our children. The conversation starts now.

Truthsgiving: The Truth Will Not be Whitewashed - Resources

What is Thanksgiving to Indigenous people? 'A day of mourning'

The Thanksgiving Tale We Tell Is a Harmful Lie. As a Native American, I’ve Found a Better Way to Celebrate the Holiday

Recognizing Native American Perspectives: Thanksgiving and the National Day of Mourning

Thanksgiving Promotes Whitewashed History, So I Organized Truthsgiving Instead

Students walk out of class, protest school leaders in Bellevue

Student Voices: Racism in the Bellevue School District has thrived for too long

Content warning: This episode explores mental health and the stigma associated with mental health issues in the AAPI community.

According to the World Health Organization, health is "a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease and infirmity." Naoness supports this definition with the emphasis that mind, body, spirt & soul requires a holistic approach to health and wellness. COVID-19 pandemic has exacerbated mental health. Mental health conditions do not discriminate based on gender, race, or belief systems. There are systemic barriers and inequities in access to mental health care and quality treatment in varying degrees based on the cultural norms for our global listeners. We share our personal stories of seeking help to encourage our listeners to start having healthy conversations and fight against the stigma associated with mental health issues, especially in our AAPI community with the lowest help-seeking rate of any racial/ethnic group in the United States. We are in this together!

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264); Identity & Cultural Dimensions for Asian American and Pacific Islander

Mental Health America: Asian American/Pacific Islander Communities And Mental Health

The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life by Edith Eger

How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen

Logic - 1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara, Khalid (official video)

We don't have to be the first ones to tell you that parenting is one of the most difficult jobs. Naoko shares her recent parenting mishap, while being aware of guilt and shame's storylines. As a parent, identifying reactive behaviors in the moment and understanding our triggers is a lifetime journey. We explore tools that are available to us to disrupt our engraved patterns: to be present and mindful, returning to the breath, or nowness—a recurring theme and practice grounded in Naoness! We then touch upon how we define 'success' in blended families. Of course, we always end on deliciousness. The cold, wet season, at least in the Pacific Northwest, makes us yearn for warm, braised meat dishes like Japanese 'buta no kakuni.' After the mention of a Crockpot, Naoko is inspired to make corned beef and cabbage, slow-cooked for 10 hours after our recording.

We tackle the rise of public shaming through media, cyber bullying, and social media. Remember Monica Lewinsky? Well, step aside as she re-enters the public sphere to take back the power to tell her story, raising awareness of public shaming and cancel culture. What happens when you turn your mistake into your power for good? Naoko shares from Oprah's latest book, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing: “[What] happened to you was also happening for you. What happened to you can be your power.” And Brené Brown’s incredible research on vulnerability, shame, and courage. We only scratch the surface on the urgency for nuanced conversations, especially when it comes to talking about hard topics. Naoness believes in opening a conversation as the first step, an antidote to shame. Join us as we explore this rocky terrain with gentleness. And we end this episode with an open question for our listeners: In your part of the world, how do people use, or deal with, shame?

Podcast Offline: Monica Lewinsky on the Internet's Culture of Humiliation

Monica Lewinsky's 2015 TED Talk: The Price of Shame

2014 Vanity Fair Article: Shame and Survival by Monica Lewinsky

2018 Vanity Fair Article: Emerging from "The House of Gaslight" in the Age of #MeToo by Monica Lewinsky

Documentary: 15 Minutes of Shame (now streaming on HBO Max)

Brené Brown: Keeping it awkward, brave, and kind.

We have our first surprise guest to Naoness.  Listen to hear who, adding a layer of preciousness to intergenerational, impromptu conversations—an unexpected turn to explore a complex topic, religion.  Naoko x Naoko also reveal their self-compassion test results—cultivating a practice of self-compassion will be a lifelong journey.  We end on a savory note of a Japanese steamed egg dish called chawanmushi 茶碗蒸し。

For chawanmushi 茶碗蒸し recipe, visit our website.

Kristen Neff's Test how self-compassionate you are

What triggers your worst reactive moments in relationships?  Relationships with ones you love the most?  Naoko shares that when our fears are activated and our bodies feel threatened or dysregulated, our logical part of the brain (the cortex) shuts down and taken over by our more reactive parts of the brain (the brainstem). Often times, we find that our reactions are more about ourselves than whom we're addressing.  The lessons for us: learn, then let go—a practice to strengthen our compassionate, unapologetic selves. On a lighter note, what is foods we cannot live without?  Join us to hear some interesting answers.

Naoko's sharing is drawn from these two recent reads:

"The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD

"What Happened To You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing" by Bruce. D. Perry, MD, PhD, and Oprah Winfrey (watch Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey in Conversation discuss the book, here)

We're both surprised by how chewing gum (of all things!) triggers wonderful childhood memories with our Moms—lessons learned not to steal!  Enduring mother-daughter bonds. And nurturing our children's appreciation for good food and flavors.

Naoko x Naoko banter about the stark differences in our morning routines.  Clear that clogged inbox or meditate? Learn the practicality of guided meditation as Naoko S. shares a few tools for self-care and compassion.  We touch on the still very real COVID reality, especially for parents like us who have young children without access to vaccinations.  We end on the hearty note of comforting soup ideas—Ramen or Cauliflower Soup anyone?

Pema Chödrön How To Meditate (Audio); Making Friends with Your Mind/The Key to Contentment (Audiobook); Articles on Lion's Roar

Thich Nhat Hahn "Darling, I am here for you"—The Four Mantras of True Presence; Practice Resources in a Time of Uncertainty

Jon Kabat-Zinn Mindfulness (Video)

Kristin Neff Self-Compassion Guided Practices and Exercises

Naoness is wowed by Amanda Gorman.  Her vision of a rebuilt America without division is hopeful and energizing.  Amanda's creative medium is poetry as is Naoko's.  Listen to Naoko surprise us with a poem she wrote a decade ago that still resonates unapologetically. 

"For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it." Let us be it!

Watch: Amanda Gorman reads her inauguration poem, "The Hill We Climb"

Read: Amanda Gorman's inauguration poem, "The Hill We Climb"