When you stop caring, results come. Men who are insecure about their flaws have a negative self view upon themselves that turns women off. If you allow things you cannot control to effect how you think or feel then you have no emotional self control. Women want a man who does not allow outside things, other people including her to effect his emotions or thinking. Stop allowing your hardships or flaws to negatively effect how you view yourself or the world. Take ownership and understand those things will make you stronger in the end. "If you hesitate before doing something, your doubts will undermine your efforts. When you act, be bold — and if you make mistakes, correct them with even greater boldness. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid." - 48 Laws of Power Robert Greene