Nicole & Kate Can Relate

Whether you’re single, dating, in a serious relationship, divorced, or have been married for years, you’re probably familiar with the judgment and stigmas surrounding dating and one’s relationship status in our society.

For this episode we’ve invited our good friend Allison Melody on the mic to help us chat about relationships from a different perspective: that of a single woman who knows what she wants, and is not afraid to ask for it.

Points Discussed in this Episode

• What Alli has learned from her life experiences, like going through a divorce, and what she has learned by allowing herself to be single
• The fear of being alone, loneliness, and the fear of judgment when it comes to relationships (or being single)
• Finding support through being open and vulnerable about what you’re going through 
• What you put up with is what you end up with
• Establish your boundaries and values and don’t be afraid to state those and stand by them - in every area of your life
• How do we know when it’s time to move on?
• Alli describes two terms used a lot in the dating world: gaslighting and love-bombing
• The 5 Love Languages - which one is your love language?

Mentioned in this episode: 

• Ingrid Bergman in the movie Gaslight (1944)
• Dirty John series on Netflix
• The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
• Food Heals Podcast and website 
• Follow Alli on Instagram 

If this convo brings up anything for you and you need further help, support, or guidance, check out these resources:

• Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia)
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36 (Australia)
• Headspace on 1 800 650 890 (USA)
• BetterHelp (USA)

Asking for help shows strength.

Thank you so much for joining us for this special feature episode with Allison Melody on what being single has taught her.

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

There are certainly pros to being a specialist. No one wants an airline pilot who is “kind of good” at flying a plane. But does that mean being a specialist is always better than being a generalist?

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences with - at times - being on track to become specialists in certain areas, but also seeing the value in being good at a lot of different things.

Points Discussed in this Episode

• The idea that being a specialist is somehow superior or makes you better versus being a generalist 
• Situations where being a specialist would be of benefit 
• Does it have to be one or the other, or can it be both?
• Things we “could have been” GREAT at

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: Is being a specialist better than being a generalist?

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

Conferences and networking events - how do you know which ones are worth attending, and how can you plan and prepare properly to get the most out of them?

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences with conferences and networking events, including our hacks and the things we’ve learned from attending dozens of them over the past 10 years!

Points Discussed in this Episode

• How do you choose the right conferences and networking events to attend? 
• Attending an event for content versus networking 
• FOMO when it comes to conferences and events
• Attending events as an introvert and protecting your energy
• Being an attendee versus being a speaker at an event (and the different energy levels required)
• Virtual events versus in person events

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: How do you know which conferences and networking events are worth attending?

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

A reading week? We know… we had our fair share of questions about what a reading week looks like, why you should consider doing one, and what the biggest benefits of a reading week might be. 

So for this episode we invite Steph Clarke of Steph’s Business Bookshelf Podcast on to talk about it!

Points Discussed in this Episode

• Types of books to read during different times of the day
• Having go-to sources you trust for book recommendations
• How a “reading week” might be a “thinking” weekend, a “4-day meditation getaway”… it’s really about getting out of your routine
• Steph’s 3 tips for planning your reading week
• The biggest benefits of a week away typically follow in the weeks after 
• The preparation leading up to your time away and how that helps set you up for success
• Setting expectations for others - and yourself - for what this time will look like
• Start small! You can start with a ‘house swap’ with a friend for a few hours one day
• Delete social media and email apps off your phone so you can truly disconnect

Mentioned in this Episode: 

How to Plan Your Own Reading Week: Steph’s Business Bookshelf Podcast

Adam Grant’s reading list

Steph’s LinkedIn 

Steph’s Instagram 

Thank you so much for joining us for this Special Feature episode with Steph Clarke on how to plan a reading week!

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

Responsibility isn’t something to be taken lightly. Yet so many toss it out with the trash and go on with their lives as though their commitments and duty don’t matter.

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences with responsibility, why we don’t take it lightly, and how our responsibilities affect so much more than just our own daily lives.

Points Discussed in this Episode

• Is it true… That how you do anything is how you do everything?
• What level of responsibility do we owe ourselves - and others? 
• Our view of responsibility growing up
• How we view responsibility now, and how that influences our decisions

Mentioned in this episode: 

• Ryan Holiday article: How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: What level of responsibility is ‘enough’?

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

Being an empathetic friend, partner, and leader is hopefully something we all strive for. But maybe empathy isn’t something you’ve thought about much… Maybe you’re not quite sure what it even means. 

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences with empathy, and why we feel that striving to be an empathetic person can make such a huge difference in your life - and in others lives.

Points Discussed in this Episode:

• The definition of empathy, and looking at empathy as a skill
• Why being empathetic is important
• Diving into the 4 Qualities of Empathy (from Brené Brown)

Mentioned in this episode:

• Brené Brown’s book: I Thought It Was Just Me, But Isn’t
• Michele Hansen’s book: Deploy Empathy

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: Do you consider yourself an empathetic person?

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

PSA: Stick around until the very end of today’s episode to hear about an incredible milestone we’re hoping you’ll celebrate with us! :)

Celebrations and parties - not everyone loves them, but we think they should!

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences hosting parties, what the pros and cons of hosting a party at home are, our favorite occasions to celebrate, and why we think celebrating is so important!

Points Discussed in this Episode

• Our favorite things to celebrate 
• What goes into throwing or hosting a great party 
• Where our love of parties and bringing people together comes from
• Deciding to host a party at home versus finding a venue 
• Are costume parties fun or a nuisance?
• Why celebrating wins and milestones is so important

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: Who doesn’t love a good celebration?!

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

Are there things on your to-do list you do because you feel obligated to, but that you really don’t like doing? Yeah, we’ve got a few of those, too…

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences with obligations - what they are, why we do them, and some different ways of looking at those less-than-ideal to-do’s from a new perspective to make them a little easier to tackle.

Points Discussed in this Episode

• Things we do out of pure obligation - that we don’t want to do. Why do we do them?
• Feeling accomplished after completing an obligation
• Setting boundaries and saying no to things you don’t want to do
• Things we feel obligated to do, but that we also kind of want to do - are these the things that push us outside of our comfort zone?
• Obligations cross-culturally and how those play out
• Things we love doing - period 
• Discuss Naval’s question: "A personal metric: how much of the day is spent doing things out of obligation rather than out of interest?"
• Choosing our own path 
• Different phases of our lives bringing on different types of obligations

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: Want to do, have to do, get to do: which is it?

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgement, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

It’s a question you’ve maybe thought about here and there, but being able to dive in and consider the topic from multiple different perspectives is, well, why we started this podcast!

In this episode we’ll share our own personal experiences with marriage, what it means to us, and the importance of being on the same page with your partner.

Points Discussed in this Episode:

• Is marriage relevant? 
• The history of marriage 
• There being a very “transactional” feeling to certain aspects of marriage
• The different reasons why you might decide to marry
• The “anti-wedding” and planning your celebration to represent you as a couple
• The importance of being on the same page with your partner
• Did you feel different after you got married?

Mentioned in this episode: 

• ABC Article: Marriage in Australia: A timeline of how love and law have changed in 130 years
• Time Article: Here Are Places Women Can't Take Their Husband's Name When They Get Married

Thank you so much for joining us for this episode where we share our own experiences answering the question: What does marriage mean to you?

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.

Mental health and wellness is something we all know is important. But how widely accepted is it? And do people shy away from getting help because of fear of judgment - or worse, because they don’t have access?

In this episode we’ve invited our good friend Katie VanBuskirk, PHD in clinical psychology, on the mic to chat about mental health. We also discuss some of the tools that are becoming more and more widely available to support those seeking help.

Points Discussed in this Episode

• How counseling and telemedicine has become much more widely available (and leveraged) since Covid
• It seems individuals are more open to talking about and sharing that they’re in counseling or talking to a therapist - it’s becoming more “accepted”… is that actually the case?
• Our responsibility as business owners to take care of our own mental health, in addition to providing support and tools for our teams
• Not knowing how to identify certain feelings like anxiety or stress; what’s the best course of action for someone?
• Ways we interact and engage on social media and how that shapes our experience with social media
• Giving someone permission to be upset about something / grieve 
• The vast difference between for some re: what our parents might have experienced growing up versus our experience as children 
• How does mindset, meditation, and mindfulness fit into psychology and counseling - are they intertwined?
• Everyone has their own way of dealing with mental wellness; what’s therapeutic for one person might be different for another 

Mentioned in this episode

• Detox Your Thoughts by Andrea Bonior, PhD (recommended by Nicole)
• Feeling Good by David D. Burns (recommended by Katie)
• Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker (recommended by Kate)

P.S. If this convo brings up anything for you and you need further help or guidance, check out these resources:

• BetterHelp Online Counseling - private therapy anytime, anywhere
• TalkSpace Online Therapy - Feeling better starts with a single message
• Lifeline or Beyond Blue (Australia)

  Asking for help shows strength.

Thank you so much for joining us for this Special Feature episode with Katie VanBuskirk on mental health!

Don’t forget to follow or subscribe to Nicole & Kate Can Relate for more episodes like this one! 

Our mission with this podcast is to share a candid convo one time per week to help provide love, support, and space for women to share without judgment, speak without hesitation, and learn from each other - even when we don’t agree.