This episode recounts the harsh daily reality of a man diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, who continues to endure severe domestic violence (DV) and psychological abuse inflicted by his foreign-national wife.
While suffering from her verbal abuse toward their children and physical attacks against himself, he remains trapped in a painful dilemma: under Japan’s legal system, he fears that pursuing divorce could result in losing contact with his daughters.
Despite being the primary provider supporting all aspects of their lives, he is subjected to unilateral accusations and unjust treatment, including issues related to visa renewal and unfounded suspicions.
The account captures his deep regret over past choices and conveys the anguished inner voice of a father struggling desperately to preserve his family bonds amid a sense of inescapable despair.
Challenges in the Japanese Legal System He Is Facing
High threshold for police intervention and the principle of “non-interference in civil matters”: Unlike in the United States, in Japan the police generally do not intervene in domestic violence cases to protect victims unless there are clear physical injuries, such as visible bruising or bleeding.
Even if he were to file charges against a family member, he would likely face retaliation and be forced to live in fear, creating a dilemma where legal action does not lead to a fundamental resolution.
Structural deficiencies in post-divorce custody and visitation: In Japan, unlike in the United States, there is typically no arrangement such as “the children spend weekends with the father.” Once a parent loses custody after divorce, it is common for them to be denied access to their children.
Maternal bias in custody decisions: Because his daughters are still very young—one in the third grade and the other in the first grade—it is highly likely under current legal practices and social norms in Japan that custody would be granted to the mother.
Although the daughters are deeply attached to him, he is unable to choose divorce, even after enduring a decade of severe domestic violence, out of fear of the tragedy of never being able to see them again.