If you’re approaching "middle-age," you may be a little confused and nervous about the idea of menopause.
Most likely, this is because this time of life for women has long held negative connotations in our society, largely tied to stigmas of aging. However, the transition to menopause can be a time of reflection and inspiration. It’s a normal and natural part of a woman’s life, and it can be just as well lived as earlier stages. When it comes down to it, it has a lot to do with mindset.
The menopause phase is a time of change and with that, it's also a time of choice.
The mindset with which you approach this transition can have a huge impact on your experience of it. Of course, the symptoms and changes that come with this phase aren’t always avoidable, but how you experience it and the years that follow has much to do with your how you think about it and choose to behave. Those that choose to, see this time of life as a new beginning--one that can be lived vibrantly, fully, and in good health.
We don't mean to ignore the symptoms and effects that are challenging. It's important to know, as we say in our podcast more than once is that the effects of the menopause phase vary greatly from woman to woman. It's also important to know that as many as one-third of women say that they have almost no symptoms. Another third occasionally experiences mild or short-lived problems. Regardless, it has been shown that those with a more positive attitude, as well as positive lifestyle habits including self-care and, just a importantly, self-compassion, report more mild symptoms overall.
Take a listen to our podcast and our take on this time of life.
Here is the transcript:
Wendy 00:00
Hi, I'm Wendy. I'm Debbie. Welcome to nourish Noshes. We're so glad you're here. It's so funny, isn't it? How we as women don't even know what the definition of menopause was, we had to look it up.
Debbie 00:15
Well, that's because it's a little bit confusing. And some people, as I've just discovered recently, haven't even heard of perimenopause. And so what's the difference? Right. That's the confusion, I think, too, is when people are like, Oh, menopause? And I think people refer to menopause when they really mean perimenopause. Or, you know, so we just thought we'd want to clarify some things.
Wendy 00:35
Yeah, we think it's interesting. And curious time of life. Right?
Debbie 00:41
Yeah, for sure.
Wendy 00:43
Define it, because menopause is usually what people say. But there's, the definition is a very short period of time.
Debbie 00:53
Yeah, it's actually more of a phase. You know, it's a process. But the actual definition is that it's the final period, the final menstrual period, which you don't even know is your final one. Right. But it's got it's the final one. What is and it's confirmed after you've missed your period for 12 consecutive months, so a year. So you don't even realize realize you're in menopause until it's over. And then you're in post menopause. So,
Wendy 01:25
but that period of time between your last period and a year, you're in perimenopause.
Debbie 01:31
Correct and the time before that. The time before that is perimenopause, which overlaps with menopause. And that's the time when things start getting a little wonky.
Wendy 01:43
Yeah, and wonky is such a perfect word. Because, first of all, we're all different. Yes. Well, maybe even first of all, we're all going to go through it. Yes. And, and we're all different. So every woman will go through perimenopause, hit menopause and become post menopausal.
Debbie 02:06
Correct. And there's a huge time span, usually somewhere between 40 and 55, 56, 57. And it can start as early as 40. Or even sometimes some people even a little bit earlier, although that's rare. And it can go to 58, 60. And that's kind of rare to it. But you know, there's usually an average somewhere around 50, 51, 52. That's the average time that it's happening to most women--and hot flashes, why even have--why are hot flashes even a part of this and that is all a part of the lowering of estrogen. And that's exactly what the process of perimenopause and menopause is, is when your estrogen, which is at a certain level when you are fertile, starts to go down, and down and down and down and down. And that whole process of it going down and being low. Very well may cause hot flashes, but may not.
Wendy 03:05
And it's interesting, because some people ask us, How do you know and if bloodwork is only a point in time, so that only gives you that days estrogen level, right, or the average it averages the estrogen level over a small period of time. And because estrogen can be up in the morning and down in the afternoon. I mean, that's what makes it roller coaster and so wonky because it can plummet. And one of the things you and I have talked to several people about several of our clients with is that we can be doing so many wonderful things for ourselves and still have these side effects. And we think we're going crazy.
Debbie 03:52
Yes. It's so true. It's so true, because hot flashes may be like the the standard symptom of going through perimenopause and menopause. But there's so many more things that people go through and everybody's different. Like we'll keep saying that over and over again. Yeah. So, I mean, I think one of the other things that's a little bit standard, but again, it's so variable, our mood swings.
Wendy 04:19
I think, for me sometimes, I shocked myself a few times as I'm still in perimenopause. (This is Wendy.) And I would call it rage sometimes, and kind of think, well, who is that person? And how did how did that just happen? And it's, it's rare for me, thank goodness. But knowing that this is a side effect, made me a little bit more gentle with not being angry with myself for being angry. Or having having the natural feelings that I was having. It taught me to relax about it.
Debbie 05:00
Yeah, yeah, I think it's having compassion because you understand what's happening. Your body is shifting. It's sort of the opposite of puberty, but we have a lot of the same symptoms as girls. So that's that's what it's all about. It's it's a lot of moodiness, it's a lot of irritability sometimes. And sleep disturbances. Yeah, those are all things that may happen.
Wendy 05:28
Kinda mush brain too if that's, you know, just a little bit of forgetfulness, or not finding words, or almost kind of a spaced out feeling of some sort of like this really wonky energy zap, you know, and other times energy kind of being through the roof. So it's, yes, it is all normal. And we're having this conversation because we want to make sure that we talk more about it as women. I think there's not enough time, energy, resources, money, study, done in this field. So the more we talk about it with each other, the more we can hold space for this graceful period. Period. Haha. One of the other things about this time of life is that so many people hate on it.
Debbie 06:26
Yeah, that's true. Because it's different and it can be uncomfortable for some people, physically and mentally because of that, because of all the things we just mentioned. And it's getting used to the new body in a way. Yeah, it's like, you have to get to know yourself again, because everything's changing. It just like, again, reverse puberty. And it's like, Oh, here you go. You have a hormonal process that now you have a different body than you did 10 years ago. So it's a it's a getting used to, it's having compassion and patience and curiosity about it.
Wendy 07:01
Yeah. Well, and that just made me think at the time of this recording, we've got lots of butterflies in the gardens right now. It's just that's the, it's the time of year that butterflies are here. And when you're getting to know your body, again, you know, from caterpillar to butterfly, talk about change, you know, but it really is learning the tools of this new phase. And one other idea that I think is really important for us to remember as we age is the choice that we have about, about how it happens. Debbie, you are talking about this fork in the road, right with me the other day. And I love this analogy.
Debbie 07:47
That's right, because in midlife, we do, both men and women, we come to this point in our life around midlife, where we can see ahead of us, the left fork of the road and the right fork of the road and the left fork of the road is, "Oh, I'm getting older, I'm going over the hill, here comes disease and break down and limiting things. And you know, life is just going to suck from here on out because everything goes downhill physically, mentally, everything." Well, the other fork is, "Oh, here I am at middle age, I can't do what I used to do. But my mind is way more stable. And I have more wisdom and I can I have the depth of time to see things and to understand myself and the world can open up into a brand new, beautiful place that's different than where you were before. But just as beautiful, if not more beautiful, because you're choosing to live and to continue down the road not go down a hill. Maybe you're even going up a new hill." So Right. It's the idea of do I choose this fork? Or do I choose this fork.
Wendy 09:02
And with that fork in the road that knowing that we have a choice like we can, we can make this time much more beautiful than the world has painted for us. As our research continues to unfold. We see women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s creating completely new paths for themselves, writing books going on adventures, starting a whole new fitness routine. You know, there really, there's such an opportunity to redesign our life.
Debbie 09:44
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I I did a little bit of that myself in my 40s I'm 52, turning 53 this year and in my 40s Something I read that talked about sarcopenia in your 40s y