Nobody Talks Shidduchim - The Jewish Dating Podcast

Have you ever set up your friends before? Avery & IJ have! Many times and with each other. Let's go beyond the second hand talk that you hear from your friends as we discuss with callers what its like to setup your friends and be setup by them!

1) Do your friends really know you?

2) Has a friendship been broken because are they set up?

3) How to do it without hurting relationship?

4) Why aren’t people setting there friends up?

5) Do you have to be honest with your friend or can you give the classic matchmaker responses?

6) what do you say if you know this friend is trouble or you can’t deal with them when They set you up

7) What if your friend asks you to set them up with someone else you may know and the person who is asking to be set up is either not a good person or you don’t want to set them up or feel comfortable doing so

8) Your friend wants you to set them up and you actually want the girl for yourself!!!

9) What if they say something bad about your friend?

10) Do you tell your friend honest truth of what happened?

11) Shana rishona Shidduchim scavenger ( when couples get married )

12) Out of town in town

1) Siblings negative affects in dating

2) How much should I be telling my siblings?

3) Siblings positive affects

4) Does it change anything if your sibling is SINGLE OR MARRIED

5) Siblings getting involved in the Shidduch prospect

6) Ranking Siblings spouses and siblings themselves...many girls trying to find their bro?

7) Common chats with siblings..reality vs. their illusions

8) Meeting the siblings when the match is getting serious

9) Basing what not to do off your siblings

10) When siblings want to know too much

11) Getting setup with your best friends older brother or younger sister

Avery & IJ Rap Shidduch words, they also monologue about being in a serious relationship. Why is it so complicated, even for those ones that seem like they have it together.

1) Do daters treat dates seriously?

2) It’s all about finding out stuff about them, while knowing yourself

3) Setting the tone for who you are

4) Are women more direct in the serous dating stage?

5) Challenging times are good for a serious relationship, it makes or breaks it.

Part 2 of this Gender Roles series features Holy__Shid & Mrs. Raina Balsam. With IJ, Hanna, Yonah & Chani.

1) What is Holy__Shid and their mission?

2) The Torah’s perspective & modern day Shidduch actuality

3) Women wanting more Halachic involvement

4) Men wanting more house duties

5) Woman contributing financially

6) Men contributing in Shabbos & decorative aspects of the house

7) Focusing on what makes sense for you vs. for the world

8) Respectable jobs vs. a job for you Sponsored by Shas 4 Shidduchim: https://shas4shidduchim.org/?utm_source=nobodytalksshidduchim12.11.20&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=s4s

It’s important for both parties in dating to be themselves and stick to the roles they feel most comfortable with. Whether the man is cooking or the woman is bringing home the kosher bacon. But is there more to this than the average Shidduch dater can let on? The Crew discusses certain conventional roles in the relationship that when switched may be more unconventional than you’d think.

1) Of course it’s ok, but is there more to it?

2) Women wanting more Halachic involvement

3) Men wanting more house duties

4) Woman contributing financially

5) Men contributing in Shabbos & decorative aspects of the house

6) Roles exist but are a spectrum and aren't rigid

7) Roles can different based on cultural gender differences - Ashkenaz, Yeshivish, Sephard, BT, etc...

8) Focusing on what makes sense for you vs. for the world

9) Roles in a home are necessary regardless of gender but gender can be a useful way to breakdown responsibilities https://shas4shidduchim.org/?utm_source=nobodytalksshidduchim12.11.20&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=s4s

Remember AOL, Netscape or when Netflix was on DVD? Well if you do and you’re single this podcast is calling your name!

IJ & Rosie discuss what it’s like to be the “older single”. All the cliches like; soon by you, don’t give up, and why aren’t you married?

Is there actually an older singles community? Should you make some game changers when you become an older single?

1) Escaping the older Shidduch talk

2) Does the wall actually get higher for the older girl? For the older guy?

3) Do you hang out with other older singles, or your friends who happen to be married?

4) Older singles may be a problem, but it’s not a disease!!

5) Avoiding negative people

6) Is dating people younger really that big of a deal?

7) Headspace and emotional stability for an older single

8) Keep yourself slightly NEEDY...here’s why

9) I’m not the same person when I started dating in the slightest bit yet I’m the same person

Welcome to the Friend Zone

*Let’s Be Friends...*

• Can guys and girls be friends with each other?

• Can I maintain a friendly relationship with someone I dated? What about someone I dated seriously?

• Making shidduchim with people you’ve dated

*Make Amends*

• I mistreated someone who I dated. Should I ask mechillah? How would I even go about that?

• I feel I deserve an explanation from someone I previously dated. Should I reach out to them?

• The shadchan really messed things up. Should I confront them?

*Friends of The Family*

• I was suggested to a family friend, who would be a good match, but it’s just too weird!

• I’m interested in my family friend. How should I, or my parents, approach the situation with the other party?

*REJECTED!*

• I was rejected by my friend who I really like. What should I do?!

• Is it possible to exit the friend zone?

• I was rejected by a family friend, who I will definitely see again. How do I avoid the inevitable awkwardness?

• Using a parent as your shadchan

• A mother knows best– how much should I trust my parent’s experience/advice?

• My agent will handle this– How involved should my parents be in “handling” my shidduchim? Do I have a responsibility to take part in the process?

• Parental consent– what if my parents nix a good idea for reasons that don’t actually matter to me?

• The Parent Trap– my parents are very controlling and won’t let me make my own dating decisions. How do I break free?

• One man’s treasure... My parents just don’t get me and are trying to match me with the wrong type. What should I do?

• I heard concerning things about his/her parents. Should I end it?

• Pair-rents– do both sets of parents have to be a good shidduch too?

• Mommas boy– I really like the person I’m dating, but he/she has an unhealthily close relationship with his/her parents. Is this a concern?

A Conversation With Shadchanit Rissel Namark.

Discussion:

Not just setting singles up but why aren’t they staying together?

Is our generation lacking? If so where is that lacking coming from?

Parenting issues in the entire process

Is calling on the phone like texting?

What’s the deal with Chemistry?

Most men are not finished products and woman need to accept that

Problems with the boss ladies

Is it really the divorce thing?

Who is too blame for the Shidduch crisis??

The last 20% before you get engaged in the Shidduchim process is a leap of faith...trust in Hashem!

When in doubt continue going out!

Our guest hosts, Chani and Yonah, and their featured guests discuss:

1. The great compromise - How rigid should your lifestyle expectations be? Reconciling differences in areas such as upbringing, child-rearing, food preference and money-spending.

2. Deciding you’re not compatible

• Are you being too picky?

• How to point out concerning behaviors to the shadchan

3. Personality tests/horoscopes- are they a good barometer?

4. Friends/Family

• What do you do when your family/their family expresses clear distaste for the shidduch? (Elope? Break it off? Work it out?)

• What if you like them, but can’t stand their friends/family?

• What do you if a friend intervenes and says they think it’s a bad shidduch?

5. Comfort with expressing disagreement- becoming comfortable telling your date that you disagree, and being told that they disagree with you