No-Budget Nightmares

It's another NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES PATREON SPECIAL, and that means something WEIRD! And, in this case, something GERMAN! Thanks to listener LARS for forcing us to watch the 2003 action-satire-gore-comedy OPERATION DANCE SENSATION, which has MASSIVE GUNS, endless NINJAS and an EPIC running time it doesn't quite deserve. But it's plenty violent, and has a snappy theme song, and that's good enough for us. GATHER YOUR FAMILY AND LISTEN!

It's a NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES *FIRST*! A SEQUEL! Moe and Doug return to ARGENTINA to check out the mid-point of the beloved PLAGA ZOMBIE trilogy, and they LOVE IT! In fact, there's some discussion about whether this is the BEST NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES FILM EVER! But that's at the end. Before that, you'll have to enjoy hearing THE BOYS wax philosophic about beheadings, disembowlings and JOHN WEST! It's all that and a bag of chips, so what are you waiting for? START LISTENING, JERKS!

Sgt. Gregory Dapp is a renegade space cop hunting down a deadly creature across the cosmos. The beast, called a PHOBE, makes its way to planet earth with DAPP hot on its trail, but soon comes upon a young high school cheerleader who has unknowingly stolen its egg. Can DAPP protect the young woman AND steal her heart? Can he stop the PHOBE from reproducing and bring it back to his commander? Can he sport the dumbest haircut in cinema history? Can he dance awkwardly with a HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT? Can he constantly wear sunglasses to cover his glowing yellow eyes? ALL WILL BE REVEALED on the latest episode of No-Budget Nightmares, featuring the Canadian classic PHOBE: THE XENOPHOBIC EXPERIMENTS!

Does it get any better than a SOV horror that had a limited international release in the 80s finally getting released in North America 28 years later (thanks to Bleeding Skull)? No, it doesn’t! And CARDS OF DEATH isn’t just some boring obscurity, it’s weird as hell, and introduced the world to “Gunny” Gunther, the dumbest, angriest cop ever! And don’t get us started on the closing credits song! No-Budget Nightmares returns to its roots, and we couldn’t be happier. Want more of this goodness (and some fine perks)? Support No-Budget Nightmare on PATREON! Go ahead and check out NO-BUDGET NIGHTMARES on Facebook and Twitter! You’ll be our best friend. Or check out Moe and Doug on Twitter! And head over to Dork Shelf for all the best film, TV and comic news, reviews and commentary.

Look, I'm going to be straight with you. This is a rough episode of No-Budget Nightmares. We didn't like the movie, which is just an unending parade of empty misery, and talking about it was just a tremendous drag. You'll hear how defeated we were by the end. However, if you've ever wanted to hear us be mentally and physically destroyed by a movie, this is the episode for you. It's the 2014 computer animated film WHERE THE DEAD GO TO DIE from director Jimmy ScreamerClauz. Don't say we didn't warn you.

YOU ASKED FOR IT! YOU GOT IT! It's a Something Weird (and Moe Porne) favorite, 1969's DRACULA (THE DIRTY OLD MAN), featuring all manners of rubber bats, sexual assault, and a soundtrack full of lame jokes recorded to make up for its unusable original audio! You also get Irving Jackalman, sex through pants, and some of the most uncomfortable dirty talk you're likely to ever hear and uncontrollable laughter. Who could ask for anything more? It's No-Budget Nightmares!

Take a splash of THE EVIL DEAD, a pinch of 1977's HOUSE (aka HAUSU), and a whole lot of BODY BUILDING and you have something resembling the Japanese microbudget horror comedy BLOODY MUSCLE BODY BUILDER IN HELL. Filmed on 8mm back in 1995, it wasn't completed until 2009 and didn't get an official release until 2012, and despite all those timeline shenanigans, it's still fun as HELL. Gory, funny, and packed with inspiration, it's something far more than a fan film. LISTENING TIME!

Look, we get it. That title is pretty rough. Also, this is a Bill Zebub film, so you know it's likely going to be awful. We at No-Budget Nightmares understand that some will be rightfully put off by such an extreme title, though the film in no way reflects the language of that title. There's no Jesus. There's no rape. Also, an HOUR of the movie is a SLIDESHOW OF IMAGES. SERIOUSLY. Dear lord. Anyway, we watched it, and now you get to hear us talk about it. It's a simply transaction. May god have mercy on our souls.

Exploding dongs. SO MANY EXPLODING DONGS. 2011's THE TAINT is a bad taste smörgåsbord, gleefully crossing the line at every opportunity with its unique mixture of quirky humor, bodily fluids, shockingly slick FX and a tremendous synth soundtrack. But IS IT ANY GOOD? Let your good friends Moe and Doug decide! Or not! We're not your parents! Also included is our big ROBOT NINJA announcement, so check that out. TIME TO LISTEN, JERKS!

MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE! No-Budget Nightmares is BACK with Uganda's first action movie WHO KILLED CAPTAIN ALEX?, featuring Ugandan Bruce Lee (aka Bruce U!), "Kissed By a Rose", helicopter attacks, and NON-STOP action! Made for only $200, and featuring a feature length "Video Joker" commentary from VJ Emmie, it's an absolute marvel. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTABLE!