No Man Knows My Herstory

By No Man Knows My Herstory

What's No Man Knows My Herstory about?

Join two former members of the Mormon church as they unpack some intergenerational trauma (hey, polygamy!) and explore what it was like to be gay and raised in a Christian cult.

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No Man Knows My Herstory episodes:

06.21.2019
62 - Club Fuck Packer is anti-Semitic BS
Sisters Cari and Kelsae address feedback by a listener that Club Fuck Packer is anti-semitic. TL;DR it is, we're sorry, we'll do better. For full show notes and links, go to: www.nomanknowsmyherstory.com/episodes/062
03.11.2019
61 - Oaks is the worst
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss the nonsense one Elder Oaks got into during the month of February. But Sisters, you may say, it is now March. That’s right, it is. And honestly they’re still upset about what he said,...
02.05.2019
60 - Endure to the end, suckers
TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of suicidal ideation/other consequences of poor mental health due to participating in a cult. This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss that old Mormondy Mormon favorite, enduring to the end and the myriad ways it can mess up your...
01.28.2019
59 - PTSD, neuroception, and Mormonism
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and how it pertains to the ex-Mormon experience (hint: all cult survivors have trauma!). Sisters Cari and Kelsae (but mostly Kelsae, let’s be real, yay for MSWs!) discuss symptoms, brain...
01.07.2019
58 - Russell Mormon Nelson changes the temple ceremony to be maybe kinda a little less sexist
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss the recent changes to the temple ceremony which remove some of the most overt sexism. This is clearly cause ol’ Rusty has the red phone to Jesus and not because of the work of...
12.31.2018
57 - Survey and goodbye 2018
This week, Cari and Kelsae review the results of a survey they put out into their Facebook group regarding negative experiences within Mormonism. They also say goodbye to 2018, both for the podcast and themselves, and set some intentions for...
12.17.2018
56 - Mormon temples
CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: A few mentions of suicidal thoughts. This week, Cari and Kelsae get stoned and watch a recording of the Mormon endowment ceremony, per listener request. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll rage against the cult. If you are watching...
12.07.2018
A minisode on suicide
CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Frank discussion of suicide (including some details of a recent suicide in the news), suicidal ideation, and mental illness. Sister Cari put together this minisode discussing the recent suicide of a 19-year-old woman at BYU. She talks about...
12.03.2018
55 - Scientology and the Aftermath
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss Leah Remini’s show Scientology: The Aftermath and why y’all should go watch it. They’ll get to the temple (they promise), but it just wasn’t happening this week. But seriously, go watch some cult documentaries....
11.22.2018
54 - Apostate gratitude and call to do some temple prep!
This week, Sister Cari does a solo episode in which she shares apostate, queer, and just general gratitude from members of the No Man Knows My Herstory Facebook group. Also, we are doing an endowment ceremony episode next week, so...
11.02.2018
53 - Rusty goes fundie
534367 This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss recent comments made by the prophet of the Mormondy Mormon Church of Latter-day Mormons and his wife which are, let’s say, concerning. There’s a lot of joking, fun-poking, and swearing. Ol’ Rusty Nelson...
10.29.2018
52 - BITE Model and Missions
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss the BITE Model as it pertains to the Mormon mission experience. Spoiler alert: Mormon missions are extremely cult-y. Also, Cari and Kelsae both totally know that the honorific for male missionaries is “Elder,” regardless...
10.21.2018
It's a mother-effing minisode
This week, Cari and Kelsae put together a minisode responding to some listener feedback in lieu of just taking the week off. Life is all kinds of up in the air right now, friends, so bear with us. Also, at...
10.15.2018
51 - General Conference (can suck it)
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss the gaslighting pile of crazy that was this latest session of MORMON General Conference. And now, a tribute to Russell M. Nelson and Lucifer himself: MORMON MORMON MORMON MORMON MORMON MORMON MORMON MORMON MORMON...
10.08.2018
50 - One year in, a retrospective.
This week, Cari and Kelsae celebrate No Man Knows My Herstory’s one year anniversary! They share some memories of creating the podcast, discuss some big changes in their lives over the past year, and share listeners’ feedback, news, and stories....
10.01.2018
So ... we need another week off.
Hi friends! Cari and Kelsae are practicing some mother-effing radical self care and taking another week off. We swear to gob the retrospective episode is coming! Here’s a few minutes of us saying that very thing, AND ALSO! We went...
09.24.2018
Another totally-not-real episode.
We need a break this week, friends. Don’t fret, we’ll be back next week to celebrate the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY (!!!) of No Man Knows My Herstory! Holy fetch. Please enjoy this short message of us saying that same thing...
09.16.2018
49 - Boundaries, THE SEQUEL! Listener questions
This week, Cari and Kelsae revisit boundary setting with Mormon family members and hear feedback and stories from listeners. It’s a wild ride. Keep yourselves safe out there, friends. CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of self harm, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and...
09.09.2018
48 - McKenna Denson crashes sacrament meeting and is a BAMF
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss McKenna Denson’s showing up to Joseph Bishop’s ward and calling him and the Mormon Church of Mormon Latter-day Saints right out. McKenna is a hero; we’re sure of it. Also, please send us your...
09.03.2018
47 - Boundaries with Mormon family
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss creating and maintaining boundaries with families, especially abusive families or families who are still involved in a cult which harms you. They talk about their own personal journeys setting boundaries with their families and...
08.27.2018
This is not a real episode.
Hello friends! Cari and Kelsae are taking the week off. Please enjoy the following short audio message saying that exact same thing. okayseeyounextweek, byeeeeeeeeeeeee. For fancy social media links and other info about the podcast, head to: www.nomanknowsmyherstory.com
08.20.2018
46 - The Mormon Church is transphobic and how to self-care through unsafe situations
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss two major topics: an article in the Salt Lake Tribune this week about a trans individual who will likely be expelled from BYU for seeking top surgery and self-care in unsafe, traumatic situations. They...
08.13.2018
45 - Cards Against Humanity, Zelph On The Shelf Edition
This week, Cari and Kelsae play a version of Cards Against Humanity made by the folks behind Zelph on the Shelf. It’s silly! It’s irreverent! It’s short! Hecklers rejoice! For full show notes and links, go to: https://www.nomanknowsmyherstory.com/episodes/045
08.05.2018
44 - MOAR MORMON TROPES!
This week, Cari and Kelsae continue last week’s topic by ranting about yet more crappy Mormon tropes. Among these are fake service, “knowing,” codependency, and nonsense reasons to explain why folks apostatize. We’re excited to be doing all this yelling...
07.29.2018
43 - Just a few terrible Mormon tropes
This week, Cari goes solo since Kelsae is out of town at mothertucking RollerCon! Thanks to the lovely fans in our Facebook group who supplied her with suggestions, Cari discusses just a few terrible Mormon tropes and other crappy, trauma-inducing...
07.21.2018
42 - Happy birthday to Kelsae and a coming out story
This week is Kelsae’s motherducking birthday episode. Kelsae is coming out -officially! - as a lesbian at the age of 31, fresh out of a mixed-orientation relationship. Cari and Kelsae discuss the consequences of being raised as queer Mormon kids...
07.15.2018
We're taking the week off
Sisters Cari and Kelsae are taking the week off again (because self care is important, folks!). We'll be back next week for a very special episode to celebrate Sister Kelsae's 31st birthday. Hooray! See you next week!
07.07.2018
41 - A follow-up conversation re: Believer documentary
This week, Cari and Kelsae have a follow-up to last week’s episode, including encouragement to leverage your privilege. Oh, and there was the time they had a phone conversation with Tyler Glenn about our opinions regarding Believer and LoveLoud. Cari...
06.30.2018
40 - Why we're pissed about Dan Reynolds' documentary Believer
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss the Dan Reynolds documentary Believer, which was made available on HBO this week. Lots of people have been lauding it, but (spoiler alert which should surprise no one) Cari and Kelsae think it has...
06.24.2018
39 - Our amazing LGBTQIA heritage
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss American LGBTQ history and heroes because queer folks deserve to feel proud of where they come from rather than just not hating themselves. They discuss Stonewall, the US AIDS epidemic, LGBTQIA activists to know,...
06.17.2018
38 - LGBTQ Mormons in history
This week, Cari and Kelsae review some stories of LGBTQ early Mormons. They discuss Evan Stephens (director of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir who was totes gay), Ada Dwyer Rusell (an actress of Mormon descent who was a lesbian), Kate Thomas...
06.10.2018
37 - Gays do it better, especially Louie B. Felt
This week, in celebration of Pride month, Cari and Kelsae discuss a rad lesbian from Mormon herstory, Cari’s great-great-great aunt, Louie Felt. Louie and her longterm partner, May Anderson, ran the general Primary for decades and started the Friend and...
06.03.2018
36 - Mormonism and mental illness
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss several mental health disorders and how Mormonism feeds into them. Mormonism is the worst. So is mental illness. Sorry if you, like us, have both. CONTENT WARNING: general discussions and mentions (no explicit details)...
05.26.2018
35 - You don't have to take our word for it
This weekend is Cari’s 30th birthday, so it’s a short one. There’s one brief note about last week’s episode about white privilege, and then they do something completely different and read a story of their own creation. Have a chill...
05.20.2018
34 - A secular come-to-Jesus-meeting for white ex-Mormons about our privilege
This week, Cari and Kelsae, two white ladies, gather up other white ex-Mos for a discussion about white privilege and how it makes us into a**holes. White ex-Mormons, particularly those who create ex-Mo content, should be talking about white privilege,...
05.13.2018
33 - It's a two-fer! LDS church on the BSA and medical marijuana
This week, Cari and Kelsae give you two topics for the price of one. They discuss the announcement that, after 105 years, the LDS Church and the BSA will go their separate ways and the LDS Church’s concerns on Utah’s...
05.06.2018
32 - "Non-consenual immorality" and why Mormons don't understand consent
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss Elder Quinton L. Cook’s recent General Conference address, Prepare to Meet God, wherein this so-called apostle of the Lord introduced the concept of “nonconsensual immorality” and conflated it with good old fashioned immorality. Body...
05.01.2018
28 - Joseph Bishop and sexual abuse in Mormonism
Cari and Kelsae were not planning to do a Joseph Bishop episode, but do an episode they did. They start off with why they were initially quite resistant to talking about Bishop, then launch into their reactions to the events...
04.29.2018
31 - Self-compassion
This week, Kelsae and Cari talk about self-compassion. Kelsae gives us some of the key points of Dr. Kristen Neff’s book, Self-compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and both Sisters discuss and feel a little grief for...
04.22.2018
We're taking the week off
Hi friends, this isn’t a real episode. Cari and Kelsae are taking the week off for self-care reasons, but will return next week with pleeeeenty of swears. Don’t fret. In the meantime, go check out some of our previous episodes...
04.15.2018
30 - Substance use 101
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss substance abuse, addiction, and guidelines for healthy use of substances. Cari used to work in substance abuse, so she shares her knowledge, and Cari and Kelsae each discuss their experiences with substances after leaving...
04.08.2018
29 - April 2018 General Conference
This week, Cari and Kelsae talk about the most recent General Conference. It was, in a word, unimpressive, despite what a lot of active Mormons are saying. There are two new apostles, seven new temples, and two program changes to...
03.25.2018
27 - Discovering our queer selves
Cari and Kelsae talk about how they discovered they were queer and all the pitfalls that come with being queer women in a religion that erases female sexuality. They talk about exploring queer identities and labels and not feeling queer...
03.18.2018
26 - Mormon Mad Libs
This week, Cari and Kelsae need a fetching break. It’s been a week, friends, complete with families and dealing with our wily brains in new and painful ways. We’ll be right back to our normal content next week. For this...
03.11.2018
25 - What we wish our parents had done
This week, Cari and Kelsae discuss what they wish their parents had done for them when they were cute little queer kids. C&K are still cute (adorable!) and queer (women are so rad, you guys), but now they are traumatized...
03.03.2018
24 - Values for Mormon young women
As sisters in Zion, we had some values gingerly pounded into our brains. Turns out they messed us up, but the good news is that we don’t have to accept any values we don’t want to adopt. For full show...
02.25.2018
23 - Cultural humility and being an ally in the ex-Mormon community
Cari and Kelsae discuss cultural humility, an important concept in social work and medicine, and the importance it places on continual self-evaluation and breaking up of power dynamics rather than on knowledge. They tie this in with allyship, and they...
02.18.2018
22 - Responding to listeners' questions
This week, Cari and Kelsae answer listener questions, since the crazy is too strong to be trusted with answering email and PMs. Plus, find out how to join Club F#ck Packer! Cari and Kelsae talk about existential crises, anger, and...
02.11.2018
21 - LDS website on suicide prevention, part 2
Cari and Kelsae continue their discussion about the LDS church’s recently updated website on suicide prevention. This week, they focus on the messages being sent to people whose lives are personally touched by suicide. Unfortunately, the church does not exceed...
02.04.2018
20 - LDS website on suicide prevention, part 1
This week, Cari and Kelsae talk about the recent updates targeted to local LDS leadership made to suicide.lds.org. Recently, Elder Rasband was added to a statewide committee meant to address the growing problem of suicide in Utah. Does the Mormon...

What's No Man Knows My Herstory about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

No Man Knows My Herstory episodes:

62 - Club Fuck Packer is anti-Semitic BS

61 - Oaks is the worst

60 - Endure to the end, suckers

59 - PTSD, neuroception, and Mormonism

58 - Russell Mormon Nelson changes the temple ceremony to be maybe kinda a little less sexist

57 - Survey and goodbye 2018

56 - Mormon temples

A minisode on suicide

55 - Scientology and the Aftermath

54 - Apostate gratitude and call to do some temple prep!

53 - Rusty goes fundie

52 - BITE Model and Missions

It's a mother-effing minisode

51 - General Conference (can suck it)

50 - One year in, a retrospective.

So ... we need another week off.

Another totally-not-real episode.

49 - Boundaries, THE SEQUEL! Listener questions

48 - McKenna Denson crashes sacrament meeting and is a BAMF

47 - Boundaries with Mormon family

This is not a real episode.

46 - The Mormon Church is transphobic and how to self-care through unsafe situations

45 - Cards Against Humanity, Zelph On The Shelf Edition

44 - MOAR MORMON TROPES!

43 - Just a few terrible Mormon tropes

42 - Happy birthday to Kelsae and a coming out story

We're taking the week off

41 - A follow-up conversation re: Believer documentary

40 - Why we're pissed about Dan Reynolds' documentary Believer

39 - Our amazing LGBTQIA heritage

38 - LGBTQ Mormons in history

37 - Gays do it better, especially Louie B. Felt

36 - Mormonism and mental illness

35 - You don't have to take our word for it

34 - A secular come-to-Jesus-meeting for white ex-Mormons about our privilege

33 - It's a two-fer! LDS church on the BSA and medical marijuana

32 - "Non-consenual immorality" and why Mormons don't understand consent

28 - Joseph Bishop and sexual abuse in Mormonism

31 - Self-compassion

We're taking the week off

30 - Substance use 101

29 - April 2018 General Conference

27 - Discovering our queer selves

26 - Mormon Mad Libs

25 - What we wish our parents had done

24 - Values for Mormon young women

23 - Cultural humility and being an ally in the ex-Mormon community

22 - Responding to listeners' questions

21 - LDS website on suicide prevention, part 2

20 - LDS website on suicide prevention, part 1