Nicheties

Known movie hater, Angela, gets deep when talking about Greta Gerwig's, Barbie (2023), starring Margot Robbie. Angela anti-feministly (?) states, "I never felt bad for Kens," and, "men are a little bit useless."

Known movie lover, Maya, sounds like a broken record whinging, “9.5 out of 10, could’ve used more fat people."

Join Maya and Angela in this summer mini-episode recapping and reviewing summer 2023 BlockBuster™ hit, Barbie. Are these two Lesbians wet for Ken? Should men have the right to vote? Should CGI be banned and Marvel sued for reparations? Tune in to find out.

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This episode is dedicated to Tug.

I know this is typically an anti-pet podcast, but I (Angela) have spent the last few weeks worried about my dog Tug. When this episode was recorded I was sure there was going to be a cure for whatever was wrong with him. Just before sitting down to write this episode description I received a call that Tug got 15 pounds of fluid drained from his abdomen and the vet still does not know what is wrong with him. They aren't running any more tests. At this point we are just hoping for the best.

Tug is my best friend and favorite being to ever exist. The first night I had him he fell asleep on my lap, belly up and I cried because I had never felt a love like that. That first night he slept in my bed and took up most of it. The next morning he woke me up at 5 AM and took a big sh*t in the corner of the room. I was annoyed, but I knew nothing he could do could make me stop loving him. To this day, the first thing I do when I see him is sit down on the floor so he can lay down in my lap, belly up.

Tug is the biggest love of my life. Since I got that first phone call telling me he was sick whenever I think about him it's like I can feel him. I can feel his muzzle being held in my hand right before I give him a smooch on the nose. I can feel his back pushed up against me as we lay on the kitchen floor, him the little spoon and me the big.

He is 12 or 13 now, I really can't remember. But I will always remember how much comfort he brought me and how much love he taught me I was capable of giving.

I am sorry that I do not have anything funny to say. I just had to tell someone, anyone, how much I love my dog.

Maya and Angela are back and have some big announcements! Maya is denouncing her Midwest roots and moving to Pennsylvania to fulfill her new dream of becoming a costal elite, and Angela is having a birthday party. Both things are equally exciting! To really prove herself as a costal elitist Maya has also decided to stop doing her own laundry, call her Priyanka Chopra Jonas.

In addition to these exciting announcements, Nicheties hosts have some important information about prehistoric looking animals with armor called scutes to share with you. Did you know sharks have scales? Did you know turtles have scutes? Did you know rhinos have armor? All these facts and more on this weeks episode. Just press play!

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Save the date!

When? 04/15/23

Where? Las Vegas, Nevada under the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile

What? Get married to Maya

Seriously, does anyone want to have a wiener wedding with Maya? (Cis men need not apply)

This week Maya and Angela are talking fashion and why you should call DHS on any parent who puts their 10 year old in business casual wear.

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Not yet had your weekly fill of Socratic conversations? Never fear! Nicheties is here!

Maya and Angela ponder many big topics this week like, what actually counts as work place sexual harassment? Why don't we talk more about the fact that God was an absent father? Where frick are all the batteries? And last, but certainly not least, why don't high schoolers get recess? So, put on your fanciest outfit, take your bluetooth speaker to the fanciest room in your house and pretend that you're hosting an old timey salon, because otherwise it'll look weird when you end up talking back to your podcast.

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It's episode 40 y'all!!! Did you know that most podcasts quit producing episodes before they reach episode 10? Well not Nicheties! Maya and Angela are never going to quit. In 2054 you'll be dusting off your old iPhone, log into Instagram and BOOM! You see that Nicheties is still posting stories with Spotify links.

Maya and Angela are inviting you to come celebrate this momentous occasion with them by spending 40 seconds with Jesse Eisenberg (also know as Blu from Rio), and head butting Michelle Obama. Seriously, this is a celebration so plug your wireless headphones in and let's get going!!!

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Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening! <3

 Picture this.... it's 2017 Maya is in Spain writing in her google docs diary that she shares with her college friends. She's severely depressed and her diary entries are scaring the hoes. Little does she know, she's insured overseas. She could be seeing a therapist! And listen, therapy is not a cure all but it may have stopped Angela from wanting to board a plane to knock some sense into Maya. 

This week Nicheties hosts are talking about therapy and why they love it! 

Below they have attached some links about how to get started finding a therapist. 

https://counseling.uiowa.edu/additional-resources/guide-finding-therapist-community

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Remember that we love you and it is okay to ask for help even if you don't know what kind of help you need.

Hey Nicheties listeners! Maya and Angela need help and usually they're too proud to ask for it, but in this rare moment of vulnerability they are asking you to rate this podcast wherever you are listening. Seriously, some doofus gave them a low rating on Spotify and that's apparently like really hard to come back from. 

Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks to the 2010 hit movie Valentine's Day you can celebrate the holiday no matter the time of year. This week Angela comes to recording with plans to analyze Valentine's Day the movie, but in true Gemini fashion refuses to do so. Maya on the other hand is all in. Listen in as they discuss soldier Julia Roberts, sex worker Anne Hathaway, and potential terrorist Ashton K*tcher. 

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When you picture an (informal) spiritualist - who do you see? It's not Maya is it?! Okay if it is she doesn't want to know actually lmao. Maya divulges that she might actually be a sweetheart rather than the Ms. Trunchbull character she's been made out to be. Spirituality and horny Radical Leftist poetry come together to make this one hell of a cursed episode. 

Maya and Angela discuss nepotism or "nepo babies," and define networking. Did you know if you're a local you're probably also networking? Well, you are! And you don't even have to wear pantyhose or feel icky while doing it. Join Nicheties hosts as they realize that networking is actually not the villain and Angela flexes their knowledge of Kardashian baby daddy marketing ploys. Simultaneously, we get aggro Angela doing what we love to hear them do, denounce celebrity worship. That's called duality folks.  

Unhinged Quote of Episode 37

“We don’t get hard-ons for the middle class and I would argue that is who we should be getting hard for” - check out Nicheties' Insta to double check who tf said that

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Hey, hey, hey. You all have been spoiled with amazing audio quality for too long. This week Nicheties is getting back to their roots, and giving you mediocre sound quality at best. But never fear, because as always hosts Maya & Angela provide you with top tier commentary. 

This week Nicheties tells Michelle Obama to suck it, provides you with the qualifiers for claiming bad nail beds, and as always calls for stricter child labor laws. 

Make sure to follow, download, rate, and review this podcast wherever you are listening! 

Find Nicheties on Tiktok and Instagram @NichetiesPod