Nobody Talks Shidduchim - The Jewish Dating Podcast

By Nobody Talks ShidduchimSociety & Culture Relationships

Nobody Talks Shidduchim - The Jewish Dating Podcast episodes

September 14, 2020 Ep 30: Money Talks
It’s a conversation to have, money talks in Shidduchim. Spending money on dates, paying shadchanim and of course family financial means.
1) Would you date someone who’s poor? Would you date someone who’s rich? Why?
2) When you find the one, what’s the expectation in terms of engagement/wedding gift? Do you/your family intend to stick to the “rules” of who pays for what at the wedding?
3) What kind of lifestyle do you need in a spouse? Frugality vs lavishness.
4) It’s a dog eat dog world: shadchanim who are in it for the money. Do they exist? Have you experienced them?
5) At what point do you feel comfortable spending a lot of money on a date?
6) Getting married when one or both are in school
6) Is there anything wrong with filtering for a rich spouse?
7) Are shadchanim catering to the rich?
8) Do you want to spend big on dates?
9) How to tell they are financially stable/saavy?
10) Are shadchanim catering to the rich?
42 min
August 31, 2020 Ep 29: An American Shidduch Story: Worst Dates Ever Part 2 (w/ Callers from Audience)
Do you feel like you had a "Shidduch experience from Gehenim?". In today's episode the crew and our live call in audience discuss some of their worst date experiences ever, which include:
1) The awkwardness of being set up
2) Another occupation mismatch
3) More foreign shidduch policy disaster!
4) Scary dates, just scary
5) Hikes & Yikes shidduch kind of date
6) Can worst dates turn to great dates?
7) The beltdown meltdown
8) Bayswater drinking stories
9) Unmasking the mask
10) Also Avery calls in
43 min
August 23, 2020 Ep 28: Rules of Shidduchim w/ Ahava Radio
Ariel Katz from Ahava Radio joins the OG NTS crew, yes that’s Avery, Miss D & IJ. We discuss our progress with the Shidduch podcast as well as a bunch of topic reviews, add-in, and some new stuff on the way.
1) Finding good shadchanim
2) More worst date stories
3) Awkward parent situations
4) Very bad date planning
5) What’s with the HomeDepot date?
6) What are the exact time stamps...traveling, eating..?
7) Music and dating
8) Avery unfiltered :-)
41 min
August 10, 2020 Ep 27: Does The Picture Really Matter?
The Shidduch Podcast crew discusses pictures, they are some daters best asset and others worst nightmare. Many times the picture depicts exactly the kind of vibe of the person and with some...it doesn’t even do it’s just.
1) Do you like using profile pictures?
2) Those who don't do photos/ Those who require photos
3) Can you Google or Insta search their pic?
4) First impressions with the photo
5) What is the source of the actual picture
6) Professional photo shoot or screen shot of their WhatsApp
7) can we actually judge off of a picture?
8) Too provocative or overthinking it?
9) What to do if you need another picture
10) If the picture is too quirky
11) Funniest and maybe sad shadchan picture experiences
12) Our new lightening round segment on the most craziest pictures our audience has gotten!
39 min
July 31, 2020 Ep 26: Dating Out of the Box and All of Those Quirky Characters
IJ, Yona and Chani discuss people who totally stick out of the resume stack. They are different, loud, don’t fit the status quo and just stick out like a soar thumb. Heck they may just be you! Here are our thoughts on those characters and how to understand whether it’s a good Shidduch for you or not.
1) What exactly is someone who is out of the box?
2) Identifying if you are or aren’t
3) Are we examining the Shidduch Resume too much??
4) What is the cookie-cuter Shidduch perspective
5) Don’t worry they’re very very normal
6) Toning things down: Do you have to calm down your funkiness and quirks?
7) Purple feather in the hat / funky rainbow skirt...when can these things be unloaded!
8) Why can’t they just have a normal profile pic!!
9) I am not judging the person..I am just judging based off of what you sent via what they put out...this is real!
10) Is it being naive or innocence?
11) Things are ambiguous
12) Can we really live above what the general population does with responses?
13) I don’t date from that area (ex: 5T, Monsey, Queens)
14) I’m noticing a pattern where a person from this place/this Yeshiva/this background tends to have this character trait, even though there’s no logical reason that should be. Should I stop dating those types of people?
41 min
July 23, 2020 Ep 25: How To Tell The Shadchan They’re Just Not Up My Alley
In this episode the podcast crew examines the classic responses like: she isn’t my look, he’s not up my alley, I just don’t see it and all of the politically correct responses you’ll need when talking to the shadchan.
Remarks to the Shadchan:
1) She’s not up my alley / He’s not “my type”
2) Why can’t they just have a normal profile pic!! OR they don’t do profile pictures...do they want to get married?
3) Physical Aspects and Resume Info:
4) He’s too short / she’s not my figure type
5) Their just not my look 😏 // I just don’t find them attractive!
6) Too loud/quiet
7) Hashkafically different / Different backgrounds
8) I don’t date from that area (ex: 5T, Monsey, Queens)
9) SPECIFIC ISSUES WITH SHADCHAN: Yes your my mother’s friend but you don’t know me so stop sending me outrageous ideas!!!
10) Enough with your sons sloppy seconds!!
11) Remarks from the Shadchan: I’m sorry you don’t approve of my resume. I’ll be sure to not answer your calls anymore.
12) YESSS a coffee date won't kill me but honestly my time is money and its really just gonna be a big FAT no from me
13) Im doing this for 10 years...just trust me!
14) So should I just not say anything to the shadchan 😡 like they don’t even give a hoot at what I have to say!
15) I just got a few No’s back..so yes I will be sounding brash...if they can be picky why can’t I??
16) The parents are divorced, I have a problem with that 😕
17) AS YOU DATE THEM: Can you just tell him to stop planning our dates around Starbucks!!!
46 min
July 09, 2020 Ep 24: Is Ashkenazi Dating Sephardi Interracial?
The NTS crew (now only IJ) has Guest Hosts Lia, Page and Fefe on to discuss Sephardic and Ashkenazi dating. Also a special message from Avery.
1) Are there really barriers?
2) Identifying the cultures
3) Experiences with the interracial dating
4) What it’s like to date Sephardic
5) What it’s like to date Ashkenazi
6) is it always better to stay with the culture that you grew up with or can there be positives to dating outside your culture cubicle: I.e better pesach minhagim less wait time between meat n dairy lol
7) Does one group have it easier than the other when it comes to dating
8) How do you comment on their culture without criticizing them?
9) Why always giving the benefit of the doubt will help reduce the barrier
10) Getting over fear of being judged by family/friends
11) Determining how to "run" your house in a way that makes both sides happy
12) When is it right to open yourself up to new cultural practices (Food, davening, weddings)
13) Is it worth crossing the divide despite the chaos that relationships may incur
14) When you know they are just not willing to give in enough to make you feel comfortable
15) Sterotyping - Overprotective ashkenazi mother- Tyrannical Sephardic father
16) Areas that you won’t be able to make compromises on
1 hr
June 23, 2020 Ep 23: Conversation Do’s and Don’ts
Conversation do’s and dont’s
The NTS Bros host Blair & Serena, two young daters who have a lot to say. Are there conversations you should avoid? Things that need to be addressed?
1) Serious matters to be discussed
2) Girls are usually more submissive when it comes to expressing there opinion on something (& even guys)
3) I don’t know how to tell you this, but I listen to Goyishe music!! 🤭🙈
4) Avoid Discussing who you dated and why it ended, Especially in the begging
5) Real life preferences like Aliyah, how many kids, etc..
6) Controversial things: Politics
7) If you want to be more frum
8) if you want to be more modern
9) When to compliment the person
10) You look so beautiful
11) There’s an issue in my family I need to tell you about
12) Do you go to Minyan 3 times a day?
13) I don’t daven with a minyan
14) Can you dress better? Have you listened to NTS Ep 21!! Haha
15) I am falling in love with you
16) Finances
17) I hate Rabbis, shadchanim and all ‘em people I shouldn’t maybe be hating BTW
18) I’m not sure if I want to cover my hair
19) Lashon Hara
20) Places, travel and adventure
21) Don’t prolong things
22) Rule breaking and law breaking
49 min
June 12, 2020 Ep 22: Shidduch System Survivors - The Newlyweds' Take
Looking back after it all ended
The podcast crew brings on a married couple, one party who dated for many years and one who dated for a little bit. Now that they are married we discuss how hard dating was and what we can do to try to make it easier. Here are some things we get to...
1) what would they change, What did they like?
2) Are we looking for reasons why the date shouldn’t or didn’t work?
3) Can we persevere when being Shidduch downtrodden?
4) Are we seeing you many Shadchanim?
5) Rabbi Vs. The Shadchanit
6) What was the biggest struggle with Parents
7) what was the easiest of it all?
8) How did they know Vs when they were told
9) Shadchan experience
10) Family experience?
11) Real challenges singles face as relationship continues
12) What separated the person you married from others you dated
13) How to continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel
14) Lowest points of shidduch dating
15) Getting feedback from the shadchan or from the girl directly
16) It might have been inconsiderate, but I didn’t consider that guy to be inconsiderate
49 min
June 01, 2020 Ep 21: Call Her Hot Chani, When She Wears the Heels and He’s Got His Groom On
21 Are girls judged more harshly for how they dress or don't dress up?
1) What should you avoid wearing?
2) If you wear tights are you really frum?
3) Smartest thing to wear?
4) If you don’t like how they dress?
5) Comfort clothing...what date #?
6) The Flatbush look? 5 Towns look? Out of Towns look?!!
7) When can he wear shorts?
8) When he doesn’t let you know it’s a casual date and you show up in a PradaHow is this
9) what happens to Khakis, Jeans & Pigtails?
10) The "Torah" takes on style attraction and getting dressed up (Tznius)
11) Should fashion attire matter for the resume picture?
12) Is it really a make or break?
13) You find their old instagram with “questionable photos”
14) insecurity if the other person dresses too well
15) When can she lighten up on the Tznius thing
49 min