However much you're getting, it's the wrong amount.

You can just call it Purell.

Is the concept of First World Problems patronizing to people not in the “first world”?

We've got a couple of mics in the aisles so if you could just come forward and form a line…

Is it worth it?

The friends justify the means.

Sucking the CO2 out of the sky

Making sure everything comes out okay.

That thing people do when they hold the microphone like they're almost eating it.

I have no confidence that I'm doing this right.