Grief, Gratitude & The Gray in Between

Navigating Trauma, Addiction, and the Unimaginable Loss of Her Son with Sally McQuillen


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Sally McQuillen, LCSW, CADC, is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in addiction recovery, grief and trauma healing. An avid reader with a double major in writing and dance criticism in college, she began working in public relations and marketing prior to obtaining her master’s degree in social work. Reaching for Beautiful is Sally’s first book. She and her husband live on the north shore of Chicago where they raised their three children.

https://www.sallymcquillen.com/    

Key topics in this conversation include:

  • The Nature of Grief: Sally describes grief as a complex experience where many deep emotions can exist at once. She and Kendra discuss how past losses don't always prepare you for new ones, and even with coping tools, they may not be accessible in the moment of trauma.
  • A Family's Journey with Addiction: Sally opens up about the legacy of addiction in her family, from her father to her own recovery, and finally to her son's struggles. She shares how she became fully transparent about her past when Christopher needed help at age 16.
  • The Loss of Christopher: Christopher passed away in a canoeing accident with three friends during a college break. After being sober for three years, he had relapsed, wanting to fit in with his fraternity brothers. The tragedy of multiple families losing their children at once was an overwhelming and traumatic experience.
  • Parenting from Love Over Fear: Sally reflects on parenting Christopher from a state of "fight or flight" and emphasizes the importance of parents calming their own nervous systems. She found that consciously letting go of fear deepened her connection with her son before he passed away.
  • Signs and Hope: Sally's belief that Christopher is still alive in spirit has been fundamental to her survival. A pivotal conversation on an airplane introduced her to A Course in Miracles, which reinforced her path of choosing love over fear.
  • Honoring Christopher's Legacy: Sally and her family keep Christopher's memory alive by supporting two charities in his name: The Penguin Project for young adults with special needs and the In Balance Ranch Academy, which provides scholarships for addiction treatment.
  • A Message of Hope: Sally offers a powerful message to any parent who has lost a child: the loss is survivable, even when it feels impossible. She aims to offer hope to others walking this difficult path.

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Grief, Gratitude & The Gray in BetweenBy Kendra Rinaldi

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