Taylor Strecker is thirsty and annoying and that's why she was livid when Kristina Kelly told her about Katie Maloney's payroll comment. Taylor doesn't need to return for season 2. She needs to be with her wife and newborn. Beau Clark is also drumming up way too much support from House of Stassi viewers. Beau kind of sucks. He benefits from being with Stassi and he's an awful communicator. He needs to man up. He's a bit of a loser.

House of Stassi is like Hulu's version of a house of horrors starring Vanderpump Rules reject Stassi Schroeder Clark, Beau Clark and their sisters. It was some of the most engrossing television I had ever seen but I need the format to change drastically for future episodes. I have SO MUCH to say about this show, as you can hear and I have so much more to say. Trust me. Stay tuned!

The original cast members of Vanderpump Rules have a lot of drama going on right now. Quick, someone pick up cameras! Brittany Cartwright gave People magazine an exclusive interview where she reads her ex-publicist's text message admitting to a romantic relationship with Brittany's estranged husband Jax Taylor. Tom Sandoval gets specific about the abuse he endured, allegedly, Rachel Raquel Leviss hasn't dropped her lawsuit against Ariana and Emmy nominated Ariana Madix may be engaged.

Perez Hilton, real name Mario Lavandeira, livestreamed his attempts to end his life last night. Many fans called the police and they were able to negotiate with the father of three. Perez is currently hospitalized and his family says he is getting the care that he needs. We sure hope so because this is easily one of the worst stories I have ever heard of and the video does damage to all who view it. Pray for Perez and his young children, if you're religious. And please reach out to the crisis line if you're struggling.

Ariana Grande is taking a break from the spotlight after fans' weight loss concerns have reached a fever pitch. Ariana Grande read a note to her fans at her concert last night and she said that she has been planning to step back for a while now. We hope she will enter a treatment center but there has been no official statement that Ariana will seek help for her alleged eating disorder.

I mention Jared Leto's explosive BBC documentary about the grooming allegations and the alleged sexual assault. Jared Leto is an eligible bachelor who hasn't gotten married and doesn't have public romantic relationships that I can think of. That is SUS! But first, I talk about how unhinged and despicable Nicki Minaj is, North West flopping, and then I get into some reality TV news.

Amanda Batula is a pathy who wants us to believe she had no clue that Ciara Miller and West Wilson were hooking up. Although Kyle Cooke is always protecting his estranged wife, he let viewers know how much he does for Amanda while she continued to claim that he cheated on her, as if she isn't dating West (who doesn't like monogamy). You really can't make this sh!t up but it's fun to watch the Amanda and West doomed situationship in real time. This won't end well. Meanwhile Danielle ate!

Jessica Grace and Edris are back together after Edris ignored Jessica after proposing to her and let everyone know that he regretted having sex with her after he kicked her out of his house. Jessica wants to marry Edris. She's too stupid to be saved. Her friends and family don't want her with this loser but she has no self-esteem and no self-worth. Edris is wasting her time. Viewers are universally horrified and disgusted to find out Jessica has returned to her alleged abuser. SMH.

Hayley Hendrich makes good reality TV because she's miserable every minute of the day and can't stop yelling about it. Hayley, I hope she gets medication and a talented therapist because she desperately needs some help. I also talk about Ashley. Let's get into it.

The Ultimatum asked a couple to leave the experiment, another couple got engaged at the beginning of the season. Then we had to deal with a scrawny Indian who either has an ED or was trying to become a meme. Jebin spent all of his screen time presenting himself as an annoying child who wants to be funny, David scares me, Killian seems checked out, Blake acts like a bot. Why were the men so insufferable this season?