Looking back at Marky Mark's idiotic life regime, Jacob Rees-Mogg getting the Class War verbals and John Lewis going down the pan because they're not selling enough pans.

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Have we found Britain's greatest man... or biggest coward? Plus a run-in with a thirsty killer, a look at the PM's Brexit trade dance, and a Stacey Solomon love-fest...

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Dominic Raab's shiny-headed no deal plans, Pete Doherty's dodgy breakfast, Trump fronts out his latest crisis and how to blame your crisp addiction on a filthy ghost mouse....

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Johnson gets his worst china out for the journos, Idris Elba and Balamory, the government wastes everyone's time on street sleeping and why Bananarama live are worth a £350 tout price.

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The week we started stockpiling food, the heat almost killed us all, a sex hedge appeared in Sheffield, we decided to execute the Beatles, and Macron denied bumming his bodyguard. Oh, and a monkey on a bike getting chased by a dog...

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The week when Putin got Trump in a two-hour headlock, Musk got the hump over his mini-sub snub, the Brexit inferno raged on and a bottom-enhancing quack went on the run.

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