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Candice talks about Savannah Guthrie's book Mostly What God Does. 

Spoiler Alert: Mostly what God does is love us.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

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Learn more about self-confrontation: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/podcasts/conversations-with-dr-jennifer/post/3-ways-become-better-partner

Matthew 7:3-5
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy [child’s] eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4 Or how wilt thou say to thy [child], Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy [child’s] eye.

https://www.facebook.com/finlaysonfife/posts/every-time-you-defend-yourself-or-minimize-some-way-in-which-youve-hurt-your-spo/818514040322931/

Some questions to ask yourself:

• What is my part in this?
• What is hard about dealing with me on this issue?
• What am I not seeing?

Learn more about over-responsibility: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/over-responsibility-the-spin/ (NOTE: Kara Lowentheil is a brilliant and insightful master coach who may have language practices that differ from yours, including in the name of her podcast.)

Elder Shayne Bowen: “A central part of our Father’s plan was that we would be free to choose. This gift is called agency, the power to choose. The companion of agency is always accountability. We are individually responsible for the choices we make.”

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

Some questions to ask yourself:

• What can I actually control here?
• Why do I sometimes act like I can control things that are out of my control?
• Do I want to keep doing that?
• Why don’t I want them to see it differently than I see it?
  
  

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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Candice talks with Susan Hinckley and Cynthia Winward as part of At Last She Said It's "Embracing Your Journey" series

Quotes from the episode
“A covenant is not a cage” -Candice
“People want to hear what I have to say” - Candice

"Your Divine Nature and Eternal Destiny" by Dale Renlund,  April 2022

At-One-Ment, by Thomas Wirthlin McConkie

“Big Voice—go ahead.” —Mrs. Frazzled (here)

“God is in relentless pursuit of you.” —Patrick Kearon

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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Candice shares a fitness lesson about letting go that may benefit your relationship, too.

The psoas release exercise she talks about is part of the Restore Your Core program created by Lauren Ohayon. You can find Lauren on Instagram.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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Tiffany Porter talks about her experience as a parent of a transgender child and the impact that has had on her family and herself. She was able to move from feeling "bereft" and "cheated" to grateful and full of love.

The 3 practices are:
I’ll be unusually interested in others
I’ll stay in the room with difference and
I’ll stop comparing my best to your worst.

Doctrine & Covenants 123:17
"let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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Candice talks with Kurt Francom about his book Is God Disappointed in Me?: Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace

Kurt Francom is the founder and executive director of Leading Saints and manages the day-to-day efforts of Leading Saints and is the host of the podcast. Kurt graduated from the University of Utah in 2008 with a degree in Business Marketing. He ran a web development company for 5 years before focusing on Leading Saints full-time. Kurt currently lives in American Fork, Utah with his lovely wife Alanna. They are blessed to have three children. Kurt has served as a full-time missionary (California Sacramento), as a bishop, 1st counselor in a stake presidency, and elders quorum president.

https://www.deseretbook.com/product/6070527.html

https://www.amazon.com/God-Disappointed-Me-Kurt-Francom/dp/B0CT67RS86

https://leadingsaints.org/new-to-leading-saints-start-here/

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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How do you define success as a parent? Is it about who you are and what you do, or does your sense of value depend on your kids?

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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Shiree Best of Just Love Them podcast interviews me.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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In the middle of the continuum, away from shame and blame, we find kindness and accountability. The middle is where the truth lies. 

Quotes from Pr. Russell Nelson’s talk “Peacemakers Needed” 

“Building bridges of understanding will require much of you.”

“Contention drives away the Spirit, every time. Contention reinforces the false notion that confrontation is the way to resolve differences, but it never is. Contention is a choice. Peacemaking is a choice.”

“Charity is the antidote to contention. Charity is the spiritual gift that helps us cast off the natural man, who is selfish, defensive, prideful, and jealous. Charity is the principal characteristic of a true follower of Jesus Christ. Charity defines a peacemaker. . . One of the best ways we can honor the Savior is to become a peacemaker.”

Peacemakers don’t blame other people. Peacemakers don’t simmer in shame.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, an expert in child development, said,

"You are still a good person even when you struggle." 

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!

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Shame stories:

I should have known this about my child already.
I should have stood up for my child with ward leaders.
I should have taught my child better to respect ward leaders.
I should have confronted my child about their behavior or belief.
I should not have confronted my child about their behavior or belief.
I should have handled my child’s situation the way my neighbor handled theirs.
I should have listened better when my child told me about their changing faith.
I should have taught my child better so their faith would be stronger.

In one way or another, all of these stories boil down to the idea that “I am a bad mom. Things would be better if I had done it differently.”

Better stories:

“I’m so glad I know more about my child now. It helps me understand them better so I can be more supportive while they figure out how they want to live their life.”

“I wish I had been a better advocate for my child in the past. I can make a list of ways I can advocate for them now, and how I can be an influence for good for people in similar situations.”

“I choose to believe people mean well and are doing the best that they can. I am going to offer that grace to my leaders as I decide how best to interact with them. I am also going to offer that grace to my children.”

“My child gets to choose their beliefs.”

“I can decide when it’s appropriate to share my view.”

“Every situation is unique. I can learn from others and decide what’s best for my relationships.”

“I did the best I could at the time. When we know better, we do better. I am learning to listen better.”

“I taught my child as best I could. They were always meant to make their own choices.”

Can you hear how these stories have more compassion? They don’t ignore accountability. They also don’t ignore grace and growth. Learn how to tell yourself better stories.

Jesus loves me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m trying to be like Jesus.

You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.

It's going to be okay, and even better!