This season, we have been loosely exploring “cancelation” what it means for the canceled person if it works, and how we can integrate the canceled person back into society. This week’s episode continues with that theme and is an extension of our last episode featuring canceled sexuality coach Charlie Glickman.

This episode features Mischa Byruck, a sexual integrity coach who works to support people to live their sex lives in line with their values. He specializes in supporting subjects of public callouts and cancelations and assists over three dozen men to take accountability for sexual harm and return to their lives transformed. He also leads courses and workshops on sexual integrity, kink, and consent. Mischa is also part of Charlie’s accountability team.

Mischa and I explore how we can put preventative systems in place to avoid a power dynamic that prevents people in a passive position from approaching the more powerful person with feedback or notes on unintentional abuses of power. This all starts with an awareness that leaders in a power position (bosses, coaches, teachers) need to acknowledge the lack of power their audience has. Tools like these can help to avoid many harmful situations that result in leaders feeling scrutinized. 

We also talk about why, as a society, we wait for harm to occur to establish accountability systems. What if this became the norm? Of course, this takes understanding and acknowledging the power differentials built into our roles, socioeconomic, gender, and race.

We end with an exercise that briefly explains how to somatically navigate defensiveness as it arises and staying present when being called out.