Self-fulfilling prophecy is the result of our faith, our assurance of things hoped for, and evidence of things not seen, whether good or bad. Now, of course, in the Bible verse, we’re talking about good things to come, but it works both ways. We look for evidence all the time. The kids trash the house; we say, “Who did this?” We watch a crime show; what’s the evidence? We listen to a scientist talk about how the universe works and we say, “Show me some evidence of that.” In relationships, we talk about evidence all the time.
There’s a saying that pops up very often when we’re trying to prove something, and the earliest citation I can find of the current usage of the phrase, at least, is by Arthur James Balfour, the first Earl of Balfour. He said, “There are three kinds of falsehoods; lies, damned lies, and statistics.” We use statistics or evidence to tell lies, damn lies or statistics about ourselves. Attacks on ourselves are often phrased in a way that shows what we believe we are, despite our actions for good. We say, “I am…” “I’m a bad person. I have too many flaws. I’ve made too many mistakes. I have done too many things that were wrong. I have too many hidden flaws. I have too many pet sins.”
Really? Too many for what? Too many to overcome by yourself, maybe. There isn’t some state that you can reach that makes you irredeemable, and yet we believe this “irrefutable evidence” about ourselves and find more and more to stack on top of it until the burden becomes too heavy to bear. We often come to a conclusion at the end of this kind of talk that says, “If people really knew how bad I am, they would abandon me.”
Now all of this is an evidence problem and it’s an evil one. Our evidence can even exacerbate or produce depression, and it forms a vicious cycle. Dr. Allen Schwartz said, “All of us have to clear ourselves of this ‘poor me’ way of thinking. It is not helpful and not realistic. Negative thinking is contagious, because it leads to negative talk and the self-fulfilling prophecy. If you convince yourself that your life is awful, then you go about making your life awful.”
If you find the evidence of things not seen that are good, you will find happiness. You will find improved health and better immune response. You will find deeper, more fulfilling relationships. You will find more gratitude, and you will find less fear. Your entire life can be transformed by these things that we’re talking about. Focusing on all that is good and true, including what is good and true about you, becomes the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Do this every single chance you get. Treat yourself as that person you are becoming. Treat others the same way and ignore everything else. It will change your life.
I can help you with this—and help you provide some of that evidence. To get started, go to natewalkercoaching.com, and in the contact area in the comments section, tell me things you’re thinking about how I can help you. If you’d like, you can take the Habit Finder assessment linked from that same website, and you and I will schedule a time to go through it together, free of charge, and find out how I can help you best.
