News. With Christian Vierling.

America is turning into the Hunger Games, roller coasters are launching people into orbit, Gen Z is giving up alcohol, and apparently we've only got TEN YEARS TOPS.

Welcome to Episode 10 of NEWS. With Christian Vierling — the only news show committed to finding the positive in humanity's spectacular collapse.

This week, Christian and producer Jerry tackle the increasingly absurd spectacle of American life, including:

- **PUBLIC EXECUTIONS:** When did capital punishment become a potential pay-per-view sporting event? Christian has some disturbing ideas about monetization.
- **SIX FLAGS GONE WILD:** A terrifying Goliath incident sends Christian spiraling into his own questionable roller coaster history.
- **GEN Z GOES SOBER:** Is the younger generation abandoning alcohol, or just finding new ways to survive the apocalypse?
- **AIRBNB HORROR STORIES:** Bloodstains, fleas, mystery mattresses, and vacation rentals straight out of a crime scene.
- **THE REPTILIAN TAKEOVER:** Shed your skin, embrace your inner lizard, and start shopping for your luxury doomsday bunker.
- **JERRY SEINFELD GETS ROASTED:** Christian questions Seinfeld's comedy legacy, compares him with Larry David, and revisits his controversial public remarks.
- **10 YEARS TOPS:** Christian's inspirational message for a civilization running out of time.

It's politics, pop culture, existential dread, celebrity absurdity, and aggressively negative positivity.

The world may be ending, but at least we're having a good time.

Subscribe to NEWS. With Christian Vierling for weekly satire, commentary, questionable predictions, and absolutely no guarantee of responsible journalism.

**NEWS. The world is ending. We're making content.**

#ChristianVierling #NEWS #Satire #DarkComedy #ComedyPodcast

THE BLACK PLAGUE IS BACK?! REPTILIANS ARE RUNNING THE GOVERNMENT?! AND PETE DAVIDSON IS COMPLAINING ABOUT INFLUENCERS?!

Welcome to Episode 9 of NEWS. With Christian Vierling — where the headlines are real, the reactions are unhinged, and humanity apparently has TEN YEARS TOPS.

This week, Christian takes on everything wrong with civilization, including:

- A mysterious Black Plague scare in Russia
- Susan Dell, Donald Trump, and the alleged reptilian takeover of American politics
- Pete Davidson's attack on TikTok influencers (and Christian's absolutely merciless response)
- Why Gen Z inherited a world that's already falling apart
- The absolute humiliation of grown men smoking fruit-flavored vapes
- A Hawaiian wedding, destination travel, and the occasional cultural misunderstanding
- Aliens, artificial intelligence, and the increasingly convincing possibility that we're living in a simulation

And, of course, Christian introduces the philosophy that's sweeping the nation: TEN YEARS TOPS. Why worry about tomorrow when the apocalypse is practically on the calendar?

It's politics, pop culture, conspiracy theories, celebrity drama, and completely irresponsible optimism.

Subscribe before the reptilians shut us down.

🌐 https://newswithchristian.com

NEWS. With Christian Vierling.
The Less You Know... The Happier You'll Be!

**DISCLAIMER:** This is a satirical comedy program. The conspiracy theories, outrageous statements, and absurd predictions are jokes, not factual reporting or genuine advice.

#ChristianVierling #NEWS #PeteDavidson #ComedyPodcast #Satire

Christian Vierling is asking the questions no sane person would ask- especially while surrounded by Swifties.

This week on NEWS, Christian and Jerry dive into the terrifying power of Taylor Swift's fanbase, the dystopian insanity, (and vanity) of the VMAs, Meta's adorable little AI future that arrives just in time to steal your data, gentle parenting, Pokémon addiction, and the special circle of hell known as the destination wedding.

It's news. Technically.

NEWS with Christian Vierling is a comedy/parody news show where the facts are optional, the opinions are questionable, and we're absolutely willing to sell out if the price is right.

Subscribe, like, comment and join the rapidly deteriorating NEWS community.

#TaylorSwift #ChristianVierling #Comedy #NewsParody #Swifties #KimKardashian #Podcast

Welcome back to **NEWS. with Christian Vierling**, where the headlines are questionable, the opinions are worse, and knowing less may actually make you happier.

This week, Christian dives headfirst into another collection of things nobody asked him to explain — from Korean BBQ etiquette and the annual pumpkin-spice takeover to looksmaxxing, 2000s nostalgia, men going to therapy, Christian influencers, megachurch culture, Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller, and the terrifying realization that women who do Pilates may simply be more powerful than the rest of us.

Along the way, we examine the important questions facing society: Is Korean BBQ actually dinner or an endurance sport? Have we finally taken male self-improvement too far? Was everything better in the 2000s, or were we just younger? And how many Pilates classes would Christian survive before requiring emergency medical assistance?

It's news. Technically.

**NEWS. with Christian Vierling** is a comedy/parody show. The opinions, jokes, exaggerations, questionable conclusions, and occasional complete nonsense expressed herein should not be confused with competent journalism.

Subscribe for more NEWS — because **the less you know, the happier you'll be.**

#ChristianVierling #NEWS #Comedy #ComedyPodcast #Satire #ParodyNews #Podcast #Looksmaxxing #KoreanBBQ #DanceMoms #AbbyLeeMiller #Pilates #2000sNostalgia

Christian Vierling is back with another completely unhinged episode of NEWS — taking on Sydney Sweeney’s latest ad, Hollywood’s Botox obsession at the Emmys, Cesar Millan and the Dog Whisperer era, the rise of shroom chocolates and microdosing, Bonnie Blue, Apple’s foldable iPhone, Venus, aliens, Oura Rings, Adam22 and Lena the Plug, and whatever else civilization decided to throw at us this week.

Christian also relives a disastrous Korean BBQ experience, recalls taking four grams of mushrooms in high school, wonders whether celebrities can still move their faces, explains why he’ll inevitably buy Apple’s newest gadget no matter how much he complains about it, and sends another personal message to any extraterrestrials currently monitoring Earth.

NEWS with Christian Vierling: the less you know, the happier you’ll be.

Subscribe for new episodes and clips.

NEWS is back for Episode 5, and somehow the world has managed to get even stranger.

Christian Vierling and producer Jerry tear into another week of ridiculous headlines, questionable decisions and stories that probably deserve far more mature analysis than they’re going to receive here.

This week, Burning Man celebrates its 40th anniversary — and things take a dark turn in the Nevada desert. Christian digs into reports of deaths at the festival, the brutal conditions, and the particular combination of heat, dehydration and recreational chemistry that makes Black Rock City unlike almost anywhere else on Earth.

That leads directly to Jerry’s own history with Burning Man — complete with photographic evidence Christian probably had no business finding.

Plus: California, bodily functions, questionable life choices, neurodivergent brains and several other subjects that somehow become news.

Welcome to NEWS.

Subscribe and join us every week for the headlines nobody else is covering quite like this.

#NEWS #BurningMan #ComedyNews #ChristianVierling #Satire #CurrentEvents #Podcast

Christian Vierling and producer Jerry are back for another completely reasonable examination of current events.

This week: Flock surveillance cameras are popping up everywhere, Trump’s approval numbers spark Christian’s presidential ambitions, America needs to embrace men with less-than-impressive equipment, an iPhone story sends the show into technological despair, sex robots inevitably enter the conversation, sorority recruitment season returns, and advances in animal cloning raise one extremely important question: would Christian date himself?

Plus modeling lessons for government surveillance cameras, an impromptu IQ test, questionable life advice, and approximately 70 minutes of evidence that NEWS should probably not be considered a legitimate news organization.

Subscribe for new episodes of NEWS with Christian Vierling.

NEWS is back for Episode 3, and apparently civilization has decided to completely give up.

Christian Vierling and producer Jerry Brunskill dive into the latest chaos: record-setting food recalls, America’s obsession with goth girls, whether men should cry, Luigi Mangione, the surge in UFO and UAP sightings, fantasy football destroying relationships, parents posting their kids online, a massive full moon and lunar eclipse, Kendall Jenner and Jacob Elordi, and Prince Harry’s return to the UK.

Is something actually happening in the skies? Is fantasy football more important than your relationship? Why are celebrities so boring now? And most importantly… what exactly is the Duke of Sausage?

This is NEWS — where the headlines are real and everything after that becomes increasingly questionable.

Subscribe for new episodes of NEWS with Christian Vierling.

Follow NEWS on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

#NEWS #ChristianVierling #UFO #UAP #LuigiMangione #PrinceHarry #Comedy #PopCulture #CurrentEvents

There’s too much f**kin’ news.

On Episode 2 of **NEWS with Christian Vierling**, Christian takes on the stories nobody asked him to explain — and probably shouldn't have.

College grads are moving back in with their parents just in time for AI to take the jobs they thought they were getting. Nepo babies are still thriving. GLP-1s are changing the American dad bod. Influencers are supposedly dying out. Celebrities are becoming less relatable by the minute.

Plus: **Weather with Carly** makes its glorious debut, and NEWS finally lands the sponsor every media company dreams of: **Your Name Here**.

It’s news. Technically.

**In this episode:**
• AI, college debt and the disappearing entry-level job
• The nightmare of moving back in with your parents
• Weather with Carly
• Hollywood's nepo babies
• GLP-1s and the end of the classic dad bod
• Is influencer culture finally dying?
• Why celebrities feel increasingly disconnected from normal people
• The official beverage of shameless product placement: Your Name Here

Subscribe for more **NEWS with Christian Vierling**.

0:00 — Tonight on NEWS
2:08 — NEWS with Christian Vierling
2:11 — Have Americans Become Too Prudish?
6:23 — College Grads Are Moving Back Home
7:51 — AI Is Coming for Your Job
9:19 — Christian's Extremely Bad Solution
13:19 — NEWS
13:41 — Introducing Weather with Carly
15:14 — Are Americans Sick of Nepo Babies?
17:53 — NEWS
28:17 — GLP-1s & the American Dad Bod
31:52 — Is the Age of Influencers Ending?
33:47 — Celebrity Approval Is in the Dirt
37:24 — Your Name Here: The Official Sponsor
41:05 — Closing Thoughts

#NEWS #ChristianVierling #Comedy #Satire #AINews #NepoBaby #Influencers #GLP1 #PopCulture #ComedyNewsCreators & Guests

This week on News with Christian Vierling: a nation united by diarrhea, a Disney adult in the family, and men's obsession with supplements.

We cover the Taco Bell outbreak, declining birth rates, the American literacy crisis, Elon Musk saying money's over — and then say the exact wrong thing about all of it.

Christian promises you three things: no integrity, no morals, and no one left un-thrown under the bus. This is **Negative Positivity** — self-help for people who probably shouldn't be helping themselves.

You'll laugh. You'll heal. You'll wonder why you're being parented by a 29-year-old who sleep-orders donuts.

⚠️ **THIS IS A NEWS PARODY.** It is NOT the news. Nothing here is real reporting, medical advice, financial advice, or advice of any kind. If you took any of it seriously, that's a you problem, and we love you for it. ♥

Love yourself today. Practice forgiveness. Envision yourself as the true motherf**king bad bitch that you are.

**New episodes weekly.**

⏱️ **CHAPTERS**

0:00 — I had a weapon and I said "give me a show"
2:28 — America has diarrhea and we stand with Taco Bell
5:04 — I interviewed a Disney adult (it was my sister)
10:44 — It's not your fault, it's the moon
14:13 — You're not low on magnesium, you're just abusive
16:54 — Declining birth rates & why kids shouldn't fly
19:44 — Summer of the Shark
24:59 — Guillain-Barré, BBLs & is God gay?
31:22 — Elon Musk says money's over, so what are we doing
32:28 — The literacy crisis (a Target case study)
36:57 — Blame the millennials
37:43 — I sleep-ordered donuts at 3AM and grabbed a bat
41:45 — Love yourself, good night

📎 Clip it, don't credit it, we'll find out anyway.

🎥 **Christian Vierling:** @christianvierling
🎬 **Produced by Wow and Flutter Media**

#NewsWithChristianVierling #ComedyPodcast #Satire #NewsParody #NegativePositivity